Trouble with the SAS!
by Gazlover12-Canada
Summary: You wont find humor like this anywhere else. The SAS base has some very skilled soldiers. Little do people know, some wouldn't exactly call them...sane. R&R!
1. The trouble starts

**A/n: Hey guys! This is a COMPLETELY re-edited version of Trouble with the SAS chapter 1. Now it'll be much easier to read, lol ;)**

**All POV:**

Soap opened his eyes and yawned. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and blah blah blah it was a lovely day at the base of the S.A.S British army. Today was a day off. That meant no work, no missions, no anything except relaxation only.

Soap got out of bed. He saw that Gaz was already up because his bed was empty. Soap's stomach grumbled so he made way to the kitchen. When he got there, he saw Captain Price was sitting down, drinking coffee, a cigar hanging from the corner of his mouth.

"Morning Soap," He grunted, in his raspy, mature voice.

Soap nodded in respect and went to the cabinets in search of breakfast. He grabbed two doughnuts and some coffee. A minute later, Gaz walked in.

"Morning Price, Soap," He said.

He then made his way to the fridge in search of his usual water melon. Everyone continued doing whatever, until they heard a loud gasp from Gaz.

"WERE IS MY WATERMELON?" He shouted in a rather demanding tone. Everyone was silent. Who would take Gaz's watermelon?

"What about watermelon?" Nikolai said, walking in. Nikolai was a pilot/mission planer.

"I MEAN IT! WERE IS IT?" Gaz shouted twice as loud.

Price gave Gaz an admonishing look, telling him to calm down.

"We don't know Gaz, you will just have to go to the store and buy some," He said. Gaz glared back. He did love his watermelon.

"Fine but Soap, your coming with me! Were getting Griggs too!" Gaz said, stalking out of the room. That was were trouble began.

Gaz, Soap, and Griggs all got into the big Military truck. They were out of uniform, wearing cargo pants and free colored T-shirts. The store was about 20 minutes from the base.

**Detective Kamarov POV:**

Another day at the police station. So far nothing big. Just a gang of robbers, and a runaway kid. Just the usual. I was shocked to see my partner, Detective Eric come in with three young men, all were toned with muscles. They looked dangerous all right.

"I found these three at the local supermarket sir. Their all yours," He said. If anything, I did not want to deal with these men.

"Um, Eric may I have a word with you, alone?" I asked. He nodded and looked at the men.

"Stay here. We have the place guarded," He warned. They nodded, one rolling his eyes. We departed to a little supply closet.

**Soap POV:**

Why, oh why do I have to get myself into this? Price is going to be furious to find out we've been arrested by some cops! Gaz looked fine, just a little annoyed that he didn't have his watermelon and Griggs was his usual sunny self. Was it just me who was panicked? The two cops went to talk in some supply closet.

**Detective Kamarov POV:**

"Okay so what the heck did those men do?" I asked. It is to be hoped that they were not too dangerous. Eric sighed.

"One stole some things from the market, another publicly threatened the other one, and the other had a bad temper and all stole military property. They tried to get me to believe that they were part of the army, but they were not dressed right and had no identification. Here are the reports," He said, shoving some papers into my hand, and left.

Great! Now I was stuck with three dangerous men who stole from the military, the store, and publicly threatened a person! This would be a long day.

"Okay if you will all, er, come into the questioning room," I said, silently praising the lord that they were handcuffed.

They all came in and sat down next to each other. I sat across the table and turned on the light that was hanging over it. I thought of what to say.

"Well, lets start with your names," I suggested.

I looked at the one to the right. He was big, with tons of muscle. His skin was toned black and he had eyes that looked as sharp as a hawks.

"The names, Griggs sir," he said, grinning.

I then looked at the one in the middle. He wore a tan baseball hat, and was just as big, but white, and he had a beard. He sighed. "Hello mate, my names Gaz," He said.

I then looked at the last one. He had a short mohawk and had the same muscle toned body but was slightly tanner than Gaz.

"Soap," He said.

What kind of names were Soap and Gaz? Were they lying? They were already in enough trouble. I wanted to get this over with.

"Okay so it seems that you Griggs, threatened Gaz that you would shoot him, in front of everyone? Am I right?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yes, but it was just a joke!" He said. Sure it was.

"Mhm," I murmured, taking more notes.

"Now you Gaz, stole a watermelon from the local super market?" I asked him.

He glared at me.

"Listen mate, I had to run after Soap!" He said.

Hmm.

"Why would you have to do that?" I asked.

"Because he was running out of the store, duh! I just said that!" He said.

I looked him in the eye.

"Why was Soap running out of the store?" I asked.

**Gaz POV:**

"Why was Soap running out of the store?" The detective asked me.

I thought.

**Flashback:**

I looked at all the watermelons carefully. I always needed the perfect one. I poked one ever now and then, and looked for just the right color.

"Gaz hurry up!" Soap whispered. "Civilians are getting nosy about our truck."

I sighed and turned to him.

"Well, you have your ID so we'll be fine," I said.

I saw Soap stop breathing. "I forgot my ID," He said.

"Gaz we have to leave, get a stinking watermelon now!" He said.

I rolled my eyes. This guy was so paranoid.

"Have you got any ones?" I asked, finding that I only had a fifty dollar bill.

He searched around and shook his head.

"So now what?" I asked.

"Just pay! Hurry, now or I'm leaving without you!" He said.

Griggs nodded in agreement with Soap. I stood still.

"I cant pay with a fifty dollar bill, watermelons are only five dollars!" I said.

Soap threw his hands in the air and walked out. Forgetting about the watermelon, I went after him.

**End of Flashback.**

"Uh, he was in a hurry and I had to stop him from leaving without me" I said.

The detective seemed to be thinking about that.

"And you brought the watermelon with you?" He asked.

I nodded impatiently. I hoped Price would not be too angry.

**Soap POV:**

"So Soap, you were the one driving the stolen vehicle," Detective Kamarov said.

I wanted to tell him that it was all Gaz, and that this whole 'under arrest thing' was just a misunderstanding but life just isn't fair.

I nodded. "Yes sir but you see-"

"And you had no papers showing that you were part of the military,"

"Well, yes-"

"And your friend over their stole a watermelon."

"LISTEN! This a just a big mistake!" I shouted, finally able to finish a sentence.

The Detective's mouth clamped shut and I thought I heard him whimper. Well, perhaps Price is right-yelling is the key to tons of things. The thought of Price makes my stomach sink.

"I think well have to discuss your temper later Soap," The detective said.

How long till later?

**Griggs POV:**

"And you thought it would be appropriate to threaten to shoot Gaz, in public?" The detective weirdo man said to me.

Boy he sure was bulky man!

"Yeah that's right. The man takes forever just to pick out one single watermelon!" I said.

Why can't the dude figure that out himself?

"Well, you do know that threats can be a serious matter, and-" The detective said, but I interrupted with, "Yeah I know, I know, but man be serious! We belong to the military! We know our laws well!" I said.

The detective man didn't think so.

"You failed to have identification! We shall question you later, I need to talk to my partner. Guards, please take them to an empty cell," He said.

**All POV:**

Soap, Griggs, and Gaz all were escorted to a small cramped cell. It was a small bed with a hard pillow, and a toilet.

"I call bed!" Gaz shouted, jumping onto it.

Soap came forward.

"This is all your fault Gaz! If it wasn't for you and your bloody watermelons, we would be enjoying our only day off, but instead we are stuck in this cramped cell! Happy now?" Soap shouted, exploding with rage.

"Calm down, well get out of this!" Griggs said.

"Yeah mate, no worries!" Gaz said.

Soap glared at him.

A few minutes later a guard came.

"You get one call" He said, giving them a little phone.

Soap grabbed it. He knew who to call.

**Price POV:**

It was sure taking them a long time to get back. Then again, Gaz was most likely trying to choose a perfect watermelon, again. I was relaxing with my cigar in a lawn chair, a glass of lemonade by my side, watching the trainees run the obstacle courses, occasionally shouting out a command. This was paradise!

"Captain Price, you have a phone call" A Sergeant said, holding a small phone.

Ugh, why do people always call me on my relaxing days?

"Bring it here, and go get me another cigar!" I ordered him.

I remember when Soap was new, and he was running the courses! I sat in this lawn chair as well. The Sergeant brought the phone over, and then left.

"Hello?" I asked

"P...rice!...is...Soap...in..m...ail...Gaz!" Soaps voice said.

The line was fuzzy.

"Listen, just do whatever, I am relaxing and your breaking up! I AM LEAVING!" I shouted into the phone.

"Who was that sir?" Nikolai asked, coming to sit in another chair next to me.

"Something about them having to pick up mail? I'm not sure, the line was fuzzy" I replied, then went back to relaxing.

**Soap POV:**

"Hello?" Price's voice said.

Oh god how glad I was to hear it! I talked right away.

"Price this is Soap! Were in jail, because of Gaz!" I shouted into the phone.

"Listen just do whatever, I am relaxing and your breaking up! I AM LEAVING!" He said, and hung up.

"Price? No!" I said.

The guard went away with the phone.

"What did he say?" Gaz asked, hopefully.

Soap was so frustrated that he gave Gaz a good smack on the arm.

**Gaz POV:**

The cell was very cramped, and it was hard to move around. I craved a good juicy watermelon right now. Just moments later after this thought, Detective Kamarov came in.

"We need to speak to you Soap, to discuss some things about the earlier action."

**Soap POV:**

"For the last time, WE ARE PART OF THE MILITARY!" I shouted.

The bloody man kept asking for the truth! Why the heck doesn't he believe us!

"Can you please tell the truth?" He asked.

I smashed my fist to the table in frustration. That was it, more than half the day was gone by and if this kept going on, our day off would be ruined! All because of Gaz and his watermelons!

**All POV:**

The guards put Soap back in his cell. Gaz and Griggs went to his side.

"Man we gotta' get out of here!" Griggs said.

"I know. I have a plan" Soap replied.

"Okay ready Gaz?" Soap asked.

He nodded and pulled out the flash bangs and grenades that he always kept on hand. It was a good thing that those police men didn't search properly. Gaz always kept them taped to his chest, under all of his backup armor that he always wore. He always was prepared.

"Now, Gaz!" Soap ordered.

Gaz threw one at the cell bars.

"Duck!" He shouted.

A loud bang erupted. The metal had demolished and a big hole was there, just right to fit out of.

"Hey!" A cop shouted. The three men didn't listen, and just kept running down the hallway.

"All right guys remember, they might have pepper spray, and I hate that stuff!" Griggs said.

"Okay Griggs well look out then," Soap said. "We need to find our military truck right now!"

They ran outside, ignoring the alarms that went off. They knew that the truck was in the parking lot, behind the building. It was a good thing that the cops didn't return it yet.

"Look, I see the truck!" Gaz shouted. The men dashed to it, fast as possible. Their was the truck plain as day. It looked like a goddess to Soap, who was first to climb in.

"Oh shit! Where's the damn keys?" He said, looking frantically all over.

"I think Detective Kamarov had them," Griggs said, putting his hands in his face.

"I'll get em!" Gaz said, and dashed away towards the building.

"I don't think this will go so well," Soap said slowly. Griggs nodded silently.

**Gaz Pov**

"I think Detective Kamarov had them," Griggs said.

Uh! Now what? That dumb dimbo detective just had to ruin my day!

"I'll get em" I said, and dashed to the door.

Inside, their was cops everywhere. I don't even know if they noticed me, they were so scared and worried. I looked around for Kamarov. I think I remembered that the keys were hooked up to his belt. I heard a noise in the closet. Perhaps he was in there. I knocked on the door and patiently waited.

The door then opened and Kamarov came out along with his partner Eric. Both looked nervous and straitened their shirts, that were all messed up for some reason. Kamarov gasped when he saw me.

"Sorry mate, but I need those keys! We really are not crooks" I said quickly, and grabbed onto our keys which were on his belt, and tugged hard.

They would not move. He then pulled out his pepper spray so I ran down the hall and up the stairs to the roof.

Kamarov chased me up their, but I really needed those keys. He cornered me near the edge and a thought popped into my cool, sharp mind. I turned around and faced him. I rammed into the big man, causing him to stumble. While he was flailing his arms, I grabbed them and twisted them back and pushed him so he was half leaning over the big roof. He gasped.

"Wait! Please! Stop!" He shouted.

So he WAS afraid of heights.

"Give me the keys to our truck!" I demanded. His arms flailed and he shook.

"Here! Take them! Just please let me go!" He said. I nodded appreciatively as he handed them to me.

"Thanks mate," I said, and climbed down the fire escape, landing next to the truck.

**All POV:**Soap saw Gaz running down the fire escape.

"Yes, I think he has the keys!" Griggs said. "Oorah!"

Gaz then ran up, and got into the truck.

"Let me drive Soap, you know I'm better," Gaz said.

Soap sighed and moved over. Gaz then started the engine and they were off.

"Uh Gaz, I think we got company" Griggs said, looking back.

Soap looked and saw detective Kamarov in a car, coming after them.

"This is not good!" Soap warned. "Gaz step on it!"

"God I can't wait for a watermelon!" Gaz said.

Soap and Griggs rolled their eyes.

Kamarov was gaining on them.

"We have to loose him!" Soap shouted.

Griggs dug in the trunk, for anything they could use. He pulled out an AK-47.

"Think we can pop his tires?" He suggested. Soap grinned.

"I think we can do that just fine. Just don't harm him," He said.

Griggs grinned back.

**Kamarov POV:**

I saw Griggs with a military gun! These men are a thousand times worse than I thought!Oh dear lord, was he going to shoot me? Perhaps I should just turn around. No Kamarov! These people could injure the innocent! I must put a stop to this! I know, I'll make it look like I turned around but really take a detour! I can follow them right to wherever they go and arrest them for good!

**Gaz POV:**

I drove fast but carefully. I am really better at driving than Soap. I can't wait to go back to base so I can eat a-Wait I never got to buy a watermelon!

"Guys we have to turn around!" I said frantically.

"What? Why?" Soap asked. I turned to look at him, not caring if we crashed.

"Soap you know I need a watermelon. We must go to that store," I said back.

He glared.

"Gaz you know they will get us, and keep your eyes on the bloody road you moron!" Soap shouted.

I then knew exactly what to do.

"I will stop driving right here, right now unless we go back," I said, slowing down a bit.

Soap looked like steam would come out of his ears.

"Gaz! What? Okay fine but just one watermelon! JUST ONE! And do not take forever. Griggs will guard the truck, and I will take your right flank. Stay frosty, I mean it," He said.

I smiled in satisfaction. I did always win.

**Griggs POV:**

Man why did Gaz always need a watermelon at the wrong time? Now we were parked across the street from the local super market, behind a little clothes store so civvies would not be attracted to our big truck. I just hoped he wouldn't get caught. I handed him a five dollar bill and he ran into the building, with Soap only a little bit behind.

**Kamarov POV:**

I saw their truck parked behind a clothes store across from the super market. Gaz and the other one-what was his name? Oh yeah, Soap! Well Gaz and Soap got out and crossed the street to go straight into the supermarket that they had robbed.

I walked in after them. On the way, I spotted a sweaty muscular man take off his shirt while pushing shopping carts to the store. I stopped in my tracks. I felt... different.

"I think I'm in love..." I whispered to himself.

**Soap POV: **

"Cmon Gaz hurry up!" Gaz, of course, was taking forever again.

He held up a watermelon and shook it. It sounded like legos were inside.

"No good!" Gaz said, and carefully replaced the melon.

Gaz picked up another melon and shook it. Suddenly there was a beeping noise. 'Bleep, bleep, bleepbleepbleep!'

"GRENADE!" Gaz screamed, and heaved the melon towards the ceiling.

It exploded in a beautiful spray of ink and melon juice.

"Ink bomb? What kind of store is this?" said Soap.

Gaz fell to his knees.

"NOOOOOOOOO! Why did you have to die so brutally? WHY?" Gaz cried as he licked the remains of his precious watermelon from his hands.

Suddenly, huge men surrounded them. Store security.

"RUN!" I yelled.

Gaz grabbed a watermelon and stuffed it into his shirt, then ran like the wind.

**Griggs POV: **

There was a lot of commotion in that store. I peered out the window suspiciously, just in time to see my two friends, all wet and blue, running towards the truck. Gaz was supporting his stomach, which somehow looked pregnant.

"Uh oh..." I saw Detective Kamarov running after them, screaming some gibberish in Russian.

I opened the door and yelled, "Get in! We gotta' go!"

**Kamarov POV: **After hearing a devastating explosion inside the supermarket, I turned my attention from the shirtless man, just in time to see Soap and Gaz run right past me.

And boy did Soap need some of what he was named after. The man was covered head to toe in inky melon juice!

I ran after them, but there was that other guy waiting for them in the truck. Griggs, that was his name. They got in the truck and Griggs started driving away. Little did they know that I had daringly jumped onto the back of their truck.

**Price POV: **

Everything was fine. Gaz, Griggs and Soap were all off base, which meant more peace for Pricey! Nikolai was attending my every wish, and I held a very long, mean looking bull whip in my hand. A trainee suddenly fell from a balance beam.

"Hey! Thats 5 lashes ya' muppet!" I began to advance on the terrified man, when there was a huge bang from behind me.

It was Soap's truck, smashing through the gates. It skidded, and a man who I had never seen before jumped from the back and rolled onto the grass. The truck lost control and rolled over three whole times before landing upside down next to the armory doors. I frowned and watched.

Soap came out holding his head, which had quite the gash near his eye, Griggs came out holding his arm, which was definitely broken, and Gaz hopped out clutching a ripe looking watermelon, completely unharmed. I chuckled to myself.

But then I saw something bad. The man who rolled off the truck was pointing a gun at my friends! I ran towards him as fast as I could.

**All POV: **

Kamarov held out a small pistol, aiming at the three men who had just stumbled from the now burning truck.

"On the ground, now!" He yelled.

"Whoa just relax buddy!" Griggs said, holding up his good arm.

"I said on the ground!" yelled Kamarov, who couldn't support even the small side arm with both hands.

The guy wasn't that great at keeping his cool. Soap easily lowered himself to the ground, and Griggs and Gaz followed.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't shoot you terrorists!" he yelled.

"Because their not terrorists." Price held an M4A1 to Kamarov's head.

The three men on the ground cheered and stood.

"Drop it, now." said Price firmly, as if he was speaking to a small child, or a dog.

Kamarov threw down the gun.

"On your knees!" Price demanded.

Kamarov sank to his knees slowly. Price raised the gun and used the butt of the weapon to bash the back of the detectives head, knocking him out cold. Then he turned to Soap Griggs and Gaz.

"Now calmly explain to me what the hell this was all about!"

The three men all erupted into argument.

"It was Gaz's fault!-No if you hadn't brought the truck!-Forgetting your ID is NOT military protocol you loser!-I'll knock your block off you stupid British wanker!-RACISM!"

"QUUUUIIIIIEEEETTTTTT!" I want you each to tell me just what happened in your own separate stories."

**1 Hour Later:**

**All POV: **

Price leaned back in his big black comfy chair.

"Mmmhmmm," Price said, thinking it over.

"I think I've got it now, so all in all, you three left, to go watermelon shopping, Gaz took forever so Soap got upset, and Griggs did too, then Gaz found one, and prepared to pay, then only had a 50 dollar bill, Soap got mad and started to leave, and without thinking, Gaz followed it, and the already suspicious civvies called the police and you all got hulled into Detective Kamarov's office?" Price asked.

All men nodded in unison.

"And then you broke out using military equipment, got over halfway back here, and then Gaz decided to go back and get another watermelon?"

"Yep," they all said.

"Then the melon had an ink bomb in it, which got Soap and Gaz, then you all drove back here, the detective jumped on your truck, and as you pulled in he shot your tires, you lost control, and then it ended with my saving your arses?"

"That about sums it up" Gaz said.

Price pinched the bridge of his nose and crumpled his face, showing that he was clearly agitated.

"W-What are you gonna' do to us?" Soap asked nervously.

Price looked up, a frown formed on his face.

"First I'd like to say that I'm very disappointed in you all." The three men sighed and looked down. That hurt more than any other form of punishment.

"Also, you are each all getting extra chores for the next week, so no dilly dallying. And no desert tonight."

"Awww, cmon!" the three of them grumbled.

"No, I'll hear no more complaining. Now, I'd like a word with our Russian friend. Go wash up and get to bed. Your going early."

"But it's only 7:00!" Gaz complained.

"It will be six tomorrow if you don't get in there!"

"YES SIR!" Griggs yelled, and ran out, dragging the other two behind him.

Price chuckled to himself.

"Those three. What a lot."

**Kamarov POV: **

I woke up in a small room with a table and two chairs. It was quite uncomfortable. After a good twenty minutes of sitting, my fanny began to get sore. So I paced the room back and forth, until the old man with the big moustache came in and started questioning me.

"Who are you! Who do you work for! You could be in huge trouble for being here! When the Americans hear about this, General Shepard will have your arse in a bag!"

The interrogation took over an hour, but I finally gave in when he started using a bull whip! It was very scary indeed, but I learned that these men were actually part of the SAS, and that they were off duty after a bad run in with a mean man named Zakhaev, or as Price called him, DunderHeadMcPootyPants.

I thought about it, and told him that I was with the local Russian Sheriff's Office, working as a detective. I brought in some of the nastiest criminals around, but I guess I was nothing compared to these brave men, who had ended a war by themselves. These guys had single handedly stopped nukes hitting America.

"Wow," was all I could say.

After that, Captain Price brought me back to the station. When we got there, Price asked if I would show him to the cell that his men had destroyed. I brought him there. There was a huge hole in the bars. Price slipped a check into my pocket.

"Now, your not giving this back." He said.

I heard a click. He moved away, and I tried to follow, but there was something holding me back. Damn. That Captain Price was a slippery one. He had used my own handcuffs to chain me to one of the undamaged bars. Price grinned as he exited, and removed his hat, swishing it as if he was closing a play. I sighed. Three hours until anyone was scheduled to show up for work to release me, and Price had set my keys on the desk across the room. Thankfully I was able to reach the remote for the mini tv.

**All POV: **

Everyone sat around the mess hall the next night. Soap, Griggs, Gaz, Price, and Nikolai were among the many at one table. Gaz was stuffing himself full of watermelon, and Nikolai was looking at him uneasily, fidgetting with his goatee.

Soap spoke up first.

"Whats up Niki? You've barely touched your steak."

"Uhh, uh... nothing, nope, just not very hungry is all!" Nikolai said fast and nervously.

"What is wrong with you man?" asked Griggs.

"Ummm, guys? Were all friends here right?"

"Obviously," said Price.

"Sooo, no hard feelings if anyone, did something that somebody else didn't like?"

"Like what?" Gaz asked.

That was when Nikolai finally broke down, tears streaming down his face.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I JUST SAW THE WATERMELON SITTING THERE ON THE TABLE, AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING I COULD USE FOR MY TRAINING SESSION ON KNIFING, SO I USED THE MELON! I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GAZ'S! I'M SOOOO SORRRYYYYY! WAAAAAHAHAAAA!" Nikolai was a wreck.

Gaz, on the other hand, was furious.

"You did WHAT?" he grabbed the front of Nikolai's shirt and pulled him across the table.

"You took MY melon, without even asking who's it was? You got us, ME, arrested, and compromised the base? You sorry excuse for a man!" Gaz threatened Nikolai with his fist, pulling it back.

Nikolai whimpered as Gaz waved his fist.

"Hey, just chill dude!" said Griggs, trying to pull Gaz away.

"C'mon Gaz, it's done and over with, you have all the watermelon you need now!" Soap added.

Price simply watched, trying not to laugh at the terrified expression on Nikolai's face, and Gaz's 'oh so serious' look. Gaz sat back down grumbling. Nikolai was still shaking.

"Let's all agree that it is OVER. It's finished, and we actually gained a friend today. Detective Kamarov has agreed to come to the next SAS BBQ. So lets just all settle down, and enjoy supper."

"Good idea." said Price.

"Fine." was all Gaz could say.

And with that, the situation was finally under control. But that didn't mean the TROUBLE wasn't. (;


	2. Pranks are not cool!

**A/n: Hello my fellow reviewers and readers! Here's chapter 2 with MUCH better format! ENJOYYYYY! :D**

Trouble with the s.a.s part 2:

Starring: Gaz, Soap, Griggs, Nikolai, Price, + Kamarov as well as...MAKAROV!

It was a regular day at the S.A.S British army. Just a usual, sunny, bright, peaceful day. There were people to train, work to do, places to go. Yup just the usual. Gaz was sitting down after a weapon teaching course, eating watermelon. He always used people he trained to chop up melons for him now.

Griggs was running laps, listening to rap music on his new headset and music player. He loved to run for some damn reason. He did every morning.

Soap was- well, he was doing a many different things. First he taught some men grenade throwing, then he was used as a demo at the cargo ship training course, then he was having a smoke.

Price was out and about ordering people around like usual. It was if he had to. Nobody at all knew that the sneaky 'lil Makarov was hiding in the back of one of the parked trucks. He had a mighty plan to do tonight.

Makarov saw a man eating watermelon at a table in the middle of the parking lot. How strange? He was very hungry from missing lunch, so he decided he wanted a piece. After a few minutes, the man got up and headed toward the restroom. As this was his chance to act, Makarov looked around to make sure nobody was looking, then he ran across to the table. He took the largest piece even though it was a chunk bitten out by that man. He then ran back to the truck.

Gaz came out of the restroom. He was very happy to eat his watermelon. He had a huge piece ready to be eaten. When he got to the table, he gasped. His prized piece was gone! He assumed Nikolai had taken it again. He ran down to were Nikolai was talking to Price.

"I just knew you would steal it!" He shouted.

Both men looked shocked. Price shook his head.

"Gaz, if this is about that razor again-" He started, only to be interrupted.

"No! He took my watermelon!"

But that was only one of the minor thongs yet to happen.

**Price POV: **

"Now now, I think Nikolai has learned his lesson by now. Remember last time?" I stated.

"He is the ONLY man that would EVER take MY watermelon!" Gaz complained.

"I didn't! I swear to you this!" claimed Nikolai.

"I believe you!" I yelled.

"Now, there has to be an explanation for this!"

"Well, maybe Griggs. It makes sense right? I mean, the man's been running for a while! He got hungry and thirsty so he took my watermelon!" Gaz victory punched the air.

"I've been watching Griggs the whole time! He never went near your melon!" Nikolai said.

"Soap?" I asked. "Maybe it was him? I think maybe he got thirsty after his smoke, so he used your melon to quench his thirst?"

"I did what?" Soap came up behind me, scaring the bajeebers out of me.

"Soap! You startled me!" Gaz got up quickly.

"See! He's sneaky! He took my melon! My beautiful watermelon!"

"What?" Soap looked genuinely confused.

"Gaz's big piece of watermelon is suddenly missing. Were trying to figure out who took it." I said.

"Well it certainly wasn't me!" Soap said, throwing up his hands and backing up dramatically.

"Then who did it?" I asked.

The question hung in the air like a knife.

**Makarov POV:**

Boy oh boy had I caused quit the ruckus on those blasted S.A.S members. I clasped my hands together, rubbing them. This was only minor! I had come up with the ultimate plan! I could make a series of unfortunate and bad events happen to them, and make them angry at each other, then they would...dun dun dun! Kill eachother out of rage! Mowahaha! Lovely! I could hear them arguing all the way from out here! This was going to be my success! I had to plan more though, so I went bak to curling up in the truck.

**Soap POV:**

"Gaz for peats sake! Just go to the store and buy another!" Griggs said throwing his hands up in the air.

"No!" Everyone else screamed.

Yes, of course they all remembered how going to the store last time had turned out.

"Well lets all go wash up and get to bed, cause we have a new batch of soldiers coming in next week and we need to be prepared." Price said.

The others all agreed, so they all went to bed.

**Makarov POV:**

I had just come up with the most ultimate plan yet! It was eleven o' clock so all the men would be sleeping. It was quite easy to sneak past the guards since they were playing a game of cards. I wish I could play cards.

Well anyways, I snuck into Captain Price's room. This plan would work swell!

His room was very dark, but luckily I had my little blue flashlight. I crept up to where he was sleeping, and stood over him. I unzipped my coat and pulled out my razor. Mowahaha!

**Price POV:**

The sun was shining as I opened my eyes.

I yawned and stretched, then got out from under the covers. I made my way toward the showers. When I got their since it was earlier than the others to wake up, I sang my favorite songs while scrubbing my body down. I always scrubbed my mustache last since it should be the cleanest. I took the soap and squirted a big puddle of it onto my hand. I plastered it onto my face but noticed something a little odd. The left side of my face was...bare? I wrapped a towel around my middle and stepped out to inspect it. When I looked into the mirror, I gasped.

Oh my god! Oh fuck! No! The left side of my mustache was missing! Shorn clean off! Who could do such a thing? To me! I was furious. Whoever did this would get it good!

I walked back to my room quickly before anyone could see my face. My hideous terrible ugly face! My reputation here was ruined!

**All POV:**

Captain Price walked into the mess hall for breakfast. He wore a checkered red and black bandana on his face. He looked pretty stupid. Everyone stared at him as he sat down and started helping himself to eggs and sausage.

"What's the bandana for?" asked Gaz.

"Just trying a new look is all." said Price.

The rest smirked as he tried to stuff food up inside the bandana to his mouth, spilling scrambled eggs everywhere.

"Why don't you take it off to eat Price?" asked Soap.

"Because, then I wouldn't be fashionable." he said, still trying to eat.

Gaz slowly leaned up from behind him, then grabbed the bandana and ripped it off. The whole mess hall fell silent. Gaz just stared at Price, and his mouth dropped open. Then he burst into an uncontrollable laughter, pointing at the half mustache on Captain Price.

While Gaz pointed and laughed, the others just sat there horrified. Who would do that to Price? Was it Gaz? He was laughing to the point of tears. Price casually raised his fist, and punched Gaz square in the eye. Gaz collapsed, no longer laughing, holding his already black eye groaning with pain.

Price got up, cracked his knuckles, and left. That was when the rest of them started laughing.

**Price POV:**

The lights were all out. It was midnight when I opened the door to the barracks. I walked to the end of the hall. Gaz was snoring loudly in his bunk, an icepack still resting on his right eye.

I opened Gaz's belongings trunk, and took out Gaz's hat. I looked at the UK flag and chuckled. I brought the hat back to my private quarters and got to work. Boy oh boy would Gaz be surprised tomorrow. And it was the day he went shopping! This would be funny...

**Gaz POV:**

I was at the store this morning. I looked at the watermelons, but I couldn't help but feel kind of weird this morning. People from all around were staring at me. Some asked me to take off my hat. I said no. Why were people so mean nowadays? Oh well. I figured they were just looking at my bruised and still very painful eye.

I walked up to the register, watermelon in hand. When I layed it on the counter, I noticed that the register worker, Tim was looking at me with an absolutely pissed off expressing.

"Top o' the mornin' Tim!" I said, smiling widely.

"Did you know that I'm JEWISH!" he growled.

"Uhh, yeah?" I said. He raised his fist.

"Wait, please!" I said.

The next thing I knew I was reliving the pain of Price's punch.

**All POV:**

Gaz walked into the barracks. He sniffled. Both of his eyes were equally black and blue now. How did that happen? He dropped the watermelon on his bunk and sat down, and began to cry. Soap walked up to him.

"Gaz? Take off your hat real quick."

Gaz asked why, but Soap grabbed the hat. He showed it to him. The UK flag wasn't there, but instead there was an official Nazi Swastika in its place. Gaz gasped.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS! YOU'RE DEAD PRICE! AAAAHHHHH!" Gaz went into a fit of rage and sprinted off.

This was really bad.

**Price POV:**

I was sitting down outside the training courses, watching people work. I didn't see Gaz, until he was right near me, hat off. So I see my plan did work! This would have been great except for the fact that he was red with rage.

"PRICE HOW COULD YOU?" He hollered, preparing to punch me.

Both his eyes were a nasty color of black. I held up my hands, chuckling.

"Okay Gaz, were both even, no need to act in haste" I said, nervously chuckling.

Gaz only moved in closer.

"I didn't f-ing do that to you!" He said, then launched himself at me.

"AHHRRRRR! Die Price!" He screamed in pure rage.

I thrashed around, trying to escape his deathly grip as his hands slipped around my throat.

"Accccc...G-gaz! W-a-ait!" I spat out.

His hands loosened the smallest fraction.

"Why should I wait? This is the perfect opportunity to squeeze the living life out of you," he said.

Since it was my only chance to speak, I did.

"Well what about Soap? I think this whole thing is his fault!" I said.

To my liking, his hands let go. He seemed to be in deep thought.

"Hmm. Yes I think your right! This morning he saw me and never told me to take it off! It IS his fault!" Gaz said, frowning furiously.

"We have to make him pay!" Price growled.

**Soap POV:**

This was not good! At dinner, Gaz and Price were glaring at me. What was their problem? I thought Gaz was mad at Price? Well, they are rather close in bonding so they may have just forgiven each other. I just shrugged it off as I hit the showers before going to bed.

**All POV:**

Makarov watched the whole scenes going on, and almost died of laughter.

Meanwhile, Price and Gaz snuck over into the barracks and came to where Soap was sleeping. His mouth was slightly parted while it was obvious that he was out cold. Price had put cold medicine in Soap orange juice so he would not wake up to what they had planned.

Price stared at Soap's full head of brown hair and grinned while Gaz pulled out the electric pair of razors.

**Soap POV:**

The next morning, I awoke, slowly. I was tired so I laid in bed for a few minutes until I got up.

I made my way to the bathroom to comb my hair and get dressed. I picked up my neon blue comb and pulled it through the middle of my head first, then started on the sides. That was odd. It sorta felt like...like my hair was gone. I looked in the mirror and almost shrieked like a girl.

My hair! My lovely beautiful hair! I had a freaking mohawk like style. The rest was cut off! Shaved off. This was terrible! Who would do this to me? At the thought of Price and Gaz, I stormed off toward the kitchen.

**Gaz POV:**

Price and I were laughing at the thought of Soap coming in to breakfast with a mohawk. God it would be the talk of the week! Price's mustache was already starting to grow back.

All of a sudden, Price was smacked down to the floor. Soap had tackled him, and then kicked me right in the shin! The freaking shin!

"What the hell?" I asked, while Price tried to get up.

He had a bloody nose while my shin had a nasty bruise.

"You shaved my head! Why would you do that? My head! My fucking head! You bastards!" Soap screamed furiously.

We had never seen him this angry and boy did he have a dark side. I scrambled up and tried to get to the door but Soap smashed my head with a plate. My cheek burned.

"Stop this!" I shouted.

They were both quiet and stared at me.

"What?" Price asked.

"Okay lets think this out. I think there's another person who most likely started this. Griggs!" I shouted.

Perhaps it really was him. The man simply laughed at everything that happened. "Lets do this!" I said.

**Griggs POV:**

I was running laps, as I usually did, listening to rap, as usual. The song came from my man 50 Cent. What a wonder he had with words.

When I finished, I headed to the showers. When I was all set and in the shower, I REALLY had to pee. It was to late to get out, so I peed in the shower. I also sang a little song, because the music was still in my head.

"Peein' in the shower, take a look around ya, all you fools are unsuspecting, cause of people ressurecting, all around, dig on down, and PEE IN THE SHOWER!" I rapped my heart out.

It was good no one was in the shower rooms...

**All POV:**

Gaz, Soap, and Price watched the video, laughing so hard they cried. They had finished editing and blurring the effects. Griggs could be heard peeing and rapping. Several hours later, the tape was sent off to America to be viewed for the next America's Funniest Home Videos.

**1 Day Later:**

The whole gang, everyone but Griggs, was waiting for the phone call. That's when the phone rang. Price answered.

"John Price? This is Tom Berguron with AFV. We loved your video! It will be featured on tomorrow's show!"

"Really? Thats great!"

"Thanks John, and stay tuned to our show to see your video!" Tom Berguron hung up.

Price smiled wickedly, and all the others high fived. This would be amazing.

**Griggs POV:**

I sat down in the lounge with my friends. Tonight was AFV night! How hilarious those poor suckers are on TV, caught doing embarrassing things, getting hurt, humiliated. What a good laugh that was.

Price was munching on popcorn in the corner, not sharing any, as usual. Soap and Gaz were in the bean bag chairs on the floor and I had the whole couch to myself. We had gotten through the first ten minutes of the show, laughing occasionally and having a good time, when suddenly I heard a voice I recognized personally. MY VOICE!

Somebody was laughing in the background, sounded like Gaz, and I could see my face, singing about peeing! And in the corner was a yellow stream!

"NOOOOOOOO!" I yelled, jumping up and pulling Gaz off his chair.

He screamed like a girl as I dragged him out the door, the other two laughing hysterically. They would get theirs.

**Soap POV:**

Price and I stared wide eyed at the screaming Gaz being dragged out the door. Then all was quiet for a few seconds. Then a glass shattering scream pierced the air. Then it was quiet again.

The doorknob slowly turned, then Gaz slowly appeared in the doorway. His hat was stuffed halfway down his throat, and he was breathing heavily through his nose.

"Hmnph!" was all I could hear from him, but it sounded like help.

So me and Price took the hat and pulled, there was a suction noise, and the hat was free. Gaz tried to say thanks, but his voice cracked, whistled, then died. He rubbed his throat and left. All Price and I could do was stare at eachother in disbelief.

Then the door opened again... Griggs came in glaring at them.

"You two are next. Soap get the fuck over here!" He growled, lunging at me.

I yelped in terror as Griggs grabbed my foot and threw me to the ground.

"Wait, wait, wait! Please I think I know who started this whole thing!" I screamed.

To me relief, Griggs let go.

"You better start talking Scotty!" He growled at me.

I crawled back to Price's feet, breathing heavily.

"This whole thing had to have been Nikolai! I mean look, he's the one who ate Gaz's watermelon! The bastard is as sneaky as hell!" I said, praying Griggs would still stay on the other side of the room.

"Hmm, you just might be right. Lets think." Griggs said.

Another night of planning.

We all laughed a lot that night, after the incident. Nikolai would pay his price.

**Nikolai's POV:**

Ahh, another bright lovely day. Today I would be teaching young pilots take offs. For now, I headed down to breakfast. When I got there, I noticed a lot of glaring at me. It must just me morning anger. Some actually hated to get out of bed!

I sat down across from my friends and to my surprise, they were all smiling to each other! I was so happy that they were not fighting anymore! But it was just too bad that they were not in a talking mood.

Once I caught Price giving me some sort of weird, evil smile. Unsure, I smiled back.

Later that day, A crowd of young men and a few woman training to be pilots, were crowding around in the take off zone. My plane was ready to fly. I would be showing them how to do a basic take off.

"Now looky here everyone. Gather together and sit on the bleachers. I will show you how to do a basic take off. Watch very carefully" I said, before climbing into my plane.

This plane was the best thing in my life. We have worked together since I first joined the army.

I sat down in my seat, buckling up. I pressed some switches and locked the door. I started the plane up, and it began moving. I drove it straight over the take off platform, preparing to launch this baby into the sky.

Before I could, I smelt the most terrible, revoltingest thing ever. Green gas was coming from somewhere. It clouded my vision, and brought tears to my eyes. I coughed and sputtered, trying desperatly to see out the window. It was impossible though. This was the worst smell that had ever filled my nostrils.

I was still hacking my lungs up, when I felt the plane go off course. It jostled and shook, then my plane smashed into something. We crashed! No! My plane! I have never crashed.

**Price POV:**

After Nikolai climbed into his plane, Gaz, Soap, Griggs, and I went to the bleachers where young pilots were sitting, watching in interest. We watched in interest as well. The plane started up fine. He had no idea about the stink bomb that lay under his seat. It would go off in about ten seconds!

Soon enough, right when he was about to take off, we saw clouds of green gas through the windows of the plane. The plane went off course. Gaz and Soap were laughing like crazy, and Griggs was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his cheeks. I laughed too. The plane went right into a big oak tree. The students stared wide eyed as Nikolai climbed out, coughing and crying at the same time.

He fell to the ground shaking.

"M-my plane! We've b-been together f-for five y-years!" He sobbed.

He came over and saw us all laughing.

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" He screamed.

We all laughed still until he grabbed Griggs, (who was the closest to him) and took out a small side arm, holding it to Griggs temple. I held up my hands, as did the rest of us. "Now now Nikolai, we got you back from the fist prank" I said.

"Now hold on everyone! Hold on! I think I have come up with an explanation for everything that has happened before. I think we all know that there's only one left that has started all this," Griggs said.

We all knew who he was thinking about.

"Kamarov!" We all said at the same time.

**Kamarov POV:**

I had just finished heating up some grub, and sat on my shabby couch, preparing to watch my nightly episode of Days Of Our Lives, when a knock erupted on my door.

"It's open, come on in!" I shouted, happily.

I was always welcomed visitors. I heard the door open, as well as more than one person's footsteps. To my delight, Price, Gaz, Griggs, Soap, and Nikolai came in. To my non-delight, Gaz turned off my T.V.

They all crowded around my small couch glaring at me. I noticed that Soap held tight rope in his hands.

"Uhh, whats up?" I asked, starting to get a tad bit scared.

Price glared, then turned to his men.

"Lets do this" He said.

I shrieked as they pounced upon me. I tried my best to get away, but in the end I was tied up and they threw me into the back of some small truck. Why would they do this? To me? I thought they were past the whole trying to arrest Gaz, Soap, and Griggs thing.

When the truck stopped, they tied a different rope around me, almost like a leash. I begged and pleaded. My heart started to pound as they brought me near a cliff.

"Uh, wait what are you doing? NO! Please!" I screamed when they hung me over a steep cliff.

Below it, deep dark water was there. My heart pounded even worse. This was my worst fear. I screamed like a girl for a long time, whilst they all laughed too.

**Makarov POV:**

I just couldn't help but burst into laughter when they hung the chubby dude over the cliff. I was sitting in a tree, watching everything. My plan was working like a charm! My stomach hurt so bad with laughter.

Then, the worst thing happened. My foot slipped out from under from me, and I fell from the tree, my arse landing on the hard, unforgiving ground.

"Owww!" I complained, rubbing my butt.

"What the hell?" Gaz said.

I think I just messed up big time.

"Um, this isn't what it looks like!" I cried.

They gave me dirty looks. Man if looks could kill...

"So YOU did this!" Captain Price said.

I shook.

"I-I know a different person!" I said.

They all laughed, except for the unlucky fellow hanging over the cliff.

"Man, we've been through that too many times!" Griggs said.

They all picked me up, despite my struggles, then the bastards chucked me off the cliff. I screamed and landed with a splash into the cold water.

A few hours later, I came home to my small shack, cold, wet, and tired. I was about to collapse onto my bed when I felt a pressure in my lower stomach. I realized that I had to poo.

I went into my bathroom and sat on the toilet. I paused when I heard a noise. It sounded like sparkling. I looked down and saw dozens of fire works at the bottom of my toilet. All I could do was plug my ears.

**All POV:**

"You think we taught him a lesson?" Gaz asked, when we saw the shack explode from a distance.

"I think we have," Price answered. "Lets go home."

The five men walked home. The trouble had ended, but not for long. The end? Most likely not.

**Epilogue:**

Kamarov had been hanging over the cliff for some time now. An hour ago, he saw a weird screaming man fall into the water.

"Guys?" He called. Nobody answered.

"Guys!" He screamed, when he saw that the rope was slowly breaking. The only thing he could think about was, 'Thank god I have taken swimming lessons!'


	3. Newcomers!

**a/n: Okay once again, the format is much better, and spelling errors and stuffs have been changed :D **

Trouble with the S.A.S Part 3: Newcomers

Starring: Soap, Price, Gaz, Nikolai, Kamarov, Ghost, Roach, Worm, and many other of our friends from cod Modern Warfare 1 and 2. Enjoy!

**All POV:**

Price brought all the men together for a special meeting.

"Now all of you, this is very important. Tomorrow, we shall be joined by other men. We will combine our forces" Price said.

Everyone looked around, confused.

"Do you mean they will live here with us?" Gaz asked.

Price nodded.

"Yes, we will share a barrack with them, and our General will be here. He is General Shepard," Price answered Gaz's question.

All the men grumbled.

"You mean we have to share bunks now?" Nikolai asked.

Again, Price nodded. Price cleared his throat.

"Any other questions can be asked tomorrow" he said, and walked out of the room.

Soap turned to Griggs.

"Gee I wonder what the men will be like?" He asked.

Griggs shrugged.

"Tomorrow, we will find out." He said.

Kamarov nodded in agreement. He now lived on the base too, and shared a barrack with them. Gaz came over.

"I heard they are from some weird thing called Task Force 141!" He said.

Leave it to Gaz to find things out. For now, all the men could do was wait till tomorrow.

The next day, Price had all of them wait at the entrance of the base, were the bus would arrive.

Soon, it pulled slowly into the driveway. All the men stood rigid, wondering what the new men would be like. The doors of the bus opened, and a man climbed off the bus. Soap saw his name tag. It was General Shepard.

"Hello men" He grunted.

"Today is the day, that you will combine with a different group called Task Force 141. They will be living here with you, and join the S.A.S," Shepard said.

"Why?" Gaz asked.

Shepard glared at him.

"Are you questioning my statements? Drop down and give me fifty push ups!" He shouted.

Gaz dropped right away.

"Anyway, meet your new friends!" Shepard said, and tapped on the side of the bus.

A line of men came out, forming a group around Shepard.

"These are the men from Task Force 141. While why don't we all introduce our selves hmm? Well start with you!" Shepard said, pointing to one of the Task Force 141 members.

The man had brown hair, and a good stance.

"My names Gary Sanderson, but call me Roach" He said.

S.A.S members looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Roach? The man next to Roach looked very creepy. He wore a skull like balaclava, and orange sunglasses. He looked at them, but it was impossible to tell what kind of expression we was making under that mask.

"The names Simon Riley, but call me Ghost. I mean it," He said.

It sounded like he had a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"This guy looks like a nut job," Soap whispered to Price, who grunted in response.

"You go now," Shepard said to Gaz, who had just finished the push ups.

"Uh, hello everyone. My name is Gary Smitter but call me by the name of Gaz please. Seriously, call me Gaz" He said.

Nikolai snickered. From Task Force 141, Meat laughed.

"That guy looks real ignorant!" He said to another dude next to him. Shepard looked at him.

"Since were in a talking mood today, why don't you go?" He said.

Meat shrugged.

"The names Bob Hound but of course I gotta nickname. Meat!" He said.

This caused a few others to laugh. A man next to him raised his hand, jumping up and down.

"I wanna go! Hiya, my names Worm! The real name is Hugh Thompson" He said.

Now Shepard pointed to Soap.

"The names John Mactavish, but please call me Soap" He said.

Ghost leaned over to Worm, who was next to him.

"What the hell kind of a name is Soap eh?" he asked Worm.

Worm shrugged and replied,

"How'd a muppet like him pass selection?"

Now it was Nikolai's turn.

"My names Nicholas Slavowski, Codename: Nikolai" He said.

Others just shrugged. Price stepped forward.

"My names John Price, but Captain Price to all the rest of ya!" He said.

Kamarov, who was next to Soap said,

"Umm, My name is Kamarov only" He said, stuttering a bit.

Worm snickered. What a baby!

Next, another man spoke up.

"I'm Sgt. Dean Foley" He said.

"And I'm Cpl. Freddy Dunn." The man next to him said.

"Oh and I'm James Ramirez" Another American said.

Now Griggs decided to step on in.

"My names Hubert Griggs, but please call me by my last name!" He said.

Another from Task Force 141 spoke.

"My names Peter Slandds but call me Royce" He said.

After that, Lt. Vasquez introduced himself, than a few others. After all that Shepard took charge again.

"Why don't you all go eat some dinner, while Price and I talk about some things" He said.

All the men went into the kitchen.

At the mess hall, their was only one, very long table to sit at. All of the S.A.S members sat on one side, whilst the 141 members sat on the other side. The dinner was mostly silent, and very awkward at that.

"I don't know about these guys" Gaz whispered to Griggs.

Griggs could only nod, as they all thought the same about each other. Ghost was very intimidating. He always wore his balaclava, and looked evil. All the 141 men seemed to like him, but that was beside the point. Most of the 141 men ignored the S.A.S men.

Worm was sitting a little bit aways from the crowd, and could not ignore the fact that another man, named Kamarov was sitting away too, across from his, but scooted further away.

Worm stared at the man, studying him. Kamarov, sensing something was up, looked up at Worm. Worm immediately felt his face grow red as he quickly bent his face down and stuffed the roast beef into his mouth as fast as possible. Kamarov did the same.

Soon after dinner, Shepard came in with Price by his side.

"Alright men, now why don't ye all follow me to the barracks so I can tell you who your bunk buddies are" Shepard said, holding his head high.

"Bunk buddies?" Nikolai whispered to Price. Price shrugged.

"Shepard wanted us all to bond so he assigned us all bunks with random people" He explained.

This made them all nervous.

At the barracks, all the men formed a circle around Shepard.

"Now, I will pass out a slip to all of you, and on it has the number of your bunk, and who you shall share it with" Shepard said, as he passed around slips to everyone.

Everyone looked at the slips with worry. Price suddenly breathed a sigh of relief when he realized he would be sharing a bunk with Gaz. They high fived. Griggs looked at the slip.

"Looks like I got Meat" He said, looking over.

Meat was looking at him as well. They smiled at each other in a friendly manor.

Nikolai looked at his slip.

"I got...Roach?" He said.

Roach looked up at his name. They each grinned at each other and waved crazily. Kamarov looked at his.

"I got Worm" He said.

Worm came over to him.

"Hiya bunk buddy" He said quietly, blushing.

Royce now looked at his.

"Oh, well it looks like I got Ramirez" He said, and walked over to him.

Now Freddy Dunn looked at his slip.

"I got Paul Jackson!" He said, looking around for his new bunk buddy.

Now Dean Foly looked around.

"It says here I got Lt. Vasquez" He said.

"Man it sucks for whoever has to get that dude over there" Gaz whispered to Soap, pointing to Ghost, who was leaning against a wall in the corner.

"Yeah, I feel sorry for whatever loser has so be with him" Soap whispered back, then glanced at his slip.

He gasped, as his eyes widened.

"I g-got G-Ghost!" He said, shakily.

Gaz patted his back in sympathy. Soap stared at Ghost. Ghost slowly raised his hand, and gave him the finger. Soap cowered back.

"Now I will let all of you have the rest of the night to bond with each other. Lights out at ten" Shepard said, before departing out of the room, leaving all the other men silent.

Everyone looked at one another before they all erupted in a light chatter.

**Soap POV:**

I just can't believe that I have to share a bunk with Ghost! There had to be some mistake! I went over to Price, who was talking to Gaz.

"Price, you have to help me! It says here that I have to share a bunk with Ghost!" I hissed quietly.

Price shook with silent chuckles.

"Sorry mate, we cant really help you in this situation, but your welcome to confront Shepard" He said, grinning.

I face palmed and went over to Griggs.

"Hey mate, uh how about you do me a small favor?" I asked him.

He looked up from his chat with Meat and looked at me.

"What kind of favor?" He asked.

I leaned closer to him.

"You wanna trade bunks? I uh, kinda got Ghost as a bunk buddy" I said, praying silently that he would be a nice person for once.

Griggs just pointed and laughed.

"Hell no! Jeez as much as I feel bad for ya, I would never EVER trade places with you" He said.

I groaned and went over to the bunk that I was assigned to.

I wondered if Ghost wanted the top bunk, or the bottom. I turned around to see a dark skull faced mask.

"Arrg! Oh God!" I shouted.

He had sneakily came up behind me. I saw his form shake with laughter.

"Uh, so do you want top bunk or-" I started, but when I looked back at him, he was already sitting on the bottom bunk.

"O...kay" I said, climbing onto the top bunk.

It was only nine thirty, but I was worn out from all the events, and we were doing even more intense things.

**All POV:**

It was midnight. All the men were sleeping in there bunks. The lights were off, and it was dark. Worm was in the bottom bunk, covers pulled up to his nose as he glanced around nervously. Of course nobody knew that his worst fear was the dark. He couldn't help but let out a small whimper.

"Worm?" A voice whispered from the top bunk. Worm knew that it was Kamarov.

"Y-yeah?" He whispered back.

"Are you okay?" Kamarov asked Worm, concern in his voice.

"I uh well. I'm sort of afraid of the dark" Worm confessed, shamefully.

Kamarov felt bad for Worm.

"Why don't I come down there and sleep with you, then well both be safe. I like being closer to the ground anyways." Kamarov said, as he climbed down and slipped under the covers of Worm's bed.

It was a tight squeeze, but the men then slept safe and sound together.

"Rise and shine! Ten minutes till breakfast!" Shepard screamed into the barracks.

Everyone groaned. Soap kept his eyes closed.

"Soap wake up!" Price called to him.

Soap just groaned and put the pillow over his head.

"Five more minutes!" He complained.

It was always this way with Soap on regular days.

"Crap he never likes to get up!" Griggs said to Meat.

Suddenly, they heard loud knuckles cracking behind them. They turned around and it was Ghost.

"I'll take care of this" Ghost said, in pure confidence.

He came up to were Soap was lying, and threw the covers off, then grabbed Soap's legs and threw him off the bed. Soap's eyes snapped open when his body smashed against the cold, concrete floor.

"What the?" He mumbled, then rolled his eyes and got dressed. He looked up to see Ghost, and glared at him. This was truly not working out...

At breakfast, they all sat across from each other like last night. Now, some had gotten to know there bunk buddies, and there was just a bit of chatter. Price came and sat beside Gaz, who was stuffing his face in watermelon.

"Hi Gaz, Soap! So tell me Soap, how did it go with er, Ghost?" He asked, trying to hide his laughter.

Gaz laughed too.

"Soap was thrown out of bed by Ghost! Seems there getting along just fine" He said sarcastically.

Soap just rolled his eyes.

Ghost was sitting down next to Roach and Worm. Worm looked distant, in deep thought. Roach just looked at ease.

"Hey Ghost, I'm bored!" Meat said, coming and sitting beside Worm.

"Hey Worm, wanna play eye spy?" Meat asked again, looking at Worm.

Worm didn't respond. Meat waved his hand in from of Worm's face.

"Worm!...Earth to Worm!" He shouted.

Worm jumped and looked up.

"Sorry, I must have been daydreaming" He muttered.

Ghost decided that he was bored too.

"Hey Meat, go tell the General crap that will bore him" He told Meat, who was now eager to do this.

So Meat got up, and ran to General Shepard, who was sitting down and drinking hazel nut coffee, with two creams and one sugar.

"Hi General sir, I am here to ask you a question" Meat said, in a business like tone.

Shepard sighed and looked up at the man.

"Meat, what do you want?" He asked, slowly.

"Well, I am recording down the answers for the question of the month, and I wanted to ask you" He said.

"And what question would that be?" He asked.

Meat gave a full toothy grin.

"What if someone died in the living room?" He asked.

Now, Shepard face palmed. Meat could be so puerile!

"Meat, I want you to think about this one all by yourself this time. Now go sit down with your friends, and think about it" He said.

Meat nodded and waved before going back to the table.

"The lad reminds me of a few S.A.S men" Price said, remembering Gaz, Soap, and Griggs.

"Okay, so now that we have breakfast over with, we are now all going to do some fun activities together" Price said.

He then pointed to General Shepard, who was sitting up in a balcony, a pair of binoculars in his hands.

"Shepard will be watching us all target practice and then do hand to hand combat" He said.

All the men cordially looked around, eager to start.

Sgt. Foley went over to Cpl. Dunn.

"I wanna go against you!" He said.

Nikolai was the only one besides Kamarov, that seemed nervous. He stepped close to Price.

"Uh Price? What if we are not so good at this? I am more of a Pilot you know" He whispered.

Despite his worries, Price laughed.

"Too bad Nikki. This time, no one can get you out of it" He said, patting his comrade on the back.

Nikolai was going against Roach. Roach stood a head taller than Nikolai, and by the looks of it, he was very strong, which only made Nikolai want to pee his pants. He stared at Roach, with wide eyes of fear. Roach returned the stare, but his eyes laughed as he gave a depraved grin. Nikolai gulped.

Punch after punch it was, and Nikolai took every one of them. Price walked over to him, helping a beaten Nikolai up. Gaz then asked,

"Nikolai, are you alright?"

Nikolai groaned a response, "Yes, I can still fight. Thank you for getting me out of here."

Later that day Soap was at the target arena. He aimed his M4A1 down at the targets, and shot each one perfectly. Ghost watched in approval.

"Your not that bad mate" He said. Surprised, Soap turned around.

"Let me see you try it" He said.

Ghost grinned under his mask and came over to stand beside Soap. He aimed his gun down the station, and shot each one, and was at the same rate as Soap.

"Not that bad, not that bad" Soap said.

A few days went by, and slowly, each of the men bonded. Nikolai and Roach were quite the pair, always joking. Nikolai even took Roach for a ride in his helicopter. Griggs and Meat were both clowns, always doing small pranks and annoying Shepard. Worm and Kamarov seemed to have a bond as well. Soap and Ghost, well they were making rather close friends as well. All the other men had bonded, like Royce and Ramirez.

Today, Price was walking over to the barracks holding flowers. Kamarov had asked Price to pick some up, because he was busy. Price had just gotten back from the towns gift shop, and was heading to the barracks to find Kamarov. He stepped inside, and since it was such a nice day, all the other men were out doing things, so the barracks were mostly empty.

Price heard a muffling noise, and he turned to the bunk in the corner. Kamarov and Worm's bunk. His eyes widened at what he saw. Worm was latched onto Kamarov, and they were making out in a nasty way. Price spun around, dropping the flowers, and ran out.

**Later that day...**

"Okay but seriously, if a cow laughs, does milk come out of it's nose?" Meat asked Shepard.

Shepard was sitting at a table, head down.

"Meat, listen to me and, GO AWAY!" He yelled.

It was a horrible sight. Shepard's eyes were red, and he looked very wired out. Griggs then came in.

"Hey buddy, lets go get some grub eh?" He asked Worm, and they young men linked arms and skipped out of the room.

Shepard sighed.

Meanwhile, Gaz went into the kitchen. He was craving watermelon right now, and yesterday he had bought George, his latest melon. He was so exited, and all last night he dreamed of biting into the juicy melon, eating a chunk of it, it's wonderful juice drizzling down his chin, as he licked it off. Now, his fantasy could come true.

He opened the fridge and took out the melon. It was beautiful in so many different ways. Gaz brought it out and rubbed the cold outside of the non cut melon all over his face.

"Oh George, I do love you. Did you know that you are the lucky winner? You shall be eaten by me, lucky you" He said dreamily.

Price, Soap, and Roach all watched this scene from the doorway in the kitchen.

"Is he always like this?" Roach asked in a hushed tone.

"Always" Price said, as Soap nodded.

Gaz heard the chatter and turned around.

"Oh hello guys. Don't get thinking that your going to help me eat George, cause he's all mine!" Gaz said, running out of the room with "George".

The three men just stared. Ghost walked in then, and held out something to Soap.

"Dunn said something about a bet that you two made? He said you won and to give you this" Ghost said.

He gave Soap a Reese's peanut butter cup candy bar. Soap grabbed it.

"Yes!" He screamed, and ran out of the room as well.

It was late that night, and everyone was in there dorms. Roach went down the hall, and heard a scuffling noise. It sounded like it was coming from outside. Curious, he went out. He saw a man who looked like he got hit by a truck or something. Wrinkles and sweat covered the mans head, and he wore a blue coat.

"Uh, can I help you?" Roach asked.

The man jumped, noticing him.

"Oh hello, my name is Imran Zakhaev. I'm here to talk to Price. I know him from years back" The man said.

Roach blinked for a minute then decided that the man was most likely harmless.

Roach walked back into the barrack, searching for Price. He found him talking to Gaz about wether womans unshaved legs were sexy or not.

"Um Price? Someone's here to see you" Roach said.

Price looked up.

"Who?" He asked.

"Imran something. I think it started with a Z." He explained.

Price gasped.

"Oh my god were is he?" He asked, getting up.

Roach showed him were, then went inside.

Price's eyes widened.

"Oh. My. God. Zakhaev how _ARE_ you? It's been like, 15 years since that whole 'incident' happened, which I am sorry about. How's that one arm holding up hm?" Price erupted into chatter.

Imran frowned slightly.

"Nothing that I can not handle. Oh and I have this new plan to take over America and such! But I must be going, I was just passing through" He said.

Price laughed.

"Okay Imran, I'll see you again sometime when I have to stop you from evil. So long" He said, then went back into the barracks.

**The next day..**

Ghost and Soap sat on the back of a truck. Soap had a banana, and Ghost had a Dr. Pepper. They were silent. Ghost took a swig of his drink, and studied Soap. He was very good at this you see, just being able to tell what people were feeling. Soap took a bite of his banana and chewed thoughtfully.

"Hey Ghost, look I know it's none of my business but are you hiding something? Why do you were that balaclava?" He asked.

Ghost stiffened.

"Well uh I... Okay look, there was this fat retard named Roba and he was an evil dude! He even killed my family, and before that he tortured me!" Ghost burst out.

Soap was speechless for a minute.

"I'm sorry Ghost. Want a bite of my banana?" he asked, holding it out. Ghost smirked, shaking his head.

Soon it was lunch time, and Meat walked up to his General, all cheerful and happy like usual.

"So Shepard, When night falls, who picks it up?" Meat asked.

Shepard slowly exhaled.

"Meat, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Shepard screamed, then he started pounding the walls.

They needed to set up the mess hall for the party tonight. Shepard himself was hosting it, and he was SO exited, except for the fact that Meat would be there as well, for it would be impolite to not invite all the soldiers. There would be Karaoke, food, as well as balloons!

Later that night, Nikolai, Griggs, Soap, and Gaz were getting into dress clothes for the party.

"So I was thinking" Soap started,

"That the 141 men are cool" Gaz finished.

"Not 141. We are all a team now. The Task Force awesome S.A.S people!" Griggs shouted, whooping.

They all high fived and went to the party to find there friends.

"Oh My God! Karaoke! C'mon Gaz, we have to sing!" Griggs said, grabbing Gaz by the arm, away from the crowd.

Nikolai and Roach walked over to Ghost, Foley, Dunn, and Soap.

"My friend, you must try these cupcakes. They taste like my mothers" Nikolai said, holding out one to Dunn.

Soap and Ghost made eye contact and grinned. For now, they were all the S.A.S, but most importantly, all friends. We will guess this now. Later on, will they get into trouble? Most likely yes. Now, each man having a new buddy, the trouble can only get worse. The end? NO!


	4. Macmillan Adventures

Trouble with the S.A.S Pt.4: New Macmillan adventures!

Starring: Macmillan, Price, Gaz, Soap, Griggs, Nikolai, Ghost, Meat, Roach, and many of our other cod friends! Rated T! Mostly staring Gaz in this one!

It was a sunny, bright morning on the S.A.S base. Today, the men had finished their morning workout, so it meant that the "fun" time started. Soap, Ghost, Meat, and Roach were all going on a walk. Apparently, this was Meat's idea of fun. The others had groaned, but decided to come anyway since they had nothing better to do.

They went into the woods, then into a lovely place. It was miles and miles of pure long grassy fields. They all broke out into a run, and glided/skipped through the fields, as the sun beat down. Soon, they got tired, so they walked slowly, just enjoying the fresh air.

"Hey, I was just thinking, we should have a movie night sometime! I mean, it would be cool!" Meat chattered on.

"And why would we want that Meat?" Ghost asked curiously.

Meat just shrugged.

"Well, it would be really fun! It could even be a horror movie!" He said.

Soap laughed.

"Look Meat, we are not civvies, we do not get scarred by horror movies. The only fun thing to do at night, would be to take Gaz's hat and put on a face mask, then go to Price and punch him, so he thinks it's Gaz" He said.

"Hey now we should try that sometime!" Roach said.

Meat erupted into laughter as he still walked forward. He suddenly jumped back, a yelp escaping from his trap. Everyone stopped to stare at him.

"It was squishy!" He whined.

The rest rolled their eyes and started to walk forward. Meat walked forward again, stepping in the same spot, when suddenly, something hard whacked his knee cap. Meat howled in pain and fell to the ground. Everyone stared at him, when they then heard a voice.

"Oi, Suzi! You stepped on my head!" A highly Scottish accented voice said.

It came from the ground.

"Oh my god, something just hit me!" Meat said, rubbing his knee cap.

"What the crap? What was it? It came from the ground!" Soap said, dazed.

Ghost stepped over to the lump in the grass and kicked it.

"Are you daft? Quit hurting me!" The same voice yelled again.

"What the-who are you?" Roach asked.

The lump of grass stood up, and you could see a sniper in the thing's hands. The thing held a wooden cane, the thing that Meat got whacked with.

Everyone jumped back.

"Why hello young laddys! Go by the name of Captain Macmillan. This is my Ghillie suit." He said.

Now everyone was just shocked. Soap decided to step in now.

"And why are you here?"

Macmillan smiled under the suit.

"I was looking for someone. By any chance, do you know a Price?" he asked.

Meat's mouth dropped open. "You-what-Price-huh?"

Ghost stepped in. "Do you want to see him? Captain Price is at the base. Come if you would like to."

They heard an impressed whistle.

"My my. So Price is a Captain now eh?" Macmillan said, clearly impressed.

On the way back, you could tell that Macmillan's leg was all messed up. He used the cane to support most of his right side. You could tell that something had happened to his leg. The man was old, and he looked pretty dumb in his Ghillie suit. He followed all the men back to the base, struggling to keep up. Meat grabbed a stick on the ground, and held it near himself protectively, as he was still scared of the Ghillie suited man.

At the base, Gaz was walking back from the kitchen, because he had just finished some watermelon. That meant he was happy. He was almost to the barracks, when he saw a few of his friends, Soap, Meat, Ghost, Roach, and a lump of over sized grass. Wait, he wasn't friends with a lump of grass! Gaz ran forward and saw the thing.

"Hey guys um whats with the grass?" He asked.

"Oh this is Captain Macmillan. He knows Price from awhile back. We found him in the field." Soap explained.

"Literally, in it" Meat said.

Well now this was weird. Gaz stood for a moment, before running top speed away, towards the barracks.

**Gaz POV: **

"Price, PRICE!" I screamed, running into the barracks.

I smashed into him as he walked out of the bathroom.

"Jeezus Gaz what?" Price said to me, irritated.

I gasped for air.

"We need a weed whacker pronto!" I said.

Price's brow furrowed.

"Gaz what on earth is it this time?" He asked, but we were interrupted when Soap, Ghost, Meat, and Roach walked in with a man in a Ghillie suit.

The man reminded me of a dirty old swamp butt.

"Price, this man says he knows you. His names Macmillan" Soap said.

Price's eyes widened.

"Captain Macmillan! I-It's you! I can't believe it! How are you? I see the canes helping the leg problem!" Price said, exited.

He was literally bouncing on his feet.

"I hear your a Captain lad! I always knew the training would pay off" Macmillan said.

So Price was trained by this heap of mush?

"You have to stay here for a bit Captain! We have an extra bed and everything! C'mon lets go talk!" Price said, going out of the room, arm linked with one of Macmillan's.

I turned to the other men. "That was really weird. I'm gonna go eat a watermelon" I said.

And that was exactly what I did.

**Price POV:**

I was just 'oh so happy' to see my former Captain! It's been like 15 years! It was grand!

"Well Price, I never thought I'd see you again lad. Your squad looks very good. You have done well" Macmillan said.

I nodded. "They are something. Great at war, but hard to look after at base. Always need to keep them busy."

That was exactly how I felt about them too, but I still cared about each of them greatly.

**All POV: **

At dinner, Gaz came walked to the mess hall to sit at the table in his usual spot, next to Price. He stopped dead when he saw the Macmillan man, still in his suit thing, in HIS spot.

"Price, what the hell?" He asked, coming over.

Price looked up.

"Sorry Gaz, you can find another seat right? Macmillan is only here for a limited time, and I need to talk to him. It's been so long" Price said, not at all sorry.

Gaz huffed and made his way over to a spare seat next to Soap.

"Hi Soap" He said.

Soap quickly glanced over to him with a quick 'hi' before turning back to Ghost to talk with him about something. Gaz sighed in anger. He was angry at Price, and a little hurt too.

**Griggs POV:**

Meat and I went over to Shepard. Meat had something in mind. Shepard was sitting eating steak, and drinking coffee with two creams and one sugar.

"Hi Shepard" Meat said, grinning.

Shepard glanced up and sighed. We always did this daily, and he hated it.

"What the hell do you want Meat?" He asked.

"If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, then would it be called bullshit?" He asked.

Shepard did his daily fist pounding on the table, before going into his mental attack.

"I do NOT not know, nor do I WANT to! Get away!" He screamed.

Meat still smiled.

"Yes sir!" He said, and him and Griggs walked away.

**All POV: **

It was later in the day when Price looked outside, which he had to do a lot. Good, all the men were playing baseball. Hopefully, they would for awhile. Price wanted to hang out with Macmillan. Macmillan was very old, perhaps in his 70's but he was still just as active. He always used his suit, and never took it off.

Meanwhile, in the field, all the men were playing baseball. Gaz, Roach, Nikolai, Worm, and Dunn were on one team, whilst Foley, Vasquez, Soap, Ghost and Kamarov were on another. The rest were watching and getting fowl balls. Waiting to bat, Gaz went up to Roach, a man whom he knew he could trust.

"Roach, at dinner, Macmillan sat in my seat, and Price didn't even care" I said to him.

Roach looked over.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Macmillan is his friend though, as well as former Captain. Besides, Macmillan is only staying for a few days, how bad can it get?" He asked.

"I guess your right, It can't get that bad" Gaz agreed.

But they were wrong. Very wrong.

Later that night, Gaz was all comfy in bed, thinking about Macmillan. Price had finished saying goodnight to the Ghillied man, and climbed into his bunk.

"Gaz, tomorrow need you to get a sniper ready and polished for Macmillan. Were going to practice target shooting." Price said.

Gaz rolled his eyes.

"Sure, but why can't the old man do it himself?" He asked sarcastically.

"Gaz! How disrespectful! And to think you were taught by me! Macmillan is a higher rank than you! Were both Captains, and you need to start treating him like one!" Price scolded him.

Gaz closed his eyes in shame, and muttered, "Sorry" then the two went to bed.

The next morning, Gaz woke up extra early, and went to the gun room. He picked out a Desert camouflage sniper, and polished it quickly, then laid it on the table. He then went go grab some breakfast. He saw only Shepard in the mess hall.

"Morning Shepard. Do me a favor and tell Price that I'm going shopping for Watermelon would you? Gaz asked.

Shepard nodded, so Gaz left.

**Gaz POV: **

I hopped into a truck, and sped down to the local supermarket. I just needed to get out, and get a watermelon. At the store, I sat down by the melon stand, holding a melon. I stroked it's skin, then held it like a child.

I soon went to go pay for my watermelon, then I sat with Tim, the worker, and ate it while I spilled all of my problems to him. Soon, time flew by and it was three thirty. I had paid and eaten six melons, and some nachos and cheese.

"See you later Tim, and thanks for hanging with me!" I said, before departing out of the room.

When I got home, I parked the truck and went inside to the shooting range. It was empty thankfully, so I got my AK-47 and shot for all I was worth. Which is a lot in my book.

"Hey Lt. Gaz, were all out of targets. Come back tomorrow when their will be some new ones" Lootze said.

He was the man who made sure all targets were there, and he made them. I sighed and went out.

Two hours had passed so it was about six, so I went to the mess hall to eat.

When I got there, not to my surprise, Macmillan was still in my seat. I only sighed, and sat with Nikolai and Griggs.

"My friend, do not be so down" Nikolai said, patting my back.

"YES Nikolai I will be down! I have almost lost my best friend, to a 70 year old grass covered old loser!" I said, raising my fist, threatening to punch him.

He shrunk back, and continued to eat his mashed potatoes. That was when a great idea came to me! I could win Price's attention by doing something amazing! A stunt move!

"Nikolai, we need Soap, Griggs, Ghost, and Meat, as well as yourself! We are gonna do something amazing! Oh, and tell Meat to bring his video camera." I said.

This would be good!

**Soap POV:**

Gaz told me to come and meet him in one of the extra rooms. I was here, along with Meat, Ghost, Griggs, and Nikolai.

"Uh, hi Gaz. What's up?" I asked.

Gaz smiled like he'd won the lottery or something.

"I am going to do something amazing, something epic, and you guys are going to help me" Gaz said.

Something about his smug tone, told me this wasn't going to end well.

"YOUR GOING TO WHAT?" I screamed, after Gaz explained his idea.

He smiled widely.

"I told you, I'm going to jump off the cliff, and do a three backflip stunt move, then land in the water." He said.

Everyone's mouth was agape while I tried to reason with him.

"Look Gaz, really it's late October, you'll freeze your arse off in that water! And I have never even seen you do a backflip! Your gonna get hurt if you do this mate!" I advocated.

He just shook his head.

"All we have to do is videotape it, and show it to Price, then he will know I'm the toughest, and the best!" Gaz declared.

"And you don't tell him about it! That's and order, and I rank higher than you!" He added on.

I sighed. This would be too much trouble.

**All POV:**

When everyone got to the cliff, it was already cold. Gaz wore only shorts and a tee.

"Did you bring a blanket or towel?" Griggs asked.

Gaz smiled.

"No, I am going to run all the way back." He said.

Meat held his camera, ready to film on Gaz's signal. Gaz stood on the edge of the cliff. The waters looked deathly black below, and the sun was setting, taking away the last bit of warmth.

"Gaz careful, stay away from the rock areas" Nikolai said.

Gaz looked over.

"What rock areas?" He asked, but suddenly, he wobbled.

"Gaz!" Soap shouted, but it was too late.

Gaz had accidentally fallen, and there were rocks in the area where he was. They ran to the edge of the cliff, to see Gaz hit the water, hard near the rocks. Soap and Ghost were on it, and jumped into the good part of the water. It was very cold, but that didn't stop them. They swam over to were Gaz was. He was near the shore, and didn't look good.

"Gaz, are you alright?" Ghost asked.

Gaz nodded.

"I-I think so, god my arm hurts like hell though," He said.

"Can you stand?" Soap asked.

Gaz tried, but failed. Soap looked up to where Meat, Nikolai, and Griggs were looking.

"Go get Price! Gaz is hurt!" Soap shouted.

Meat ran away to go do that. Ghost and Soap supported Gaz up the hill that led up to the others.

Meat ran at top speed, stumbling against the brush. He got to the barracks five minutes later. Price, Price, Price, He thought, running toward Price's office. When he got there, the door was closed so he kicked it in, making the door crack and split. Price was sitting cozily by the fire, looking at files or something. He looked up when Meat entered.

"Price...Gaz...bad...now!" He panted.

Price stood and came over.

"Now, now. Did Gaz use your bed sheets for a towel again? Well fix it" He said, trying to calm the man down.

Meat shook his head.

"NO! Look, we were hanging around at the cliff and Gaz fell toward the rock area, and he's hurt! Quickly!" Meat said.

Price gasped, and grabbed a blanket, and followed Meat, running even faster though.

When they got there, they saw Gaz sitting up holding his arm. He looked pale, and was shivering.

"Gaz! What happened?" Price shouted, running over.

Gaz grinned slightly.

"Nothing to bad, what's up?" He asked, trying to sound casual.

Price chuckled. "Gaz, let me see your arm."

"Which one?" Gaz asked.

Price rolled his eyes and made a move to grab the arm Gaz was holding.

"No! I mean, it's fine" Gaz said. Price folded his arms.

"Alight then...stand" Price said.

Gaz shrugged.

"I guess I don't feel like standing" He said, teeth chattering.

He was shaking from the cold. Price draped the blanket over Gaz's shoulders. Gaz hugged it himself tighter.

"Give it up Gaz, c'mon lets go fix that arm and get you to bed mate" Price said.

He motioned for Soap and Ghost to help him support Gaz, as they went back to the barracks.

Price and the rest brought Gaz to a room.

"Sit here" Price said to Gaz, motioning to a table.

Meat helped Gaz onto it. Price got the med-kit and took a hold of Gaz's arm, making Gaz gasp.

"Oooooh Gaz sounds hurt!" Meat laughed.

Gaz glared at him.

"Shut UP Meat!" He yelled.

Ghost laughed along with Meat. Gaz whipped his foot out and kicked Ghost in the shin, because Ghost was the closest.

"OW!" Ghost yelled, holding his shin and moving further away.

"Enough teasing" Price said.

"Mmm this is defiantly broken Gaz, we'll have to wrap it and put you in a sling. The medics will be here in a few days, and they will take some x-rays."

Gaz coughed while Price wrapped his arm.

"Oh, Griggs get some bed clothes for Gaz" Price commanded.

Soon Gaz was in bed. He looked flushed in the face.

"Soap, take his temp, I'll be back sometime. I wanna hang with Macmillan" Price said, going out of the room.

Soap handed Gaz the thermometer. Gaz shoved it into his mouth, getting grouchy about his spoiled plan. It was still the same! Price came back a second before it beeped. He took it and glanced at it.

"It seems you are impaired Gaz. Take these" He said, handing Gaz some pills.

Gaz took them and his eyes drooped. All the men quietly left.

"Go find something do do, but I forbid you to leave the base. We have had quite the lot of trouble." Price said sternly.

The men went somewhere, god only knows were. Price went to find Macmillan.

"Aye laddy good to see you. What happened?" Macmillan asked.

Price laughed.

"I told you before, these men can be trouble. My right hand man, Gaz, decided to try to do some stunt move off a cliff. He broke his arm, and is sick" Price explained.

Macmillan laughed. "You sure have some interesting people here. Gaz is quite the lad," He appraised.

Price laughed.

**Gaz POV: **

The next day was a freaking mess! My arm hurt, my head hurt, and it was too hot, but worst of all, I HAD TO STAY IN BED! A-and I d-didn't even g-get to eat a watermelon! Kamarov baked some cookies and I was not allowed to have any. And worst yet, Soap had to care for me, while Price hung with Macmillan.

I could tell Soap didn't like it, perhaps it was because I threw some of my stash of old dusty watermelon grinds at his head, or maybe because I called him a useless wanker who had nothing better to do with his life except to torment those souls in hell, or it could be just because he's bored. Worm brought me flowers though. They smelt good, despite the fact, I threw them at his face and threatened to give him a wedgie.

Macmillan and Price came into the room, I was being held hostage in.

"Hello Gaz, hows the arm?" Price asked.

I glared at him, using my worst ever, 'I'm gonna kill you' eyes.

"Oh I'm just fine, Price. Just fine. I have chosen to ignore the fact that I can't eat watermelon, I have to only drink hot tea, and that I have to deal with Soap talking to me every hour!" I practically shouted.

I was inflamed by Macmillan and Price.

"Aye, this one's gotta real temper" Macmillan said.

Now I wanted to punch him.

"Okay now listen here, I DON'T FREAKING HAVE A TEMPER! ARG!" I screamed loud, then leapt out of bed, and ran out of the room.

"Gaz you stop right now and get back to bed!" Price shouted, running after me.

I stopped suddenly, causing him to bolt past me and run into the brick wall. I laughed crazily. Price grabbed my good arm. I could tell he was creeped out, and concerned for me, but I didn't give a crap. Macmillan is going down!

"Alright now Gaz, just stay in bed." Price told me, covering me up with the dumb blanket.

I growled, and reached down for one of my watermelon grinds and chucked it at Macmillan. It hit him right in the face! His face scrunched up and I laughed.

"Oi suzi! You hit me in the head!" He said, waving his cane at me.

I laughed. They soon left.

**All POV: **

Two days of pure rage later, Gaz could get up from bed, as the only thing that hurt him now was his arm. He was fed up with Macmillan, and today, we was just pure angry. Macmillan had eaten a piece of his watermelon! He had come up to Gaz saying,

"Ooo, that looks good!" He grabbed the piece and ate it in one bite.

"Mmm, that was good! This watermelon is tasty! MmmMmm, I can feel the hair on my chest growin' already."

Gaz went into a fit of rage.

"MY WATERMELON!" He ripped the chewed up rind from Macmillan's hand, and heaved it out the window.

It trailed juice and spit.

"Now you listen to me! If I don't get to sit next to Price tonight, I will rip your ghillie suit right off your body! Then I'll shove it down your throat! And then feed it to you again! WITH A FORK!" Gaz huffed furiously, panting with rage.

Macmillan could only lower his head.

"Well... If that's how ya really feel about me laddie... I'll be on my way. Goodbye Captain Price. I can see I'm not wanted here." Macmillan grabbed his cane and began to limp out, but was stopped when the door burst open.

There, in all his glory, holding a chewed and nasty watermelon rind, red mark on his forehead, was General Shepard.

"LT. GAZ!" Gaz shrunk back.

"Yes sir?" He said weakly.

"200 push ups for this disrespectfulness! And 79 squats!"

"Why 79?" Gaz tried to ask, but Shepard yelled, "DO IT!"

Gaz dropped and began the punishment. Shepard then threw the melon rind at Gaz's head with great force, then calmly walked out. Gaz sighed and got to work. Macmillan looked around for a minute.

"I'm sorry Gaz. I know that your one of Price's best friends, and you two have been through a lot together. It was wrong of me to intrude like that. Tonight is my last night anyway. I want to have a word with Soap anyway."

Soap looked scared now.

"Why me?" He said, backing up a step. "I hear your quite the sharpshooter lad. Price tells me your his designated marksman!"

Soap blushed.

"Oh, haha, yeah... You know." Soap said all embarrassed now.

Gaz had now finished his exercise.

"Wow, thanks grassy! I love you!" Gaz pulled Macmillan into a hug.

Everyone began to applaud. The base was back to normal again. Macmillan left, but perhaps sometime again he would visit.

**Shepard POV: **

I sat in a dark room, candles lit and melting all around me. I sliced my hand open with a knife, and shakily used my own blood to draw a pentagram in the middle of the floor. I kneeled in the middle of it and wrapped my hand. Then I prayed a chant from the black book in front of me.

"Make haste my gods. If I shalt not be rid of Bob "Meat" Hound soon, thy sins shalt not be foretold by thee." I closed my eyes. "I ask of thee please! Shalt thou strike a deathly blow to him? Or just send him away from thyself? Please! PLEASE!"

THE END? NOT A CHANCE!


	5. The madness of jokes

**a/n: Hey guys, better format now!**

Trouble with the S.A.S Pt. 5:

Starring: Shepard, Meat, Griggs, Soap, Ghost, Roach, and many of our other friends from cod!

**All POV:**

It was a normal day on the S.A.S base. Everyone was doing normal things, like target shooting, gun polishing, and running. Well, everyone except Soap and Ghost. They were mopping the mess hall, orders by Price because they were not so good behaving last night.

"Wow Ghost, we never should have tried to put whip cream on Price's face!" Soap said.

Ghost just nodded. Price came in then, and stood, arms crossed, as he observed them working.

"Hi Price, have a good breakfast?" Ghost asked.

Price just looked at him.

Meanwhile, Meat had just finished running and wanted some lemonade. He went into the kitchen, to discover Shepard there, making his hazel nut coffee with two creams and one sugar.

"SHEPARD! How are you! I've missed you this past day! I tried to wave but you didn't see me. It's almost like you tried to ignore me" He said in realization.

"Er, Meat I have to go" Shepard said quickly, forgetting the coffee, and hastily tried to retreat to the next room.

"Wait sir! You forgot your coffee! Oh and I have something to ask you!" He said.

Shepard was about to bust the wall with his fists.

"ARG NO MEAT! I have to go!" He said, but it wasn't enough warning for Meat.

"Why do people say an alarm clock goes 'off' if it stays on?" He asked.

Shepard face palmed.

"Meat, can you hear me out on something?" Shepard calmly and nicely asked.

"Yes sir?" Meat said, getting close right up to Shepard's face.

"GO AWAY NOW! I NEVER WANT TO HEAR YOU ASK THESE! GET OUT!" Shepard screamed.

Meat blinked for a moment, as if he was trying to comprehend what Shepard just said.

"Okay sir, but one more thing. Seriously, what is the answer?" He asked, grinning.

Shepard's hands started to shake.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed, and ran out, leaving Meat laughing.

"Price, wanna watch me eat my newest watermelon?" Gaz asked, coming into the mess hall.

He stopped dead when he saw Soap and Ghost.

"Oh, is this the punishment for last night? It was quite funny if you ask me" Gaz laughed.

Price walked out with Gaz, whilst the two other men scowled.

Later that night, was a movie night, that Meat had insisted on. Griggs, Gaz, Soap, Ghost, and Roach sat in beanbag chairs near the flat screen. Nikolai, Foley, Dunn, Ramirez, and Vasquez took the big couch. Kamarov and Worm shared the love seat, as well as a blanket. Price sat in a chair in the corner, and now they were waiting for Nikolai to come back with the snacks.

When Nikolai did come back, he gave Gaz his watermelon, and the rest of them, cookies. For Price and himself, he got a bag of popcorn. Nikolai gave Price his popcorn bag. Price was about to open it, but then stopped. He slowly brought his face to the bag, and sniffed three times.

"Nikolai, what did you put in this popcorn?" Price asked slowly, but in a deathly tone of pure evil.

Nikolai gulped.

"Um, just some parmesan cheese sir" Nikolai said, backing up.

"I hate parmesan cheese" Price growled.

Nikolai turned a deathly pale.

"Hey, save it for later, the movies about to start" Griggs said.

They all turned their attention to the screen, as Foley turned the lights off. Just then, Shepard walked in. He had wanted to watch the scary movie. He stopped dead when he heard a voice behind him.

"Oooh! I wanna watch it too! I call sitting next to Shepard!" Meat said happily.

Shepard slowly breathed in and out.

"Meat, only if you keep your fucking mouth shut!" He snapped.

Meat saluted and happily skipped next to his general. They both sat on a couch. Meat scooted close to Shepard, smiling.

"Hey buddy!" He whispered.

Shepard face palmed.

They were watching The Wrong Turn for a movie, and it was quite scary too. Soap had to close his eyes and look away from a scene, numerous times. He jumped too, and avoided Ghost's smirk. They all watched with wide eyes, as the formidable scenes appeared on the flat screen.

"Ha, this is one fucked up movie" Gaz said to Price, nudging him.

Price nodded, mouth dropped open as he watched the creepy cannibals kill people. Of course Soap told nobody, but he was very terrified right now. Ghost could tell so, and he smirked at times when he saw his best friends fear.

Nikolai and Roach laughed a couple of times, at the gory things. They took it like every normal man would. Shepard was bored, and was planning to make a quick move to run to his room before Meat could have any attempt to follow him. Kamarov and Worm were cuddling under the blanket, not being scarred because they were in each others arms.

When the movie was over, Shepard made a quick retreat, and Meat was so sleepy, that he made no attempt to follow him. Price looked at all his soldiers and stood up, clapping his hands together to get attention.

"All right everyone, wash up and go to bed! We have some training to do tomorrow, and I'm only lettin' you sleep in for an extra hour" He said.

All the men slowly got up, and went to the shower room.

Only twenty minutes later, everyone was in their bunks, the light turned out. Everyone was asleep except for Soap and Ghost. Soap was starring into the dark, scarred out of his mind. He thought he would never go to sleep. Ghost, hearing the sound of his friend move, a sign that he was awake, smiled.

"Hey Soap" He whispered, "Be careful, that those cannibals don't eat ya, oh and keep your eyes open, you remember that part right?" He asked.

Soap was still scared, but rather uptight at his friend as well.

"Well they will come for you first, cause your on the bottom!" He said. Now Ghost tensed up. He had just made the ultimate mistake of scaring himself.

Both men were silent for a minute, super scarred. Then, at the same time, Soap looked down at Ghost, as Ghost looked up at Soap, and they both screamed. Neither of the men got any sleep that night.

The next morning, Shepard made his way to the mess hall, for breakfast. He sat down with his coffee: two creams and one sugar, and took a bight of doughnut while reading the newspaper.

"Hey General! Morning! Did you sleep good?" A voice, that Shepard recognized, and hated said.

Shepard slowly brought down his newspaper.

"Fine Meat. Why don't you go eat something" He suggested, eager to make the annoying kid leave?

No, this did not work though.

"It's okay, I wanna ask you something" Meat said.

Shepard squeezed his eyes shut.

'He's not here, he's not here. He disappeared and is never coming back. Not here,' he thought to himself.

"What?" He asked, between clenched teeth.

"If a fly has no wings, do we call him a walk?" Meat asked.

Shepard took his mug, and threw it against the wall, screaming bloody murder. Meat covered his ears and shouted,

"Does this mean you don't know?" He shouted above Shepard's noise.

As the rest of the men came to the mess hall, they didn't notice Shepard and Meat, except Griggs, who went over to his buddy, pulling him away, laughing. Nikolai and Roach walked in. Nikolai noticed what the breakfast was.

"DOUGHNUTS! YES, QUICK ROACH, LETS GET THE GOOD ONES BEFORE MORE PEOPLE COME IN!" He screamed, pulling Roach over to the table.

In the barracks, Price was over looking all the men go out. He stopped when he came to the last two men left, Soap and Ghost. Both were still asleep in their bunks.

"Hey you too, rise and shine. Everyone woke up ten minutes ago. There all in the mess hall, eating a treat. Doughnuts" Price said to them, trying to bribe them into getting up.

Ghost opened his eyes and groaned. His shades were nice and dark, and even though the balaclava covered his face, you could tell he was tuckered out. Soap had bags under his eyes, and rubbed them, sitting up.

"Looks like no more movie night for you too, now hustle and get to breakfast" Price said, leaving the room.

Soap and Ghost looked at each other. They both got into loose T-shirts and cargo pants. Ghost put on a lighter shade of sunglasses, and slipped them on, so you could see his blue eyes under them, and it matched his black shirt. Soap was in tan/green shirt. Both left the room, tired as hell.

"Alright, were going to be going over some basic fighting strategies, so listen up" Price said, going off into detail of what to do when surrounded and out numbered.

Soap had his face, rested in his hand. He didn't even hear most of what Price was saying, starting to nod off. He felt something hard hit him in the face. He jerked out of sleep, and looked at the watermelon grind that had smacked his face. It was Gaz, sitting across from him. Gaz waved, and mouthed wake up to him. Soap nodded sleepily, waving but being cut off by a huge yawn.

"And that's about it. Now all of ya, get to work!" Price shouted.

Soap had no idea what they were doing, but he just followed the others.

"Hey Worm, what are we doing?" He asked one of his chums.

Worm smiled.

"Were gonna practice sniping, and if we do well today, then tomorrow, we get to have our own miniature battle! Using paintball guns!" Worm said, smiling.

Soap smiled too at this. They rarely had these, but when they did it was fun. The whole army was put into two teams, and you paint balled each other, just like real war. All of them loved it.

The day went by just fine. At about four o' clock, all of the men went into the lounge to watch some football and have the package of Pepsi, that they had found under Shepard's bed, or Meat had anyway. Soap and Ghost passed out on the floor. Price came in, after sniffling Pepsi with that sensitive nose of his. When he saw Soap and Ghost, he chucked and shook his head. He would talk to them after dinner.

At dinner, everyone ate roast chicken and broccoli, along with onion chips. Gaz turned to Price.

"Uh, hey Price?" He asked.

Price looked up, knowing what was coming. Price had told the cooks to take Gaz's usual piece of watermelon off his plate, because doctors were concerned that Gaz was digesting too much watermelon too soon.

"Yes, Gaz?" He asked. Gaz was frowning.

"Were is my watermelon? I told the cooks to always make sure that it was here" He said.

Price smiled sadly at his best friend.

"Look mate, I'm real sorry, but the doctors were concerned that you are eating too much melon. They say it just isn't healthy, and you need to cut back. Only one piece a day" Price told him.

Gaz froze, as his eye twitched.

"W-what? No. No, no, no, no, NO!" He screamed, banging his fist on the table.

This caused everyone to stare. Gaz then rolled off the seat and started whacking his fists on the floor, and kicked his legs like a child having a temper tantrum, screaming. Price stood and looked around wildly, not knowing how to stop this tantrum.

"Gaz, enough right now, or it'll only be half a piece a day!" He shouted over Gaz's shrieking wales of anger.

Right after Price said that, Gaz stopped abruptly and sat down. Price sighed in relief.

"Gaz, it's all right, just keep yourself busy" Price said.

Gaz didn't make eye contact with him, looking at his dinner angrily. Price knew that he would have to sort things out with Gaz.

Dinner was slow and dull for Gaz, but for Meat, well it was wild. He danced around Shepard, with Griggs by his side.

"Shepard, wanna watch Tv with me? Shepard, Does the moon really have a face, or is it made of cream cheese? I like cream cheese! Shepard! Shepard! Shepard!" Was what Meat said, following him around the mess hall.

Shepard stopped suddenly and turned around.

"WHAT?" He screamed.

It was a terrible sight. Shepard's eyes had red veins showing, and had black bags under them, with crust leaking out of the edges. He was shaking out of rage.

"What date to you estimate that it's gonna snow?" Meat asked softly.

Shepard looked at Meat for a moment, then smiled. It was no normal smile, it looked rather like he was possessed, or mad or something. Shepard's breathing was rapid, and he slowly breathed in and out.

"Well Meat let me think about that all right?" He asked.

Meat nodded.

"Now GO!" Shepard shouted.

Meat saluted, and went with Griggs, outside.

"Let's play football!" Griggs shouted. Meat eagerly agreed.

They gathered up everyone except Price and Shepard, and played a long hard game of it. Gaz didn't want to play, so he sat and watched. He was to bummed to do anything, for all he wanted was a watermelon.

Soap and Ghost were still tired, but the nap had helped each of them. Price then came out of the building, and called them in. They both looked at each other, before going to their captain. Price beckoned them inside his office, where they sat in two chairs across from his desk.

"Now listen to me you too. Did you catch any wink of sleep last night?" Price asked them.

"N-no sir" Soap answered honestly.

Ghost sighed. Price looked at them both.

"Why?" He asked.

"It was Ghost's fault! He's the one who said it!" Soap burst out.

"No! You no it was all your fault! Your the one that said things back!" Ghost yelled back.

"All right, all right! Enough! Now listen, you too will get a full nigh sleep tonight for the fake battle tomorrow, or so help me, I'll disqualify you both!" Price scolded.

Now both the men froze.

"No please! Okay we both promise not to fight, or stay awake!" They said.

Price thought about this, then nodded.

"Okay, now both of ya hit the showers, and go to bed!" He said.

They rushed out.

"Those two" Price chuckled to himself.

Later that night, all the men had taken showers, and were getting into bed. Soap and Ghost were in bed then.

"Ghost, I'm still scared" Soap whispered.

"Me too" Ghost said back. That was when Price came to them.

"Here, use these. They play music so you can concentrate on something else" He said, handing them mp3 players.

Ghost turned it on, and a slow, nice song came on. Both men smiled, and got a good nights sleep.

The next morning, everyone woke up early. Today, they were to have there own miniature battle, using paintball guns. They were to eat a quick breakfast, then report to the field across the base, were they would split up teams and then, fight!

"All right men, listen up, and I'll tell you who is on team one, then team two" Shepard said.

Everyone stared at him. The man looked like a total wreck! Like he was wasted from a party or something.

"Team one: Me, Ghost, Roach, Soap, Price, M-m-Meat, and Nikolai. And now for Team two: Royce, Dunn, Griggs, Foley, Vasquez, Ramirez, Kamarov, and Worm, along with Gaz." Shepard said.

"Now all get your guns and team one start to the West, two start at East. The battle starts" He said.

Everyone started cheering and went to the center to pick out different guns.

Soon, after the teams picked out hiding places, they went towards the center, into a rock infested field, so you could take cover. Team one made there way to the field.

"Okay, I think we should do a sneak attack, but in two different places" Price said.

"How do we do that?" asked Meat.

"Well, I'll go with Soap, and go around to the back of their fort, then we'll take them out and go for the center, were we will win!" Price explained.

"Yes, that sound good. Other people will be along the sides of the forest, looking for weak points. Permission to take Roach and go take them out?" Ghost asked.

"Permission granted" Price said.

"I'll go and meet you after your finished. The rest of you stay, guard, and fight off others who come" Shepard said.

Soap and Price made there way over around to the back of the fort. There, they saw Dunn and Foley keeping guard, sitting on a rather large boulder.

"Okay on three, we'll take them out. You take the one on the left" Price said.

Soap nodded, and aimed with his Rap4 at Dunn.

"Three...two...one.." Price counted down.

At one, He fired and got Dunn right between the shoulder blades, and again on the arse, sending the man down. Same happened to Foley.

"C'mon lets go do this!" Price said.

Meanwhile, Ghost and Roach were traveling along the edges of the field border, looking for the guards. Ghost then saw Gaz, slowly walking down along the sides, nervous looking. That was most likely because of two things. One was because he was alone, the other was that he was probably missing his watermelon.

"Hey Roach, watch this" Ghost said.

Ghost then leaned down and pointed his gun at Gaz. He fired once, and it was a clean shot, straight to the balls. Gaz screamed and fell to the ground. Ghost and Roach burst into laughter, and ran away past Gaz, who way now laying down, moaning quietly.

"Hiya Shepard!" Meat said, grinning as he came up to his General.

Shepard looked at Meat, and just stared at him, no emotion or senses on his face whatsoever.

"When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?" Meat asked.

That snapped the belt. Shepard turned around to Meat, a wild glare in his eyes.

"Meat, why don't we go for a little walk" He said.

Shepard knew now, that his life sucked, and he needed to do something about it.

**Shepard's POV:**

I walked just a bit away from the fort, Meat by my side. Then, I turned around and faced him.

"Meat, you do know, that I hate you. Really I do. It's too bad that it has to end like this" I said, as I raised my paintball machine gun at him.

Meat held his hands up to me.

"Wait what? No please!" He begged, but that didn't stop me.

After a few minutes, leaving Meat on the ground, I picked up my radio. I needed to contact someone.

"Hello? What do you want?" Kiril asked me.

Kiril was a ultranationalist who worked for Makarov.

"Hello Kiril, I need your help. I do understand how you work for Makarov, but I need help. I hate it here, my soldiers are crazy, and suck. I am going to take them down. You with me?" I asked.

It was silent for a moment.

"Look Shepard, you know I work for Makarov. He would hate for me to join you, even if it's against your own men. How do I know that you don't lie right now?" He asked.

"Because I swear, I fucking hate these men! Constantly one bum-bards me with dumb questions, another loves melon, and another wears a dumb face mask, and many others do crazy things! Look, I need your help NOW!" I shouted.

"All right. Where do I meet you? I'll bring Viktor along too" He said.

I smiled.

**All POV:**

Soap and Price had made good timing, and were now headed back to the base, to see how the rest did. On the way, they heard a moaning noise. They came upon Gaz, laying down.

"Gaz?" Price asked.

Gaz looked up.

"I-I got shot in the balls!" He wailed.

Price and Soap both laughed, noticing the blue paint right where he got shot. Soap raised his gun at Gaz again. Gaz saw and his eyes widened.

"Wait Soap! No!" He shouted, but it was to late, as Soap shot Gaz in the balls again. Poor Gaz.

The two men still headed back, but this time, they came across their own team mate on the ground. The sight was terrible. Meat laid in the ground, covered head to toe in paint.

"Meat what happened?" Soap asked, as they ran to him.

Meat raised his hand and shuddered.

"T-turn around w-while you still can" He said, and his head dropped to the ground. Both other men looked at each other.

"Meat, who did this to you?" Price asked.

Meat opened his eyes again.

"Sh-Shepard" He whispered.

Soap was startled.

"But he's on our team! He betrayed us!" Soap shouted.

Price thought for a moment.

"Wasn't he going to meet Ghost and Roach?" He asked.

Soaps eyes widened.

"We gotta warn them!" He said, picking up his walkie-talkie and handing it to Price.

"Ghost! Come in this is Price! Don't trust Shepard, I repeat don't trust Shepard! He's a traitor! Come in!" He shouted into it.

A few minutes before that message, Ghost and Roach were walking to the location point were they would meet Shepard. When they got there, they saw Shepard standing a few feet away.

"Did you take down some of the other team?" He asked Ghost.

"We did sir" Ghost replied.

Shepard spoke again.

"Good, thats one loose end" He said, then pointed his gun, and shot Roach point blank in the chest with paint.

Gasping, Roach fell.

"NO!" Ghost screamed, making an attempt to raise his gun to stop Shepard, but Shepard just shot Ghost in the chest without even looking.

Ghost fell to the ground too, as Shepard shot them each again. Ghost's walkie talkie buzzed.

"Ghost! Come in this is Price! Don't trust Shepard, I repeat don't trust Shepard! He's a traitor! Come in!" Price's worried voice shouted.

Ghost rolled his eyes. He sighed and laid back down. He couldn't wait to sleep tonight. Shepard just walked away.

**Soap's POV:**

This was really bad! Price and I were running through the woods in the direction that we thought he would most likely run to, but we still had no idea were the man had gone to.

"Hello Price, I'm sure you know who this is. My two men have ran off, working with your General. I know for a fact however, that they are both preparing to help Shepard take down you too though, I will tell you where he is hiding, because the enemy of my enemy is my friend, heard that one before? Shepard is hiding in the small shack by the lake, you know where it is. This friendship ends as soon as I stop talking" Vladimir Makarov's voice came in on Price's radio.

I raised my eyebrows.

"That was convenient" I said.

Price nodded.

"Let's get a move on then" He said, and we both walked towards the shack.

It was all quiet, except for the sound of sticks and leaves crunching under our combat boots. We finally came to the shack. There was one man. Kiril paced outside, a huge paintball M240 in his hands. Price whispered to me,

"Looks like Makarov's intel is solid. Lets take this guy out. On three, one, two three!"

**Price POV:**

We took the man out, three shots each to the balls.

"Nikolai, have a chopper ready, we'll gonna have to get out of here quick. Meet us at alpha, pronto" I called into Nikolai on my radio.

"I'll be their in 20 minutes, out." Nikolai responded.

Now we had to get to Shepard. All in the sudden, somehow it felt that the surroundings changed. I looked at Soap for a moment.

"It's too quiet mate" I said.

He nodded. As if I really knew, a second later, a four wheeler burst out of the trees. We both jumped back. Shepard was sitting on the back, while Viktor drove.

As they were speeding away, as if it was supposed to be there, another four wheeler was sitting propped up against the shack. I looked at Soap.

"You drive, I'll shoot" I ordered.

**Soap POV:**

I was driving the four wheeler as fast as it could go, but Price still wasn't satisfied.

"Hurry up Soap, were gonna loose him!" He kept saying.

I sighed.

"Look pal, your the one who wanted me to drive it, so enough!" I shouted, and pressed harder on the speed pedal.

We then came to a huge hill. It was the sort of hill that when you looked down, your stomach felt weak, and you wanted to go buy an ice cream. I almost let a noise of fear escape me, but luckily Price started to talk.

"Hold it steady, I'm gonna take a shot!" He said.

I held it as best as I could, as Shepard was right in front of us, almost going down the hill. I prayed that Price would aim good. To my luck, he aimed perfectly, once at the driver, once at the back of the vehicle. The four wheeler spun out of control, and they rolled down the hill.

"Alright Soap, now back up" Price ordered me.

I tried, but it was too late. We spun down the hill as well.

It was so painful. I had a scrape on my arm, and I felt a little dizzy. I opened my eyes, and did not see Price anywhere. I got up, coughing. I knew my one objective: Find Shepard and get payback.

I ran to where Shepard's four wheeler was. It was all broken and on fire. It would blow soon, so I hurriedly looked for Shepard. Viktor was laying on the ground, holding his head, groaning. Off a few feet, I saw Shepard, running away. I ran after him as fast as I could.

"Hey! Get back here!" I tried shouting, but that just made the man more paranoid.

He stopped to catch his breath near a parked car, so I walked up to him. Making a move to grab his shoulder, Shepard surprised me, by grabbing me first, and slamming me to the ground. Before I could get up, He took out his knife, and plunged it through my shirt and into the hard cold winter ground. I could not move.

"Five years ago, Meat told me his first joke, and then it continued going on, and the world just fucking watched. Now, there will be no more Meat, or any of his friends. I know you understand" Shepard said, pointing his paintball gun down at me.

He had the gun pointed right at...my balls! I struggled to get up but it did no good. Shepard loaded his paintball gun, and aimed it back at my balls. This would not end good! Right when he fired, my good man Price smashed into him.

Shepard missed me just by an inch. I sighed in relief. Shepard dropped the gun, and he and Price erupted into a fist fight. The gun was rather close to me, so I reached out my hand. I had almost grabbed it, when Shepard saw and kicked the gun out of the way. He gripped my shoulder hard, planning to do something painful!

"Wait no Shepard!" I begged, but he brought his hand to my forehead and flicked me.

It hurt! I fell back to the ground, then struggled to take the knife out of the ground. Damn this harsh winter dirt! Price was loosing the fist fight, so I knew this way my only hope. I grasped the knife with one hand, and tugged. It hurt my muscles to do so, so I muttered harsh swears under my breath.

Using both hands now, I tugged hard and to my liking, the knife slipped out. I twisted it in my fingers and then, did something. I chucked the knife into the woods, far, far away from the three of us. This made Shepard stop. He stood up, pissed.

"Hey, thats my best buttering knife!" He complained.

Price caught his breath.

"Give it up Shepard! Stop this!" He said.

Shepard's next move surprised us.

"There is nothing to give up, because now I am going to admit myself into the Insane Institute. There will be no more Meat. No more Meat's friends" He said, voice cracking.

Price and I were shocked. Price then came and stood next to Shepard.

"If thats really how you feel" He said, hesitating.

Shepard nodded, and we were interrupted by the noisy sound of a helicopter. Nikolai's helicopter.

"I thought I told you this was a one way trip" Price said to Nikolai, as the Russian got off of the chopper.

"Looks like it still is. Makarov may be looking for you, you know" He said.

"Nikolai, we have to get Shepard to an Insane Institute" Price ordered him.

"Da, I know one on the other side of town" He responded, as the three men helped Shepard into the helicopter.

**Two days later:**

**All POV:**

"Now remember guys, we don't want to make him any more insane than he already is. Go easy on him, so he can come back soon" Price told all of the men while they were in the waiting room.

Everyone nodded.

"Okay, you can go in" A nurse said, motioning them to a door.

They all crept into a padded room, with the smallest window ever, and it was barred. Shepard was sitting in the middle of the room, a straight jacket on him. They all grinned happily when they saw him. Shepard had this vacant look in his eyes, like he didn't want to see them!

Each man gave him a gift. When it was Meat's turn, Shepard shuddered. Meat just gave him a light hug.

"Sorry" He whispered.

Shepard sighed when it was over. However, Meat went up to one of the ward guards and whispered something into his ear. The guard smiled as they all left, then went over to Shepard.

"So I have a question. Do mermaids really exist?" He asked.

"No. No, no no no NO! AAAHHHHHHHHHH" Shepard screamed.

Again, he was in hell and would not be coming back out soon.

**Epilogue:**

"Now, we are all addicted to fruits, and here as a group, we shall get over them" A woman spoke.

Tonight was an FA meeting. FA was short for, Fruit Addiction. Price had set up for Gaz to go to it every Tuesday night, for an hour.

"Lets start with your names, and why you are here" The lady spoke again.

"Oh and by the way, my names Becky" She added on.

Gaz raised his hand first, so she nodded at him. He stood.

"My name is Gaz, and I am addicted to Watermelon. I am here to get sober" He said.

Everyone clapped. A shaky looking woman then stood up.

"I'm Miley Cirus, and I'm addicted to blueberries. I want to turn my life around!" Once again, clapping ensued.

This went around for about 5 more people. By the end of the meeting, Gaz had met so many people! He realized that there were more people out there like him. There was the blueberry lady, a man who had been sober for 4 months after a bad incident with kiwi, a guy who couldn't stop eating cantaloupe, no matter how sick he felt to his stomach, a woman who realized she had completely emptied the store of Macintosh Apples, and last but not least, a very distraught man who had had bowel problems for 2 years after his horrible addiction to cherries.

Gaz decided that they were nice enough sorts, but it was SOOOOOOOO hard not to eat watermelon! They told him to stick to sweets and meat instead. This would be an adventure...

**The End?** IN YOUR DREAMS BUB!


	6. Not all fruit is good for you

**a/n: Fixed the format!**

Trouble with the S.A.S Pt.6

Starring: Price, Gaz, Soap, Ghost, Griggs, Meat, Roach, as well as all your other favorite cod characters!

It was a fine day at the S.A.S Army base. Everyone was going throughout their usual schedules. Yup, just having a good old time. Right now, Nikolai and Roach were having a chat with Price in his office.

"So, I hope were all cleared up now? You two will never replace the cooking oil with hot sauce in the brownies again?" Price asked them.

"Oh yes sir, don't worry" Roach said, grabbing Nikolai.

They both ran out of the room. Price laughed to himself, and was about to close the door, when he heard an odd noise coming from the kitchen. Curious, he silently snuck over and took a peek through the kitchen door.

Gaz was bending over behind the counter, shoving something into his face. Price could only guess what it was.

"Gaz! What do you think your doing?" He asked, barging into the room.

Gaz jumped about ten feet into the air, dropping the half eaten watermelon.

As you can all remember, Gaz was in a Fruit Addiction Rehab Program, learning not to eat so much of it.

"Price! Um, it's not what you think!" He said, frantically looking around.

Price smirked.

"Oh Suuure Gaz, lets just go with that! Oh and you have another FA meeting this evening, Ghost will bring you there," He said, and with that he walked out of the room.

Worm and Kamarov sat on the couch together, watching Days Of Our lives. Worm had his arm around Kamarov's shoulder, and he leaned his head upon him too. Over the past few days, Worm had been thinking a lot lately. He thought it was about time that he settled down, got married.

"Kammie Boo, what are you thinking about right this minute?" He asked his BF.

Kamarov closed his eyes and leaned back, smiling.

"I am thinking about how wonderful this all is" He said back.

This made Worm smile.

Later that evening, everyone was lounging about in the sitting room, watching a wrestling game on live Tv.

"Gaz, hurry up! Your going to be late, and I wanted to hit the store quickly!" Ghost shouted.

Soap jumped up.

"I'm coming too of course!" He said.

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Jeez, don't get your knickers in a twist!" Gaz shouted back from the bathroom.

He was fluffing his hair, and angling his hat the right way. Perhaps if he looked neater, then he would get out of the program sooner.

As soon as he was ready, the three men got into a truck. Ghost drove, and Soap and Gaz both sat in shotgun because they had argued about it, so Ghost had suggested this one.

"All right Gaz, well pick you up in an hour. Have fun!" Ghost said, leaving a irritated Gaz at his meeting.

Becky, the instructor, smiled at him.

"Hello Gaz, your a few minutes late. Come on in" She said, holding the door open.

While Gaz was in his meeting, Ghost and Soap drove to the little diner across from Joe's flower shop. Soap had already gone in, but Ghost was finishing his smoke.

"Hello English, long time no see" A familiar voice said from behind his.

Ghost turned around and gasped. There, sitting in a rather large chair was Roba, the insane mexican that had captured him years back. Something was wrong here.

Roba was not his usual evil self. He was a morbidly obese fat fuck. The man had rolls of gross fat hanging down, and wore no shirt because it looked like none would fit him. His usual short black hair was greasy. Ghost couldn't help it, but a small smile formed under his balaclava.

"Haha wow Roba, you really let yourself go these past few years!" He said.

Roba was holding a huge Italian sub in his hands, and oil dripped down from it. He took an enormous bite from the sub, and chewing loudly, letting drops of food fall from his mouth.

"English, you will never ever escape my wrath!" He said, allowing a huge chunk of sandwich fly from his mouth, and land on an innocent man who was walking on the streets.

Roba was too big to stand, so he was on a huge chair/platform.

Ghost sighed in satisfaction.

"Roba, you have a lot to learn" He said, and with that, he walked into the diner.

"ENGISH! THIS IS NOT THE LAST TIME WE'LL MEET!" Roba screamed.

"Sooo, what happened out there?" Soap asked, as Ghost sat across from him.

Ghost smirked.

"Oh, just saw Roba, remember what I told you about him?" Ghost asked his friend.

Soap nodded, wide eyed.

"Well not to worry mate, he's rather on the heavy side now." Ghost said, laughing.

Back at the base, Meat and Griggs were bored. Meat sat in the lounge, looking out the window. He missed a certain someone. That "someone" was locked in a mental asylum now. Their general.

"Why so down man?" Griggs asked, coming over to sit next to him.

Meat sighed.

"I miss telling things to Shepard. It's just not the same doing it to a Captain, or a Sgt. Or even a Pvt." He said.

Griggs could now understand why his best friends was upset. He then got an idea.

"Stay here Meat, I'll be right back" He said, getting up and racing out of the room.

He came upon his Captain's office, and kicked down the door. Price was sitting down, looking over some blueprints. He glared up at Griggs, as this was not the first time that his door had been kicked.

"Price, I need yo to do me a favor man. What do you say?" Griggs asked excitedly.

"What kind of a favor mate?" Price asked slowly.

He knew how these men could come up with some of the most wildest ideas. Of course sometimes he joined them, but sometimes they were even to wild or ridiculous to even him. Sometimes he could get what Shepard felt, but as much as these guys were annoying, Price cared about them all.

"Look man, I know it's late, but I wanted to know if me and Meat could visit Shepard tomorrow?" He asked.

Price had to think that over.

"Listen mate, um, I'm not entirely sure that Shepard is in a position to have a visit, get my drifting?" He asked.

Griggs just kept smiling. Price sighed.

"Fine! But only for ten minutes, and don't be crazy there or you'll get locked up too. But you can go in one week from now," He said.

Griggs raised his fist in victory.

It was about time for the FA meeting to be finished, so now Gaz was talking to others with his problem, while waiting to be picked up by Ghost and Soap.

"And then they told me that too much strawberries could mess up my digestive system, and they suggested I go here," Bob, a random man, said.

Gaz was half listening, half paying attention for when his ride was to come. Soon enough, Ghost and Soap pulled into the driveway. Gaz hastily made a retreat to the truck.

"Drive, Drive, Drive!" He commanded Ghost, as soon as he got in.

Ghost gave him 'the look' but drove on.

"Gaz what the hell? These meetings are good for ya mate!" Soap exclaimed in the truck.

Gaz turned towards the man.

"SHUT UP! I hate them okay? I just do! Stop pestering me!" He shouted, and climbed out of the truck, as they had reached the base.

He ran straight to Price, who was in his office.

Gaz kicked down Price's door, out of anger. Price, who was talking on the phone, glared at him.

"Gaz what the hell! Get out! I'm talking to Macmillan on the phone!" He said, annoyed.

Gaz made no move to leave though. Instead, he walked over to Price and snatching the phone out of his hand, throwing it to the floor.

"GAZ!" Price screamed.

Gaz stood there though, red as a beet.

"You will cancel these meetings right now. Call them now!" He said slowly, but very angry.

"Well Gaz, as for calling, you just broke the phone. As for getting out of these meetings, no I will not let you. You will go to these meetings," He said.

Gaz glared back.

"Never! It's not like you can make me!" He said, smirking, and walked out of the room.

Price smiled to himself.

"Or can I?" He told himself, all ready making plans.

"Ghost! Soap!"

Kamarov was walking out in the fields, holding Worm's hand. He felt so happy, in the sunshine with his lover. Worm stopped and picked a small daisy that was growing, and gave it to Kamarov. Kamarov brought the flower to his nose and sniffed it. "mmmm" he sighed. Yes, he was indeed content.

A few days passed, and all was quiet on the base. Today was again time for one of Gaz's FA meetings. He decided that he would not go. He would never go. Gaz sat watching Tv, alone in one of the barracks. It was nearing the time that they should normally leave, but as nobody was coming to get him, he assumed that Price had listened to him. He smiled triumphantly.

Out of nowhere, the TV was shut off, and two men ran up to Gaz. Ghost and Soap. Gaz was about to shout, but Ghost pulled out a gag and forced it into his mouth. Gaz kicked and thrashed.

"SOAP! Get the rope ready!" Ghost ordered.

Soap handed some over, while the two men bound Gaz tightly. Gaz was furious.

"Hurry up, get him in the truck!" Soap hissed.

They both picked Gaz up, and threw him in the back of the truck. Then they both climbed into the front, and sped away towards the FA meeting.

**Price POV:**

I watched out the window, grinning as I saw Ghost and Soap put a tied up Gaz into the truck. My plans always work, I need more credit!

**Gaz POV:**

I struggled madly to get untied, but those two men are serious when it comes to things like this, so I was having trouble. Boy just wait till I tell on them to Price! Wait a sec, Price was the one who wanted me to go! Now what will I do? This is really bad...

**All POV:**

Ghost pulled into the driveway of were the FA meetings were held. Soap felt nervous, wondering how Gaz would react. What if he had just lost a friend? He knew though, that Gaz had to get into these meetings. It just wasn't healthy to eat watermelon for every meal, with every meal, snacks, and desserts too.

The two men got out of the car, and went to the back. They saw Gaz, laying down looking extremely angry.

"Okay Gaz, I'm gonna un-gag you now. When I do, make sure you don't scream, yell, shriek, or try to bite, alright?" Soap asked him.

Gaz made no response, only staring at the wall of the truck.

Soap slowly undid the gag. Gaz was silent. Now he slowly undid the ropes. Gaz still didn't move. Now it was time for them to take him inside.

"Gaz, time to go inside" Ghost told him.

"No!" Gaz said, like a small child refusing to clean his room.

"Yes Gaz, now get up!" Ghost argued.

"Never!" The watermelon lover screamed.

"Now you listen here Gaz, we WILL carry you inside, and force you to go" Ghost threatened.

"Haven't you already forced me?" Gaz asked, peering up at them.

"Gaz get out right now!" No response.

"One...two...three!" Ghost said.

Now Gaz slowly got up as the two others walked next to him. They slowly walked towards the building, because Gaz was dragging his feet. When they had almost reached the door, Gaz suddenly turned around and darted away in another direction.

"Arg, god dammit, Gaz get back here!" Soap yelled.

He and Ghost ran after Gaz. After about ten minutes, they had cornered Gaz, and each held one of his arms, dragging him towards the building once more.

Boy did he put up a fight. By the time they got to the door, Ghost was bleeding in the hand from being bitten, and Soap was sure that he had a bruise forming on his shin. They went inside the building. The FA instructor smiled at them.

"If you don't mind ma'am, were going to tie him up in one of these chairs" Soap asked politely.

She nodded.

Gaz struggled as they bound him to a chair nearest to the front.

"Let me go! Untie me at one you great hogs of filth!" He screamed.

His two comrades just left.

"We'll pick you up in an hour Gaz" Ghost called to him, before slamming the door.

Gaz sighed and looked at the clock.

Meat and Griggs drove to the insane asylum. The huge building loomed ahead on a hill, and lightning shot through the sky above it.

"Oooo!" Meat said, admiring the excellent view.

"I just can't wait to see ol' Sheppy! The man's a hero he is!" Meat said.

"Yeah, how'd you convince Price to let us go?"

"Pure talent man!"

"I bet you just slipped some sugar in his drink." Griggs smirked.

"Ssshhhhh..." was all he could say.

They finally parked and walked in.

A couple of guards rushed by them, carrying a man who was covered head to toe in blood, was growling, and foaming at the mouth. Meat bit his nails nervously and inched back a bit. They asked reception if they could see General Shepard, and they said only ten minutes. So they were escorted through the halls, where they could here inhuman screaming and strange noises.

Griggs peeked into a room and saw a man writhing and spazzing out on the floor of his room, leaking drool down his chin and grinning ferociously. Finally, they reached Shepard's cell.

"Mr. Shepard? You have visitors sir." The lady said.

Meat and Griggs walked in and the lady called in some guards to watch out and protect them if necessary. Shepard lay on his side, no emotion expressed whatsoever.

"Hey buddy..." Meat said.

Shepard did nothing.

"Is he dead?" Meat asked the guard.

"Nope, I just don't think he likes it here. Not many people do." The guard said.

Shepard twitched.

"But I love it here Ron! This is my home now. Home sweet fuckin' home! Hahahahahahahhahahahah!" Shepard laughed maniacally.

Ron said, "That's right dude! It's okay now!"

Shepard calmed down and rested.

"Yeah. Home. Hoooommmmeeeeeeeee..." he dragged out the word.

Meat was a bit creeped out, and Griggs was just trying not to laugh.

"Well, it's okay." Meat said, touching Shepard's shoulder.

His entire body shuddered and convulsed, and his eyes closed tightly.

"Please... Just leave..."

"Ten minutes is up." The lady said, coming back.

Meat was sad to let his friend go, but he hoped to see Shepard again soon to.

"Bye, bye buddy" He said softly, and he and Griggs walked out the door.

Ghost and Soap were at DQ, having late night ice cream cones. Soap glanced down at his watch.

"It's almost time to go pick up Gaz." He said.

Ghost just nodded, thinking.

"Do you think he'll ever like us again?" He asked.

"Well, you know Gaz, I'm sure he'll sulk for a day or two then get over it" Soap reassured Ghost.

His best friend nodded.

"Let's go pick him up."

They arrived back to where Gaz was tied to a chair. He looked half mad, but it seemed that he had stopped struggling. He was just limp, watching his instructor.

"Hey Gaz, ready to go home?" Ghost asked.

Gaz just glared at them, wanting to give them the silent treatment.

They both untied Gaz, and he just lightly pushed by them, climbing to the back of the truck.

"Wanna sit up here with us Gaz?" Soap offered.

Gaz didn't respond, looking out the window. Soap sighed.

"All right Ghost, take us home" He said.

Gaz was silent the whole way back. He truly hated Soap and Ghost. And he even hated his best friend Price, for betraying him. It was 8:30 P.M when they got back. Ghost opened the door for him, and Gaz silently slipped bye them.

He walked down the hall, to get to the bunks. He was tired, and didn't have any spirit left inside. Price saw him and came over.

"Gaz, have a good time?" He asked his buddy.

"Just get away from me you piece of filth!" He snapped, and ran down the hall.

Price stood there.

"Price? were back and we only stayed for ten minutes" Meat's voice said.

Price turned around and saw him, along with Griggs.

"Ah, very good mate. You two go get showered and to bed okay?" He said, and walked to his office.

The next couple of days, Gaz sulked, but by day three he came out of the barracks and forgave his friends. He was now sitting in the mess hall, next to Price and Roach, with Nikolai on the other side of them.

"Awful quiet Gaz, you okay?" Roach asked.

Gaz nodded, spooning his pasta salad back and forth across his plate. He was trying to think of what to do when his next meeting came, which was in only two days, as he now had to take the program twice a week, due to his lack of recovery.

When that day came, Gaz was ready, holding a loaded M9 in his hand. He jumped whenever someone spoke to him, or came near him. He was ready for anything, constantly checking his corners. He was very surprised though, when he walked around a corner. A black gloved fist came out of nowhere, and punched him right in the face. He gave a small yelp as everything went black.

**Gaz POV:**

Uh, my face hurt. Wait a sec, I was punched! I opened my eyes, but my vision was slightly blurry, and it took me a moment to figure out where I was. That was when I found that I couldn't move. I was bound to a chair! Oh god, I knew these surroundings! I was at an FA meeting! Only five minutes till it would start!

Soap and Ghost will pay! It must have been them again, or it could have been Price! These rope bindings were too tight! Impossible to escape! The woman who ran the meetings smiled her ugly smile at me.

I struggled, and glared at Becky. I hated her!

"AH! Let me go! Where are they?" I asked, still struggling.

"Oh don't worry bud, your buddies will pick you up when the meeting is over" She said.

"They are not my buddies!" I growled.

Price drove over to where the FA meetings were held, for he was going to pick up Gaz tonight. He wondered how Gaz would react. He had told Ghost to punch him out cold earlier, so they wouldn't have to struggle getting him tied up so much. It worked fine too!

He went inside, and saw a bunch of people leaving. Everyone except for Gaz, who was tied to the chair still. When he saw Price, he huffed angrily.

"Ah, Mr. Price. May I have a work with you for a moment?" A short stocky woman asked.

Price knew that she was Becky, the woman who ran these meetings.

"Of course, what is is?" He asked, following her across the room.

"Well, I'd like to talk to you about Gaz" She said.

Price's eyes narrowed. He hoped Gaz hadn't done anything.

"What is it? Did he do something?" Price asked worriedly.

"Well, no I suppose not. It's just that it seems that Gaz has a very serious addiction to watermelon. I really suggest that you work with him at home as well, and make sure he comes to everyone of these meetings" She said, handing him a booklet.

He read the title. The guide to getting over Fruit Addiction was what it read.

He nodded.

"Yes, We'll work on it. Not to worry, he will be at every single meeting. Ever single one!" Price said.

With that, Becky high fived him.

"Good for you!" She exclaimed.

Price went out to Gaz.

Price untied Gaz.

"Your done for now" He said.

Gaz hurried out to the truck. He sat in the passenger seat. Price started up the truck, heading home. Gaz turned to his Captain/Best friend.

"Price, was it really necessary to punch me? I told you, I am never going to one. That was the last one I'm going to," he said.

"Gaz, you ARE going to every single one, until you are sober of watermelon! It's not healthy to you! We will force you to go! and no, I am not sorry!" Price said to Gaz.

Gaz sulked the rest of the way home.

"Sgt. Foley?" A voice called from the partly cracked doorway.

Foley looked up from his novel, to see Meat leaning against the doorway.

"Come on in Meat, what can I do for ya?" He asked, putting down the book.

"Well, I wanted to ask you something" Meat said nervously, coming to sit next to Foley.

"Go right ahead Meat. Did you do something to Nikolai again?" Foley asked, smiling.

Meat just shook his head, no grin at all.

"Well, Griggs and I went to visit Shepard a few days ago, and he was acting really scary. How come?" Meat asked.

Foley scratching his chin, trying to think of a good way to tell Meat why.

"Well you see Meat, sometimes eh, a person will not like another person, because that person is really annoying the hell out of them." Foley tried to explain.

Meat listened with wide eyes, nodding.

"But why would someone do that to someone?" He asked.

Foley sighed.

"Well Meat, because Shepard is really fed up with you. He really hates ya buddy. I'm real sorry" He said, patting Meats shoulder.

Meats lower lip quivered.

"W-what do I do?" He asked.

"Well obviously he doesn't want to see you, so when or if, he comes home, then stay clear of his path" Foley told him.

"But who will I tell my jokes to?" He asked.

Foley face palmed.

"Uh, just make a doll or something!" He said.

Meat stood up.

"Thanks!" He said, giving the Sgt. a hug, and running from the room.

As soon as Price pulled into the driveway, Gaz opened the door, and was about to run away, when Price put a hand on his shoulder.

"Gaz, I have this new handbook, and you have to learn at home too. Lets go to my office" He said.

Gaz glared back.

"Get off me! I'm not learning that crap!" He said.

"And I am never going back!" He added, running away towards the barracks.

**Three Days Later:**

"Gaz come out! Gaz? Gaz I mean it!" Price shouted.

Gaz was hiding somewhere on base, so now the whole army was trying to find him under Price's orders.

"Hey, I found him!" Paul Jackson's voice calls from another room.

Price, Soap, and Ghost all run to where Jackson pointed. Gaz was sleeping in a closet, a sleeping bag partially covering him. You can't see his face, but you can see his UK hat. Price nodded to Paul in thanks.

"Ghost, Soap. Grab him!" Price ordered.

They did, to shockingly discover that it was not Gaz, but a bunch off pillows made to look like him. Gaz had tricked them! They heard a small noise. Gaz was silently trying to tiptoe out of the room. When he saw that he had been discovered, he screamed, and tried to run.

Ghost and Soap were running after him. Outside, Gaz ran fast, but tripped over some gym weights. He fell to the ground in a thud. Soap and Ghost both grabbed him.

"NOOOO!" Gaz screamed, kicking furiously.

He pounded his fists, as Price came out holding some rope.

"Here" He said, thrusting it into Soap's hands.

While they tied Gaz, Price made an attempt to quiet Gaz down.

"Now, Now Gaz. You didn't think that was the last meeting did you? I told you, you are going to these meetings." He said.

Gaz spit at him. Price stepped back in disgust.

"Uh! Gag him!" He ordered, and left.

Now Gaz was tied up and gagged, again. This time, he was sitting in between Ghost and Soap, as they wanted to keep a close eye on him. Gaz looked very tired, and he finally gave up and was silent, looking out the front window. Suddenly, Ghost had to stop the brakes, as there, right in the middle of the road was fat man Roba.

"Shit" Ghost muttered, stepping on the breaks.

Roba was blocking the whole road, sitting down and eating a box of ice cream. Ghost got out of the car, with Soap right behind him.

"Roba, move outta the way fatty! People need to go places!" Ghost told the fat man.

Roba looked up at Ghost and smiled.

"English! Mowahaha! I rule this road!" He said, digging back into the ice cream.

Gaz watched from inside the truck, pouting.

Ghost was getting mad at Roba. He launched his fist right into Roba's nose, breaking it. Roba cried hard, and slowly moved out of the way.

Ghost got back into the truck, laughing, with Soap right behind him. Gaz partially laughed too, but it was difficult to do so while gagged.

When they arrived, Gaz had an idea. Ghost took his gag off.

"Can't you guys stay with me?" He pleaded, giving them an innocent look.

Soap sighed. "Okay Gaz, but only if you pay attention to the meeting."

The meeting went well, and Gaz was very good for some reason. When they were done, Gaz happily skipped out of the building. He sits in the front again, and smiled happy.

"Gaz um, you seem happy" Soap exclaimed, feeling odd.

When they were a bit down the road, Gaz told Ghost to pull over. When he did, Gaz held some sort of control up.

"Hey guys! Look over at the building over there" He said, pointing to the exact building were the FA meetings were held.

Ghost was about to grab the control, when Gaz pressed the button. The building exploded loudly, erupting in flames.

"Dammit Gaz! Just wait till Price finds out!" Soap yells.

Gaz just smiled. He was smart enough to put one of the bombs from the base, inside the building. That meant no more meetings!

"Gaz, I am very disappointed in you! How could you ever do a thing like that? You just wait!" Price scolded Gaz, who was sitting in a chair across from Price's desk.

"Sorry Price" Gaz muttered, in mock guiltiness.

"Off to bed with you!" Price ordered.

The next day, Price came to find Gaz.

"Gaz, I just got a call from Becky. The FA meetings have ben moved, due to the other building exploding. Another meetings next week" He said.

Gaz's eyes widened. "What? No!"

**The End?** I don't think so. Sooo, like? dislike? Review and tell me! Next part is going to be very funny, and makes fun of 'The Gulag' level from Mw2.

Extra: Meat walked out of the mall, holding a big box. Griggs poked it. "Jeez man, what's inside? He asked. Meat grinned, pulling something out of the box. It was a little dummy, that had a face that looked just like Shepard's. Griggs smiled. "Oh god Meat" He said. Meat bounced up and down excitedly. "Just wait Griggs, this will be the best ever! It will really rock! He said.

So now, Gaz still had to go to meetings, Worm and Kamarov were still in love, and Meat had a fake Shepard doll, to tell jokes too. Price did hope Gaz would become sober, for his own good. But would Gaz really stop loving watermelon? Who knows. Just wait for the next part, even though it is of something that's more about Soap than anything else!


	7. Prisons, Captains, and action

Trouble with the S.A.S Pt.7

Starring: Soap, Roach, Ghost, Price, Gaz, Nikolai, and Shepard, as well as many of our other friends from cod!

The sun rose brightly, and the people of the S.A.S base were cheerful. We'll, everyone except for Cpl. Dunn. "Give it back Jackson! Seriously, its not funny!" He shouted, running after Paul Jackson. Ghost came around the corner, hearing the commotion. "What the hells going on here?" He asked.

"Look at this Ghost!" Paul said, showing him a picture. Dunn tried snatching it away from Ghost, but failed, due to Ghost being taller and stronger than him. Ghost glanced at the picture and erupted into howling laughter. "Wow Dunn, seriously? Why would you take a picture of that?" He asked, ripping it up and dropping it on the ground.

While this was going on, Gaz and Roach were sitting in the kitchen, watching one of the cooks make a cake. Meat popped in too. "Hey guys! Mmm, that cake mix smells really good!" Meat added the second part to the cook. The cook lady smiled at him. "Here now young fellow!" She said, handing him the spoon. Meat smiled in content, licking it. Gaz saw the fridge, and had an idea.

"Roach, get your arse over here!" He said, motioning for the man to follow. Roach curiously followed him to the fridge. Gaz opened the door, and took out a big fresh watermelon. Roach's eyes widened. "Eh, Gaz? I don't think your supposed to have any of-" But he was cut off by Gaz walking out the door. Roach decided to tell Price.

Roach kicked down Price's office door. He was surprised to see that Price was not in the office, and instead, there was an Russian middle aged man, with black spiked hair. His eyes were creepy, as one was blue, and the other was green.

"Um, can I help you sir?" He asked the man. The man jumped, for he was so concentrated in his work. "Oh, uh, no thank you. I am just cleaning your Captain's office" He said. Roach nodded. "Good luck" He called, and decided to look for Price in the mess hall.

Price was in fact in the mess hall, talking to Nikolai about something. "Price, Gaz has a watermelon!" Roach tattled. Price sighed. "We'll have to finish this chat later Nikolai." He told the Russian, then turned to Roach. "Is he in the kitchen?" He asked. Roach shook his head. "He was headed towards the lounge sir." He said. Price went after Gaz, while Roach took a seat next to Nikolai.

"Did you know Price actually cares about cleanness in his office? He had a man cleaning it up for him!" Roach told his best friend, laughing.

The next day, everything was quite quiet. Everyone was in the mess hall, eating breakfast. It was 6:00 in the morning, and now all the men were tired. Price was sitting with Gaz, and the two were having a heated argument over watermelon. That was when something happened.

The front door opened, and huge men rushed in. They looked very dangerous, and everyone got quiet, seeing the men holding M4A1s. There were about 20 of them. "ALL RIGHT, ON THE GROUND NOW! PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" One man screamed. Meat was the only confident one, asking the yelling man why. "On the damn ground!" The man said threateningly. Another agent came up behind Meat and jammed the barrel of his gun in between Meat's shoulder blades, forcing him to the ground.

"Hey hey easy buddy!" Meat said. When everyone was kneeled on the floor, the mean man addressed himself.

"I'm with the CIA, my name is not important at the present time. We have know Intel that there are terrorism plans somewhere on this base."

Soap spoke up.

"But were an anti terrorist division!"

"That's not what Intel says. Which one of you is John Price!" Price stood, and all the men aimed at him. He just looked at them and let out a little "Pfft."

"Who says we have terrorist plans on base?" He asked casually.

"Not important." The man turned to a couple other agents.

"Go search his office. They said it's him. But don't lay a hand on him until you've found the plans." The agents nodded, and rushed to his office. Five minutes of scared silence passed, and the men came back, holding official documents.

"Hmm, what have we here? Plans for an attack on Zakhaev International Airport? Tsk, tsk, tsk, can't have that can we? Cuff him boys!" The huge men beat Price to the ground with the butts of their weapons, cuffed him, then stood him up. Everyone stared in shock. How could Price be a terrorist? How? Then again, Price was always a little shady...

"Stand up! You may now mock and ridicule this shit stain if so wished." The large man said. They all stood. Some looked at Price angrily, but no one said a word. Ghost remained silent, but his eyes looked dark and angry behind his glasses. Soap's mouth hung open, unbelieving what was happening. Roach smirked.

"Ya think ya know a guy..." He said. Price glared at him. It was the meanest glare in the world.

"I'm innocent I tell you! INNOCENT!" The men carried Price outside, and tossed him in the back of an armored prison van like a sack of potatoes.

"INNOCENT!" The word dragged out as the van sped away.

Everyone was quiet for a minute. Gaz stepped out into the middle of the road that Price had been taken away from. "Oh no. Oh god" He whispered. Ghost and Soap came out to him. Ghost clasped a hand on Gaz's back.

"It's okay mate, I know you miss him, but we'll all get through this" He said. Gaz shook his head. "N-no it's not that. I-its just t-that, I was friends w-with a terrorist for a long l-long time and I had no idea!" He sobbed. This was definetly trouble.

"Hey, its okay Gaz. We'll get through it. We all will." Ghost hugged him. Soap joined in with a quick hug as well.

"Thanks guys." Gaz said, and walked towards the door crying, a little lighter now. Soap and Ghost looked at each other worriedly.

"Were gonna have to watch him. This stress is probably going to make him want to use watermelon to feel better." Soap said. Ghost just nodded. Everyone was still trying to recover from what had just happened. Suddenly, Soap's Iphone rung. Unknown Caller. Soap answered anyways.

"Soap?" It was Price.

"Price? Oh my god, where did they take you? What is this all about?"

"I get one call Soap, so I decided to call you. At least you didn't look pissed with me. Look, I don't have much time. I'm appointing you as Captain during my leave! Their throwing me in some, high security building with no trial! Ha, and my sentence is 350 years! Ridiculous. But don't worry, I'll get myself out of here. Somebody will see the unjustness in all this!" Price yelled the last sentence, probably for a guards sake. Then the phone was disconnected before Soap could say a word.

"Wait! I can't be Captain!" This stopped everyone.

"Your Captain now?" Meat asked. Ghost just laughed. "You? Captain? ahahahha!" He laughed harder. Soap was just plain shocked. "Who was that? Was it Price?" Griggs asked. Soap nodded. "Um, someone call an emergency meeting in the lounge, now!" He said, running inside.

Soap glanced nervously at all the men who sat or stood in the lounge. Some had heard the news, some hadn't, but he had made sure that every single man on base was here, so it was rather crammed in the medium sized room.

He cleared his throat. "Hi everyone" He said. Now everyone stopped murmuring and stared at him. "Uh, I got a call from Price, and I'm going to be Captain due to his occupation in the prison" Soap told them. Everyone looked at him. It was silent for a minute, before Nikolai spoke up.

"Why you?" He asked. This made Ghost laugh again, which made everyone else laugh. Soap started to get angry. "LOOK! I will be Captain, and there Isn't a dammed thing you can do about it! What's done is done" He snapped at them. THey were silent once more.

"So, I guess it's over. You follow my orders, just as if I were Price. But pretend, I'm not going to be arrested" Soap said. One by one, they left the room, leaving Gaz, Ghost, and Soap behind.

"Well, I'm gonna go to the kitchen" Gaz said, happily, turning to go walk away. "Not so fast Gaz! Just because I'm not Price, does not mean you can have watermelon. Your still gonna go to your meetings later too" Soap said. Gaz gave Soap the finger, and ran away crying. "Man how hard is this going to be?" Soap asked himself.

"Ah! Oh god, first we have to get Gaz to his FA meeting..MEAT DONT TOUCH THAT! We have to set up all the targets for station 2, then we gotta go in town to take them all shopping..." Soap said while hurriedly pacing back and forth in the mess hall.

"I'm not going to those meetings!" Gaz wailed, running out of the building. Soap was about to follow him, when Meat and Griggs both came up to him.

"Hey Captain, can we parachute off of the supermarket?" Griggs asked. Soap was so rushed, that he barely glanced up."What? Oh yeah, yeah. Just be back before lunch" Soap said, still pacing. When they were almost out the door, he stopped.

"Wait! The supermarkets only 20 feet tall!" He shouted. Ghost, who had been calmly sitting next to him, tried hard to keep from laughing. "Looks like being a captains real fun mate!" Ghost said, bursting into laughter. Soap glared at him, and face palmed.

"Okay, uh, someone find Gaz, and someone go get Griggs and Meat!" Soap ordered. Everyone was still. "Sir, your supposed to tell us who had to exactly" Foley spoke up. Soap sighed.

"Well then you, Foley, go find Meat and Griggs. You Ghost, go find Gaz and punch him or something!" Soap ordered. Both the man walked away. Soap sighed, and continued on with his work.

"Gaz? Gaz seriously where are you?" Ghost called. "Behind you!" A voice shouted from directly behind Ghost. He gasped and turned around. "Jesus Gaz! Don't do that again!" He said. Gaz smirked.

"I actually came to tell you something" He said. Ghost backed up a bit, getting his fist ready.

"Now look Ghost, I think this is the perfect time to rebel against the Captain! We can plan to take him, and then-" But he was cut off by Ghost punching the lights out of him.

Price sat down in his cell, miserable. It was cold and damp, and the slight draft made him shiver. Why oh why had this happened to him? Or more importantly, who did this to him? He would find out! Price wondered how Soap was holding out as Captain of the S.A.S.

The next day, Soap had just finished moving his things into Price's old office. Soap had not wanted to throw Price's things out, so he stored them neatly into boxes and put them into the storage area. Now the office belonged to him.

Soap was tired, so he was taking a nap in the barracks. That was when Meat decided to act. You see, he was sitting with Griggs in the lounge, bored as hell. That was when he got one of his 'Meat ideas'.

"Hey Griggs, ya think the Captain's got any bad stuff? Like really bad stuff? I mean, he's the head man and all! I'd bet he has some!" Meat exclaimed. Griggs smiled. "I bet he has some! We could go get some!" He said. Meat nodded.

"Okay, we'll go to his office, and you will stand guard outside, while I go check around for some!" Meat instructed Griggs. Griggs nodded. "What do I say if he's coming?" Griggs asked. Meat though for a moment. "Cheesy nuggets" He said. Griggs nodded, looking into the hall.

Meat tiptoed to the Captain's desk. It was done up neatly, and had a framed picture of a cat, some scented candles, and a rather expensive looking glass vase. He was very careful not to touch it, in case it broke. He opened the big drawer in the desk, and carefully fumbled around inside, looking for anything that might be cool.

"CHEESY NUGGETS! CHEESY NUGGETS!" Griggs shouted into the room. "Shit!" Meat muttered, slamming the drawer shut. It was a terrible mistake, as he saw the vase wobble back and forth violently. "No!" He yelled, but it was too late. The vase hit the floor and shattered into millions of small pieces.

He was about to pick them up, when Griggs grabbed him. "Forget it man!" He said, and they rushed down the hall.

"I want everyone here to shut up, and listen!" Soap shouted into the barracks. Everyone stopped getting ready for bed, and looked at him.

"Someone was in my office, for when I came back from my nap, I found my vase that grammy sent me, and it was in pieces!" Soap said angrily. Gaz, raised his hand. "I didn't do it, but why do you call your Grandma, 'Grammy'?" He asked. "NOT now Gaz. Now who did it?" He screamed to the men. Everyone was silent. "Fine, if thats the way you want it. Ghost! Come with me!" Mactavish said, turning on his heel and departing the room, Ghost right behind him. Everyone was silent. Meat and Griggs stared at each other in relief that they were not caught.

"Okay Ghost, were gonna fingerprint my desk, then see who it matches with." Soap said. So that was exactly what they did!

"Everyone, I need you all to line up! I have to check your fingerprints!" Soap called. Meat shrugged, so everyone lined up. When Soap was done, he left, leaving everyone to wonder what he was doing.

"Okay, I'm matching it up now" Soap said. He then saw something terrible. It matched Meat, and Meat had lied to his face! "GHOST! Get Meat, and bring him here now!" Ghost hurried away to the barracks.

"Meat!" Ghost called, scanning around the room. "Yes sir ?" Meat asked.

"Soap wants to see you." He said, tugging Meat by the arm along to Soap's office.

"Meat...I'm er, sorry to tell you this, but...your grounded" Soap said guiltily to the happy go lucky young man. Meat's lower lip quivered.

"W-What? NO! No, anything but that sir! Please!" Meat begged. Soap sadly shook his head. Meat then started to bawl, and roll around on the floor.

"Enough Meat! It's time I got some damn help around here!" The NC (New Captain) said. And that was what he decided to do.

All the men formed a line out on the field. Soap had gotten the brightest idea ever!

"Okay now, I have decided to pick one person to be my right hand man, and another to do everything as I wish" He told them all his idea. The men sighed, hoping not to be the one who had to do everything.

"Now the first thing, my right hand man! You know who you are! Come on up here Ghost!" Soap said happily. Ghost quickly came up and stood next to his best friend.

"And now, the man who must do everything for me! Now, I shall do this very professionally" Soap reassured them. "Eany Meanie Miney Moe!" He sang, the whole verse. His finger stopped, right at... Roach!

Roach sighed, and muttered to himself, "Why me?" Nikolai felt bad for him, as did the rest of the men.

"Roach, go make me a tuna salad sandwich!" Soap ordered him. Ghost nudged Soap, giving him a look. "Oh, and make one for Ghost too!" Soap then added. Sighing again, Roach departed to the kitchen.

So now, Soap had a right hand man, a man who did everything for him, and a whole squad of people, to order as he pleased.

Soon, he and Ghost went walking back to his office to talk about what he could make everyone do now. Right when they got there, they saw something funny. Something fishy...it was sneaky lil Makarov! Yes indeed, there he was, right at Soap's desk.

"Hmm, I am so glad my plan worked! Now Price will be in prison till death even though he's innocent!" Makarov murmured to himself.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing in here?" Soap shouted. Makarov jumped up, nervously.

"Y-you mean Price really is innocent?" Ghost asked in pure shock. Proof had told it, as Makarov sprinted right past them, into the hallway and out of the building.

Ghost and Soap both looked at each other.

"I think we need to call the prison" Soap muttered.

As soon as Soap explained the previous events to the rest of the S.A.S, they all crowded into one of the barracks, around Soap, who was holding his phone.

"Okay, so we call the prison, tell them we have to get Price back. Say that he's innocent?" Ghost asked about the plan.

"Yup. They have to believe the military" Soap answered.

"Please can I get just one piece of watermelon? I-I really just can't deal with all this stress" Gaz pleaded, eyes watering. Soap looked at him briefly and nodded. Sometimes you just need a certain thing to cope. Even though Gaz was an addict, he still needed to have some once in awhile.

Soap dialed, putting it on speaker.

"Hello, state Prison of Prison" A lady's voice answered.

"Hello, this is Captain John "Soap" Mactavish. Were calling about an inmate of yours,

John Price. We need him back, as he is innocent" Soap politely asked.

"Oh dear. I'm sorry, but John Price's record tells me that he is not going to be released anytime soon. I bid you luck" She said, and hung up the phone.

"What? No!" Soap yelled, throwing the phone to the ground. It snapped, then sparked. Everyone was silent. Soap thought for a moment.

"You know what an old friend once told me? He said, do what is necessary, as long as you know it's for the good, even if nobody would believe you. I think we have to do that. Price is our true captain, and right now, he's stuck in a cell. A cold, damp cell. And the worst part is, Price is innocent" Soap gave one of those serious war action speeches.

"W-what are we going to do about it?" Nikolai asked.

"You, Nikolai, are going to get your helicopter ready. We've got to go to that prison" Soap told him.

"But it's a prison. Isn't that...not good?" Roach asked, only to have Soap ignore the question.

"Roach, make sure all of our weapons are ready" He told him. Sighing, Roach went out to the weapons room.

Half an hour later, everything was ready. The men were seated in the helicopter, and they had about thirty minutes until they reached the prison that held Price hostage.

"So Ghost, why do you always wear that balaclava thing?" Meat asked, poking it.

"Because I'm cooler than you" He replied evenly.

"All right guys, I think we need to compromise a plan." Soap broke the arguing. Meat raised his hand.

"Yes Meat?"

"I think we should bribe them with chicken!" Meat suggested proudly. Soap sighed.

"How many times do we have to tell you?" Soap asked, face palming.

"Not everyone loves chicken" Everyone said, remembering old Price's lecture.

"He told me the same thing about watermelon" Gaz sighed, remembering the little incident last month when they had gone out to eat.

"Enough! Were getting off track! Roach, punch the next person who talks nonsense!" Soap ordered. Roach sighed, still not liking the whole 'Do everything the Captain says' job.

"Okay now. When we get there, I'll take Roach, Meat, Royce, and Gaz with me. Ghost, you take Foley, Dunn, Jackson, Ramirez, and Griggs, and Kamarov with you around back." Soap instructed. Ghost glared at him.

"Why the bloody hell do I have to lead all the Americans?" He grumbled.

"Hey! I'm not American" Kamarov shouted.

"And what's wrong with us Americans!" Griggs asked menacingly.

"Nothing with you Griggs, but you know how Foley has bad coordination" Ghost pointed out.

"You know I'm working on it!" Foley snapped.

"All right, all right! We have everything settled! Now, I hacked the prison's files, and it says here, that Price is number...627" Soap told them.

"Okay, so basically, we run in, get prisoner #627, then run out" Jackson summarized the plan.

"Exactly" Soap nodded.

Finally, they all reached the prison. Meat bounced up and down. "Hey, this is where Shepard is too!" He yelled.

"Well, I guess. Shepard is on the other side of the Prison though, in the mental ward" Griggs told him.

"Yeah, but it's still the same building!" Meat whined. Griggs just nodded, as Soap shushed them.

"Hm, looks like they have guards on those towers. We have to make them go away" Soap mused to himself. That was when another heli came over, and it had an American sign on it.

"Looks like we have some help!" Soap said exitedly, as the heli fired some sort of clear substance at the men, and made them fall.

"I guess we don't have to snipe. Looks like these Yanks are the good guys!" Ghost said. Soap turned to him and huffed. "Must you chatter right now? How about you stay frosty?" He said, and Ghost was quick to shut it.

"I wanna visit Shepard!" Meat wailed, pounding his fist on the chopper.

"And I wanna eat some melon!" Gaz copied Meat.

"And I want them both to stop!" Jackson said

"ENOUGH! Do you want to rescue Price and go home or not?" Ghost said, fed up with the nonsense. They stopped, as everyone heard crumbling.

"Looks like their taking out the building. We have to get Price before it collapses, lets go!" Soap ordered. One by one, they slid down the helicopter rope and landed in the Prison courtyard.

"Ooh, look at the fountain!" Dunn said, nudging Vasquez. "Okay, I think were under attack" Soap said, pointing to a bunch of guards coming out of the building.

"We can't kill state police sir! They don't know that Price was set up!" Royce told him. Soap thought for a moment before nodding.

"Okay then, we have to just run, but not hide" He said. They had finally reached a side door to the huge place.

"Ghost, you take the team I gave you, and try and do your whole technical thingy to make the doors open for us" Soap ordered. Ghost nodded, and he and some others left.

"Roach, you go first" He said.

"Yes sir"

"Roach, you check the corners"

"Yes sir"

"Roach, are you done?"

"Can I have a minute? Jeez!" Roach mumbled. He hated having to do everything. Soap could tell by the look on his face.

"Now lookey here Roach. When I was just Sgt. John "Soap" Mactavish, Price made me work my arse off even worse then this. Your lucky I'm even letting your attitude off easy" He lectured.

"Okay, okay. sir, there's like, twenty eleven guys over there" He said. Soap scratched his head.

"Twenty eleven?" He asked. Roach shook his head. "Twenty plus eleven"

"Oh, so you mean 211!" Meat piped up. Everyone face palmed.

"Lets be sneaky!" Royce said, so they all quietly tiptoed around the police, until Meat stepped on Roach's foot, causing him to let out a yell, causing the police to see them, causing soap to instruct them to run. And so they did.

All in the sudden, the building rumbled from the Americans firing on it.

"Talk to me Ghost! I don't want to be here when the Americans fire again, or something" Soap said to Ghost over the radio.

"Hold on dammit! Let me open this door!" Ghost said.

"But Ghost, that door is on the other side of the place! We don't need it!" Soap said, angrily.

"I want to open every one, so I can be cool. But um, It looks like um, hold on" Ghost spoke again.

"what a good idea!" Gaz said.

"Well well well. If it isn't a radio I have found. Is this Mactavish?" An old familiar voice spoke over the radio to Soap, causing his eyes to widen.

"Shepard! I though you were in the insane ward!" Soap exclaimed in shock.

"I was, but when the building is getting blown apart, inmates are escaping rapidly. I was the one to call the extra Americans firing at the place you know, because I know of Price's innocence" Shepard said, in his raspy cultural voice.

"What? But, but how?" Soap asked.

"Enough of that! I need you to do me a favor. One that only you can do as Captain" Shepard said, in a dead like voice.

"And w-what is that?" Soap asked cautiously.

"I want you to take out Meat. Leave him behind at the last minute, so the bricks will fall on him, and it will be the end" Shepard said.

"But Meat's a good solider! I know he can be...hyper at times...but he trys! And that's all we ask!" Soap said, voice crumbling.

"As your General, insane or not, I order you to do it! Be sad, or be happy as I will, either way, you will do it!" Shepard said. "Out"

Soap stood lifelessly, staring at his squad who were checking weapons and whispering.

"Are we ready yet? I really wanna go home and eat a chicken salad sandwich!" Meat said, smiling at his Captain. Soap looked at the ground.

"Erm, not yet. We have to find Price" He said, before picking up the radio again.

"Ghost come in! Do you have Price's location?" He asked, tapping his foot.

"Yeah! I have for like, ten minutes, but Foley tripped and scrapped his knee, so we had to patch it up. He's right behind the wall your standing next to" Ghost said cheerfully.

"WHAT? WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR TWENTY!" Soap screamed, but knew he could yell at Ghost later.

"Let's breech this! Roach, you do it!" He said, so Roach didn't protest this time, wanting Price back so he could be his normal self.

They all stood ready, just as the wall blew to bits. On the other side was shocking. Price was sitting on top of an unconscious police man, eating a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Roach was about to run over, but Price mistakes the exited gesture, thinking Roach was going to steal his soup. He punched Roach hard in the face, sending the poor man to the ground.

Price held a gun to Roach's head. "Dammit, you don't touch my soup!" He said. Price was wearing a jacket, and sweat pants. They looked like he was a old lazy grandpa.

"Drop it!" Soap screamed, putting his gun to Price's head. Price recognized the voice right away. Gaz and Royce gasped, while Meat looked happy to see his normal Captain.

"Soap?" He asked, in a stunning tone.

"Price?" Soap asked, then looked at his little pistol, holding it out to his Captain, as it was the only thing that had not been stored away.

"This belonges to you sir" He said, and Price took it. Just then, a loud crashing noise filled the room.

"We've got to get out of here, move, move!" He said, ushering them out of the room. Meat, Royce, and Roach ran behind Soap and Price in the front. Soap stopped suddenly, remember Shepard. he turned to face Meat.

"Meat um, we need you to take the shortcut" He said meekly. Meat looked back, raising his brows.

"How about we all go. I don't want to go alone, I'll be afraid" he said, folding his arms.

"But...but it's a magical shortcut! I'll teleport you right to the chopper! Just go back and take a right!" He said, knowing that was a dead end. Meat broke out into a smile, jumping up and down.

"Okay! See ya Captain! I can't wait to see you!" he said, darting off. Soap sighed. "Let's go" he said.

"Oh no! It looks like were gonna die!" Royce said, as the entrance was blocked by rocks and rubble. "We can make it! Go!" Soap screamed, as they darted around a corner. A big hole was up on the roof.

Roach wobbled back and forth from the falling bricks hitting him. One big brick suddenly came down, hitting him on the head. It sent him tumbling to the ground, passing out.

"Roach is down! Roach!" Soap yelled. Price was over there in a flash, taking the brick off of Roach's head. Roach opened his eyes, looking dazed.

"Whatever your gonna do Soap, do it fast!" Price ordered frantically. Thinking quickly, Soap firing a neon blue flair up out of the hole.

"Hey, it was supposed to be red! You stole my blue ones!" Royce said.

"Not the time. Let's go, let's go!" Price yelled, pulling Roach up as they all came to the rope that the chopper had sent down.

It pulled them all up out of it, just as the whole prison burst into flames and crumbled.

"Meat" Royce said softly. Soap felt awfully guilty now, as they all sat down in the helicopter.

"He was a good man. Perhaps his body will be found sometime, and we can give him a proper burial" He said. Griggs looked very sad.

"Hey guys! Mind helping me! I got the best thing ever! The cafeteria was still in business!" A hyper, high pitched voice said. One that they all knew.

"Meat! Where are you!" Griggs shouted, as he, Soap, and Ghost ran to the door that was partly open on the chopper.

And there he was, holding onto the side of the helicopter, a sandwich in one hand.

"But-what-how?" Soap asked dumbfounded as Ghost and Griggs pulled him up.

"Oh Meat! I'm glad your okay! Are you hurt anywhere?" Soap asked. Meat shook his head, looking so innocent, that Soap ruffled his hair. "Atta boy! Now were all safe, and we have Price!" He said.

That caused everyone to go to Price and envelop him in tight hugs, and apology's about thinking he really was evil. Price accepted the apology's earnestly, speaking kindly to all of them.

"Now, we aren't all bad in injury's are we? So all in all, Roach you have a nasty black eye from the punch, and I think you need you get your head checked and stitched later, Foley you hurt you knee, but Ghost patched you, and Price are you okay?" Soap asked.

"I'm good, but I think I want to take a nap when we get back" Roach said.

"And my knee feels better" Foley said.

"And don't worry about me, I just need a shower" Price said.

"And this sandwich is really good, but their lacking butter" Meat said.

"Roach, sorry again about punching you. I was just really Hungary" Price said, and Roach offered him a smile.

"Now as I think of it, speaking of showers, I want you all to take one when we get back" Price said, taking note on everyone's dirt covered faces. Everyone agreed.

Gaz came over and sat next to Price. "I missed ya buddy! Did you know that Soap was the same as you? He didn't even give me watermelon!" Gaz complained. Price looked at Soap.

"Good for you Soap! I knew I could trust you! But know you don't have to worry, I have it covered. First thing in the morning were gonna go to court and get bloody Makarov!" He said.

"Agreed" Everyone said. Now, they had some time to rest before they reached the base. Most of the men slept, except for Price, Soap, Ghost, and Nikolai.

"It's getting late. 11:00pm. Maybe showers will have to wait till morning" Price murmured, Looking at Gaz, who had fallen asleep by his side and had his head rested on Price's shoulder.

"I agree. Do we have to get up to early tomorrow?" Ghost asked.

"Yes" Price replied merrily. "I am exited to put you all to work. Oh but Soap, your coming with me to court. Ghost, I'm gonna put you in charge of supervising warm ups" Price said.

"Okay" Ghost said, before mountainously yawning and closing his eyes underneath his balaclava.

"And then there were three" Soap softly spoke. Price nodded.

"Were here" Nikolai said. "Almost landing. I suggest you wake them all up"

Price gently shook Gaz, while Soap woke Ghost. After that, the four of them woke up the rest. They all stumbled off the chopper, some supporting others.

"It's been a long day, showers can wait. Now get to bed, all of ya!" Price said, swatting at Worm, the one nearest him.

"Sir, the stuff for your office was originally going to be thrown out but I saved it. You can find it in the attic" Soap said, before leaving to go to the barracks.

"Hey Soap, are you happy not to be captain?" Ghost asked. Soap thought for a moment, before nodding.

"It sure feels nice not to undergo such pressure. I now know why Price is so strict and gets fustraighted. Now lets go to sleep" Soap said, and so they did.

The next day, Everyone got up at 5am and took showers. After eating a big breakfast, Soap and Price went off to court. Everyone was eager to hear results after the court battle. Hopefully Makarov would pay. Ghost put them all to workk exercising and running, along with some target practicing.

"Hey Ghost, can I please have a water break?" Kamarov asked, Worm by his side. Ghost looked up from his sniper.

"fine, fine, but hurry up ya lazy muppets!" He said, trying to sound intimidated, which worked well because of his skull mask.

"Hey Ghost, remember when you guys first came here?" Gaz asked. Ghost looked up again, recalling the distant memory.

"I do. I thought all these guys were gonna be arses" He laughed.

"Oh yeah? All of us thought you guys were crazy. We were creeped out of you mostly" Gaz said, grinning.

"Me? That's awesome! What did you say about me behind my back?" Ghost asked with interest.

"Oh you know, just how weird you were, and we wondered how everyone who was new too, seemed to be fine around you. You know we were all freaked out about who had to share a bunk with you! Luckily, Soap got it. Man he sure was scared!" Gaz went on and on.

"I guess I was a bit...creepy. I'm just glad I met Soap. He's my best friend now!" Ghost said proudly.

Only three hours later, Soap and Price got out of a truck. Everyone ran up to them.

"How was it? What did they say? What's happening to Makarov? Were you proved innocent?" Were the questions asked. Price held up his hand.

"Now, now. Heres what happened. Makarov was going to serve ten years in Prison, but he escaped. I am innocent, but...I'm afraid that for the next week, you will all help rebuild the Prison, and catch some of the top murderers who escaped.

"But-but it wasn't even us who did it! It was Shepard's other army!" Nikolai said.

"I know, I know. But Shepard is crazy, he had no idea what he was doing. He's our general and we respect him by cleaning up his messes" Price lectured all sighed, but agreed. And so Price was innocent, and the team was all fine. Just a bit grumpy because they had to clean the place and catch evil prison immates, but besides that, it was all good.

Extra: Two weeks later

Price was on his way down to the kitchen, going for his late night coffee. He stopped when we heard sobbing. It seemed to be coming from the kitchen, so he quickly ran over to the door, opening it. In their was a big surprise.

Gaz was sitting on the floor, propped up against the counter. around his was dozens at watermelon grinds, mostly eaten. Gaz was sobbing, trying to eat more watermelon. Melon juices were dibbling down his chin, soaking his shirt. Puke that was all watery and pink was on the floor, clearly resembling barfed up watermelon.

"Gaz" Price whispered, running over.

"M-more. M-melon! I-I want it!" He wailed as Price took his piece of melon away.

"C'mon now Gaz. Let's get you cleaned up and to bed" Price said, actually worried about his best friend. This looked serious. The end? Of course not!

Next chapter shall be good: Gaz goes to rehab, suffering vividly pensive fruit addiction side effects. Hope you all review!


	8. Rehab, Bonding, and food

Trouble with the S.A.S Pt.8!

Starring: Gaz, Shepard, Meat, Price, Ghost, Soap, Nikolai, Griggs, and many of our other friends from cod Modern Warfare!

It was a partially normal day at the base of the S.A.S. Everyone was out and about, some doing chores, others playing basketball, and some eating in the mess hall. It was about noontime anyways.

Most people were okay, but one person was not. Gaz was not in a good state. His fruit addiction was getting too serious. The previous night before, Gaz had suffered a serious relapse, and had been found in the kitchen by Price. Right now, Price had sent Gaz to the barracks for the day, to stay in bed or in the bathroom, as eating all that melon did have it's side effects.

Price was sitting down in his office, with Soap and Ghost across from him. They were trying to decide what to do about poor Gaz.

"Obviously, these meetings are having little affect on him" Soap said.

"So how can we get him more help?" Ghost asked.

"Well, I was looking online here, and it says there's rehab facilities that specialize in addiction to food here." Price said, showing them a website on his laptop.

"Let's give the place a call and find out a bit more about this place" Soap suggested, pulling out his iPhone.

Ring! Ring! Ring! Finally a voice answered.

"Hello, Sunny side food rehab facility, how can I help you?" A lady spoke. Price did the talking.

"Er, yes. Were calling about a friend of ours who has a very unhealthy and strong addiction to watermelon." He said.

"Ah I see. Has he been attending to FA meetings?" She asked.

"Yes, twice a week, but they seem not to be helping. He has had a bad relapse, and I think it's time we did something about it" Price said.

"Why don't we schedule an appointment? Is he free tomorrow?"

"That would be great. what time should he come?" Price asked eagerly.

"How about 10:00am to 11:00am? I suggest you come to" The lady said.

"Of course" he replied.

"Good then. Now I'll need your names, numbers, and addresses" She said. This might just work.

"Gaz, I have some news" Price called as he entered the barracks. Gaz was laying down, staring the the ceiling. He looked up at Price.

"What?" He asked.

"Um, were going to a meeting tomorrow. It's a really important one okay?" Price asked, eying Gaz carefully. Gaz blinked, sitting up.

"Do we have a new mission? I can go get things ready" He said, so calmly that at first it was hard to believe he was an addict.

"Nope, just you and me. Were going out of town, to a nice place called Sunny Side" Was Price's answer. Gaz looked confused.

"Why the hell are we doing that? What is this place?" He asked, eyes wary.

"You see Gaz, I'm just gonna put it right out there. This place is a rehab facility for fruit addicts. Your addiction to watermelon has gotten worse instead of better. This place may help you" Price explained carefully to his friend.

"What? No! No, I'm not going! And you can't make me!" He whined. Price rolled his eyes impatiently.

"I didn't ask you if you wanted to go, you ARE going, and that's final! It's a three hour drive, so be prepared!" He barked, and left poor Gaz trembling out of anger.

Later that night, Worm, Kamarov, Soap, and Roach were sitting in the lounge watching the sports channel. Ghost then came running in, Foley right behind him.

"Guess what, guess what?" Ghost said, jumping up and down.

"What?" All the others asked.

"Words out that were having breakfast for dinner!" Ghost shouted. This made them all jump in the air, whooping. Gaz came in, looking pissed.

"Hey Gaz, why so down?" Meat asked, all in the sudden appearing in the doorway. Everyone jumped slightly, except Gaz. He was frowning.

"I have to go to some dumb meeting with Price about my addiction" He sighed, starting to turn around and leave.

"Wait! Were having breakfast for dinner! That'll cheer you up!" Soap said.

"No. Unless...Hey, do you think they will have watermelon there? You know how fruit goes with breakfast!" He said. "I'm gonna go now!" he added on before running out.

"I hope he gets some! It'll make him happy!" Meat said, only to receive a bop on the head by Kamarov.

"By God my friend! You know Gaz is too addicted! Shame!" He said, turning on his heel to entwine hands with Worm.

"Let's go get washed up for dinner...alone" He said. So they too, left.

At dinner, everyone gasped. On the tables were plates filled with waffles and pancakes, drenched with syrup. Eggs, sausage, and bacon were still steaming in the pans. Huge pitchers of orange juice and chocolate milk were also on the tables.

"Holy crap, c'mon lets eat!" Ghost said, hurrying to fill his plate. The others followed him. Gaz was about to go away, seeing no melon, but Price grabbed him by the arm.

"C'mon Gaz, time to eat" He said a bit forcefully. Gaz tugged at his arm, irritated.

"I'm not hungry!" He stated. Price would not take no for an answer, as he sat down, pulling Gaz into a chair next to him.

"Do you want some pancakes?" Price asked, filling his own plate with about five of them.

"Sure, yeah, fine." Gaz said quickly, taking two. Ghost, who was across from his next to Soap, was filling his plate with everything. It was piled high with Waffles, pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, grapes, hash browns, and tater tots. He had three glasses of chocolate milk next to his plate as well.

"Oh fuck Ghost! Are you really going to eat all that?" Soap asked, a look of horror. Ghost was too busy shoveling some eggs into his mouth, but he did nod.

"It is not every day we get such a treat as this my friend!" Nikolai said, popping into the other seat next to Gaz.

"True, because this is going to be the only good dinner for quite a bit" Price said, before sipping on some of his coffee.

"What? Why?" Gaz finally talked. Price smiled triumphantly.

"Because the cooks are getting a vacation, so it's up to Kamarov to do the cooking. Worm can help of course. You know how bad Kamarov's army skills are, and he needs to make a living somehow" He explained.

"Wait a sec, what?" Kamarov asked, who was sitting at another table right nearby.

"That's right, your gonna start cooking meals, tomorrow morning! Me and Gaz will be gone, so we won't be able to taste your first attempt to make a meal, but oh well!" Price said cheerily.

"Oh yeah. What's all this about a meeting?" Meat asked. Gaz folded his arms while Price explained again.

"There's a fruit addiction rehab center that may be able to help Gaz more than those FA (Fruit Addiction) meetings. Their gonna have a look at his problems tomorrow, to see what sort of mental state he's at with fruit"

"Oh. Hey isn't Shepard mental? I wanna see him! Can we go visit him? Please? I'll help clean the barracks, and scrub the bathroom floors, and do other thingys!" Meat said excitedly.

"We'll see" Price replied.

Dinner for the rest of the night was quite enjoyable, even for Gaz. When all the men had filled their stomachs maximum, they all decided to relax in the lounge. Nikolai and Roach played cards, Ghost and Soap had an arm wrestling match, and everyone else talked or watch TV until about 9:30pm.

"Okay everyone, showers then bed!" Price yelled like usually. Everyone rushed out to do that, and went to sleep.

"Gaz wake up! We have to go to that meeting!" Price whacked Gaz on the head with a pillow. Gaz groaned, putting his own pillow over his head.

"No! I wanna sleep!" He mumbled, only half awake. Price got impatient.

"You can have a watermelon flavored lollipop if you just get up and into the car" He said. At this, Gaz's eyes snapped open and he lept off the bed, running to the bathroom. Price smiled to himself.

The car ride went by fast, the whole way Gaz was content licking his treat, while Price played music. They finally pulled up to a big gate, with two cops guarding either side of it. A big sign was nearby that read "Sunny Side Food Rehab Facility".

"This is it, C'mon, lets go"

15 minutes later

"Hello, I'm Dr. Shizzum. You must be John Price" A woman came into the waiting room. She looked about 40, wearing a white coat, hair in a bun as well, but stray hairs were hanging down. She seemed nice enough. Price stood up and offered his hand.

"That's the name." He said. The lady shook his hand, then looked at Gaz, who was sitting in a chair nearby.

"And you must be Gaz" She smiled at him. He glanced at her quickly, then looked back at Price. The Dr. cleared her throat.

"Why don't we go into my office. I'm just going to do a few tests to see how addicted he is, then we can decide what to do from there" She added the last part on to Price. The three of them, went into her office.

Dr. Shizzum's office looked normal. It had a desk, a few chairs, and a plant near a window. Gaz and Price took up the two chairs across from her desk, which she sat at.

"So first, I'm going to give you a piece of paper and some crayons. Draw me a picture of anything you want" She said to Gaz, passing over some paper and three crayons. They were green, red, and black colored. Gaz quickly got to work. Price watched over his shoulder.

"Done!" Gaz handed over the picture to the Dr. It clearly resembled a watermelon.

"Very good drawing. Now just a few other things to do" She said.

It was about another hour before they were done. Gaz had done many activities, and now he was in the waiting room while Price and Dr Shizzum talked.

"I'm sorry, but Gaz is a serious addict. He's going to need a lot of help" She said.

"Please, do everything necessary to make Gaz better again. Were willing to do anything" Price said.

'Well, I suggest to send him here. We don't know how long it would take, but we do offer the best care avalible. He would have a room, and would have to attend groups sessions with people that have problems similar to him, and he would be fed other things with nutrition, as well as fruit that he doesn't enjoy." She informed him.

"All right, we'll send him here. I just have to let everyone tell him goodbye, then bring him back tomorrow" Price said. He filled out some paper work, then he and Gaz were on their way back.

"So Price, why did we have to go there? That woman didn't even have me talk about watermelon. Hey, can I have some?" Gaz asked.

"Gaz, this is going to be a little hard to tell. That woman was...giving you some tests to see how addicted you are to watermelon. The results said you were pretty bad off. But they can help you" Price said.

Gaz blinked. "How can they help me?"

"Look, your going to go back there tomorrow, but not for a few hours. Your going to be staying there for awhile" Price informed Gaz, pain in his voice.

"There...what? What do you mean? I...I live at the base!" Gaz said, appalled.

"Gaz, these people can help you. Make you not addicted. As soon as they think your better, you can come home. I promise it won't be forever. Gaz?" But Gaz stared out the window.

When they finally got back to base, it was late afternoon. Gaz stormed angrily inside the shower room, slamming the door. Price sighed, deciding to leave him to cool down. He made way to the kitchen.

When he got there, he coughed. Smoke filled the kitchen, making it very hard to see at first. Kamarov then came into view.

"Worm quick! Take the casserole out of the oven, while I get the stew! Oh damn!" Kamarov shouted. Worm had rushed over to the smoking oven, while Kamarov ran over to another stove, yelling. The pot that held "stew" had boiled over, spilling the contents on the burner, making a hissing noise.

Price sat calmly, arms folded, while watching the commotion go on about in the kitchen. Neither of the men had noticed him come in. It was until Kamarov turned to get some pepper, before jumping in shock.

"Gah! Um, Price you startled me! I was just working on...dinner" He said.

"I see. Well dinner will have to wait. I need everyone in the lounge, now." Price said, before departing.

15 minutes later

Everyone was crowded into the lounge, except for Gaz. Price stood in the center of the room, waving for them all to be quiet.

"Now, now! Listen! I have some very important!" He shouted.

"Did Nikolai win that contest he applied to the other week?" Roach asked.

"What contest? Never mind. This is about something much more important than Nikolai. This is about Gaz." Price said.

"Wait, Gaz is more important than me?" Nikolai asked in disbelief.

"Yes, but now back on subject. Gaz is going to be leaving tomorrow. Not for good mind you, but it could take awhile" Price told them.

This was so shocking, that everyone was silent for a moment.

"Gaz is leaving?" Meat asked Price, voice trembling.

"I know it's hard"

"B-but this can't be happening! W-why am I loosing everyone? First my buddy Shepard, and now Gaz? Who next?" Meat sobbed. Ghost came over, patting him on the back.

"All right now. Gaz will be leaving tomorrow. Later tonight, and tomorrow morning you can all get the chance to say goodbye to him. Just be supportive, cause he's not very happy right now. Out" Price said, before quickly leaving the room, covering his face.

"Was Price just...crying?" Dunn asked. Everyone was a bit shocked.

"You know what? Why don't we all just go to the mess hall and eat some of Kamarov's cooking. I'm sure it will taste good" Ghost said, causing everyone to agree, and file out of the lounge.

"Now Gaz I have a suitcase here, they said for you to pack clothes, and anything else that's not dangerous. That means no guns" Price said to Gaz. They were in the sleeping barrack, and Price was forcing Gaz to pack his things. Gaz however, was sitting on his bunk, arms folded.

"Fine Gaz, be silent" Price huffed, tossing some of Gaz's clothes into the suitcase. He closed it with a thud, and zipped it shut.

"Hey guys!" Roach said, coming into the room. Price nodded at him, and Gaz waved. Roach was easy to get along with.

"Hey Roach. Oh look at the time. It IS getting late" Price said.

"I guess we better go to bed. I'll go get everyone" Gaz said absentmindedly. Roach looked at Price.

"Doe's he have to go tomorrow?" He quietly asked.

"I know, I don't want him to leave either, but we have to do what is right!" Price said firmly, giving Roach a pat on the back.

The next day:

"Gaz, come down from there!" Soap shouted. He and Ghost had both been ordered to retrieve Gaz, who had hid somewhere. They had found him, right on the roof of the truck garage.

"No! Never shall you make me!" Gaz laughed wildly.

Ghost gasped. "He's gone mad with terror!"

"We have to punch him!" Soap said.

"Or shoot him" Ghost offered. Soap glared at him. "You know what Price said!" He hissed.

"Never shoot something of value, unless they have issues with the Captain" A group of men chorused from inside the mess hall, only a few feet away from the garage.

"Oh. Gaz doesn't hate Price, cause there best friends," Ghost said.

"So...why don't we um...hey, where did he go?" Soap asked, looking at the empty roof of the garage.

"Behind you!" Gaz hissed, causing them both to turn around.

"Gaz what the hell? Why do you always do that? And how the fuck did you get off the roof so fast?" Ghost asked.

"Never mind that. Now before you go all dumb and punch me, I just wanted to give you a proper goodbye. I have decided to take this on, like a man!" Gaz pumped his fist into the air.

Soap scratched his head, but tears of joy formed in his eyes. "Really?" He asked.

"No!" Gaz ran off towards the kitchen. Ghost and Soap were both too shocked to react at first.

"That bastard! I'm gonna punch him extra hard!" Ghost said, walking angrily towards the kitchen.

Gaz ran off towards the kitchen, laughing to himself at the thought of Soap and Ghost standing dumbstruck by the garage. He skipped off inside, knowing that Kamarov could do little to stop him. After all, he was only a cook.

As soon as Gaz entered, he wished he hadn't. Standing a few feet ahead of him, was no other that Price. Price stood with his arms folded, his face solemn.

Gaz was about to turn around and run, but behind him was no other than...Soap and Ghost. Slowly he turned back to face Price.

"No more running Gaz. No more" Price sternly said. There was nothing more poor Gaz could do.

Everything was settled. Gaz was strapped into the back seat of a truck, while the whole S.A.S team came out to tell him goodbye. Meat stepped up to the window first, chocking back sobbs.

"Gaz. I-I don't know what to say. I'll miss you. I promise not to touch your watermelon grind collection, or listen to your happy fruit cd." He said. "I'll miss you" He whispered again, finally letting the tears out.

"I know Meat. I know." Was all Gaz said.

Griggs, Roach, and Worm stepped up to the window next.

"We all really will miss you. It will never be the same around here with you gone" Griggs said. Worm nodded, while Roach gave Gaz a look of sympathy, until they stepped aside. Nikolai was next.

"My friend, I will be thinking of you every single day" He said, making room for Kamarov. Kamarov smiled tenderly at Gaz.

"You are going to be alright, my friend" He said.

Ghost, Soap, and Price were all taking Gaz to Sunny Side. They waited patiently for everyone else to say goodbye to Gaz. When everything was done, Price started the engine, and they slowly went down the road, to the gate.

Gaz pressed his hands up against the glass of the back window, looking at his home. The whole team was waving at him from the driveway. This was it, he was officially not an S.A.S soldier for the time being. He was an addict.

The whole trip there, Gaz was silent. Ghost normally would have spoke up, but even he did not know what to say. When they pulled up to the gates of Sunny side, it took the guards about five minutes to undo all the locks.

The lobby was bright and sunny, filled with only a few people sitting in the waiting area. Classical music played while people looked at magazines. They went up to the front desk. A lady was filing her fingernails. She noticed them after a few moments.

"Can I help you?" Her voice was scratchy, as her eyes narrowed from her spectacles.

"Yes, were here to drop of Gaz. He's supposed to be submitted to the Intensive addict ward." Price said.

"Ah, I see. I'll send someone down. You can say your goodbye's now" she said, turning towards a red button on the wall. She pressed it.

"Rob, we've got a IAW stat. Bring down the big boys" She spoke into her mic. "Rodger" A mans voice replied.

"Well. This is it Gaz. R-remember to shower" Price's voice cracked at the end. He turned away. Ghost looked at Gaz.

"I um, I'm really gonna miss you Gaz. I never really meant it when I tied you up and ate watermelon in front of you last month" He said, hanging his head in shame. Gaz's eyes hardened.

"If you my so called friend, then how could you betray me like this?" He asked, voice cold. Ghost refused to answer, looking at the floor.

"Gaz, we really do mean well. I'm sorry it has to be like this. I just can't wait for you to get home" Soap said. Gaz didn't answer him.

The elevator doors opened, and two huge men came out, walking towards Gaz. Each put a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to turn around. Price looked up to see Gaz's heartbroken face struggling to see him as he was led onto the elevator. Gaz's eyes silently pleaded with them, begging to be able to walk out those doors with his friends. Price waved at the doors closed.

"Don't worry. He'll be in Gooood hands" The secretary said. "Have a nice day"

"Thank you ma'am" Price said, before looking at Soap and Ghost.

"Let's go. I need to get out of here before I go after him" Price said. And so the three of them walked out the door.

The next day, the whole base was mopey, not in fresh spirit. Some like Meat, were heartbroken, and others were just plain pissy. There were problems, like Ghost not in the mood to take over Gaz's job to teach weapons class, and Dunn was too sad to monitor people running the pit.

"C'mon now guys. I know loosing...Gaz..has made us all in a non good mood, but-" Price tried to cope with them.

"And the fact that Kamarov can't even toast a bagel without burning it!" Jackson spat.

"Enough! I was going to tell you all earlier, but I have a surprise" Price said, smiling a bit.

"What sort of surprise?" Meat asked. They were interrupted by the base gates opening, a bus rolling in.

"That surprise" Price said. The bus slowly drove to the curb, stopping. Everyone held their breath, thinking Gaz was back. That was impossible though, as he had only been gone one day. They were shocked to see who really was on the bus.

The bus doors opened, and out stepped Shepherd!

Everyone's mouth dropped. It was silent and nobody moved as the bus left again, leaving their former mental general standing before them. Meat was the first to react, shaking.

"Shepherd! Your back!" He shouted, running up to him. Shepherd looked...different. Happier? He slowly smiled, but it looked like it was a forced one.

"Hello...M-Meat" He said through the smile. Meat was very happy, because not once had the general ever smiled at him.

"Hi Shepard! I missed you! Did you miss me? How was it in there? Are you fixed for good?" Meat rambled on. Instead of screaming, Shepherd calmly nodded.

"Yes. Now why don't you all, er, go to the lounge and hang out. I want a word with Price" He said. Everyone including Meat went. Price walked up to Shepherd.

"Glad to be here?" Price asked, smirking.

"No. But despite that matter, they gave me homework. I'm supposed to uh, bond with Meat." Shepherd said, making a face.

"Ah I see. Well, why don't you take him out for ice cream tomorrow? He might like that. They've all been in a bit of a down mood since Gaz has left" Price said.

"Gaz is gone eh? I knew he had enough since to walk out of here. I'm proud of the lad" Shepherd said, smiling. Price shook his head.

"He's coming back. You know how addicted to watermelon he is. There gonna send him back when they think he's ready to deal not eating any" He explained.

"Well in that matter, I have to go plan what I'm going to do about Meat" Shepherd said, turning around to go to his office.

At dinner time, everyone was in the mess hall. Most spirits had lifted slightly, glad to see their General back and healthy. Almost everyone had had a turn to say hi, or shake hands with Shepard. Meat was the happiest of them all.

"Have a seat?" Price asked Shepard, pointing to a chair next to him.

"Already got one," Shepard said, another forced smile. Shepard walked towards Meat and slowly pointed to the conveniently empty chair next to him.

"May I?" Shepard asked through his teeth. Meat's eyes grew wide.

"You mean- for real? YAAYYYY!" Meat clapped happily, his childish spirit clear. Shepard tried to widen his forced smile, but was unsuccessful. Price smirked at the pained expression on Shepard's face. The man clearly didn't smile to often. Shepard looked at the steaming grayish blue glop that was Kamarov's casserole, and filled his plate.

"You really gonna eat that?" Meat asked in wonder. Shepard turned to him, fork clenched tightly in hand, as if for support.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Shepard said.

"Because Kamarov's a really bad cook, if you know what I'm saying," Meat said, winking and nudging Shepard's elbow. Shepard shrugged, and began to eat.

"Wow," was all Meat could say. Shepard finished two whole plates of the dreaded casserole, along with a badly burnt biscuit topped with Kamarov's 'homemade' butter. He washed it all down with his usual coffee with two creams and one sugar. Shepard politely thanked Kamarov for the dinner as he left the room for his private quarters.

The next day, everyone went about through their jobs and training. Price sat in his office, planning captain stuff. He was a bit lonely not having Gaz to sit next to, but he tried to make the best of things.

Meat, Royce, and Roach were in the weapons room, getting ready for sniping lessons. They least expected Shepherd to come through the door.

"Hello Meat" He said, looking like he was in pain, despite the half smile plastered on his face. Meat raised his eyebrows, confused that Shepherd would come up to him. He was happy though.

"Hi Shepherd! Um, how what brings you to this place?" He asked, bouncing slightly in excitement.

"Well, I happen to be free right now, and I was wondering...if you w-wanted to go get ice cream with me?" Shepherd choked. Meat's eyes widened but he broke into a smile.

"Oh boy would I? Right now? Let me go get my jacket! Yay!" He shouted, running out of the room. Shepherd banged his fist onto the wall, cursing silently.

"Having a good time back sir?" Roach asked.

"You could say that if you wanted. I have to go" Shepherd muttered, running out.

Price was sitting at his desk, when the phone started ringing. Sighing, Price reached out to answer it.

"Hello?" He asked, not knowing who it was.

"Price?" A familiar voice asked. It was Gaz! Price turned exited.

"Gaz? How's it going up there? Everyone misses you!" He said.

"It's going bad. Please can I come home? I really don't like it here" Gaz said, in the most saddest voice in existence. It even sent a twinge of guilt to Price.

"Look now, I promise things will get better. Just do what they tell you too, and it will end faster" Price tried to comfort him.

"Whatever. I knew you didn't care! They want me to end my call anyways. See you later" Gaz said, angrily. The line went blank. Price sighed, and went back to work. He didn't know how he could survive the long period without his best friend.

"Price, Price! We've had enough of Kamarov's cooking!" Soap screamed when barging into Price's office, Ghost only a step behind.

"Enough! Kamarov is the COOK, and he will be the COOK weather you like it or not!" Price yelled.

"That's not fair!" Ghost spoke up.

"I don't care what's fair and what's not! I'm ashamed of you behavior. Your both going to mop the mess hall after dinner, and during dinner, you will eat every morsel of your meal!" Price scolded. Soap angrily punched the wall, before him and Ghost left the room.

"This is maddening" Price whispered to himself.

MEANWHILE:

Meat bounced up and down in the passengers seat of Shepherds silver Toyoda jeep. They were on their way to Joe's Sprinkles to get ice cream.

"Are we there yet? Huh? When will we be there?" Meat asked excitedly.

"Er..ten minutes" Shepherd said.

"Well, I'd like to thank you for being so nice!" Meat said, clasping a hand on the Generals back. Shepherd stiffened.

Ten minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot at Joe's Sprinkles, and got in line. Meat was rather too excited, and kept talking about how much he loved ice cream. Shepherd did have to admit that Meat was a good man at heart.

"I'll have a medium chocolate vanilla swirl with rainbow sprinkles on a sugar cone" Meat ordered. The man working behind the counter wrote it down.

"And I'll have coffee ice cream, but two times the cream, one times the sugar" Shepherd ordered his favorite.

"Gotcha" The man behind the counter said, winking. Meat pulled out his wallet, about to pay for his, when Shepherd put a hand on his arm, stopping him.

"This ones on me" He told Meat.

"Gosh, thanks Shepherd!" Meat thanked him. The general nodded, while handing money to the counter man.

As soon as their ice cream was ready, they sat down on a bench under a tree. Shepherd sighed, remembering that part of the homework was to talk to Meat more.

"So...how's that cone treating you?" He attempted to make small talk. Meat stopped licking his cone.

"It's good! I love licking off all the sprinkles first, so then it's cool looking after!" He said.

"Ah. That's good. Are you having a good time in the army?" Shepherd kept up the talk.

"Yeah! You know I joined for friends and stuff and cause my mom wanted me out of the house already, but I guess they said I'm good at military, so that's good to know!" Meat said. That made Shepherd recall distant memories.

"You know I joined the army for friends too. My school therapist said I was anti-social, and that made my parents want me to get a life" Shepherd said.

"Nah uh!" Meat said, thinking it was impossible for his General to be anti-social.

"Oh you better believe it. They were concerned, but now look at how I've turned out" Shepherd said, proudly guesting to himself.

"Ooooh!" Meat said, eyes wide.

As the days passed, most everyone began to be themselves again, despite Gaz not being there. Price was starting to get worse though.

"Price, wanna come for a ride in Nikolai's helicopter? You've been in this room too long. It's not healthy" Soap said.

"Your not healthy" Ghost joked to Soap, only to receive a mock punch to the shoulder.

Price just sighed. "You remember Gaz and I's first mission together? God I miss the old days" He said, more to the photo he was holding, rather than to Soap and Ghost.

"What's that picture?" Ghost asked, but thought he knew.

"Oh this? Take a look for yourself" Price said, passing the photo to the two men.

It was a picture if Gaz, wearing sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt. Price was also in it, wearing a baseball cap backwards, and a small mustache! In between then was an old lady who looked about 90.

"Umm...interesting pic" Soap said, handing it back. Ghost snickered.

Meanwhile, Shepherd was looking around in the barracks. He knew he had to fit in more bonding time with Meat, so he was looking for him. What he came across instead, was a box near Worm's bed.

"Knitting guide for losers?" he muttered, reading the box. That as when a Shepherd idea popped into his head. Why not knit something for Meat? He smiled, running into his quarders, box in his hands.

Roach and Nikolai were sitting in the lounge.

"Hey Nikolai do you think we can talk Price into going out. We can go to the mall, and get some real food!" Roach said, smiling at his idea. Nikolai bounced up from his seat.

"We can give it a try!" he said to Roach. Both were sick and tired of Kamarov's cooking as, much as everyone else.

Roach kicked down Price's office door. To his surprise Price didn't even yell or sigh in fustration. He also saw Soap and Ghost inside.

"Captain Price, please, please, please can we go to the mall? We'll be good! Please?" Nikolai asked.

"Fine, whatever. Soap's incharge, bring everyone who want's to go" Price said, waving them away. Roach scratched his head.

"Arn't you coming sir?" He asked. "I'm not in the mood. Now get!" Price said.

"C'mon guys, let's go gather everyone up" Soap said, putting a hand on Roach's back and giving him a slight push torwards the door.

It turned out that Soap, Ghost, Roach, Nikolai, Meat, Griggs, Kamarov, Worm, Dunn, Foley, and Royce were going to the mall. All sat in the huge truck ment for missions. Ghost drove, while Soap sat in the passenger seat. Everyone else sat in the back.

"Are we almost there?" Meat asked.

"Shut up" Ghost said. Meat closed his mouth, but pressed his face in between Ghost and Soap's seat.

"Soap, when are we going to get there?" Meat whispered to the man in charge. Soap glared at meat, but decided to answer.

"Were there now" He said, pointing out the window to a huge building.

"We'll that was conveinant" Griggs said, fist bumping Meat.

"Okay now, you will all follow the rules of the mall. No stealing, no running, no sticking gum on store shelves, Foley. You all have 50$, spend it wisely" Soap instruced, passing them all money.

"Remember, we all meet back here at five. That gives you two hours" Soap said before letting them leave.

The first twenty minutes went well. Soap and Ghost sat in the food quart, sipping milkshakes. That was until Soap's iPhone rang. He answered it.

"Are you Mr. Mactavish?" A voice asked.

"Yes. Who is this?" Soap asked.

"This is head of the mall Police. We have a man here that says he knows you. His names...Meat. He's with another man named Griggs" The voice said. "Please come to the security ward"

Soap slammed his fist onto the table.

"Dammit! C'mon Ghost, we have to go to the security ward. Meat's gotten himself into trouble, Griggs too! Right in the middle of milkshake time!" Soap said, taking his milkshake and throwing it into the floor. before he could get into trouble, the two men ran from the food quart.

When they reached the security ward, they saw Meat and Griggs sitting at a table, handcuffed. Soap rushed over to them.

"What have you done now?" he hissed. Before Meat could answer, a cop came over to Soap.

"Were giving you a fine of 5,000, due to destruction of property" He said.

"Yes sir. Now tell me what happened. Meat thought about it, and told Soap.

Flashback:

Meat and Griggs knew right where to go when they got inside the mall. The sporting goods store! The both ran inside.

"Oh, look at all this stuff" Griggs said, searching through a tub of gold balls.

"Hey Griggs, look at this!" Meat said, guestering to a golf cart. The keys just happened to be on the seat of it.

Before Griggs could say anything, Meat was already on the seat.

"Hop in Griggs, it's time we went for a stroll!" Meat said, patting the seat beside him. Griggs sighed, but got in. What Meat didn't know, was how to steer a golf cart. They ended up going out of the store, and crashing into multiple shelves. That was when security came.

End of flashback

"You drove a golf cart?" Soap screamed. The cops uncuffed Meat and Griggs.

"Make sure they stay out of trouble" One cop said, winking at Meat.

"They wont. Good day" Soap said. He, Ghost, Griggs, and Meat left the security. Out in the hall, Soap turned to face them.

"Griggs, since this was mostly Meat's idea, your off the hook. Go find Nikolai and Roach or something" Soap told him. Griggs all but ran down the hall. Soap folded his arms, looking at Meat.

"As for you, your going in the truck until we leave, and when we get home, your going to be running 15 laps around the track. And no, Griggs can not join you. Ghost, you'll be supervising Meat's laps" Soap said. "Now go to the car"

Meat hung his head, knowing that he had done a bad thing. He sighed and walked out to the truck. Soap turned to Ghost.

"Think I was too hard on him?" He asked worriedly.

"No. Meat's wise enough to know what's right and what's wrong. Now let's go buy some more milkshakes" Ghost said.

As soon as it was five, everyone gathered back at the truck. Everyone was tired from walking around a mall, so they were unusually quiet. Meat especially. When they got home twenty minutes later, Everyone minus Meat, went off to the showering room.

"C'mon Meat. You got a date with the track" Ghost said. Both of them left, leaving Soap to go see Price.

By the time Meat was done with his punishment, it was 8:00, time for dinner. as soon as Soap saw him, he ran up to Meat.

"Meat, I'm sorry you had to run laps. I just can't have you getting into trouble. Please forgive me?" Soap said.

"Of course I forgive you! I was the one who wanted to drive. I'm sorry" Meat said. soap smiled at him.

"Good. How about you come sit near me and Ghost at dinner?" Soap offered. Meat nodded.

"Sure thing!"

The door to the mess hall opened, and in stepped Shepherd. He was carrying something that looked like a piece of fabric, folded. Shepherd slowly made his way to Meat. He had knitted something for him, but began to think if he had made the right choice. He just hoped Meat would not joke.

He walked over to were Meat was sitting with Soap, Ghost, and Griggs.

"Er...Hello Meat" He awkwardly said. Meat's eyes darted to look at Shepherd, and he broke out into a smile.

"Shepherd, buddy! Whazup?" He asked.

"I made you something. Here" Shepherd thrust the object into Meat's hands.

Meat looked at the fabric, then stretched it out to see what is was. It was infact, a sweater. It was a pea soup color, with black stripes.

"This. Is. THE BEST SWEATER EVER!" Meat screamed, putting it on over his regular shirt. Shepherd almost smiled.

"Well, I have to go" He said, turning, then walked out of the mess hall.

"I'snt he so nice?" Meat said, looking down at his new sweater.

"I think Shepherd bonding with you is creepy, and I think that sweater is ugly" Ghost said in a humorous voice. Meat didn't respond, still super happy about his new sweater.

"Wow. Who would have known Shepherd actually could knit?" Soap said to Ghost.

"I don't know, but let me tell you this. I heard Price talking o himself, debating weather or not to bring Gaz back, cause he misses him so much. Do you think he actually will?"

"I hope so! But...we don't want Gaz at the base with forever digestive problems, so I think they should at least try and fix his addiction" Soap said.

Later that night, everyone was watching a movie. It was some new comedy about a hooker who got kidnapped by a fry cook. Meat, Griggs, Nikolai, and Roach all watched it with interest. Ghost and Soap, not so much. They though the whole thing was bullshit, and decided to go see Price.

"And bring it by soon if you can! I want it as soon as possible!" They both just heard the end of Price's conversation that he was having over the phone.

"Um, who was that?" Soap asked.

"Nothing for you to be concerned about! This is my business, so stop pestering me!" Price thundered.

"Jeez relax, we just wanted to-HOLY SHIT!" Ghost yelled the last part, seeing their captain turn around. Price looked horrible.

"Price, what's wrong with you?" Soap asked, concerned.

"Just miss Gaz is all. I hope they fix him soon" Price said. "Now go tell everyone to shower!"

Soap and Ghost both left the room, a little weirded out by Price.

"Fuck, what's with him and showering? I mean, were in the army for Christ's sake! We don't need to shower every night! I wonder what he would do if we went against him? I'd love to skip showering for a few days! I mean, even on missions he finds ways to make us shower! Remember that mission last month involving the watering can, and a traumatized Meat?" Ghost ranted on.

Soap was only half listening, thinking about something.

"Ghost, I don't have a problem with showers, I do have a problem though. What if Gaz trys running away for beating someone up in there? I mean, he's been through army training." Soap worried.

"Nah, don't you remember those huge guys who took him away? They were twice his size, and had biceps. Good enough to just punch him or something. But I think they have ways, like sedating people" Ghost said.

"Okay your right. Now let's go inform the others that they have to shower" Soap said, smiling as Ghost again, began to complain about showering.

An hour later, everyone was in their bunks. That was when they all heard a muffled noise.

"What the fuck?" Griggs groaned. Everyone was now awake, and Roach, (nearest to the light switch) turned on the lights. They all gasped at what they saw.

Worm and Kamarov were were making out!

"Ewww! Nasty! jeez get a room!" Everyone screamed. The couple were startled, jumped apart.

"S-s-sorry. We just couldn't sleep" Worm whispered. Kamarov was too embarrassed to even look at them.

"Enough! Everyone just go back to sleep!" Price ordered. Roach turned the light back off, and most people slept again.

One person was not sleeping. But this person was a General, and had his own room. Shepherd was sitting at his desk, writing in a notebook. The notebook cover said: Bonding with Meat, on it. He scribbled ideas down, one after another.

The next day, everyone was irritated from lack of sleep, and not wanting to eat Kamarov's suckish food. On the menu today was waffles. Normally they would have been a treat, but Kamarov style waffles involved rice, skim milk, and brown sugar. To top that off, they were burnt. The only one who dared finish his plate was Shepherd. Even Price, who had dared to try a bite, had coughed and gagged, spitting it up.

"God I hate this! The only good thing to eat are those chocolate covered strawberries Royce bought from the mall" Nikolai said.

"You got that right" Foley agreed.

This is how the next two weeks went. Not all bad things happened though. Shepherd had make a great effort to bond with Meat, even though he hated him. He had taken Meat to a concert, taken him to a car show, and Shepherd even sat next to Meat at all meal times except for lunch, which he then sat with Price. But today, he and Meat were going to Nate's restaurant.

"Oh, it says here that Nate's is the top place for relaxation, and fine meals. It's were the wealthy people go! Others go to Burger Town" Meat read from his little city booklet.

"Uh huh. My father used to work here in collage" Shepherd said from the drivers seat, parking in a space big enough for the van they used.

"Did he get good pay?" Meat asked, while they got out of the van.

"I have no idea. My father avoided me mostly. Said I was a pain in his butt crack" Shepherd said. "And he worked mostly anyways. But when he did come home, he and my mother wanted alone time"

"Oh. Hey, look at that! See those windows? Hey are we gonna be eating near a window?" Meat asked, bouncing up and down. Shepherd sighed, and resisted the urge to tell Meat to shut his trap.

They were seated quickly, as it was a Tuesday, and most people were working at this hour. Shepherd ordered a coffee with two creams and one sugar, and the turkey special topped with onion sauce.

Meat got a chocolate milk, and a miniature shrimp pizza. Most of the meal went fine, all except for when Meat saw a little umbrella in an old lady's drink, who was sitting in the booth behind them.

"Oh, can I please have that? You know I have never, ever seen something so small! How much did that cost?" Meat asked the lady while leaning over the table. He accidentally knocked her drink over, and it spilled into the woman's lap.

"Help! Someone get this foolhardy young man away from me!" The elderly woman yelled.

"Don't worry, we were just leaving. Sorry for your trouble's" Shepherd quickly said, slipping 50$ into the ladys hand. He then grabbed Meat by the arm, and ran out.

"What did I do? I just wanted-" Meat started.

"No Meat, enough innocent chatter! You just don't get it! Your the most annoying, brain rattling, thickheaded man on earth! You don't even know the meaning of shut up!" Shepherd exploded.

Meat's shoulders dropped, and he resisted the urge to sob. No person had ever said that to him before! A second later, Meat's sadness was replaced by anger.

"Well your the most snappy, cold-hearted, meanest person ever! And I never wanna talk to you again!" Meat yelled, taking off in another direction.

Instantly, Shepherd felt bad. He had just ruined their bonding for good.

"Meat? Meat I'm sorry! Please come back!" He shouted, looking through the parking lot. This went on until nightfall. Shepherd finally decided to head back to base and see if Meat was there.

"Soap! Have you seen Meat at all?" He asked, bursting into the mess hall.

"Um yeah. Just thirty minutes ago he was here. he seemed upset, but he said he was tired. I think he's in the sleeping barracks" Soap told him. Shepherd patted him on the shoulder in thanks, before running towards Meat's location.

When he got there, he discovered that Meat had locked the door.

"Meat let me in! I have something to say!" He called, pounding on the door.

"Go 'way Shepherd! I don't want to talk!" Meat's voice said from the other side of the door.

"Look, I know what I said was really hurtful! I can't take back what I said, because I already said it. All I can do is apologize. Meat, I am really, really drpreaved at what I said. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean it" Shepherd said. "You mean a lot to me"

Nobody responded behind the door.

"Meat? Are you there?" He called. Still no answer. Shepherd sighed, and turned to leave. He was stopped by hearing the door open. Meat stood there, with red, teared eyes. He sniffled.

"Are you really sorry?" He asked. Shepherd walked back to Meat.

"Of course I am! I swear I didn't mean it!" He said. Meat smiled.

"Okay then. I'm sorry too. I overreacted" Meat said.

"So are you guys all good now?" Nikolai asked, from beside them.

"What, were you here the whole time?" Shepherd asked.

"That doesn't matter. Everything's good now. Except for the fact that we are missing one of the most important people in this army. Gaz. Hopefully things will get better" Nikolai responded. And so they were all happy, well not Price. But perhaps Gaz would come back soon. It was all a matter of time.

The end? What do we say every time? No, It's not the end, thank you very much!

**So I know this chapter was long, but at least I didn't take forever to update, right? So I really wanted to thank you for chapter 7 reviewers, because you guys all made my week. So usually I am too lazy to really respond to reviews, but here's to all chapter 7 reviewers!**

**MacReally: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! I hope you like the next chapter as well!**

**Mangoesaregood8: Lol, I do always make the worst happen to Gaz, although I love him the most ;) as for the tuna salad sandwich, gosh I was craving one so bad! I am really glad you liked it!**

**GrassWing-TreeTail: I am glad you liked the chapter! And thank you so much for loving my writing, it really means a lot to me :)**

**TarTarIcing: I have tried to make the format better, I'm glad you have noticed. Thank you :D**

**SSoHPKC: Thank you, I totally forgot about Ramirez, lol. I now will make more of an attempt to put him in lol. Thank you so much for liking my story!**

**So that's all for you reviewers, I hope you guys liked this chapter. It would make my day if I got some reviews for this chapter :D Well I think you all will like part 9. Let's just say that we might have Gaz joining us! Yay! But what if something is different about him? Oooh, so mysterious, lol. It is already in progress, don't worry :)  
**


	9. Happy? Or just plain Creepy?

**So, so sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I have had a lot going on. Anyway, here it is, finding out about Gaz. Be in for something big. Warning: Sneaky lil' Makarov is included.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own cod or any cod characters.  
**

Trouble with the S.A.S Pt. 9!

Starring: Gaz, Soap, Ghost, Griggs, Meat, Roach, Nikolai, Price, Shepherd, Kamarov, Worm, and many of out other friends from Modern Warfare.

It was a quiet, mellow day at the S.A.S base. Everyone was either at the inside target range, or doing work inside the main buildings. Nobody wanted to go outside, as it was an unusually cold day. The only one who was happy enough to go outside, was Meat. But who could blame him, as he did have that very warm sweater that General Shepherd knitted him.

"Wow, why would Price make us take out the trash on a day like this?" Foley grumbled, as Dunn walked alongside him.

"I got an idea...MEAT!" He shouted. In less than ten seconds, Meat arrived, all warm in his sweater. He never took it off now, except for washing it every few days.

"Oh hey guys! What's up? How's your day going? Mines great so far!" Meat chattered.

"Hey Meat. Do us a favor and take out this trash, will you?" Foley asked, handing it to him.

"Of course I will! Anything for my friends!" Meat said, taking the trash and heading outside.

"Ha, we can get him to do anything by playing nice!" Dunn said excitedly. Foley nodded in agreement. That was when Ghost came into the room.

"Where's Soap?" He asked quickly. "Hello to you too" Dunn muttered.

"He's in cleaning out the basement, why?" Foley answered.

"Because I need him to help me with something!" Ghost said in annoyance, as if they should have known. Before anyone could say anything else, the basement door opened, and Soap came up, holding three big boxes.

"There you are! I need your help to bring in the new refrigerator to the kitchen, I can't lift it alone" Ghost said. Soap dropped the boxes.

"Fine, but it has to be quick. Price said i had to get this done by lunchtime, or I would have to eat all of Kamarov's meal" Soap said, following him out the door.

"Nooooo! Please spare me! I'm sorry!" A screaming voice came from Price's office.

"Shite, what the hell! Let's go!" Soap said, as he and Ghost ran to the screaming. Inside Price's office, was Ramirez, backed against the wall, shaking.

"What the bloody hell's going on?" Ghost demanded an answer.

"He painted the bathroom walls blue! Blue! I told him to paint them DARK blue!" Price yelled in anger. He was shockingly holding a loaded MP5 in his hands.

"Calm down Captain! Just put that thing down" Soap said. He slowly walked up to Price, and swatted his arm, causing Price to drop the gun. Price stared off into space for a moment.

"Um, oh crap, Ramirez, I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me. I guess I just miss Gaz. You can go now" Price said. Ramirez ran full speed out of the office.

"I know you miss Gaz, but do you really have to terrify everyone you lay eyes on?" Soap asked, sitting down in a chair.

"Yes, but if I had Gaz here, then I would be hanging out with him instead of doing that. Do you think we should send for him back?" Price asked.

"No! We want him better, and your the one who decided to send him there. Your one of the only men I know who will stick to his decisions, instead of letting his feelings turn him around! Just let them do what is nessasary to make Gaz better. Who knows, we could get a call saying he's better, any day now!" Soap made a long, boring speech.

"I'm leaving, this is boring. Have fun" Ghost said, exiting the room.

"All right, I'll just deal with it. Thanks for being there for me" Price said. Clearly, this was the end of the conversation. Soap stood up, and departed the room.

Soon it was time for lunch. Luckily, everyone had finished their chores, so they could avoid eating Kamavov's beef stew. The beef stew was made up of water, and non heated veggies poured straight from the can. Small frozen chicken nuggets had been dropped in as well. Everyone shuddered when Shepherd ate it.

"Price, there's someone on the phone for you. Some sort of facility?" Worm said, calling into the mess hall. Price, who had been drinking cola, spit it out, and ran out out to the phone room. Soap and Ghost followed. It had to be about Gaz!

"Hello? Who is this?" Price asked into the phone.

"Hello, this is Dr. Shizzum. We met in the past?" A lady said from the other line. Price remembered her clearly.

"Ah hello Dr. Shizzum. How is Gaz? Is he doing okay?" Price frantically asked, almost jumping up and down in excitement.

"More than okay actually. We think he's ready to come home" She responded. Price raised his fist in the air.

"YES! Er, I mean...when do we come get him?" Price tried to stay calm.

"Tomorrow afternoon will work fine. We look forward to seeing you. Gaz does too" She said, before hanging up.

"Is he coming home?" Ghost asked.

"Yeah, tomorrow! He's coming home! Wooo!" Price said. He ran into the mess hall.

"Everyone! Gaz is coming home tomorrow!" He screamed to all the men. The mess hall erupted into cheering.

"Soap, Ghost. You too are coming with me tomorrow to pick him up" Price said.

"Yes sir! This is wonderful!" Soap said. Gaz had been gone at Sunny Side , a fruit addiction rehab center, for a few months, getting cured from his addiction to watermelon. Everyone had missed him, and now he was finally coming home!

"Gaz is coming home, Gaz is coming home!" Meat sang. Griggs, Roach, and Nikolai all clapped.

"We have to get things ready! Let's make him a card that says welcome back!" Meat suggested. Everyone eagerly agreed, getting to work.

Price however, was in his office, getting ready to have Gaz back. He thought about what they would do when they got back. He would defiantly make more of an attempt to hang out with him more.

That night, Ghost and Soap decided to...do some things. They went into Price's office, seeing that he was not there. Ghost pulled out super glue, while Soap got some glitter.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Soap asked.

"Of course! He will never know it was us. I mean, were his number one followers!" Ghost reassured his pal.

"Okay then, let's-" But they were inturrupted by the door opening. In stepped...I bet you though it would be Price, but instead, in stepped...Shepherd!

"Price I was just-Gah, what are you two doing in here?" Their General shouted, then spied the glue and glitter.

"What the hell were you two up to?" He asked again. Ghost gulped.

"Um, just gonna do some decorating to Price's office...sir" He whispered. Soap shook his head. Why did Ghost's ideas always get them caught? Before he could think of anything else, Price came into his office.

"Price, Soap and Ghost were-"

"I don't care what they've done, I have to get some business done! Out!" Price said. All three quickly left.

"Don't you think that I will forget about this" Shepherd warned, before leaving them in the empty hallway. Soap and Ghost looked at eachother.

"This is your fault! It was your idea!" Soap blamed Ghost.

"You could have said no, therefor you are just as guilty as me" Ghost replied.

"Whatever. Let's go find Meat" Soap said, turning to go down the hall.

"Hey Shepherd!" Meat says, skipping happily into his General's office. Shepherd glanced up from his paper work, stifling a sigh.

"Yes Meat?" He asked, hoping it was quick.

"Well, I was just thinking, Do you think that when they asked George Washington for his ID, he just showed them a quarter?" Meat asked. This was it, what Shepherd hated most. He thought that Meat had stopped with the questions!

"Meat..I...GET OUT NOW!" Shepherd burst out. Meat saluted, before leaving. Shepherd let his head drop down on his desk.

"Why me? But I wonder...did he show them a quarter?" Shepherd mused to himself.

"Roach, is Gaz's bed ready? And all his other stuff?" Price called into the sleeping barrack. He came in to Roach, Meat, and Nikolai there. Meat was under the bed.

"Woah! Gaz has a whole bunch a stuff under here! Hey I found his happy fruit cd!" His muffled voice called.

"Well...I'll leave you guys to do that. We leave early tomorrow to get there in time. It will be an all day thing, due to the distance of that place. I expect you three to be good. Meat. We should be back around 5, so just uh, don't do anything dumb. Shepherd will be watching you guys" Price informed them.

"Shepherd? Yay! I can't wait for tomorrow!" Meat sang.

"I cant either. Just think, Gaz will be back!" Nikolai said. Roach nodded in agreement.

"Do you think he remembers us?" Meat asked suddenly, looking scared.

"Of course! He left In the end of July, and now It's early October! That's only a few months! Nobody forgets a person in three months" Roach reassured his friend.

"Okay. I guess your right" Meat said. Nikolai then looked at his watch.

"Time for dinner. Oh joy" He said, rolling his eyes. Tonight's special was onion chowder, and peanut butter sandwich's. Normally that would have been fine, but Kamarov was the worst cook ever!

At dinner, everyone sat silent, staring at the revolting mush on their plates. Who knew that it was possible for chowder could be clear water, with uncooked chopped up onions floating around inside.

"Fuck, this is nasty" Ghost whispered to Soap, who was staring at his food with a look of horror.

"We could try a sandwich?" Soap offered. The both of them got up and walked towards the table that held the side dishes and drinks. Soap picked up a sandwich and studied it closely.

"What is that black liquid drizzled over the peanut butter, and why does it smell weird?" Ghost asked the question that Soap was thinking. He gently placed the sandwich back, and they both ran to their seats.

Meanwhile, Meat sat next to his "buddy" Shepherd. He watched with wide eyes as his general gobbled down the chowder, and two sandwich's with no problem.

"How do you do that Shepherd?" He asked. Shepherd put down his spoon, and glanced at Meat.

"Do what?" He asked.

"Well...how do you eat?" Meat asked in wonder. Shepherd gave him a odd look.

"Well...we all eat. What did they teach you in selection?" Shepherd asked Meat, thinking the young lad was crazy. Meat just shrugged.

"Price! We want real food, not Kamarov! Make the cooks come back!" Ghost yelled. Price glared at him from his seat.

"Shut up and eat your dinner!" He spat.

"No! We want food! We want food!" Ghost started chanting. He pushed back his chair and climbed onto the table, continuing his chant. Everyone watched with their mouths dropped open. That was when Nikolai stood up, making Roach follow. The three of them still chanted, and others joined.

"FINE! Fine! Go into the kitchen and find something for yourselves!" Price could take no more. Kamarov was beet red of embarrassment, but he followed the crowd into the kitchen.

"English!" An all to familiar voice then shouted. Ghost slowly turned around, as everyone saw the mess hall door open. Now who was in the doorway? Why fat man Roba of course.

"Roba! What the fuck? I told you to stay off base you fat Mexican!" Ghost said. Shepherd then stood up.

"Hold on a minute, hold on! Who is fat man Roba? The man who captured you Ghost?" He asked, not understanding anything that was going on.

"English! I have returned, along with this good tasting sandwich from subway!" Roba held up his 10 foot long sandwich with pride. He was not small enough to fit through the door, so only part of his too fat body could be shown.

"He has real food? I want some!" Meat shouted. "Yeah, we want some too!" Griggs said. That made everyone in the mess hall, except for Price and Shepherd, start running towards Roba.

"AHHHHHH! NOOOOO!" Roba screamed, as they all pounced onto him, scratching and tearing up his clothing, searching him for other food. His sandwich had already been stolen and eaten, as well as the m&m's that he had hidden in his pocket. Roba then ran out the door, and off the base. Everyone clapped.

"Okay, you all have a long day tomorrow, and you get to see Gaz. Why don't you all shower then get to bed?" Price said. All the men filed out the doorway, Ghost complaining about showering. Gaz would be complaining too, if he were there. Those two sure did hate showering.

"You too. It's going to be a long drive tomorrow, so no fooling okay?" Price asked Soap and Ghost before they left.

"Yessir. Nothing to worry about" Soap reassured him. Price smiled and went to his office.

The next day, Price, Soap, and Ghost all got into a military truck. Ghost drove, while Soap and Price slept for the first hour. They then decided to stop and get some breakfast at the drive through at McDonalds. Soon again, they were off.

"Hey look, were almost at Sunny Side!" Soap said, looking at a sign.

"Yes!" Price hissed.

Ghost then pulled up to the golden gates, which two cops were guarding. They opened the gate up for them. Ghost found a parking spot, and they all quickly got out.

The lobby was the same as it was last time. It was sunny and bright. This time, nobody else was waiting in the lobby. The secretary spotted them from her desk. Price walked up to her, with Ghost and Soap right behind.

"Were here to pick up Gaz" Price informed her. The lady smiled, showing her ugly teeth and her wrinkles widened. She reached for a red button on the wall next to her.

"Rob, bring down Gaz. He's ready" he said into it. "Rodger" A reply came. For the next few minutes, all they could do was stand quietly and listen to the classical music that played in the backround.

The elevater doors then opened. Out walked two huge men (same from last time), Dr. Shizzum, and Gaz! They all looked happy. And by all, Gaz was included. A huge toothy smile was plastered in his face.

"Gaz! We've missed you! You can finally come home!" Ghost said.

"Yeah Gaz, the base has been like crap without you around!" Soap added.

"Gaz, I'm so glad you can come back! I have missed you the most!" Price said lastly. Gaz still smiled at them.

"Yes. Hello to you as well. It has been a pleasant time here" Gaz spoke for the first time. He seemed...at ease?

"Gaz is all cured. Were all friends now. Now Gaz, we'll miss you!" Shizzum said.

"Goodbye Dr." Gaz said, walking to his friends. Ghost and Soap crushed him into a hug.

"Bye Rob. I'll miss you!" Gaz said, going back to hug one of the big men. He patted Gaz's back.

"Ready to get out of here Gaz?" Price asked.

Gaz sighed. "Yes I suppose. It will be lovely to see my pals" He said. Ghost and Soap looked at each other, wondering if Gaz was okay. Price broke the silence.

"Well...why don't we all go to the truck?" He suggested.

As they drove home, everyone noticed something... Different. For one, the smile on Gaz's face looked like it had been surgically put on, and it never broke, or changed, even when he talked.

"So Gaz, how was your time at Sunny Side?" Price asked wholeheartedly.

"Oh, by George it was wonderful! We did many activities and developed useful learning skills! It was wonderful. Just wonderful..." Gaz seemed to trail off, thinking some happy thought. It was strange that he never blinked while looking at Price. Kind of creepy too.

"Yes, well, I've got the showers all ready for you when we get back Gaz!" Price said excitedly.

"Of course! Proper heigeine is one of the laws of staying sober!" Gaz said, the expression in his voice never changing from its cheery drawl. Price seemed to enjoy this, continuing the bland conversation with Gaz. Soap and Ghost couldn't get a word in edgewise. So they talked to eachother.

"Does Gaz seem a bit to happy to you?" Ghost asked Soap.

"I think he's just being polite. I'm sure he'll be himself on base." Soap replied. They noticed other strange ways Gaz acted on the trip home. Not once did the smile break, and his tone never changed. When they stopped at Mcdonald's again for dinner, one of Gaz's favorite places to eat, Gaz politely declined Price's generous offer of a triple big mac meal, and instead withdrew a ziplock bag of granola and raisins, placing a napkin in his lap, and eating them with a fork.

"He's so... Different!" Ghost said.

"Yeah, he's acting a bit strange." Soap said, a bit concerned.

When they got back to base, as soon as the truck door slammed, everyone was in the parking lot. As soon as Gaz stepped out, he was swarmed with hugs.

"How wonderful to see you my friend!"

"Good to have you back! I hope you enjoy my cooking more than Ghost!"

"SHEPARD KNITTED ME THIS SWEATER! YOU LIKE IT, HUH?"

"Now, now, we can all recount our many misadventures tomorrow. I must hit the showers then get my rest." Gaz simply said. Price patted Gaz on the back, grinning happily.

"Good man! But before you bed, we _must_ catch up. Come to my office at ten?" Price said.

"Well of course Captain! You are my superior officer after all!" Gaz said monotonously through his wide smile. Price smiled wider and patted Gaz on the back again, then walked bouncily to his office. The others happily went to bed, except for Ghost, Soap, Nikolai, and Roach.

"What was with him?" Roach asked, a bit confused.

"He was acting freaky the whole way home!" Ghost said.

"He certainly was different. I have known no one but Ghost who used to hate showering as much, and now he accepted it? WANTED IT?" Nikolai said.

"Calm down Nikolai. Maybe he just needs some sleep." Soap said, always thinking logically.

But sleep apparently did nothing for Gaz. In the middle of the night, they heard Meat crying.

"Meat, what's the matter?" Soap asked.

"Gaz is scaring meeeeeeeeee!" Meat cried.

"Wha-?" Then Soap saw Gaz. The same fakish smile was plastered on his face, even in sleep. The creepiest part was that his eyes were wide open. Soap waved his hand in front of Gaz's face. Nothing happened, not a flinch.

"Gaz? GAZ?" Soap raised his voice. Gaz eerily turned his head without a blink, the smile not breaking.

"Yes Soap? I don't believe it is morning yet?" Gaz said in his unchanging voice. Soap's face clearly showed that he was creeped out.

"No, just checking in. You settling back in well?" Soap asked hesitantly.

"Yes, I'm stellar. Why wouldn't I be?" asked Gaz.

"Uh, uh no reason. Im going back to bed now." Soap said, a bit scared.

"Of course." Gaz said, slowly turning his head back to stare at nothing, completely unblinking. Meat whimpered.

"Just ignore him Meat." Soap said, pulling Meat back to his bed.

"He is a tad scary isn't he Wormy dear?" asked Kamarov, stroking Worm's hair gently. Worm simply nodded.

"Enough! Go to sleep!" Ghost said, burying his head under his pillow. Soap turned off the light and they all slept.

Over the next few days everyone noticed the change that Gaz had made. Everyone except for Price, it seemed. Gaz for one, ate every singe meal that Kamarov cooked! Every single one! Including his fish n' dip. Another thing was that Gaz still kept smiling! No change at all. Though Gaz was still lovely on the battlefield, he always never talked during it, saying that it would loose his concentration. How funny, Gaz always talked on the battlefield... And that was why Soap and Ghost wanted a word with Price.

"Er, Price? Do you have a minute?" Soap asked nervously, as he and his buddy entered their Captain's office. Price smiled at them happily, shuffling away at his paper work.

"Er, can we talk to you about Gaz?" Ghost asked.

"Well of course! Anything for some of the best soldiers I have around base!" Price said with a slight chuckle. Ghost and Soap looked at eachother.

"We noticed he has been acting a bit... Strange." Ghost said.

"How do you figure?" Price asked, not really paying attention.

"He's to perfect!" Soap cut in. Price dropped his paperwork and his smile faded.

"Bastards! How DARE you insult my BEST soldier, my best FRIEND for that matter!" Price hissed menacingly. Soap and Ghost backed up a step, holding their hands up.

"Were just saying, he sleeps with his eyes open! And he always frickin smiles!" Ghost said.

"And poor Meat's going crazy! He can hardly sleep!" Soap added in.

"You will NOT insult him! The man takes TWO SHOWERS A DAY! TWO!" Price yelled, standing and holding up two fingers, as if they were deaf.

"Have you really ever thought about how much water your wasting? Honestly, the bloody Yanks are better at preserving water than you! They really ARE the good guys!" Ghost yelled. Price's face grew beet red and his mustache stood on end.

"You two are grounded for three days! Now get out!" Price yelled.

"But tomorrow's movie night!" Soap complained, not wanting to miss the movie.

"Well that's just to bad isn't it! Now go! I don't want to see either of you till dinner! And take a shower for pete's sake!" Price said sitting down. He picked up his paperwork and wrote signitures angrily. Soap and Ghost simply gave up, leaving sadly for the showers.

Shepard was beginning to notice something odd about the boy that had come back. But it was quite nice now that Gaz would get Shepard's coffee for him, two creams and one sugar, whenever he needed it. Shepard smiled as he gently sipped the hot coffee. This was great! Until now... Meat came skipping into the room. Shepard sighed and put down his coffee, preparing himself for whatever Meat was about to say.

"Shepard! Palm me!" Meat said, holding up his hand. Shepard simply stared at his hand, a bit confused.

"Excuse me?" Shepard asked.

"Don't you know what a high five is buddy?" Meat asked, a bit shocked.

"My father never taught me..." Shepard said, realising that this was pathetic of him.

"Well I'll teach ya pal!" Meat said excited.

"Just put your hand up like this..." Meat said grinning. Shepard did.

"Now slap my hand and I slap yours at the same time!" Shepard did, a bit hesitant at first. Shepard's lips slowly began to form a smile. A SMILE! Shepard grinned for the FIRST TIME! Now Meat was smiling, and soon they were both laughing, high fiving again.

Gaz sat at the dinner table, smiling and eating Kamarov's specialty: Meatloaf with a side dish of corn chowder. The meatloaf wasn't actually beef; it was made up of blended up pork chops topped with microwaved ketchup. The corn chowder was a cold mix of tap water, some milk, and one can of corn. Gaz ate it all happily, and Kamarov was so full of joy it brought a tear to his eye.

"Kamarov this is simply delicious. Quite healthy as well! I enjoy this very much." Gaz said.

"Why thank you! So very much! Would you like another serving Gaz?" Kamarov replied happily.

"Oh yes, very much! One can never get to much healthy food!" Gaz said, politely eating with his fork and spoon. Dunn watched with interest, then nudged Foley.

"Sarge, we can't seriously eat this stuff!" He whispered to Foley.

"What do you wan't me to do about it?"

"Get Meat over here!" Dunn said, nodding in Meat's direction.

"Hey Meat! Can I have a word with you?" Foley yelled across the dining hall. Meat excitedly ran over.

"Yeah? What is it? Is it about Shepard?" Meat asked quickly. Foley looked at Dunn with a smirk.

"This food is sick. You wanna go sneak us some real food from the kitchen?" Dunn asked him.

"I guess so. This food is pretty gross... But what if I get in trouble?" Meat asked hesitantly. Dunn grinned.

"Don't worry. You won't." Meat happily skipped to the kitchen.

"That boy is so damn gullible! And what is it with him and Shepard?" Foley could only shrug.

Everyone started getting back into average routine again by the end of the week. Gaz did a super job at everything, always the best at everything. Price was delited by this, and seemed to do anything he could to make Gaz look better than everyone else. Everyone was getting mad. It was morning, and everyone was running the track. Everyone was sweating and exhausted, but Gaz was at the head of the group by 2 laps, smiling and not a drop of sweat coming from him.

"Come on everyone, you should be at Gaz's pace! Pick it up people, Gaz is making you all look like pansy poo's!" Price yelled from the lookout tower.

"I'd like to see him do it!" Ghost hissed to Soap, who silently agreed.

They spent the rest of the day doing hurdles, and then after lunch they did hard long exercises, including crunches, push ups, jumping jacks, and weight lifting. It left all of them but Gaz, swetting and tired.

"All right everyone, showers then free time! Make sure to get to bed before ten!" Price finally yelled. They all sighed with relief and all but ran to the showers.

"Ah, wasn't that a wonderful time? I certainly enjoyed the hurdles!" Gaz chitter chattered.

"You certainly don't look warned out!" Jackson spit at him. Ramirez smacked him.

"Are you all ready to scrub a dub dub?" Gaz asked cheerfully.

"No. Showers are not fun" Meat said. However, they still all took long hot showers to rid the sweat and grime that clung to their skin.

About an hour later, everyone was in the lounge hanging out. Well, everyone but Price and Gaz. They were talking and 'socilizing' as Gaz put it.

In the lounge, Shepherd even joined them, as they all complained about Gaz.

"He think's Kamarov's food is healthy! Oh, no offense Kamarov" Foley said.

"He likes showering! Loves it!" Ghost put in.

"And I asked him if I could listen to his happy fruit cd, and he said it was trash to the head!" Meat said in horror.

"See, the Happy Fruits used to be his favorite band! He now enjoys granola more than melon" Soap added.

"All right, alright! Now we all need to think of idea's to make Gaz be cheerful in a dispassionate way" Shepherd said, gaining control over the conversation.

"Yeah, like he said! Good old Shepherd always knows what to do! High five!" Meat said. Shepherd happily complied.

Suddenly, the lights dimmed, and the blank tv went all loud and fuzzy.

"What the hell? Meat, did you leave your popon fizzle soda on the tv again without a cover?" Dunn asked.

"What? No, no of course not! That was only once!" Meat said, wide eyed.

"Is it working? Testing, testing!" An all too familiar voice said.

"Sneaky lil' Makarov?" Soap asked, not believing what he saw on the screen. Yes, sneaky lil' Makarov's face was right on the screen! It looked like it was being brodcasted live!

"Ha! Yes it is I, the lil' sneakster!" Makarov said, grinning evilly.

"Oh no! I'll go get a gun to shoot him!" Meat said, about to run out of the room. Shepherd grabbed him by the arm.

"You can't shoot him! He's in the tv!" He informed the younger man. Makarov chuckled.

"Ah, your General is right! Besides, I think you will find this conversation a little bit interesting" He said.

"How dare you show your face at base again! After pulling all those pranks on us awhile ago!" Soap said angerly. (See second chapter 2 if you do not know about the pranks)

"Oh but listen, my fine Scottish friend. I could not help but become interested in your little problem with Gaz, so I have decided to step i and-" Makarov began, but was inturrupted.

"Hang on! How do YOU, know about Gaz's problem?" Ghost asked.

"Hahaha I though you would ask that question. You see, I was at the laundry mat the other day, when I overheard Ghost and Soap talking about Gaz's strangeness. And then I heard that it had begun after he came home from Sunnyside" Makarov explained.

Ghost and Soap's mouth both popped into 'o' forms.

"So you see, it all started four years ago, before I had turned into a power mad terrorist. I worked at a jainitor at Sunnyside" Makarov began. That was when the tv switched into black and white footage. It showed Makarov in a bathtub with a woman...

"Ah! Dammit Victor, that's the wrong tape!" Makarov's voice yelled in embarassment.

The screen switched and it showed Makarov in a jainitor's outfit, standing in a hall, mopping the floors. He had a curly mustache.

"And then, being sneaky as I was, I began to wonder what went on in this place" Makarov narrated some more.

The tv then showed Makarov drop his mop and wander over to a door that was partly cracked. He peeked in, then gasped. The scene switched to what was in the room. The gray room was filled with doctors supplies. A long table was lined with syringes and other creepy tools. But that was not the extra super scary part.

A young woman was strapped to a big metal table in the middle of the room. She was screaming and struggling to rip the binds. Two doctors in white coats and face masks were leaning over her, and one held a syringe. On the side of it was labled, "Happy thoughts."

"I then saw them do something terrible"

The doctor holding the shot, then injected it into the poor girls head, clearly aimed for the brain.

Everyone gasped as they saw it on the screen. They all turned white as a sheet. Had the doctors done this to Gaz?

"Meat, get out of the room! I don't want this scarring your mind" Shepherd said. Meat ran from the room.

They all turned their attention back to the screen. The woman shuttered and screamed, before her eyes went blank. It took a second before the syringe was taken out. Her eyes twitched, and she then smiled. This was a smile just like the one Gaz wore. She then started to laugh.

"So you see, I became more interested in what went on at this place" Makarov continued.

Two huge men walked out of a dark corner of the room. The resembled the big men that had dragged Gaz away when he first went to Sunnyside. The unstrapped the girl, and led her to the door. Makarov quickly ran back to his mop, and shakily winked to the camera.

"So for the next few weeks, I started peeking into the rooms and watching what they did"

It showed a cafiteria type place. They were drinking milk and eating granola. The meal menu had these as the only options. The seen switched again, and it showed groups of people strapped to chairs. A doctor was reading them a book called "Happiness makes me happy" and every time a person tried to get out, or screamed, they were shocked.

"Fuck" Ghost whisperd. The screen then showed what the bedrooms were like. They were very small, and the doors were metal and locked. They consisted of a small bed with restraints, a book labled "Happy Bible", and a bin with gray sweatpants and gray shirts.

"And so you see, this is why Gaz is acting like a happy person all the time" Makarov finished. The screen went back to his smug face. Kamarov was the first to speak.

"I-is he always gonna be like that now?" He asked.

"They hurt Gaz" Soap whispered.

Makarov decided to respond to Kamarov's words.

"Well...there is one way. The sacred watermelon otta do the trick"

"Sacred watermelon?" Shepherd asked.

"Yes. Located in Rio. You can find the location by talking to Alejandra Rojas. He lives there, and can tell you were exactly it is." Makarov told them.

"That's it then. Were going to Rio. Okay, Ghost I need you to bring someone and gets weapons ready" Shepherd started to say.

"Oh you won't be needing weapons. People in Rio are very nice there. They hate to resolve to violence." Makarov quickly said. Shepherd seemed to think about this, not ready to fully trust Makarov.

"Okay then get us two tranquilizer guns, full amo. Just in case we run into enemys." He said.

"Goodbye my lovely army men. Good luck on your journey" Makarov said, as his face slwoly faded.

"Okay, someone go get Meat. We need to discuss our mission" Shepherd said. Jackson ran out. He soon returned with a wide eyes Meat.

"Shepherd...did that happen to Gaz too?" He quietly asked. Shepherd swallowed, and nodded.

"Yes, and that's why were gonna fix him. Just everyone hear me out" he said.

"Okay, so these are the people were gonna bring. Some must stay behind, because we need people guarding the base, and making sure Gaz doesn't do anything irrational. So now were gonna need Soap, Ghost, Royce, Meat, Boomer, and that's all. Remember, we can't have too many gone. Griggs, I would have had you, but Meat is better at reasoning with people, and I don't want you distracting him since your buddies. The rest of you will lay low" Shepherd said.

"When do we leave?" Soap asked.

"Tomorrow night" Shepherd replied. "But first I need you and Ghost to come with me. We have to show Price this footage and get him to reason with us. Luckly, I recorded the Sunnyside footage" Shepherd said.

Half an hour later, Price was convinced after watching it. He decided that he would stay here with Gaz instead of coming along.

"Soap, you be captain since you have experience. Ghost, you be the Lt." Price said. Soap nodded.

"So that's it then. Were going to Rio" Ghost said.

"Were going to Rio" Shepherd said.

Stay tuned for next chapter, making fun of mw2 mission Takedown, and the Hornet's Nest.

**Hey everyone, I am so, so glad to have finally submit Trouble 9! Honestly, I cannot apologize enough! Please forgive me! And I do hope you review. I shall now respond for reviewers from chapter 8!**

**Jacob: Yay, I'm glad you love it! And I have put in more Meat questions as you have read in this chapter. You suggestion was great! And I do plan on making Shepherd come up with answers to them! As you could see now, he was questioning them with himself. Keep reviewing!**

**Warhammer 2-4: hahah I laughed when I read your review, and it made me wanna put a lot of Meat randomish in this one! hahah thaks for the review, I hope I see more of em!**

**Seananners: Lol wonderful review! Yeah, I laughed while typing the mall scene. I hope this one was happier than the last one :) I'm glad you liked it!**

**Grasswing-treeTail" hehehe I decided to go along with your suggestions and put in Makarov! And I tried to put in more funny trouble with Ghost and Soap. I love your reviews and hope to see more! Thanks for staying with me all throughout this story!**

**CyberCommando: I am so delighted yo hear that you have been sticking with this story! I hope you liked this chapter! And let me tell you this my friend, they are going to be attacking Sunnyside soon ;)**

**Handle the scorpion rider: I missed Gaz too, that's why I put him back in. Though it wasn't really Gaz in this one was it? Haha don't you worry, well see if they can save Gaz's mind.**

**Mangoesaregood8: Thank's for the review! I hope you will be able to see them soon. I wen't through the same thing with one of my really good friends. Thank's for reviewing.**

**Well that's about it. I really hope I get a lot of reviews for this one! If you know friends, you can always suggest to them to read this ;) But anyway, I hope you are all having a nice summer, though it is ending soon. Stick with the story, next chapter is already in progress!  
**


	10. Melons can help!

Trouble with the S.A.S Pt. 10!

Starring: Soap, Ghost, Meat, Royce, Shepherd, Gaz, Boomer, and many of our other friends from cod!

Everything today was...not normal. Infact, it was exactly the opposite of that! The reason was Gaz. Well, Gaz was normally the reason for everything, besides Meat. Now really, people enjoy happiness but after seeing Gaz come back from Sunnyside Food Rehab Facillity, they are now afraid of it. Meat was scared to death to go to sleep every night, Ghost was creeped out at Gaz's enthusiasm for showering, and Soap thought it was just plain weird that he was one the ones who LIKED Kamarov's cooking. Now Shepherd was the General, he had to eat it to set an example, but Gaz? He was usually the first to rebel against something.

This was why a group of the S.A.S were going to Rio, to get the sacred melon. In any other situation, they never would have trusted info from Makarov, but in a situation that involves their most valuable, skilled, and fun solider, well...lets just say there was some exceptions.

So now, Soap was leading as captain once again, with Ghost by his side as the Lt. Then of course we have Meat, Royce, and then Boomer. Shepherd would not be attending on the ground with them, but instead, he would patrol the skies using his new red and white hang glider. They were now getting ready to leave for tonight.

"Hey guys? I just thought of something" Meat said, standing in the middle of the sleeping barrack. Everyone else was packing and getting their gear ready.

"Not now Meat, save it until we leave" Soap said, busily throwing some shirts onto the bed.

"But-"

"So what time are we leaving?" Ghost asked. Soap thought for a moment.

"I think Shepherd will be debriefing us in a bit" He said. And so they all continued packing, and then went to dinner.

"Hello there. Have a nice afternoon?" Gaz asked, smiling STILL! But Gaz had been back for a good while, so they were used to his new odd behavior.

"Fine Gaz, just fine!" Soap said, in a rather cheerful tone, knowing that if the mission was successful, they would have their friend back.

"I hear Kamarov's making Cream of Custard today...yuck" Ghost whispered to Meat.

"Blech! I don't think I'm too hungery tonight" Meat said, making a scrunched up face. Them he seemed to think of something else.

"Ghost, I was still wondering from earlier-"

"Not now Meat, we have to listen to Price's Friday night dinner speech" Ghost said with great annoyance as they took their seats.

Price stood up and cleared his throught. "So, another week of training has yet again passed by. That means those of you remaining here are allowed to stay up later, and to sleep in till seven tomorrow" He began his speetch.

"Seven? That's two extra hours of sleep!" Paul Jackson commented to cpl. Dunn.

"And tonight you all can stay up an hour later than usual, and you all have free access to the lounge until eleven. Let dinner be served!" Price finished. The last sentence made them all groan except for Gaz and Shepherd.

"Price, couldn't we just skip dinner, and move on to ice cream?" Ghost asked. He received a death glare from the caption.

"Don't make him mad right now! We haven't any time for a Price lecture. Remember Ghost, right after dinner we have to report to Shepherds office. He'll be debriefing us on our mission" Soap told his best friend.

20 minutes later...

"So, are you all packed and ready?" Shepherd asked the small group of soldiers. He received a bunch of nods.

"All righty then...so we have two emergency tranquilizer guns, food, the locations...wait a sec, I think were missing something" Shepherd mused.

"Hmm...Of fuck we need transportation!" Soap said.

"I tried to tell you! I wanted to ask 'How are we gonna get their' but you people wouldn't listen to me!" Meat grumbled.

"Sorry pal" Ghost said, patting Meat on the back.

"Do you think Nikolai would come with us and be our pilot? He's the only one around here with enough skill to take off and land properly" Shepherd wondered.

"Ha, rough luck! Tonight is Friday, which means Nikolai's favorite Soap opra is going to be playing. He hates to miss it" Meat informed them.

"Fine then, Ghost, Soap! You two will go beg Nikolai to come. Promise him anything" Shepherd ordered. The two soldiers set off.

In the lounge:

Nikolai was very happy. He was seated on the love seat couch, with a fresh bag of popcorn, and some cherry pepsi. This was a Nikolai kinda night, because his favorite show was on. Nancy and the Three Fellows was coming on in about ten minutes. That was when Soap came running in, with Ghost right behind.

"Nikolai, my man, my buddy! What's cooking?" Ghost asked. Nikolai slowly swallowed the popcorn that he was chewing, and nervously looked at his friends.

"Um, hello. To what do I owe this pleasure?" He asked.

"Well you see, remember the other day when Sneaky lil' Makarov came onto the Tv, and showed us what was wrong with Gaz, so now some of us have to go on a mission to Rio to get the sacred watermelon?" Soap asked.

"Yes. Good luck on the mission" Nikolai said cautiously, not liking were this was going.

"Well you see, we've run into a small problem. We were so caught up on how we were gonna get the melon, that we forgot how we were gonna get their. We never got the chance to find a pilot-"

"No" Nikolai strongly declined.

"Aw c'mon Nikki, we didn't even finish!" Ghost complained.

"I said no! You know tonight is the night my show is on! I have to find out if Nancy will tell off Jonas! That's my final word!" Nikolai said, trying to end the discussion.

"But Shepherd said to make you come. He said well do anything for you if you just help us out this one time!" Soap said frantically. Nikolai seemed to think.

"Well...fine but only on one condition. Roach comes to. I need a close friend to talk to" He said, satisfied with his demand.

"But Nikolai! You know how Roach has...er...bad luck. Like take the mission were we rescued Price from the prison for instance. A brick the size of a serving plate fell on his head! And then remember that time last month when we were at the park, and Meat's baseball?" Soap said.

Sure Roach was a good soldier, but he did always seem to be the one who got it the worst. Soap could remember many times when the young man had painful, embarassing, or just plain bad things happen to him.

"Fine then, I guess you don't need a pilot _that_ bad" Nikolai said, smiling.

"But-but...Fiiinnneee! We'll go ask Shepherd if he has a problem with Roach coming. If he doesn't, then Roach can come." Soap said.

And so they left to see their General, and were surprised that he had no problem at all with Roach coming. "Have you asked Roach if he want's to come?" Was the only thing he had asked.

"Not yet. Ghost, you go get Roach. He's coming no matter what. I'll go tell Nikolai the good news" Soap said. They both parted to do their jobs.

Meanwhile, Roach was getting ready to go take a shower (Price's orders) and then go see what Nikolai was up to. He walked carelessly through the halls, with a pair of fresh clothes thrown over his shoulder.

"Hi Roach!" Ghost said loudly, popping up from around the corner.

"Gah!" Roach gasped in surprise, before stumbling backwards, tripping over his own feet, and falling. His head whacked into the wall, and he groaned.

"Hey Ghost, what's up?" He asked, rubbing his head and wincing.

"Oh you know, not much" Ghost replied, helping Roach up.

"That's cool" Roach said, preparing to leave for his shower.

"Wait! I forget to tell you something! You have orders to leave with us tonight on the mission to Rio" Ghost said casually.

"WHAT? No, I can't do that! I'll most likely just get killed or something! Besides, you guys are already pack, and prepared." Roach said, alarmed.

"Sorry pal, Shepherds orders. We needed Nikolai to come as a pilot, and he won't come without you. And don't worry, Makarov said these people in Rio are very nice. Just don't fall off the helicopter or anything" Ghost said.

"I cant! I'll just ruin it! I have plans tomorrow morning anyway"

"Nonsense! C'mon, let's go get you things ready. The trip will only be for a few days, so just pack some clothes and stuff to entertain your on the helicopter. We have about 20 minutes before we leave" Ghost said, tugging Roach to their barrack.

And so 20 minutes later,

Everyone was packed and ready to go to Rio. Nikolai had his newly purchased helicopter waiting in the flight zone. Shepherd had his hang glider set up, ready to take off at the same time the helicopter did.

Before they got into the chopper, Nikolai had some rules to tell about his copter.

"So the flight will be about 3 days. On board, their is one bathroom, a place to sit, and a storage room. On board you are not to touch anything. That rule mostly applies to Meat. Food will be served twice a day, with snacks in between. The door will be cracked open enough to get sunlight. Any questions?" The Russian pilot asked. All shook their heads no, and got abored.

"Wow, a three day flight! This is going to be fun, dontcha think Soap?" Meat asked.

"Yes, yes. Now Meat, I've been meaning to talk to you about this mission. We can't screw up because, well, because this is Gaz were talking about. Just don't do anything you'll regret okay?" Soap told him, trying to sound like a Captain.

"Of course Soap! I want Gaz back too!" Soap was still a bit uneasy, and patted Meat's shoulder. When they were all on board, Roach was sitting in the front with Nikolai. The rest were in the troop compartment, reading the debrief of what was going to happen.

"Ok, when we get there, we split up into two vans. Shepard made a few calls and got some drivers to take us around. This Rojas dude is supposed to be at Hotel Rio, and he has a friend with him. We have to look for his friend so we can get to meet Rojas. If sneaky lil Makarov is right, then we shouldn't have any trouble." Soap finished explaining with a slight smile, obviously pleased with himself.

"Now what do we do?" Ghost asked. Soap frowned now.

"Let's play I Spy! I'll start!" Meat yelled. Everyone groaned. This would be a loooonnngggg trip.

It had only been five hours since everyone left, and Price was already running out of ways to distract Gaz. Gaz had run for an hour, done 500 sit ups in twenty minutes, taken four showers, and beaten Price at poker.

"Why don't you help Kamarov with dinner?" Price suggested to Gaz.

"I'd be happy to!" Gaz said smiling brightly. That night, Price ate granola and raisins. Somehow, Kamarov had burned them, so the raisins tasted like burnt wood, and the granola smelled up the whole mess hall. Having half the base gone made Price very happy. But Gaz's smile was getting very old. Now that Price saw the truth, he was no longer blinded by Gaz's willingness to shower. He was quite bland now, and slightly annoying. Gaz still happily ate the charred granola and raisins.

"This is just so delicious, don't you quite agree John?" Gaz asked Price, daintily dabbing his mouth with a napkin. Price frowned.

"No, I don't. And It's Captain Price, seeing as I am your superior officer, and-"

"Oh don't be so humorous John. We are best of friends aren't we?" Gaz said, not really seeming like it was a question. Price became infuriated at being cut off, barely keeping his cool. This was going to be a long, painful wait.

It was the second day, and everyone on the helicopter was awake, unfortunately.

"I spy with my little eye, something flying!" Meat said. Soap groaned.

"Shepard." Royce said for the hundredth time.

"Right!" Meat yelled excitedly. How awful.

"So, this sacred watermelon, you think It'll really cure Gaz?" Roach asked Nikolai.

"I certainly hope so! Then we can finally go back to normal!" Nikolai said cheerfully.

"What about that weird doctor? And that Sunnyville thingy?" Roach asked.

"You mean Sunnyside? And no, we will not be seeing doctor Shizzum again." Soap said, hearing Roach.

"Why not? Don't we want to get the bastards who did this to Gaz?" Ghost asked. This got everyone going.

"ENOUGH! This is MY helicopter, now quiet down!" Nikolai yelled in annoyance. Everyone went silent.

"Good." Nikolai said, then resumed a casual conversation with Roach.

Shepard flew lazily on his hang glider, holding a hazel nut coffee with two creams and one sugar in his hand. He hand been drinking much more coffee, for he could not sleep on the hang glider. He occasionally saw Meat waving, and air fiving him occasionally. The flight was taking quite some time. Shepard hoped that soon they would be there.

Soon enough, a glorious site came into view. Rio De Janero, South America. The water was so blue, and the sky so bright, the mountains were beautiful. The O Cristo Redentor Statue stood proud and tall over the favela, which was where they would be meeting Alejandro Rojas. Nikolai flew the helicopter over the favela. There were many men on the rooftops. All the roofs were connected as well. Nikolai dropped the men off outside of town.

"I will patrol outside of town while you all meet with Rojas. Call me on the radio if you need a lift out of this place. General Shepard will be keeping a close eye on you from the sky's as well. If there is trouble he will come down and help. Good luck my friends." Nikolai took off after a short stretch break. The vans drove up shortly after he left. Soap talked with the drivers and turned to the group.

"We've decided who gets the tranquilizers. Roach, here you go. Ghost, you get the other." Soap said, tossing them the tranquilizer guns. Roach looked scared.

"But Captain Mactavish? I have really bad luck with this kind of thing. Remember Meat's baseball?" Roach said. Soap just chuckled and patted Roach on the back before walking away.

"So are we all ready to do this? It should be quick and easy" Soap said, getting ready to start.

"Wait, I have a question" If there is trouble, what do we do? I mean since were not armed" Royce asked the question many were wondering.

"Well, we contact Nikolai, then we run to the LZ, and hopefully all make it" Soap said. They split up into seperate vans.

"Ooooh, look at that house!" Meat said, pressing his face against the window.

"Shut it Meat, that's were we meet Rojas. Hey look" Soap said, pointing at two men who walked tothe enterance of the house.

"Soap do you copy? What are those two men doing?" Ghost asked Soap, looking at the van.

"Just sit tight and lets see what happens. I bet those two men wanna talk to Rojas" Soap replied.

The two men knocked on the door, then waited. A few seconds later, Brazilian man in a plaid t-shirt opened the door, with two body guards.

"That's Rojas assistant" Ghost whispered.

The two men said something to Rojas assistant, but then then the assistant yelled, pushing one of the men into the van, and breaking the others arm in one swift movement.

"Now that's skill!" Meat said cheerily. Rojas assistant turned his attention towards their van. He picked up a rather large rock, and threw it at the van. Much to everyone's surprise, the rock shattered right through the windshield, hitting their driver in the head. The driver was out cold.

"Ahhh! I thought their wasn't gonna be any trouble!" Royce screamed. Mactavish got to work right away as a captain.

"Everybody duck! On three, were all gonna exit the van, and charge at the assistant! Everybody got it? Ghost, you go with Meat and Royce. I'll go with Roach and Boomer, That way each group has a tranquilizer gun." He instructed as everybody ducked.

"Oh no! I knew this was gonna happen!" Roach said, then gasping as bullets hit the windows.

"One...two...THREE!" Soap shouted. They all got out and split into their groups, charging at the evil assistant.

The man clearly looked scared, running into the street. Civilians screamed, seeing the whole thing.

"Quick, run after him!" Ghost said. They all complied, racing after the man. Roach bumped into several citizens, apologizing over and over. The assistant ran into an alley way beside the hotel.

"He went into the alley!" Ghost yelled. They chased him down the alley. Suddenly Soap stopped.

"Roach! Tranquilizer now!" he yelled. Roach stopped and raised the tranquilizer gun and fired. There was a pft! The man stopped suddenly, wobbling. Roach was quite pleased as the assistant collapsed, a red tranquilizer dart stuck in his right buttcheek.

"He's down." Soap said, impressed.

Back at the base, Gaz had gone shopping in record time. He bought everything on Price's list and found many of them on discount perfectly. He used the exact amount of money Price had given him, and after shopping put away everything and cleaned the kitchen into a sparkle after Kamarov's morning cooking. After cleaning the kitchen, Gaz willingly made every bed perfectly in the barracks. He then washed all of the muddy military trucks until they sparkled. Price started taking advantage of Gaz's willingness. That day Gaz scrubbed the toilets, the showers, and the Mess Hall. He did everyone's laundry, folding and sorting included. He took out the trash, cooked a wonderful lunch, arranged Price's disaster of a desk, and even finished the rest of the day's batch of paperwork. Price was sure he would snap, but not once did Gaz's smile crack.

"Hhmm. Those men had better get that watermelon..." Price said to himself, stroking his mustache in deep thought. Yes they better.

Ghost and Soap tied Rojas's assistant to a chair in a small room. Roach watched in amusement. Soap turned to Roach, knowing the severity of the situation and how their timing had to be.

"Roach, take Meat and Royce into the favela and look for Rojas. We'll catch up." Soap said, sliding the garage door shut. If anyone could find Rojas, it was Roach. Soap turned to the tied up man. He looked scared.

"You going to talk now or what?" Soap asked.

"Screw you guys! You aint gettin nothin outta me!" He said, his voice a bit shaky. Ghost laughed, and the assistant turned his head quickly, looking scared.

"Now we can do this the easy way, or we can do it my way. Which is it gonna be?" Ghost said threateningly.

"I have connections! People that wouldn't even think about killing you if you touched me-" the assistant was cut off as Ghost heaved the chair across the room, slamming the terrified man into the wall.

"Now I may act like a nice guy, like I'm joking around a bit? Well not out here! I save the niceities for back home! Now where the hell is Rojas!" Ghost shouted. His voice thundered around the small room, even scaring Soap a bit. The assistant looked terrified.

"L- look. Were all friends here right?" The assistant pleaded. Under his balaclava, Ghost grinned. He slapped the assistant full across the face then grabbed his collar, and brought their faces close together.

"Okay. Let's get one thing straight okay? I'm not your fuckin friend, not ever. All I want to know is where Alejandro Rojas is. That's it, then we can be done. Alright?" The man simply spit at Ghost, covering his sunglasses. Ghost turned and wiped them off. He slowly put them back on, then quickly grabbed the small sidearm they had taken from the assistant.

"Captain, I can't deal with this idiot! Let's just find Rojas ourselves." Ghost yelled, holding the gun the the assistants head. Soap looked shocked and moved to Ghost. The man then began to cry.

"I'll tell you everything, just please! Don't kill me!" Ghost smiled under his mask.

"Haha, what's that smell mate? Not cool. Guess I'm scarier than I thought!" Ghost said chuckling, tossing the pistol in the trash. After that, the assistant told Ghost and Soap everything. When he was finished, Ghost patted him on the shoulder.

"Good man! See youin hell!" Ghost said, sliding open the door.

"Wait! Aren't you gonna untie me?" The assistant asked, struggling against the metal cuffs on the chair. Ghost chuckled.

"Your a smart guy. I'm sure you'll figure it out." Ghost said, turning out the light and sliding the door closed as the assistant started crying.

Meanwhile, We go back to Roach, Royce, and Meat, racing to the favela. Right before they got there Roach's radio buzzed.

"Roach, this is Shepherd. I'm right above you" Their general said over the radio. All three of the men looked up, and there he was, gliding in circles above them.

"Listen you three. Meat, your nice, in your own way. We don't want the civies here to freak out, your to be nice and calm, telling them not to worr-"

"You got it sir!" Meat yelled. He jumped down into the favela, cupped his hands around his mouth, and shouted,

"EVERYONE! Were here to get Alejandro Rojas and were not afraid to beat up anyone who gets in our way! LEAVE NOW PLEASE!" Meat yelled, and the civvies ran. A second later, a real bullet flew past his head.

"CONTACT!" Roach yelled. They ducked behind a car as bullets flew all around them. There were tons of men shooting at them from the buildings and roofs.

"Rojas has his own local militia?" Royce asked.

"Looks that way to me!" Roach said sarcastically.

"Captain Mactavish, we ran into some trouble in the favela. This guys got his own freaking army!" Royce shouted into his walkie talkie.

"What? That sneaky lil' Makarov lied to us! We've got eyes on Rojas. He's moving across the roofs. We'll corner him from all sides. GO!" Soap shouted. The three of them ran through the favela as bullets tore up the walls and glass near them. A terrified civilian ran out, and Meat tripped over him, falling hard on the ground.

"MEAT TRIPPED!" Royce yelled. Suddenly, the men stopped firing. A battle cry could be heard above, and Shepard flew down fast and scooped up Meat, who had twisted his ankle.

"Don't worry buddy! This baby's bullet-proof!" Shepard yelled, and flew away with Meat on the hang glider.

"Wow." said Roach, clearly a bit surprised at what had just occurred.

"Well, that's one less guy for the mission." Royce said, not paying attention. When he turned back around, there was a solid wall right there. Royce ran straight into it. He sat on the ground holding his nose, groaning.

"Roach, I'm hurt!" Royce said.

Once again, Shepard soared down, put Royce on his shoulders, and flew away. Roach just continued running, used to this kind of thing by now. Soap came through on the radio then.

"Roach, no time for backup, your gonna have to do this alone. Rojas is escaping on foot across the rooftops. We have to get him and find that watermelon!" Roach ran for all he was worth. Civilians occasionally pointed him in the right direction from their windows. Roach always yelled thanks. Men popped out from around corners, from windows and roofs, shooting at him. Roach dodged them all, only tranquilizing the people in his way.

"Ghost I've lost sight of him again, talk to me!"

"Rojas is moving across the rooftops to the southwest! Roach! Don't let the militia keep you pinned! Run past them fast! We gotta cut off Rojas!"

"Roger that!" Roach ran up a flight of stairs fast, nearly tripping.

"I'm right behind him! He's entered the top story of that building!" Soap yelled.

"HE'S GONNA GET AWAY!" Ghost yelled frantically.

"No he's not." Soap said calmly. Roach stopped as the top story window smashed open, and Soap was holding a man in colorful clothes and a baseball cap. They landed hard on a car, but Soap quickly recovered as Ghost tossed him their groups tranquilizer gun. Soap aimed it at Rojas, breathing heavily.

"We got him, Ghost, call for Nikolai."

"Nikolai, send the chopper now! Bollocks Nikolai, the sky is clear!"

"I am sorry my friend! I must assist Shepard with the wounded! We'll leave in fifteen minutes!" Nikolai said.

"Damn! Nikolai's being an ass. Were on our own." Ghost said.

Gaz happily cleaned everything in sight. Eventually, Price ran out of things for him to do.

"Uh, I need you to go get me some Freetos! From, uh, Germany!" Price said.

"Yes, I hear they are quite fantastic from Germany!" Gaz said, and got in an armored car, driving off. Price sighed, sitting down to smoke a cigar and groom his moustache.

"C'mon, we have to get out of here now!" Soap yelled to the team. They had gotten just one thing out of Rojas. He had given up the watermelon after some of Ghost's persuasion. Then, he told them one thing. Sunnyside could not be stopped.

"Nikolai, we have the sacred melon and we are on our way to the LZ!" Soap yelled.

"Okay my friends! I am circling the area and see many people waiting for you!"

"Oh well thats just great! How do we get out of here then?" Ghost asked.

"Just get to the LZ." Soap said. They ran through narrow alleyways, side streets, and buildings.

"There's the marketplace up ahead! Were going in there!" Soap said, running into the marketplace full of militia. Roach occasionally grabbed little knick knacks here and there, stuffing them in his pockets. They finally reached the LZ. Militia began pouring out of windows, shooting at Nikolai's chopper.

"NOOO! There hurting my poor helicopter! Meet me at the secondary LZ!" Nikolai flew the chopper away. They ran past the militia, and jumped onto the roofs. They ran across them, jumping gaps and whatnot.

"Wow! My friend, from up here, it looks like the whole village is trying to kill you! Thank god I'm not down there." Nikolai said. Soap rolled his eyes.

"Oh really Nikolai? Tell me something I don't know!" he said.

"There he is!" Ghost yelled. Unfortunately, there was a huge gap between the roofs, with a dark alleyway below.

"Were gonna have to jump!" Soap said nervously. So they did. Soap, Boomer, Ghost, and finally, Roach. They all landed on the opposite roof, except for one. Roach tried to grab onto the roof, but slipped because of the tranquilizer gun in his hands. The worst part was, he fell to the alley, and the gun didn't.

"Roach! Get up now and get your arse to the chopper! Were waiting on you!" Ghost yelled. Roach groaned and rolled his eyes, getting up. That's when the bullets started flying. Roach ran to the building in front of him. Bullets tore through the walls and windows, barely missing Roach. He ran up some stairs and came out onto the roofs. Still, the militia shot at him. Roach ran for all he was worth, using every bit of energy and strength he had.

"Roach, hurry! Nikolai's running out of gas!" Soap yelled. Roach dodged bullets, running towards the chopper.

"LEFT NOW!" Soap yelled. So Roach turned left and dropped down onto lower tin roofs. He then turned right and used the slanted roofs as a slide. Unfortunately at the end, there was a window. Roach folded his arms in front of his face and hit the window with his boots, shattering it. He got up and ran. Nikolai's chopper was there, a rope ladder dangling from it.

"JUMP ROACH! NOW!" Soap yelled. So he did. 200 feet below him was a rocky beach. He grabbed the ladder and held for dear life.

"Where to Captain Soap?" Nikolai asked.

"Bring us home. Gaz is going to be normal again."

Several days had passed. Several men had been injured but nothing to bad. Roach was really shaky and had peed himself jumping onto the chopper. But at least they had the melon. Now, Soap really studied it. It was so green, with perfectly interspersed lighter green swirly lines. He could only imagine the inside. It was so different though. They hadn't been part of a real battle in a while. And this time they didn't even have weapons!

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Why me? Bad luck...almost died" Roach murmured. Soap patted him on the shoulder.

"My ankle hurts!" Meat whined, holding onto it. A cloth had been tied around it, and they had soaked it in hot water to calm the swelling.

"Don't worry Meat, when we get back to base, the medics will do something" Ghost said.

"I can't believe Shepherd saved me! Did you see him flying on that thing? He just swooped down, and BAM, picked me up!" Meat said smugly. Shepherd was still flying alongside the chopper. They would be home any minute.

It was about ten at night when Nikolai finally landed the copter. The Russian pilot was eager to sleep, and he wanted to eat some real food. None of that Kamarov crap. So people had gotten injured, or just plain scared (Roach) but luckily, they had the melon. Now all they had to do was give it to Gaz.

They all stepped off the flying contraption. Shepherd landed by them. Right when they got near the buildings, Ghost stopped them.

"Hang on a sec. Smell that." He said. They all sniffed.

"It smells...clean" Boomer said.

"Too clean. Way to clean" Soap said.

"Gaz" They all sighed together.

"Captain Price! Sir were back!" Soap yelled, knocking on the captain's door. Price answered, in his night clothes.

"Your back? Did you get the melon? How did it go?" He asked.

"Well, Meat twisted his ankle, Royce ran into a brick wall, Roach will most likely be scarred for life, and a couple others were hurt, but we did get the melon!" Soap excitedly told him.

"All right then, I'll get Gaz and bring him in here. He's not gonna want that melon. You bring some others in here" Price ordered. Soap went out and got Ghost, and all the other men. They all wanted to see Gaz get brought back.

"Why hello everyone. What a cheery night. Did you have fun wherever you went?" Gaz asked, smiling widly. Price had dragged him in.

"Oh yes Gaz. We had very much fun" Royce said, holding his bleeding head. Gaz clapped his hands. He stopped when he saw Soap holding the sacred watermelon.

"W-what are you doing with that thing?" Gaz asked nervously, but still smiling. He stepped back from them.

"Gaz, why don't you have a piece of this nice, juicy melon?" Ghost suggested. He took out his swiss army knife, handing it to Soap, who put the melon on the desk, cutting it. When it was cut open, they all gasped. The inside off the melon was beautiful. Holy. Pure. It was such a delicate red, with the perfect oval white seeds. It looked yummy, with the juice dripping over it's edges.

"No! Stop! Get that thing away from me!" Gaz yelled. His eyes were terrified, but the smile still remaind. He tried to make a dart to the door, but Ghost and Foly caught him, restraining him from moving. Soap took a large chunck of the melon, and walked over to Gaz.

"AH! No! Stop this at onc-HMMPH!" Soap shoved the melon into Gaz's mouth. Gaz twitched madly, and Price covered his hand over Gaz's mouth to prevent him from spitting it out.

"Chew it Gaz!" The Captain said sharply. Gaz glared, but the smile was fading! The taste was becoming too much for Gaz. Slowly, Gaz chewed.

"That's it. Swallow it now" Soap said. And Gaz did. Right when he swallowed it, Gaz stopped struggling. His pupils became very small, but his eyes widened. Everyone stared.

"Quick! More melon!" Price told them. Soap cut another piece, and they gave it to Gaz. This time Gaz accepted it. Then, he dropped to the floor.

"Gaz!" Ghost yelled. Gaz was still for a moment, and Price bent down, feeling for a pulse.

"Blimers, his pulse is racing like mad!" Price gasped. That was when Gaz opened his eyes.

"Wha...? Price?" Gaz asked, his voice slurred. He looked confused. The best part was, he was not smiling. The brainwashed look was completely gone.

"Gaz? Can you hear me? What happened at Sunnyside?" Price asked.

"I-I dunno exactly. I feel funny. They did things at Sunnyside. Happy all the time" Gaz said, shaking in remembrance.

"It's over now Gaz! Everything is okay!" Soap said. Gaz licked his lips, and his eyes grew excited.

"Is that watermelon? Can I have some?" He asked eagerly, pointing to the sacred melon.

"Of course! Have it all! Take it all!" Price shoved the melon into Gaz's arms. Gaz smiled, but this smile was not like the other one. This one looked natural.

"Gaz, you have to tell us what went on at Sunnyside" Price tried again. Gaz swallowed the mouthful of melon that he was chewing.

"They read us creepy books. It got bad. Then they took us into a room, and well, had a needle. I can't remember after that. I think the food sucked. It's all a haze really" Gaz said. He then looked around.

"Meat, your ankle! Royce, your head! Roach, are you okay? You look...mental. What the hell happened while I was...er...you know." Gaz asked, looking uncomftorble.

"A lot happened Gaz. But I know one thing. Were going to attack Sunnyside" Price said coldly. "The injured, to to the medics. Roach, why don't you make a hot drink and go to bed? Gaz, you should rest to. Showers tomorrow though" Price admonished.

"What? Why do we have to take showers? I see no point" Gaz complained.

"There now! You see?" Ghost said smugly, crossing his arms.

As soon as we all recover from this, we will attacking Sunnyside. I'll debrief you all in a few days" Shepherd said.

So this was it. Our Gaz is back. But stay tuned. What will happen? Will they attack Sunnyside and truly uncover the secrets inside. Will they face Dr. Shizzum? Will everyone be okay?Review, and stay tuned ;)

**So, how did everyone like this one? I am sorry if it isn't too long, school has started up, and now being in 8th grade, I am going to have a lot of work. So please review, the more reviews, the faster I shall type. Let's see if we can get hmm...at least two more reviews than last time? How about it? So, not to respond to my former reviewers from chapter 9:**

**Grasswing-Treetail: Lol, yeah I know, I have done some major damage to Gaz in the last chapter. Lol! But now he's all better! Yay! I hope you liked this chapter! hahah Shepherd makes me laugh too, even when I'm typing about him :D Stick with me, next chapter is in progress! Review if you want to! I would be happy :D**

**mangoesaregood8: Lol, well as you read this, you can see that our Gaz is back to normal! I loved the part about the wrong tape in the last chapter too! It made me laugh while typing it! Keep reviewing! Thank's for staying with me!**

**Jacob: I am so glad you love this story! Writing it brings a smile to my face too! I hope you like this chapter as much as the others :)**

**TarTarIcing: Thank you! I have tried improving these more, spelling, the layout, etc. I'm glad you giggled, that's what this story is made for!**

**BigRedPickup: Yay I'm glad! I love it when I make people laugh! It makes me giggle a lot too! :D heheheheh**

**Hande the scorpian rider: Don't worry, I could never kill somebody in this :) But Meat did get injured, but Yay! Shepherd to the rescue! **

**That's all for now people! See you all soon! Feel free to send me messages or anything, yet If I don't get back to you in a bit, it's because of school. Bye for now!  
**


	11. The Shizzum Showdown

Trouble with the S.A.S Pt. 11!

Starring: Gaz, Soap, Ghost, Price, Meat, Shepherd, Nikolai, Roach, and Shizzum! Also many of our other cod friends!

It was a...wonderful, day at the S.A.S Army base! Why, you ask? Because now Gaz was cured! Yup, all better. The sacred watermelon worked like a pro! Of course there were some minor side effects of Gaz's being cured from being brainwashed. He was tired, more like worn out, a little weak, and his face hurt like hell from that fake smile he used to have. Price ordered Gaz to take it easy for a few days, while he looked into attacking Sunnyside, the place that had done all this dammage.

Right now, Gaz was lounging about on the couch, eating a box of frosted sugar cookies, watching the sports channel, while the rest of the men were out in the heat, running laps on the track. About an hour later, Ghost, Soap, and Nikolai came in.

"Hey Gaz! Hows it going?" Soap asked. Gaz glared at them, annoyed. He put a finger ot his lips.

"Shh! Can't you people see I'm watching something! The Bookers are winning by 18!" Gaz said.

"Same old Gaz" Ghost said, smiling under his balaclava. Nikolai sat next to Gaz, reaching for a cookie. Gaz slapped his hand.

"No! My cookies! They even have watermelon frosting! Price bought them special for me!" Gaz whined.

"Price said Gaz would be a little cranky, because he was forced to be happy for such a long period of time" Soap whispered over to Ghost.

"Well, it's much better than the old 'Happy' Gaz" Ghost whispered back. Nikolai cleared his throat.

"Anyway Gaz, were getting off track. Price told us to get you. Time for lunch" He said. Gaz smiled (a real one), and happily walked with his friends to the mess hall.

"I can't wait for lunch! I didn't feel up to breakfast this morning! Man I'm starved!" Gaz said. Soap and Ghost glanced at eachother.

"I don't know if your going to like the food. Kamarov's...well, he's not the best cook" Soap tried to warn him about Kamarov's cooking.

"Aw C'mon Soap! Be nice! I'm sure your just giving Kamarov a hard time cause he's gay" Gaz said, laughing. They entered the mess hall, and Price ran over to them. He was very happy to have his best friend back to normal, and was in a very good mood. Because Gaz had come back just last night, he had gone right to bed, so Price didn't get to talk to him that much.

"Hey Gaz! How are you feeling today? I have a seat saved for you next to me, c'mon!" Price said, walking away with Gaz.

"I sure am glad he's back" Roach said, coming over to stand near them. The four of them walked to their seats, which were across from Price and Gaz.

"So then, you cleaned the place top to bottom!" Price was having a conversation with Gaz while the platters were being served.

"Really? I would never make any beds! What the hell did that rehab place do to me?" Gaz asked, wide eyed. That was when he saw his plate. It had Kamarov's regular Thursday beef stew on it. If you remember, the beef stew was a bowl of cold water, with non heated canned veggies dropped in, as well as some frozen chicken nuggets.

"What the hell is this?" Gaz asked angrily, guestering to his bowl. Price sighed. Yes this really was the regular Gaz.

"Kamarov is trying his best" Price told him.

"There is no way I'm eating this crap. Were are the cooks?"

"The cooks are on a vacation. They will be back in one week" The Captain said.

Gaz sighed, before throwing his bowl off the table. Price stood up. Sure it was better than Gaz being happy in a creepy way, but Price was not having Gaz act so rudely. The bowl had shattered, spilling it's contents all over the floor.

"Gaz! Pick that up now!" Price sternly told him. Ghost was laughing, because he was glad someone had finally shown Price how much the army hated the food. Soap was looking worried, but a bit happy inside seeing the normal Gaz. Kamarov was embarrassed, and everyone else was either grinning, or wondering what Price would do. Price glared at Ghost.

"You seriously think people like this stuff Price? I know proper food when I see it, and this is nowhere near proper! The drinks even suck! Who the hell puts mayo inside a glass of milk?" Gaz shouted. Price turned his attention back to his best friend.

"That's it, go straight to the sleeping barrack. You can stay there for an hour, thinking about what you have said tonight. Think of how Kamarov feels?" Price said. Gaz turned and left, slamming the door behind him. Everyone was silent.

"What's the matter with him?" Paul Jackson asked, dumbfounded.

"It's just the brainwashing taking it's course. He'll settle down within a few days. Just treat him nicely" Price told them. Everyone nodded.

After dinner, Shepherd was drinking his coffee, with two creams and one sugar. Meat came over to price, still on crutches from his sore ankle.

"Hey buddy! I just wanna thank you again for saving me! And I really like your hang glider" Meat said, sitting down next to him. Shepherd took a sip of coffee.

"No problem. High five...?" The General asked. Meat happily complied, swatting the hand of his general.

"So I had a question. Why are highways built so close to the ground?" Meat asked.

Shepherd really despised the questions that Meat asked, but this time, before yelling, he actually thought about it.

"Well, I suppose..er...I'm really not so sure. I'll have to look into that" Shepherd said. He really did wonder...

Gaz sat on his bunk, listening to his Happy Fruit cd. A knock came at the door, and Price entered. gaz looked up, and turned off the music.

"Hey Gaz" Price said, sitting next to him on the bed. Gaz felt nervous. He had no clue what came over him at dinner. A rush of anger had just overtook him.

" Price..I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so cruel at dinner. I don't know what happened" Gaz muttered.

"It's fine Gaz, I'm not mad. Obviously since you were forced to be happy for so long, your going to get angry now too. Just try and learn not to throw Kamarov's food. Now how about we join the others in the lounge?" Price asked. Gaz grinned, following his captain.

The next day, Soap, Ghost, and Foley were playing uno. They stopped when they noticed Gaz breathing heavily. They rushed over.

"Hey, you okay Gaz?" Soap asked. Gaz looked in pain.

"My head just hurts, it feels like-" But Gaz was cut off, staring blankly into space. Ghost waved his hand in front of Gaz's face.

"Gaz? Helloooo? You in there pal?" He asked. No response.

_"But I hate granola. Why can't I just have some watermelon?" Gaz asked. One of the doctors zapped him, making Gaz scream._

_"Granola is goood for your stomach. You like it. Section 8:12 in the happy bible. 'Thee shall snack upon granola, for forever eternity' Now eat it!" The doctor snapped. Gaz took a bite swallowing it, trying not to gag._

_"Now we shall all sing the happy song..." Shizzum said from the front of the room._

"Ah! No more granola!" Gaz shouted, eyes coming back into focus. He saw Ghost, Foley, and Soap looking at him. He was shaking slightly.

"Er...hello. I think I just had a flashback. No need to worry" Gaz said, looking around nervously.

"What did you see?" Ghost asked, wondering what coud make Gaz so scared. Gaz told them about his flashback, and they all stared at him with horror.

"Man they are one evil place!" Foley commented.

Later that night, everyone slept soundly, except for one person. Gaz turned over in his sleep, trapped in his awful dream.

_"Please! Don't make me do this! I've never made anything spotless before!" Gaz pleaded._

_"Until those toilets are sparkling, you will not have any meals!" Shizzum told him._

_"Fine by me! That granola's godawful!" Gaz complained._

_"Maybe you and the obediance councelor need another talk hmm?" Shizzum said, smiling evily. Gaz's eyes widened and he scrubbed the toilet as fast as he could..._

"Don't do it, please! I just want a melon!" Gaz screamed in his sleep. This woke up the whole room. Ghost repeatedly slapped Gaz until he was awake.

"Ow! Huh? What just happened?" Gaz said, a bit dazed.

"You were screaming something about toilets and melon Gaz. What happened in there?" Soap asked, a bit freaked out. Gaz explained the vivid dream to his friends.

"Blast it, when will Shepard have the information on Sunnyside? We gotta attack!" Ramirez said.

"This is just so terrible cupcake! When shall poor Gaz find peace, like you and I?" Worm asked Kamarov. Kamarov kissed his forehead.

"Now now, when we get rid of sunnyside, everything will be normal again pumpkin!" Kamarov replied. Gaz shuddered at the sight. It was kinda creepy. Many of the soldiers patted Gaz on the back, or told him it would be okay before going back to bed.

The next day, they were all called into General Shepherd's office. Everyone was excited to be in there, bacause they had never ever gotten a really good look at it. All except Meat. He bragged about all the times we went in here, by his own will! Meat was now off of his crutches, and his ankle was all better!

"So, I have all called you in here, because I have something to tell you" Shepherd said in his weird voice.

"No duh! Just get on with it please!" Ghost said. Price shot him an admonishing look, causing Ghost to chuckle. He was grinning under his mask.

"Is it about Sunnyside?" Dunn asked. Shepherd nodded, clearing his throat.

"So...as I was about to say, before the rude interruption by Ghost, I have some info on Sunnyside. Care to hear?" Shepherd asked. The room was filled with choruses of, "Yeah!" and, "Spill it out!" And "Of courses!"

"All right then. First here's the history of the building. Sunnyside was first constructed in 1862, built by Sir Shelden Shizzum. The Shizzum family has run it for generations." Shepherd started.

"So that's why Dr. Shizzum is in charge of everything! And the meanest!" Gaz exclaimed. Price patted him on the back.

"So now, Price has come up with a plan to attack this wretched Sunnyside place. Price, if you'll take over?" Shepherd asked, gesturing for the Captain to take over. Price came to the front, and everyone stood at rapt attention.

"Alright then, everyone listen. Normally if we're angry, or need to get someone out, we would blow the place to pieces in order to do that, shooting everything in sight. In this case however, Gaz is back with us. We are angry, but there are people trapped there. I think it would be best to use stealth, like were trained for" Price explained.

"You mean most of us. A couple of the yanks are just used to big battles" Ghost said.

"Ghost, quit this now! Do not insult us yanks! We are much more...independent than you!" Paul Jackson shouted. Ghost simply smirked.

"All right, all right, enough!" said Price, irritated.

"We will infiltrate Sunnyside using their uniforms. We must find out where three workers live, steal their uniforms, and make sure they don't make it to work." Price said.

Dr. Earl McDeedee woke up in the morning and began to press iron his work uniform. He was very careful around the Sunnyside Symbol, which was a sun with a smiley face. That was when someone knocked on his front door. McDeedee put on a smile, and opened the door. He was greeted with a hard punch to the face, which knocked him out cold.

"There's the uniform." Ghost said, and put it in a dry cleaning bag.

"Secure him and unplug the phones, and internet. Take his cell phone too." Soap said. The small, elite team that was in charge of uniforms was Soap, Ghost, and Price. Price cuffed Dr. McDeedee to the sink pipe in the bathroom. After they finished with the house, Ghost stopped.

"Wait. I gotta do this." he said, pulling out a permanent marker. He drew a Price style mustache on the doctor's face, then some glasses and and a goatee. He turned and went to the car, satisfied. They locked the bathroom door and drove back to base.

The three sunnyside uniforms were lined up on the wall.

"What else do we need to do?" Meat asked, bouncing in his chair.

"Settle down son." Shepard said gently. Meat stopped, and grinned. He was behaving much better now that Shepard was treating him nicely.

"One quick thing General Shepard, after they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?" Meat asked quickly. Shepard tensed a bit, then thought about it.

"Well, thats interesting. I know! Maybe they ship it in bubble wrap!" Shepard said, a childish grin spreading at the joy of answering the question. Meat clapped and jumped up and down.

"YAY! You did it!" he cheered. Shepard chuckled and high fived him, then patted him on the back.

"Alright, enough fooling around. We need to call everyone in to discuss the Sunnyside situation."

"I'll do it!" Meat said, running out. A few minutes later, and the whole group was gathered in the mess hall. Price stood and addressed the room.

"So we have the uniforms, now we need the a special card that will get us into Sunnyside. Unfortunately, these are hard to get. Not even the doctors have them. At least, not with them. They are locked in a special building with electronic pass-code. We can't just charge in there, so we need to get the pass-code somehow." Price explained. Griggs raised his hand.

"Yes Griggs?"

"Well, don't people usually set pass-codes to their birthdays? When was Dr. Shizzum born?" He asked. Price snapped his fingers.

"Thats the best we've got. Who wants to come as backup?" Price asked.

"I'll go!" said Foley.

"Good, lets get that card!"

When they typed in Shizzums birthday, the door slid open slowly.

"Yes, it worked!" Foley said, and walked in. The cards were in glass boxes lined against the wall. Foley took a razor from his belt. He slowly cut a hole in the glass and reached in. He put the code in a tiny plastic case and handed it to Price. As they walked out the door, they saw two black SUV's parked a bit down the street.

"Just get in the truck." said Price. So they did, and began to drive away. The SUV's followed. One rolled down its passenger window, and a hand emerged, holding a gun.

"It's sunnyside agents, drive!" Price yelled. So Foley floored it, and the SUV's opened fire. That was when Price noticed a picture of a sun with a smiley face on the license plate. Bullets pinged off the side of their truck. An SUV drove up on their left.

"Time to take these boys downtown!" Foley yelled. He swerved and rammed into the SUV. The SUV lost control and smashed threw the guardrail and into the quarry below. A large explosion followed, and a lone tire flew up and landed in the road.

"Holy shit!" Price yelled. The second SUV dodged the tire and pulled in front of Foley.

"Alright assholes, take this!" He yelled, and accelerated. He rammed the back of the SUV, which flipped over and skidded onto the other side of the road. The two men breathed a sigh of relief, and headed back to base.

"Everyone, Sunnyside is going down. We will begin Operation Firestrike tomorrow." Shepard said.

"The stealth teams will go in first and evacuate all of the patients. Then, we go in, and burn the place to the ground!" Price yelled. Everyone cheered and threw their hats in the air.

"All right everyone, we have a big day ahead of us. Everyone shower and get to bed. I need to have a word with Gaz." Price said. Gaz stayed with Price while everyone headed to the showers.

"So Gaz, are you sure you want to participate in the attack? You've seen alot of bad things, and it is possible that Shizzum will be there." Price said. Gaz's expression grew hard and determined.

"I'd like to meet up with the old doc. Maybe have a word with her." Gaz said. Price smiled weakly and patted Gaz on the back.

"You'll be ok. Now go shower up." Price said. Gaz groaned and walked out, muttering something about cleanliness. Price simply shook his head and chuckled.

Later that night:

_"Gaz, I'm trying to do my job here. If you can't accept that, then you will be put down." Shizzum said. Gaz looked terrified as he sat handcuffed to the chair in Shizzum's office."Please! I've been doing everything I'm supposed to! I eat the granola, I clean the bathrooms, I even sing the happy song! '__**It's a happy time, a happy place, time to shine, time to race! Be at the top, and smile real wide, and remember to never be snide! Sunnyside will right the wrong, now I've sung the happy song!'"**__ Gaz finished the song sobbing. Shizzum just sighed._

_"I'm sorry Gaz, but I think we may need to do the happy thoughts injection. You are a very serious case. Let's take a walk." Shizzum said, repositioning her glasses. Gaz cried as she escorted him to the surgical ward..._

"NOT MY BRAIN!" Gaz screamed out. Everyone in the barracks was immediately awake.

"GAZ!" Soap yelled, shaking him. Gaz's eyes were halfway open, glazed and white.

"Wake up Gaz, now!" Soap yelled, hitting him as Ghost had before. Gaz woke up screaming and holding his head.

"Huh? What... I'm fine you guys! Really, I just need to sleep." Gaz said.

"You were screaming! Tell us what you saw." Soap said. So Gaz explained, and everyone gasped.

"Those bastards! Don't worry Gaz. Were gonna take them all down, and Shizzum to!" Ghost said. They all went fitfully back to sleep.

Three trucks were lined up, fully fueled, and fully loaded with M4's and RPG's. Nikolai's plane was loaded with firebombs to drop on the facility. A few Americans were stationed to parachute in during the attack. The stealth team was assembled as well. Roach, Soap, and Price were in the enemy uniforms. It was lucky they had to wear surgical caps and masks, to cover their hair and Price's large moustache. Ghost was standing by with Gaz in the control truck, ready to give info to the stealth team. They would also be part of the main attack. Kamarov kissed Worm on the cheek.

"My dear, if we don't make it out of this, I want you to hear that I love you, one last time." Kamarov said. Worm blushed, then kissed Kamarov and pulled him into a hug. Everyone geared up and got their weapons loaded and ready. This would be the mission to change everything. This made them. Everything that had happened to everyone in the past was unimportant compared to this. Hugs and handshakes were exchanged. They knew Sunnyside was very powerful, even more so than Makarov. When everyone was in the trucks, Ghost's voice crackled over the stealth teams radio.

"Good luck you guys. See you all at Sunnyside." he said. The convoy headed out on Shepard's go. Nikolai took off, and Shepard got a running start and took off on his hang glider. The stealth team arrived there first.

"Alright, were in postion. Entering passcode now." Price said, and entered the stolen code. The door opened for them. They walked into the lobby, and the fat, old secretary looked up. When she saw the uniforms, she smiled.

"Hey guys. We got another one just outside of London today. He's up in surgical." said the secretary. Soap smiled widely, a perfect happy play.

"Sounds good Shirley!" Soap said, reading her name tag. They progressed through the building. They entered the pass-code on another door.

"_You should be at the cells now."_ Ghost said through their radios. Patients were chained to the walls, packs of granola in their hands, many of them smiling.

"Oh shit" Price muttered under his breath, before going up to one and unchaining him. The man looked happy, but dazed.

One by one, they snuck them out the back exit. One began to sing the happy song as he was escorted out, so they had to tape his mouth. They also found a man talking to the wall about how lovely the curtains looked, and how he was going to tea later with several friends. The man was clearly not well in the head. Out behind Sunnyside, they were each given a shot that had a small bit of sacred melon juice in them. They're happiness slowly faded and they began to ask questions, like where they were and who the hell the creepy guy in the skull mask was. Eventually, they were all piled into a truck, and driven to a designated safehouse.

"_Thats everyone. Now you need to get to surgical. Start a fire as a distraction, then we attack!"_ Ghost said happily. So they followed the signs to surgical. When they were there, they were shocked at what they saw. Needles were vaccum packed in glass tubes. They were filled with a strange, yellow substance. Yellow was the color of happiness.

"This is for Gaz." said Roach, lighting a match with a load snap and a hiss. He tossed it towards the viles of yellow liquid. The liquid began to bubble.

"Get back now!" Price yelled. They jumped out of the way at the exact second the tubes exploded. The liquid splattered the walls, turning a sickly green from the heat. The explosion was loud as hell to, and glass flew everywhere.

"Strike one!" Roach yelled. Alarms began to blare throughout the building, red lights flashing violently around the halls. The three of them ripped off their doctor uniforms and threw them in the raging fire. The liquid burned brightly, like oil. They drew M4's and ran down the fired their M4's at office doors, and at the windows in the halls. A doctor ran around the corner, holding a pistol.

"Strike two!" Roach yelled as he smacked the man in the face with the butt of his gun, knocking out the guy's tooth. Roach ran ahead and kicked down the door to the lobby, and tossed in a grenade. It exploded loudly, shattering glass and wrecking the walls.

"Strike fuckin' three!" Roach yelled.

"Commence the attack!" Soap yelled into his mic.

"_Roger that!_" Ghost said. A second later, rockets began to tear through the walls. Explosions ripped through the entire building. The front door blew open, and Gaz marched in, holding a SAW. He fired at the walls and pictures of meadows and puppys on the walls. He marched down the halls, shooting a grenade launcher at any doors in his way. Doctors ran this way and that, barely escaping the bullets. Gaz walked straight through explosions and fire, bits of wall and metal bouncing off of his armor. He shot open the door labeled KITCHEN.

"I HATE GRANOLA!" Gaz screamed and held the trigger of his SAW. It tore up the cabinets, sending bits and pieces of granola and raisins flying all around the room. He lit up the gas stove and broke the pilot light. He ran and fired back into the room. A huge explosion followed, bits of wood and plaster flying everywhere.

"Soap, Price, Ghost, I'm going to Shizzum's office. Cover me." Gaz said. He marched down the hall as SAS men swarmed the building.

Shepard patrolled the attack zone with his hang glider. It was a mess down there. RPG's were fired at the building. Occasional explosions tore through the roof. A rather large one came from what Shepard knew was the kitchen, if the blueprints were correct. Nikolai's plane had been dropping people off, who parachuted through the skylights in the roof. Luckily, nobody had been hurt yet. Thats when two huge men ran up onto the roof. They were the guards that had first taken Gaz away. And one held an RPG! Shepard turned to glide away, and they fired, narrowly missing the large, colorful target. Shepard leaned to speed up, when another one fired. This one ripped through the large wing, and Shepard began a spiral downward. His hang glider was on fire, trailing smoke behind it. He crashed into the trees below, his fate unknown by Nikolai, who had seen the whole thing.

_"Shepard is down! Those retards shot him down!"_ Nikolai's voice was frantic on the radio. Gaz simply closed his eyes, fighting off sadness. He couldn't afford it now. The door ahead of him was labeled **Dr. R. Shizzum.** Gaz readied himself, then kicked down the door. The office was plain, boring, yet untouched by the gunfire or explosions throughout the base.

"Show your face Shizzum!" Gaz yelled. A small laugh came from the corner of the room. Gaz turned. Shizzum's head was down, her blonde hair uncombed and strewn on her desk. One hand was extended. Her nails were painted bright red. She lifted her head, and began to laugh harder.

"You know what I've built here Gaz? You never understood did you? You know, your not the first soldier I've dealt with. The last one was to messed up in the head. I put him down myself. And now, I'm going to put you down Gaz." Shizzum lifted her other hand, revealing a syringe filled with yellow liquid, the happiness mixture. She stabbed the needle into her own arm, and injected the liquid into herself. Her eyes glazed over, and she began to laugh crazily, and a huge smile formed on her face. Her makeup was smudged and her eyes were bloodshot, and she removed her gun from her belt, tossing it aside.

"Wow! I should have done this a long time ago!" Shizzum said through her laughs, her voice warped and high pitched.

"Fight me like a soldier!" she said, giving a mock salute. Gaz grew angry, and threw down his weapon. He removed his grenade belt and threw it away. Finally, he removed his armor, unsheathed his knife, and threw them. Unarmed, Gaz gave a fighting stance. Shizzum smiled widely, here pupils went small, and she pounced. She threw a punch, and Gaz was sent carreening to the ground. She was stronger than he had imagined.

"Okay, that's how it's gonna be!" Gaz yelled, and kicked Shizzum in the ankle. She fell hard, and Gaz got up fast, taking a defensive position. Shizzum got up, and put Gaz in a head lock, and ran him at the wall. She slammed him into it, then heaved him through the air. He smashed into her desk and collapsed.

"You're making this to easy." Shizzum said and picked up Gaz's knife. She slashed down, and Gaz grabbed her wrist, stopping the blade and inch from his heart. He twisted and the knife fell from her hand. He then spun her around and held her arms. He cuffed them around the lone metal pipe in her office. She struggled against the bonds.

"When they hit the gas main, this whole place is going up." Gaz said. Shizzum's face grew a shocked expression, which quickly disappeared, replaced with crazy laughter. Gaz ran from the room and down the hall. He yelled into his radio,

"Everyone, Shizzum is trapped inside the building! Get out and light this place up!"

Nikolai saw everyone had left, and dropped the fire bombs at the gas main building. The building let off a huge explosion, and tore down the street through the pipes. In about five seconds, the whole place was going. Nikolai realized this and tried to turn. To late. The enormous explosion sent a shock wave through the air that brought down all controls, sending Nikolai's plane into a nose dive. Nikolai barely managed to parachute out of the plane. He saw his beautiful plane explode in flames on the side of a hill.

"My plane! My beautiful plane!" Nikolai cried as he parachuted into a small lake. He took off his parachute and swam up. He followed the burning horizon to his friends.

Gaz just stood and watched. The explosion was enormous, the biggest he had seen in his entire life. That was saying something, since he was in the SAS. Suddenly, some twenty people came up to him and hugged him all at the same time. All of his friends. Even Nikolai walked out of the forest, dripping wet, and hugged him, making everyone complain. Ghost asked him why he felt the need to take a shower at a time like this. They all went home. The drive was unusually silent.

"Friends. Family. That's what we are. We always will be. We have grown and well, some of us have matured." Price said, glancing at Meat and Griggs, who were goofing off.

"There is something I must tell you all, for those who don't know. We lost someone very important to our family today. General Shepard was shot down in the battle yesterday." Suddenly, Meat and Griggs looked up. A tear ran down Meat's face.

"It's not true!" Meat said. Price's face grew sad.

"I'm very sorry Meat. He's... gone." Price said. Silent tears began to fall, and Meat turned away. He was still wearing the butt ugly sweater Shepard had knitted him. Suddenly, the door burst open. Everyone stood, expecting a fight. That was when a worn out, limping Shepard entered, dragging the ragged remains of his hang glider behind him.

"It took me four hours to get out of that tree. Then I hitchhiked here. The man made me give him a thousand bucks to get here. A thousand!" Shepard complained. Meat jumped up, a huge goofy smile on his face.

"I knew you would make it buddy, I just knew it!" he yelled, giving Shepard a bear hug. Shepard smiled weakly and hugged him back.

"So buddy..." Meat asked.

"Yeah?" Shepard asked.

"Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?" Meat asked. Shepard smiled wider.

"I don't see why not." Shepard said. Everyone just laughed.

"All right everyone, we've gone dirty long enough. Double showers, and make it snappy!" Price demanded. The laughter turned to groans of annoyance, but they all headed to the showers, while Price stood with a smug expression.

At least everything was back to normal.

Epilogue: Gaz walked out to collect the mail a week later. A large package was waiting for him.

"What is this?" Gaz wondered to himself. It was addressed to him. He smiled, wanting to know what this large box was. He carried it to the empty mess hall and cracked it open with a crowbar. Why Kamarov needed a crowbar to cook, Gaz would never know. Gaz removed the Styrofoam. At the sight, his heart sank and his smile turned to fear. He picked up the note inside.

"_Think happy Gaz! From, Dr. S_." The box was filled to the brim with packages of granola and raisins.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Gaz screamed.

**So how did everyone like this one? I'm sorry it's not super, super long, but still. I tired to make this one very epic. But I cannot take all the credit for this story. My co-writer/brother, Eric, helped with this one a lot. Eric has came up with lots of ideas to help me with this series, so if any of you want to review, it may make him happy if you complement him, because he wrote most of this one. So anyways, on to brighter topics. The next chapter will be up soon, I am already writing it. Let's just say, it's going to be starring Nikolai a lot. And Kamarov. And one other person, who we have not heard or seen in this for a long time. ;)**

**Another thing. It would be great help if any of you knew names of cool planes. It will help me for the next chapter, and it has to do with Nikoai. So if any of you do know the names of any cool planes, please review or send me a message. Thanks!**

**And now, I shall respond to my reviewers!**

**xStealthxSniperx: Thank you for your review! I am so glad Gaz is back too :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it as well as my brother did. Thanks again for the review. Next chapter will be up soon. I would love a review for this chapter to ;)**

**Jacob0392: Hhahaha you are totally right, our Gaz is back to normal! I hope you liked Sunnyside going down. I am so glad I have destroyed it! But er...oh no Shizzum is not dead! Agh! Lol, but to let you know, we will not see Shizzum for a looonng time ;) I hope you review more! :D Thanks for reviewing my last chapter!**

**Macreally: Aww, I loved your review! I hope your better now! Trust me, I hate being stuck in bed as well. I al so glad you love this story! And I love your reviews to death! PLease keep them up. Thank you so much! :D**

**Hande the Scorpion Rider: Lol, I love Shepherd in my stories as well. Well now you have it, Sunnyside has gone ablaze! :) Yayayyyy! 10000 thank-you's for reviewing! I hope to see more from you :)**

**Mangoesaregood8: Thanks for reviewing! I am glad I put Gaz back to normal as well, I was beginning to miss him :( but yay, now he's back! Lol, and yeah he does have an awesome melon! The best ever ;) Seriously, I love your reviews! Please keep it up :) I love your stories too.**

**Okay so that's it! Oh yes, I may write a one-shot, and idea from Trouble 10. Who would like it if I wrote just a short little thing about them at the park, and then something happens to Roach, having to do with Meat's baseball? Just message me or review telling me so, and I will do it.  
**


	12. Planes, Hobo's, and cooking!

**Before you read!**

**Oh my gosh! I am so, so happy that I have posted another chapter! I know it's been awhile, so I made sure to make this chapter my longest yet. Please excuse any spelling errors, I tried my hardest. Just to let you know, this one mostly stars Nikolai and Ghost. I hope you all enjoy this! P.S. A Hobo is in this story ;) And also, the start of the story is okay, but it gets awesome during the middle and end! Enjoy!  
**

Trouble with the S.A.S Pt. 12

Starring: Nikolai, Kamarov, Worm, Detective Eric, Price, Gaz, Meat, Shepherd, Ghost, Soap, Griggs, Paul Jackson, Dunn, and many of our other friends from cod!

It was a normal day at the S.A.S army base. Price was having everyone work out, in the most hardest ways. They were running courses, doing hurtles, and very painful sit ups. Well, he was only making certain people work out. Griggs, Meat, Jackson, Ramirez, Foley, and Dunn were all doing this. Ghost had been, but wandered off while Price had been lecturing Meat on the proper way to address a higher rank. Ghost was now with Soap, who was testing out a new shipment of weapons.

Gaz was training a group of FNG's, teaching them the proper use of weapons. He of course, had watermelon there, having the new guys knife them for him. Nikolai sat in the room with all the base planes and helicopters. He was very sad about his only plane that really belonged to him, getting destroyed. He sat on one of the planes, gently stroking the control pannal.

Roach was in the kitchen, making a chicken salad sandwich. That was when Gaz ran in.

"Hey there Roach? Whatcha making?" He asked, eying the bowl. Roach eyed Gaz, knowing that Gaz could easily steal his food. Gaz laughed, seeing Roach's expression.

"Relax mate, I would never steal your sandwich! I just came in to see if Kamarov was here. I have news to tell him" Gaz said. He seemed very happy, which made Roach very nervous.

"Er..What about?" He asked. He only received a punch in the back from his friend.

"I'm not telling! Price only told me, cause I'm his favorite!" Gaz yelled. Seeing Kamarov was not there, Gaz just grabbed Roach's sandwich and ran out of the room. Roach groaned, and decided he needed to rest...

"Mr. Shepherd General sir man!" Griggs called, with Meat by his side. They had walked into the General's office, uninvited. The saw Shepherd, sipping coffee, two creams and one sugar, and he seemed to be doing paperwork. When he saw them, he had to hold in the small smile that threatened to escape his lips.

"What do you boys want? It's paper work time. I'll see you at dinner" He said, trying to be firm.

"Well, we came up with a good idea!" Meat announced. Shepherd raised his eyebrows. Normally, one of Meat's "idea's" caused pain and suffering to the rest of the base.

"...What about?" Shepherd asked.

"Well I saw Nikolai today, and he was really sad. I think it's cause he misses his plane. Why don't we use some military money to buy him one?" Meat asked. Shepherd actually thought about this. It would make up for forcing Nikolai to use his plane in all the dangerous missions in the past.

"Well, I have a blank check. I guess we'll use every cent of it buying Nikolai a plane. Now go hang with Soap" Shepherd said. Meat nodded happily hand skipped out to find Soap.

"So were using base money to buy Nikolai a plane? Sounds like a good idea" Soap said agree-fully to Meat, while both watched some cartoon in the lounge. That was when Gaz burst in, with Price right behind him.

"Help! Soapy, please help me!" Gaz screaming in a very girly manor, diving behind the Scotsman. Meat screamed because Gaz was screaming, and Price was screaming too, but out of anger. That caused Soap to scream. So then Ghost walked in. At the sight and sound of what was before him, he started to freak out. Grabbing his M9, he fired it up at the ceiling. Everyone quieted down.

"What the hells going on?" Ghost shouted.

"Gaz prank called Macmillan!" "Price broke my cell phone!" Gaz and Price said at the same time.

"You prank called Macmillan? I thought you guys made up?" Soap asked, rubbing his temples.

"That's what I thought as well! But hey, whatever, just hurt you superior officers feelings, fine!" Price said, throwing his arms up and walking out of the room.

That morning for breakfast, there was pancakes! And do you know why? Because the cooks were back! Yes sir, our friend Kamarov was no longer needed in the kitchen, though he had taken up another extra career. He was the one in charge of clearing and cleaning the plates after each meal. Worm helped of course, ooh those crazy lovebirds.

In Shepherd's office, three men were gathered around the cheap, pea soup colored computer that the General's mother had sent him. Shepherd, Meat, and Griggs were on e-bay! (One of Meats most used websites) They were putting their plan into action, which was looking for a plane to buy for Nikolai.

"Well...it says here that there's a great variety of planes, fit to match the owner in great companionship and personality, for a great price! Only, it's a limited time offer, so we'll have to act fast!" Meat said, scrolling own the web-page, looking at different pictures of planes.

"Hey look, that ones only 100 bucks!" Griggs said excitedly. Shepherd frowned.

"Who the hell would sell a PLANE, for only a hundred dollars?" He said aloud.

"Beats me, they must just not want it anymore, but either way, it says the planes in great condition. Should we get it?" Meat asked. The other two men nodded.

"Yay! It's going to arrive in a few days!" Griggs said, high-fiving Meat, and then Shepherd.

Later that afternoon, things were running normally. Griggs, Paul, Ramirez, Dunn, and Foley were all playing basketball. The rest of the men were either target shooting, or complaining. Some of the complainers was of course...Gaz and Ghost.

"...And there only selling them for $15.45 the rest of today! If I don't get the newest album of the Happy Fruits, then I'll die!" Gaz nearly screamed.

"I also have to get that hard drive for my laptop! I have too much..er...stuff on it! So I have to have a place to store it, tonight!" Ghost added. Price stroked his beard, leaning back into his office chair.

"I would let you go, but there's no way I'm going to let you both wander around Wal-Mart by yourselves, remember last time?"

_Flashback_

_Price's cellphone began to ring it's shrill, annoying tone of "Dancing for the Groceries" He picked it up._

_"Captain Price speaking, make this quick, I have paper work to do!" He snapped._

_"Yes, this is the local police Officer Thunker speaking. Were calling about two of your men. They were caught for stealing from Wal-Mart" A nasty voice said. Price groaned. He had sent Gaz and Ghost to pick up some batteries over an hour ago, he should have known this was coming._

_"Um...what did they steal?"_

_"The one with the UK hat stole a Reeses peanut butter cup, a wristband that had a picture of a watermelon on it, multiple boxes of crayons, and a light bulb. The other guy with a creepy mask stole three pairs of headphones, an i-Pod touch, a bottle of wine, and a banana" Officer Thunker said angrily, as is this whole fiasco was Price's fault._

_End of Flackback_

"Umm...well what if we bring Soap along? He always follows your orders!" Gaz said brightly, turning to leave.

"Hold on one second! I ordered Soap to help Roach learn to jump further while still holding a weapon" Price informed his best friend.

"That's wonderful, we'll take Roach with us two!" Ghost said, hurrying out of the room with Gaz.

"And so you see, you just have to pretend that there's are a bunch of fluffy bunnies below you" Soap was saying to Roach as Gaz and Ghost both arrived.

"Guess what? Were going to Wal-Mart with you Soap! And you too Roach!" Gaz said, clasping a hand on Roach's back. The Sgt. Scrambled down from the wooden platform he was on, resulting in him tripping and falling to the floor with a bang.

"Ughh" Roach mumbled, While Ghost helped him up. Then, the four of them ran to get into a military truck, remembering there id's.

Kamarov sat with Worm on the love seat in the lounge. Worm leaned over to Kamarov, whispering something into his ear. Kamarov chucked, pecking him on the cheek.

"Ewwwwww!" Nikolai grumbled, shielding his face with his magazine called "The hot ladies night"

"Yeah, get a room you too!" Paul Jackson added. Both Kamarov and Worm turned beet red.

Anyway...back to Wal-Mart. So our four guys Soap, Ghost, Gaz, and Roach were all inside. Roach went with Gaz, while Soap went with Ghost, to their different sections to find things.

"I really don't see why you like their band. I mean, Roger Seed is not a good singer! They all sing about fruit!" Roach told Gaz as they walked in the music section.

"BECAUSE THEY SING ABOUT FRUIT! There hit song is 'Melon on my pillow' and I wanna hear it! They say it's supposed to top off their last song, 'Grape me yesterday' " Gaz rambled on and on about their fruit songs. Until they turned around the corner. Gaz stopped dead in his tracks, grabbing the back of Roach's jacket and yanking him to a stop too.

"Hey what gives-Mmmph!" Gaz covered Roach's mouth with his hand, and pointed slowly ahead. A man in an police uniform was looking at wii games, grumbling to himself about the 'stupid ass economy'.

"So, what's the big deal? Who is he anyway?" Roach asked, swatting Gaz's hand away.

"It's...Officer Thunker. The man who arrested Ghost and I about a month ago" Gaz whispered.

"Ahaha I think I remember that. Price was pissed at you guys. Stealing is a crime you know" Roach said, grinning.

"Yes but this man hates us! And he was like, super mean to Price about it! He fucking tried to take Ghost's mask off, even when I warned him not to. It's not my fault the cop got himself a broken nose" Gaz said, sighing and shaking his head.

"Well, it's not like your stealing anything, so he can't do anything to us" Roach said calmly, taking a step forward again. Gaz quickly grabbed him by the jacket once again, yanking him to a stop even harder. Roach fell to the floor with a thud. You could clearly hear a sickening crack as he landed on his arm.

"Roach, Thunker said that if he ever saw us on Wal-Mart property again he would shoot us! You okay?" Gaz said the last part in concern. Roach tried to swallow the lump that formed in his throat, gently cradling his now broken arm.

"What the hell Gaz? That hurt! Owww! You didn't have to injure me just because you and Ghost got in trouble. Plus he wouldn't really shoot you.." Roach said.

"Right then, we need to find Ghost! He could easily run into Thunker. C'mon, off to the hard drive isle!" Gaz shouted, taking off into a run. Roach groaned, half from the pain, half from annoyance, and followed him.

John Price sat in his office, checking his email. After seeing that he had a new email from his old Captain, Macmillan, he jumped up and grinned.

"Ooooh goody" He said clapping his hands together. He quickly opened it.

**Dearest Price. I am extremely sorry to inform you that I went to the doctors the other day. The doctor diagnosed me with Gaslispeodoo, a newly created disease. Now, every time I fart, my intestines slowly melt. I have only a few months to live. Good day my laddie, from, Macmillan.**

Price felt his stomach churn. He began to feel waves of nausea, and the walls of his office were spinning around him. A second later, another email appeared. Unable to not know what it said, he clicked on it.

**Dear Price, I hope you were not upset by that email, I was only joking. I am inviting you and the rest of your men to the 'Cane's on the Moon' yearly festival. It is in three months from now. Bye bye now!**

"Whew, that's a relief!" Price said, laughing to himself.

Gaz and Roach both found the other two team mates in the computer isle. Roach's arm was swelled up very bad, it was all black and blue. Unwanted tears streaked down his cheeks. Gaz slammed into Ghost full force, causing the other Lt. to stagger backwards.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" Ghost shouted.

"Yeah, Gaz, what's the big deal?" Soap asked, before turning his attention to Roach. He saw the Sgt's arm.

"...Did you fall?"

"Yes sir. Thanks to Gaz" Roach said, sighing in anger.

"Shut up you people! We have a major emergency! Thunker's here!" Gaz told Ghost, jumping up and down in terror.

"Good God This is terrible!" Ghost shouted, jumping up and down as well.

"Thunker? You mean the cop who arrested you and Ghost?" Soap questioned.

"Yes, that's the Thunker! Now what are we going to do? He threatened me and Ghost big time about coming back to THIS Wal-mart!" Gaz said.

"And you couldn't have told me this before we came here? You do know there's another Wal-Mart only ten minutes from here" Soap grumbled.

"That's it, lets get the hell out of here" Ghost said.

"Wait! We have to pay for our things first!" Gaz reminded him.

The four of them set off towards the cash register isle's, but stopped short at the sight in front of them. Thunker was near the isle that they were planning on going to. Gaz turned around, slamming into Roach by accident. Of course, it had hurt Roach's arm. The Sgt gave a scream of pain, a scream that caused everyone in the store to look over. Including Thunker.

"Hey, you two! Get over here!" Thunker shouted.

"Run!" Soap said, ushering Gaz and Ghost before him. He and Roach quickly followed, until they had reached the exit. The burglar alarms then set off, because they had forgotten to drop the items they were going to pay for.

"Aw Crap, were gonna be in HUGE trouble.." Gaz said. Soap could only nod.

Nikolai was curled up in a ball, listening to old 'Martha Sweet' Classical music, from the 1900's. All he wanted was his plane.

"I soar up to the sky, kissing the clouds..." The song chorus echoed. Nikolai sobbed harder.

"Nikki! Nikolai?" Meat called out his name.

"W-what do you want, my f-friend?" He sniffled.

"I just wanted to tell you that you have a surprise waiting. Only, you have to wait here, cause not everyone in the base is back yet. Price is furious though, cause he got a call from some officer named Thunker. Price seemed to know him. Needless to say, I think Ghost, Gaz, Soap, and Roach are gonna really be in for it" Meat rambled on. Nikolai was hardly listening.

"That's great Meat, I'll be in here...weeping for my lost plane" Nikolai said, hugging his knees to his cheat.

"Fuck, do we have to go in? I really don't want to face Price" Ghost said, as they drove up the path to the base.

"Ghost, we have to act like proper military gentlemen. We must man up, and go confess to Price"

"But-but Price will punish us" Gaz sputtered disbelievingly.

"My arm hurts!" Roach wailed.

They drove through the guarded gates, scared shitless. Slowly, they desened closer and closer to the parking lot of military vehicles. Soon, the four men were out of the car, and they slowly made their way to Price's office.

When they got there, Price was nowhere to be seen.

"M-maybe we should just leave..." Ghost muttered.

"Sounds like a good idea to me!" Gaz said excitedly, darting to the open door. Before he could reach it, the door slammed shut, and there stood Price, all intimidating with that mustache of his.

They all stared at Price, too guilty and ashamed to tell him what had happened. Their Captain stood glaring at then with watchful eyes, not saying anything.

"I got a call from Officer Thunker" He finally said.

"Sir, we-" Ghost started, but was silenced by Price holding up his hand. He observed the four men for a moment.

"Soap, have a seat. Be ready for a long lecture. Roach, by the looks of it, you should head down to the medics. Don't get too happy, because I'm planning to deal with you later" He said, in a menacing tone. Roach turned pale and ran for the doors, as Soap sat down in a chair across from his Captain's desk, shaking slightly.

"...What about us?" Gaz asked, Ghost silently thinking the same question. Price's face hardened. He, with no doubt, knew that they were the main source of the problem.

"I am extremely disappointed with you to" Price said, putting his hand over his face.

"Both of you go take a shower whilst I decide how to punish you" He finally said.

"Awww, isn't that punishment enough?" Gaz asked.

"Yeah, c'mon Price!" Ghost complained as well.

"DO YOU WANT IT TO BE THREE SHOWERS? I'll make you take three showers a day if you don't scurry your asses down to those showers right now!" Price screamed. It didn't take more than a millisecond for the message to get through to them, as they ran for their lives from the room.

"Now Soap, be ready for a long talk" Price said, closing the door and turning his attention to the frightened soldier sitting across from his desk.

"First off, I had complete trust in you to make sure nothing like this ever happened. I knew that if they went by themselves, something was bound to happen, but you I trusted. And how have you repaid me? By making me pay over 500$!"

**ONE HOUR LATER...**

"So therefore, you must never, ever take the apples from the pan before they've cooled" Price said. Soap, with his eyes wide, nodded intently.

"Okay, your free to leave. I've got two idiots to deal with now" Price said. Soap slowly got up and walked from the room, in a daze. Cause that's what Price's lectures did to you.

Price found Gaz and Ghost dressed in their night clothes, both sitting on their beds in the barracks. Price glanced at his watch. It was only 7:01. They normally went to bed at 8:24...

"You two, stand!" Price said sharply. They both stood up quickly, standing so stiffly, that to Price, they almost resembled two wooden boards.

"All right, hand them over" Price said, his tone softening. Gaz and Ghost both glanced at each other before reaching into their pockets and handing Price the stuff that they had accidently 'Stole' today.

"Now I've thought a lot about this, and I know exactly what your punishments will be" Price said, scratching an itch in his stache. The two men stiffined even more.

"Gaz, no dessert for a week" Price said. Gaz's face lightened a bit.

"Yes sir!" He said happily, but not too happily. That would make Price mad.

Ghost relaxed too, knowing that his punishment wouldn't be _that_ bad if Gaz had only gotten his dessert taken away.

"And Ghost, hand over your laptop" Price said. Ghost's heart skipped a beat. At first, it seemed fake, like no words had come from his captain's mouth. Laptop? Hand? Over? No! Surly this was not real. Ghost's stomach dropped, and under his balaclava, his lip quivered.

"...Sir?" He asked, his voice sounding quiet and weird. No wonder, it was because a lump had formed in the back of his throat.

"Right now Ghost!" Price said with a little more force. Ghost numbly reached under his bed and retrieved his most prized posession, handing it to Price without a word.

"And that's not the only part of your punishment. I hear that your not that bad of a cook. I hearby, place you in charge of tutoring Kamarov in the arts of the kitchen" Price said, a smirk playing on his lips.

"W-what?" Ghost couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Your heard me" Price said.

"For how long?" Ghost almost shouted, his sadness turning into rage.

"For one month exactly. You can have your laptop back then as well." Price informed him.

One month? Ghost could not believe his ears. Gaz got off with 'no dessert' whilst HE had to be stuck with the army's loser, being his personal cook tutor, and if that wasn't bad enough, he was stripped of his most sacred and prized possession!

"Why me? That's not fair Sir! Gaz is the one who broke Roach's arm, plus the stuff he stole was more expensive than mine!" Ghost shouted.

"Now now, I'm sure Gaz has learned his lesson" Price said, gesturing to a smiling Gaz.

"Your not even going to take away watermelon from him or anything?" Ghost asked. This was unbelievable.

"Hey, let's not give the old man any ideas eh Ghostie?" Gaz said, nudging him gently in the ribs. Ghost shot the Lt. a look of death, and knew there was no getting out of this one...

"Captain Price Sir Pal? When can we give Nikolai his present? Cause it's been over like, an hour and everyone getting impatient" Meat said, walking into the sleeping barrack. He was a bit confused by what he saw. Captain Price was amused, Gaz look victorious, and Ghost looked, extremely depressed, even though his balaclava was hiding his face.

"Of course Meat, were coming right now. C'mon you too" Price said, shoving them out the door before him. It was time to give Nikolai the greatest gift yet.

Everyone on base except for Nikolai was gathered in the section of the base that pilots took off from. Before them, stood the plane they had boughten. Apparently, it was nicknamed, "Cindy Of Air" as strange as it was. Not as strange though, as the fact that the PLANE had only been 100 bucks.

"Okay Roach, you go with Meat and retrieve Nikolai" Shepard instructed. Roach's arm was wrapped up tightly in a bulging cast, and it was placed in a sling. Both men hurried off the go get the depressed pilot.

Chemo, Rook, Royce, Paul Jackson, Griggs, and some of the other soldiers were all eating popcorn, for whatever reason. The huge plane had a big red ribbon tied around one of the wings.

"Nikolai! Ready for your surprise?" Meat called.

"Yeah Nikolai! Your gonna love it!" Roach added, as they both came into the room. Nikolai glanced up, and decided 'Why not?'

"Okay I guess. My life is already as bad is it can get, so it wont even matter" He said, following then down the hall to the outside. Meat covered Nikolai's eyes as they reached the door.

"Okay now, don't peek" Roach ordered. They were almost to the plane.

Finally, they had Nikolai right in front of it. Everyone was smiling widely, even Ghost. They always loved giving people things.

Meat then took his hand from Nikolai's face. "Open" He instructed. Nikolai did so, and saw the plane before him. It was pretty big, and colored a dark orange. The red ribbon matched wonderfully. At first, the pilot was speechless, and could only stare.

"Is this for me?" He finally asked.

"Yup! We all decided you deserved a new plane since you went out of your way using your plane for us to take down SunnySide" Griggs said proudly.

"...Oh my god! A new plane for me? Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!" Nikolai screeched like a teenage girl getting a new car.

"Can I test it out? Can I drive it? How's the gas mileage?" He was super excited.

"Now now, you all need to get to bed. You can fly it tomorrow Nikolai" Price instructed. Shepherd agreed, so everybody was soon asleep.

The next morning, everyone was in the cafeteria having breakfast, which was pancakes and sausage. The cooks were much better than Kamarov, so the men were thankful to have them back.

"This sucks ass" Ghost said, sitting down with his food next to Soap. Across from them were Roach and Nikolai.

"What does?" Soap asked him.

"I have to start training Kamarov to cook in one hour. Ughh" Ghost complained, biting angrily into a pancake.

"Hey, your not the only one who got in trouble. Price made me clean his truck, even with a broken arm. And the reason he punished me was because I broke my arm!" Roach said.

"And he gave me an hour long lecture, one that I'll never forget" Soap added.

"And he took my dessert away from one week!" Gaz screamed from the other side of the room.

"Shut up you God Damn Ass Wipe! Nobody likes you!" Ghost screamed back.

"Watch your language son" Shepherd advised, sitting with Meat only a few tables away.

"Why is the whole world turning against me? WHY?" Ghost screamed, running from the room.

Nikolai was all ready to go for a test flight. He was sitting in his wonferful new plane, all buckled up. Roach would of been coming with him, but with a broken arm, the young Sgt needed to relax for a few days.

"Now you be sure to come back in time for weapons training at seven tonight" Price instructed. Nikolai nodded happily.

And so he was off. The plane went up into the sky smoothly. It even had a built in radio that played soft classical music.

"I love you my sweet, sweet plane. Did you know that? Did you know that you are greatly loved by a professional pilot like myself?" He crooned softly to his new flying device. The plane's engine groaned in response.

Nikolai chucked to himself, patting the control pannel. That was when something odd happened. The engine started groaning louder, then shrieking. This was not good. The pilot looked out the window below him, for a place to land. The bad thing was, there were only trees below. He was over the "Death-La-Forrest" if his calculations were correct.

The plane then began to drop. Not slowly mind you, but very fast. Nikolai struggled to control it, but without any success. The plane then started to tilt upside down, and spin around and around. Nikolai yelled for his life, but then his seatbuckle snapped, and his head hit the control pannel, leaving a nasty cut.

He knew this was the end. Until the plane stopped moving...and Nikolai had enough courage to open his eyes. But he really shoudn't have.

"Aw Shit!" He whimpered. The plane was stuck in an extremely tall and big forrest tree. There was not way he could climb down, without falling to his death. he started to think of all the things in life he had never done. Even worse, he started thinking of the S.A.S base. They were like his family. Would he never walk through the mess hall doors again, and be greeted by Meat and Griggs? Would he never hang in the lounge with Roach, and laugh at Gaz's antics? The thought brought tears to his eyes.

That was when he spotted something red, something shiny. The giant ribbon that was tied to the wing of the plane! He had never bothered to take it off, and that might just be a good thing. Nikolai slowly moved, reaching out the cracked window. With a grunt, he had pulled the huge giant and long ribbon inside.

Then, he slowly, ever so slowly, got out of the plane. He did so just in time, for the plane rocked back and forth, then dropped and crashed to the ground.

"Nooooooo! Cindy! My beautiful plane! Nooooooo!" He screamed, but there was nothing he could do. Except try to save himself.

He tied one end of the ribbon around a very thick branch of the tree, and looked down. The ground was a very long ways away. Would he be able to use the ribbon to get down, or was it too short? Only one way to find out.

Nikolai slowly lowered himself towards the ground, using his ribbon. He silently thanked the men of the base for getting such a huge ribbon to go on the plane.

Ghost knew he was breaking the rules. He was supposed to be in the kitchen, helping Kamarov learn how to cook. Instead, he drove 20 miles over the speed limit to Joe's Sprinkles. It was the only place to go where he could just sit down on a bench and think.

When he arrived, much to his displeasure, there was a big line of people waiting.

'Fine then, I'll just go sit on that bench over there!' He thought, turning to go sit. Who needed Joe's Sprinkles anyways?

"English! We meet, yet again!" An all too stupid familiar voice said. Ghost's heart jumped as he turned around. There, sitting in his extra large wheel chair, was fat man Roba. For those of you who don't know, fat man Roba is Ghost's arch enemy, the man who had once captured and hurt Ghost. Ever since Ghost escaped, Roba had really let himself go.

"What the hell do you want? Why do you have to pop up wherever your not wanted?" Ghost shouted in fustration.

Roba looked huge, greasy, and disgusting. He was holding two ice cream cones, one in each hand. These were no normal ice cream cones though. Each cone had about five scoops of ice cream on them!

"English! I have returned, with these two yummy ice cream cones!" Roba said. That made Ghost snap. He was sick of Roba. It was time to fight back!

"I am sick of YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!" He shouted. Then, Ghost gave a battle cry and ran up to Roba, grabbing one of the cones out of Roba's stubby fat hand. He then threw the ice cream to the ground, smiling in satisfaction.

"NOOOOO! My ice cream!" Roba screamed. Ghost laughed, getting back into the truck he had borrowed. It was time to teach Kamarov how to cook!

Nikolai had made it to the ground. Well, he had almost made it to the ground. The ribbon had been a few feet to short, so he had to drop to the ground. Luckily, he made it down alive. He looked around the woods. It was starting to get dark. And a little chilly.

He looked around him. It was all trees. That was when he spotted...light! Not sunlight, but fire light! Nikolai quickly ran to the light. What he saw next, suprised him greatly.

A man was sitting by the fire. He was no ordinary man. He was holding his hands to the fire. On his hands, were ripped up, old fingerless gloves. The man also wore tattered up rags, with a mixture of leaves for a shirt. And for the pants...he wore giant leaves. He had no shoes, and every inch of him was covered with hair. This man was clearly a hobo.

"Hey there youngin. Come sit by the fire?" The man asked, spotting Nikolai.

Nikolai didn't know what to do, so he quickly took a seat on the ground next to the hobo man. For a moment, the two men studied each other.

"Friends call me Hobo" The hobo said.

"I'm Nikolai" Nikolai responded.

"So...I heard you crashed your plane" The Hobo said. Nikolai wanted to ask how he had 'Heard' because the forrest was abandoned. Instead, he just swallowed.

"Yes" He replied. Hobo nodded, staring back into the flames of the fire. Nikolai decided to try asking something.

"Um...do you know the way back to town?" He asked.

"Yes sir I do. It's yonder to that path" Hobo replied, nodding over to a pathway. The path was extremely dark, and the trees were bare over there, even though it was spring.

Little did Nikolai know, Town was only two minutes away, in the opposite direction Hobo pointed to.

"See that car over there?" Hobo pointed behind him. When Nikolai nodded, the Hobo continued. "That car is my home. The man who had crashed his car near here wanted to get back to town too. I told him to go the same way. He must have gotten to town though, because he never came back. He left his car here" Hobo said.

"Well...I guess I'll be going then" Nikolai said, turning to the dark path that Hobo had told him to use.

"I'll tag along as well. It's about time I went on a little adventure" Hobo said, walking slowly to Nikolai's side. Nikolai wanted to scream. This was terrible...

"Okay Kamarov, first, you put in a two eggs. See how it says that on the box?" Ghost asked. Kamarov shook his head yes.

"Okay then. I'll go get the cooking oil while you put the eggs in that glass bowl" Ghost said, walking over to a cupboard. When he returned with the cooking oil, he discovered that Kamarov _had_ put the eggs in the bowl. The problem was, he didn't crack them. He just tossed them in and crushed them up, resulting in nasty shell and yoke.

"Kamarov..."

"Yes my friend?"

"Your and idiot."

"See here now, this tree bark makes mighty good supper in the winter" Hobo made easy conversation with Nikolai, as they trudged through the dark and scary path.

"You eat bark?"

"Yes I do indeed youngster. What else it there to eat in the woods?" Hobo replied.

"Um...berries?"

"Oh no no no! You see, last time I tried berries, I pooed for a week straight! It got very tiring digging holes every few minutes" Hobo said. Nikolai shuddered at his words.

Then, Hobo gave a cry of delight, bending over and picking up a shiny object on the ground. It was...a paper clip. Hobo put the paper clip in his built-in leaf pocket. Nikolai cleared his throat.

"So, er, you like paper clips?" Nikolai asked.

"Yes sir I do! Anytime one finds a paperclip, it means good things will happen to them" Hobo told him. Nikolai didn't know what to say, so he responded with, "I see."

"Hmm, it's getting to be quite late. We'd better get some rest if were to reach town tomorrow" Hobo said. Nikolai didn't like the thought of sleeping near a man like Hobo, but he _was_ rather tired.

Soap was sitting in the lounge, with Gaz, Griggs, Royce, and Worm, playing uno. That was when the door burst open. Ghost and Kamarov arrived.

"So, how did the cooking lessons go?" Griggs asked, trying not to laugh. Ghost and Kamarov looked at each other. Kamarov turned beet red, while Ghost looked angry, though it was hard to tell under that balaclava.

"Let's just say...Kamarov's going to need a lot of help" Ghost said, before plopping down onto the couch next to Soap. Then, Price entered the room. The normally calm Captain looked worried.

"Have any of you seen Nikolai come back yet? He was supposed to show up over three hours ago" Price said.

"Hmm, I don't think so. Maybe he got caught up flying his new plane or something" Soap said, trying to think logically.

"Hahaha yeah! You know before we left, I even heard him talking to it!" Gaz laughed.

"I wouldn't be talking Gaz, your quite known around base as the person who 'sings his watermelons to sleep' you know" Ghost said. He was still a bit grumpy from Gaz being let off lighter than himself.

"Well, if he doesn't come back soon, well figure something out" Price said, turning to leave. Then, after thinking for a second, he turned back.

"Make sure to take a shower before you go to bed!" He advised.

"Awwww, but I'm clean already Price! I don't get dirty that quickly!" Gaz whined.

"Shut your trap melon lover!" Ghost yelled.

"No, you shut YOUR trap skullface!" Gaz yelled back!

"Skullface is a cool name!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Both of you shut up! Don't make me have you two run twently laps tomorrow!" Price warned. That caused both men to shut up.

It was nearly dawn when Nikolai woke up. Or, was woken up. Hobo kept repeatedly poking him with a stick, saying how it was bad luck to sleep after dawn. And so now, they both were walking on the scary path once again. No sunlight came through the thick trees, so it was almost as dark as it was last night.

Every few minutes, Hobo would sniff the ground, trying to 'Find ant tracks'. Nikolai was dumb enough to ask why he would do such a thing because ants were so small, and that caused Hobo to poke him with a stick, yet again!

"If we don't know where the ants have been, then you'll get eaten by the raccoons!" Hobo said.

"What do raccoons have to do with ants?" Nikolai wondered aloud.

"Oh everything youngin! You need to get your forrest facts straight!" Hobo said. They continued walking for about twenty more minutes before they came across something terrible!

"Is...is that a skeleton!" Nikolai shouted. Hobo bent over the pile of bones and cloth, poking it with his stick.

"Hmmm, that's strange. This skeleton is wearing the same shirt that the man who crashed his car was wearing. What a coincidence!" Hobo said, bursting into a fit of laughter. Nikolai nervously chuckled too.

Little did Nikolai know, that it _was_ the man who had crashed his car!

"Okay Kamarov, today were going to start you off with the basics of learning how to make microwaved food" Ghost said, carefully taking out a bag of popcorn.

"Now, you see this bag of popcorn?" He asked. He waited for Kamarov to nod.

"Okay, good. Seeing is believing. Just joking. Anyways, I want you to put this bag of popcorn, into that microwave over there" Ghost said, pointing to the microwave on the counter. As Kamarov reached for the bag, Ghost stopped him.

"I'm not finished. Now, when you put it into the microwave, all you have to do is press the button that says 'Popcorn' on it. Do you understand this?" Ghost asked.

"I believe so" Kamarov replied. Ghost breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good. Now, you do that while I go report to Price that I've fullfilled my punishment for today" he said, leaving the room.

When Ghost got to Price's office, he discovered that the Capatin was gone. He sat in a chair to wait, when his eyes caught something of interest. It was the large safe that the Captain kept in his office.

That safe, he knew as a matter of fact, was the safe that Price put everyone's valuable belongings in when they were punished. So that must mean that his precious laptop was in there.

He looked from side to side, and not seeing Price, he quickly got up and walked toward the safe. When he tried opening it, he discovered that it was locked.

"Dammit. Hmmm, how to get this thing open" He muttered to himself.

"And just what do you think your doing?" Price snapped from behind him. Ghost whirled around, going into panic mode.

"Sir I was-The thing was-Um...yeah, i was trying to open your safe" He confessed.

"Thought so. Was that the only reason you came in here?" Price asked.

"No. I just wanted to tell you that I've taught Kamarov another lesson for today. He seems to be making progress with this one-" But he was interrupted with a huge BANG! It sounded like it came from the kitchen.

"Shit, I gotta go!" Ghost said. Price smirked.

"Making progress eh?" he muttered, whilst Ghost ran from the room.

It turned out that Kamarov had opened the popcorn package by stabbing the plastic with a fork, and then putting both the popcorn, AND the metal fork into the microwave.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you! You cant even do a simple task, as of making popcorn! Why the hell would you put a fork in a microwave? And why use a fork to open plasic?" Ghost yelled at the frightened Russian Sgt.

Kamarov trembled in fear. "I didn't know! I just panicked! I'm sawwwyy!" He blubbered. Ghost relaxed a bit.

"Okay, but your cleaning up this mess while I go eat a taco" Ghost said, guesturing to the exploded microwave.

"Okay Sir" Kamarov said.

Hobo and Nikolai were well on their way to town. At least that's what Hobo said. So far, Hobo had collected 27 paper clips (only God knows why that many were on the ground in the middle of a forrest), 11 pincones, 3 dead frogs, and one leaf of poison ivy.

"It's been a night and several hours. You said town was 'yonder' of this path! Why haven't we reached it yet? Are you sure were going the right way?" Nikolai asked, agitated at his strange Hobo "Friend".

"Can't say youngin. I've never actually took the path" Hobo replied.

"...Then how do you know it leads to town?" Nikolai asked in fury. When Hobo didn't reply, that answered his question.

"Well...Actually, there was also another path to go to town. It was the opposite direction of the path we took. That path was only two minutes from town" Hobo confessed.

"So were lost?"

"Pretty much" Hobo sighed. Nikolai felt like screaming.

"Everyone to the lounge! We have an emergency!" Price screamed on the intercom. Five minutes later, everyone on base was gathered into the lounge. It was a tight fit, but they made do.

"Shepherd, if you'll take over?" Price asked. The general nodded solemnly, going to the front of the room.

"We have a soldier missing. Nikolai has been missing for over a day. We have no other choice than to send a helicopter to search for him" He said.

"Yes, what Shepherd says is correct. Me, Gaz, Soap, and Ghost are going to find him. We'll get one of the extra pilots to take us" Price said. And so it was settled. Help was on Nikolai's way.

Nikolai perked up, nudging Hobo.

"What is it youngster?" Hobo asked.

"See that over there? It's an open field Hobo! Maybe if we go there, then we can get some sunlight, plus a plane or chopper might find us! This is great, my friend!" Nikolai said excitedly.

"Good idea! Let's move!" Hobo said. And so the two men (if you can call Hobo a man) went into the sunny field. Instantly, they were greeted by warmth.

"Ahhh, now this, my friend, is more like it" Nikolai said contently. He and Hobo both laid down the the middle of the field, falling asleep in the soft grass.

"Do you guys see anything?" Price called to the other three men. They were all in a helicopter, looking down into Death-La-Forrest. They knew this was the place to look because Nikolai said that was were he would be test driving it.

"And he couldn't of picked a more dangerous place" Ghost grumbled.

"Look, I see his plane down there! Quick driver, land down there!" Soap yelled. The helicopter driver landed a few feet away from the crashed plane.

"By the looks of it, the plane crashed into that tree, and he used that weird over sized ribbon to get down" Price said. Gaz ran over to the plane, looking in.

"He's not there!" He called.

"Okay then, lets go back into the chopper and search from up there. Were bound to spot him not far from here" Ghost suggested. That was just what they did.

"Hobo?" Nikolai asked.

"Mmm?" Hobo grunted in response.

"From the moment I've traveled in these woods with you, I've almost thought of you as a friend" He said.

"Why thank you. Nobody's ever been that close to me" Hobo replied. It was a few more minutes until Nikolai spoke again.

"Hobo, if we die, I just wanted to tell you, thank you for trying to help me" Nikolai said softly. Hobo smiled widley.

"Thank 'ya young one!"

That was when they heard a faint buzzing noise. Was it a bird? Was it a plane? Noooo, it was a helicopter!

"I recognize that chopper! It's one from my base! Were saved!" Nikolai jumped up and started dancing and waving his arms. The chopper landed, and out came Price, Gaz, Soap, and Ghost!

"Guys! I've never been so glad to see you in my life!" Nikolai screamed, running over to them.

"Nikolai, are you alright? What happened to your head? C'mon, get into the chopper this instant!" Price said.

"Okay, one second. I want you all to meet...Hobo? Hobo!" Nikolai had turned around but Hobo was nowhere to be seen. Price came over and put a hand on Nikolai's shoulder.

"He's gone Nikolai. Hobo's just aren't meant to fit in with society" Price said quietly.

"He was my friend" Nikolai said, climbing into the chopper. Hobo was soon forgotten. Nikolai was just happy to be safe again. He munched on a granola bar, only wincing slightly when Soap cleaned the gash on his forehead.

"I'm glad your saved. I know we may not say it much, but your a great friend" Gaz said sincerely. Nikolai smiled. So here was yet another adventure, and there were many more to come. The end? NO OF COURSE NOT!

Extra:

Hobo smiled happily, eating some bark off of a tree..."

The end now? NEVER! There are more chapters to come! ;)

**Sooooo, how'd you like it! Was it okay? Review and tell me! Now, I want to apologize 100000 time for not posting sooner. A lot of things have been going on, and I've been grounded for the most littlest things, and it's just been reckless here. But I hope you all like this! Now, chapter 13 is going to come soon, and it's going to be great! Remember, the more reviews I get, the faster I want to type. Now, it's 12:07 and I'm really tired, so I'm just going to post the names of my reviewers from chapter 11 here, as a big thank you:**

**Lucan07, askyourmom, xStealthxSniperX, Epsilon-Team-Captain-Hande, and Tartaricing.**

**Thanks for reviewing guys, I loved themmm! **

**I'll be in touch more with this story! :D see ya later!  
**


	13. Punishment, aging, and love

**Yaay, 13 is finally here! I hope you all like it! Finally, I finished the actual chapter 12, and now 13! I feel so happy! But yeah, I hope you all like it! Here we go!**

Trouble with the SAS Part 13! Starring: Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Nikolai, Roach, Shepherd, Kamarov, and many of out other friends from cod! Oh yeah, also starring somebody else, from a wayyy earlier chapter. I hope you all like it! :D

It was a lovely day at the S.A.S base. The sun shone brightly, the the birds and chipmunks chirped loudly. Today, Price had allowed all the men to go out to eat, whilst he got paperwork done.

"I love going out to eat! Most restraunts have really good melon!" Gaz said happily.

"Just remember, you have to act nice about it. If they don't have any, just smile and order something else" Soap advised. Of course they all remembered what Gaz had done last time they ate out.

Flashback

"I'll have six watermelons if you please ma'am" Gaz ordered.

"Oh dear. We don't stock watermelons here. I'm very sorry" The waitress said. Gaz was silent for a moment, and everyone on base who had come out to eat too, stared at him. They knew what was coming.

"Me- me- MELON!" Gaz shrieked, his pupils going small as he lifted the table and threw it at the wall. He screamed inhumanly and began to repeatedly pound his head against a framed picture of a steak, occasionally yelling something about how even if the place did have melons, they'd be dry and old.

When Gaz had finally been restrained and locked safely in the back of the military truck, the manager of the restaurant, a large man with red cheeks and no hair, except for his large scruffy beard, came out furious.

"I expect full payment for this... DISGRACE!" he yelled, spit flying from his mouth. Price wiped the fat dudes spit from the side of his face.

"Yes I'm sure you do. How much?"

"Five hundred! No more no less!"

"Of course..."

End of Flashback...

"Yeah, I wasn't allowed watermelon for two whole days! And I had to run a mile!"

Gaz shivered at the thought of his meager punishment. Soap suddenly got very alert.

"Look! I recognize that guy! Who is he?" Soap wondered, scratching his chin in thought. Indeed, the guy looked very familiar. He sat at a table alone, sniffing the flowers on the table and sipping a glass of red wine.

"Oh my god..." Griggs said, his eyes going wide.

Kamarov looked up to see an all to recognizable man. The man looked up at the same time. When he and Kamarov's gaze met, their mouths both dropped.

"Kam?" The man said in wonder.

"Eric?" Kamarov said, in a tone that matched.

Detective Eric. He was here. At this very restaurant.

"Kam! Did you hear? I've... I've come out! I'm a free man Kammy!"

Kamarov blushed, and stuttered a bit.

"T-That's great my friend, b-but..."

Worm walked in from the bathroom, doing a slight skip. He plopped down next to Kamarov.

"Hey beautiful!" Worm said happily. This caused Eric to gasp in surprise. Dinner was certainly awkward.

Back at the base...

"Who is he!" Worm yelled, stomping his foot and placing his hands on his hips in anger.

"An.. old friend." Kamarov said hesitantly.

"No! He's more than that, I know!"

That's when Griggs broke in.

"He's Kamarov's old boyfriend! Me, Soap, and Gaz all saw it! When Kamarov was a detective, Eric was his partner! They were secretely dating. Happy?" Griggs said.

Worm's lip quivered and he ran out of the barracks, bumping into Ghost on the way.

"What's his issue? C'mon Kamarov, let's go get this over with." Ghost said, pointing his thumb in the direction of the kitchen. Kamarov slouched his shoulders.

"Okay." He said with a huff, following Ghost out.

"Now, today we shall learn to make cereal" Ghost said, pulling out a box of honey nut cheerios. He set the box down on the counter, as well as a bowl, and napkin.

"Now, you can't mess this up. All you do is pour the cereal into the bowl until it's half full exactly. Next, you pour the milk until the cereal rises three thirds of the way to the bowl's surface. Just get the milk out of the fridge" Ghost instructed.

Kamarov nodded.

"Okay then. Remember: not too much milk" Ghost admonished. "I'm just going to get a spoon for the cereal. You can get started"

So Ghost walked over to the drawer that held most of the silverware. After retrieving a small spoon, he quickly went back to the direction of Kamarov. He hadn't heard any explosions, so that was good.

When he got back...everything seemed normal. The cereal sitting on the counter looked, not unappetizing, gross, or even the least bit nasty. It actually looked quite good.

"So...you made the cereal?" Ghost asked carefully.

The Sgt. Nodded happily, gesturing to the bowl. "Try some? I think I did it perfect!" He said cheerfully.

Ghost came slowly to the bowl, a little hesitant to try something of _Kamarov's_ willingly. Well...it didn't look too bad. Besides, Ghost was a cheerios kinda guy. Pulling up the mouth part of his balaclava, he dipped the spoon in the bowl, getting a bit bite ready. Then, he shoved it into his mouth, swallowing quickly, and barely chewing. He really shouldn't have.

His stomach jolted, and the spoon clattard to the floor. Whatever Kamarov poured into that cereal, it wasn't milk.

"...'The bloody hell did you put in this cereal?" He asked.

"Um, I, Uh, Er...wasn't this milk?" Kamarov asked, guestering to a carton. Ghost, who was clutching his stomach with one hand, grabbed the carton from Kamarov.

"You fucking idiot! This is prune juice!" Ghost shouted. Raising his voice only made his stomach twist worse. He was going to puke.

Shoving past Kamarov, he ran into the halls. 'Dammit, the bathrooms so far away!' He thought.

"Stop RIGHT there Ghost!" Captain Price hollered.

"Fuuucck" Ghost groaned. He pushed past the furious captain, making it to the bathroom just in time...

Worm sat on his bed. That was all he could do. Had the love of his life betrayed him? Clearly that detective was involved with his Kammy-Baby.

"Hey Worm, wanna go play Chinese checkers with Nikolai and me?" Roach asked.

"Noooo, that's okay. I'm too busy crying my eyes out. It feels like my hearts been ripped open and cut out of my chest!" Worm wailed.

"Umm...okay then. See you at dinner!" Roach said, blinking and leaving.

For dinner, there was Roast beef and mashed potatoes. Price sat at the head of the table. He usually made some small chatter with Shepard, but tonight he felt... off. He couldn't place a finger on it. For the first time in his life, he didn't feel satisfied with himself. Normally, this would be solved with a few loud commands and having the men take a shower, but tonight he was upset. Gaz walked past him, going to grab more melon.

"Sit down Gaz!" Price said irritably.

"What's your problem old man?" Gaz said.

"I'm not old! I'm only..." Price trailed off, and his mouth hung open. He began furiously stroking his mustache, mumbling how, 'the 'stash made him young.' Gaz looked at him strangely, shrugged, and grabbed an armload of melon.

Shepard looked at Price with a questioning look.

"Something wrong Price?" Shepard asked.

"There's... So much to do... and only half of my life left to do it." Price said sadly.

"Hmm. Sounds like something I've been through. Funny thing is, ever since I found myself in Columbia, I've had the strongest urges for coffee with two creams, one sugar exactly." Shepard mused.

"Found yourself? What the bloody hell do you mean?" Price asked hurriedly.

"Well, I think what you need is a vacation. I took a great one in that nice asylum, been feeling great ever since."

"Yeah... But I have duties! I'm Captain. How else will these men shower every night?"

"True. Those two misfits Gaz and Ghost don't seem to keen on the hygiene thing."

"Yeah. Cheeky bastards."

Dinner was nearly over. For Worm, it seemed like an eternity. He sat at a different table than Kamarov. Roach had sat with him, and Nikolai had joined, of course. They talked for a while about relationships. One such conversation ended with Nikolai beginning to cry, remembering the special relationship he had had with his plane. It took five minutes to calm him down. Then, something happened. The door to the mess hall burst open, and there stood a figure dressed completely in pink, holding flowers.

"Kam! I'm back for you darling!" Detective Eric pranced into the room and up to Kamarov. He put the flowers in his hand and hugged him. Everyone was very creeped out.

"Excuse me, but may I ask how you got into this base?" Price asked, furious at the intrusion.

"I'm a DETECTIVE silly-billy. I just maced the guards!"

"My god! Why you...!" Price began to stand, but Shepard held him back.

"I brought my sleeping bag! Where do you sleep? Ooo, this is going to be so much fun!"

Everyone looked at Price. Price wildly scanned the room with his eyes, then made his decision.

"Absolutely not! I won't allow intruders in my home!"

"Dearest me why not? Pish posh, I've all ready got my stuff for this fun night!" Eric said, smiling creepily at Kamarov. The Sgt. Looked, very uncomfortable.

"Now Now, why don't we all go take a shower, and then Kammy can show me where to set my things up?" Eric asked.

If anything were to make Price allow Eric to stay, it would definitely be for a shower. Price smoothed his mustache, then thought for a moment.

"All right you can stay the night, but ONLY for the night mind you. And you have to take at least a twenty minute long shower" Price ordered. Eric squealed like a school girl.

"Ooooh Goody-Nutters! This is totally gonna be fun!" Eric said, gleefully taking Kamarov's arm and skipping from the room. The whole base was silent.

"Get to your showers!" Price snapped. They all quickly descended to the showers, Ghost and Gaz going a bit slower. Ghost stopped all together, walking back in Price's direction.

"Sir, I REFUSE to help Kamarov any longer! I wont stand to be near his faliure stinking ass!" The Lieutenant shouted.

"Too bad! Your the one who stole, and made me get fined by that cheap turd Thunker!" Price snapped back.

"C'mon! Gaz broke Roach's arm, stole stuff way more expensive than me, _and_ he also went on a rampage in a restaurant the other day!" Ghost yelled.

"Shut up! I'm not going to sit here and deal with your ramblings! Shepherd, you deal with him!" Price yelled, walking towards the way to his office.

"Fine then! Your such a bald meanie head!" Ghost insulted him angrily. Price stopped dead in his tracks.

".!" He said, feeling the top of his head. "_Oh wait, I am bald", _He thought, turning and running out the door.

"...'The bloody hells wrong with him?" Ghost asked, turning to Shepherd.

"It's just the wooden wheels 'a turning" Shepherd muttered.

"...I think I'll go shower now" Ghost said.

For the next hour, things were very awkward in the showers. The room was made up of ten shower stalls, so while some men showered, others had to sit on the benches and wait. Kamarov sat on a bench, with no shirt on, and a dry towel thrown over his meaty back.

"Oooh Kam, you still have that same cute mole on the small of your back!" Detective Eric giggled. Kamarov reddened, and looked at Worm, who was sitting on a different bench.

"Eric, I really need to tell you that-"

"No time dearest. I see an open shower. Or did you want to join me?" Eric asked, attempting to use a seductive voice.

"N-No, I'm good" Kamarov stuttered.

"Are you sure? I'm sure we could work out someth-"

"He said he's FINE!" Worm yelled, stomping his foot on the bench.

"Can you guys keep it down? I'm trying to shower!" Paul Jackson yelled from a shower booth.

"That makes two of us. C'mon, hurry up! I just want shower time to be over with!" Ghost yelled.

"Hey! When were done showering, who want's to watch a scary movie with me?" Gaz called out.

"Meee!" Everyone replied.

"Oh yes! I'll need Kam to protect me from the horror though" Eric said, edging closer to a nervous Kamarov.

"How about we watch...The Descent?" Ramirez asked.

"Oh yeah! That'll be sooo awesome!" Ghost said.

At that moment, the door burst open. A frantic looking Price ran in, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"I've lost it! Where is it?" he yelled.

"Lost what sir?" Soap asked, a bit nervous.

"MY HAIR! It's gone! And it's your fault!" Price yelled, grasping desperately at the top of his head.

"Oh, and Ghost! Double showers for what you said at dinner!" Price yelled before running out. Ghost grumbled and punched the wall, which made his hand hurt. He yelled and lowered his head, letting the water spray down.

After showers, everyone but Ghost (for he had an extra shower to take) settled in to watch the movie. Kamarov could hardly concentrate, because every time something scary happened, Eric would cover both their eyes and scream quite loudly.

About halfway through the movie, the door opened. Everyone grumbled and complained as light filled the room. Ghost stood there. When they saw his hands, they all gasped in surprise.

"I know! I'm a monster." Ghost said. His hands were wrinkled beyond belief. The water had made his fingers like raisins. He flopped onto the floor and stared blankly at the TV.

Meat looked at Shepard and whispered, "Why is Ghost so down in the dumps?"

"He's just going through a rough patch. Don't worry, if you ignore it it'll be fine."

When the movie was over, everyone was a bit jumpy.

"I'm never going into a cave again! Not even for missions!" Gaz said to Ghost and Roach.

"Oh yes you are!" Price said, who appeared from around the corner.

"GAH! Don't eat me!" Gaz screamed, sheltering his head with his arms.

"What the hell did you all watch? Anyway, Ghost, I want you up bright and early to do cooking lessons with Kamarov. 4:30 sharp." Price said, folding his arms.

"What? That's a half hour before everyone gets up!"

"You don't see Kamarov complaining, do you? Just remember that your the one inconvieniencing him!"

"Your making me teach him!"

"And your the one waking him up to cook. Think about that while you go to bed."

Ghost just sighed and they all walked to the sleeping barracks.

Now, there was a bit of trouble once they got there. Normally, Kamarov and Worm shared a bunk. But Eric ran in and jumped onto the bottom bunk.

"Hey that's my spot!" Worm said.

"Oh pish posh, I've set up a sleeping bag right there for you dear!" Eric motioned.

The sleeping bag was a thin, worn thing, all the stuffing was torn out, and the pillow was quite small. It was also completely on the other side of the room.

"I thought that was your sleeping bag! That you were sleeping in!" Worm said angrily.

"Oh no no no. Kammy wanted us to share a bunk since I'm only here for the night. You can borrow my sleeping bag!" Eric said, pulling the covers up over himself. Kamarov just blushed and shook his head sadly, climbing into the top bunk as Worm dragged himself into the ragged sleeping bag.

As soon as everyone was all set in bed, the light were turned off, the the whole room was quiet. Some slept, while others thought about the creepy movie. Ghost was just livid about having to wake up earlier than the others the next morning.

"Soap, you awake?" He asked, peering at the top bunk, where Soap was sleeping.

"I guess so. What's on your mind?" Soap replied from the darkness.

"I want my laptop. I mean, now!" Wanna' help me take it?" Ghost asked, sitting up.

"In Price's office? At 3 in the morning?" Soap asked.

"Yeah! C'mon, lets go!" Ghost said, dragging Soap from his bunk.

At Price's office, they tried the doorknob.

"Locked, see? C'mon, lets go to sleep!" Soap said, walking away from Ghost.

"Oh no you don't! I think you're forgetting that we are soldiers! We're trained to pick locks!" Ghost said, shoving a bobby pin and a screwdriver into Soap's hands.

"Me? I'll get in trouble!" Soap said.

But he did it anyways, grumbling about it being so early the whole time. Then, the lock clicked open. The door opened silently. Price's office was dark, but there was a soft glow coming from the laser alarm system that guarded the safe.

"Hmm. Easy." Ghost said, slipping his arm between the laser grid. He pressed the button next to the safe, deactivating the lasers. Then, he got right to work fiddling with the combination lock.

"Ghost, those lasers are on a timer!" Soap said, looking towards the door.

"I know, I've almost got it!" Ghost said.

The lock on the safe clicked, and Ghost grinned beneath his mask. At that second, the lasers reactivated. As Ghost blocked them, alarms began to blare across the entire base. Red lights flashed everywhere.

"Just grab it and run!" Soap yelled, then sprinted, leaving Ghost behind.

"Shite!" Ghost yelled, grabbing his laptop and running at blinding speed.

Outside was chaos. All of the men were in their pajamas, scrambling towards the armory. Detective Eric looked most freaked out.

"We're under attack! Ahh, Kam, kiss me before we perish!" Eric said, collapsing.

Suddenly, a very angry looking Price stormed out of his private sleeping quarters.

"Price! Thank god you're here, I think were being attacked!" Roach yelled.

"Oh no were not. Those are the alarms for my office! Someone broke into it, and I have a good idea who." Price growled.

Ghost and Soap were inside the cabinets in the kitchen. From the sounds and shouting from outside, they could only guess that Price had sent the entire base after them. Ghost clung to his laptop, just happy to have it once again.

"Soap? Ghost? You guys hiding in here?" Gaz's voice came from the door.

"Shh!" Ghost whispered.

Gaz walked around the kitchen for a bit, then headed to the fridge.

"Well, as long as nobody's here, might as well get some melon." Gaz said, searching the fridge. After a moment of rustling, he slammed the fridge shut.

"I must have eaten poor Leonardo this morning. Oh wait! Alex is under the sink still!" Gaz said to himself excitedly. 'Alex' was Gaz's emergency watermelon. He needed an emergency melon so something bad wouldn't happen again.

"What a weirdo," Soap mumbled. At that moment, the cabinet opened, and Gaz's hand entered.

"Oh Alex! I know I left you in there," Gaz called to his precious melon. Soap looked down and saw the melon under his arm. He shoved it forward, just enough for Gaz to reach it.

"Ah ha! Found you, you little bugger!" Gaz said, cradling the melon. With that, he shut the cabinet door and left the kitchen, humming Happy Fruits to himself.

"I think were safe," Ghost said.

"FOUND YOU!"

The cabinet door flung open and a crazed Price stood there. He grabbed Ghost by the collar with one hand, Soap by the other, and dragged them out.

"Thought you could hide did you? Never! Gaz was my decoy. He knew you were there the whole time!" Price said smugly.

As Price led them out, the whole base booed at the two in anger. They weren't all to happy about being woken up. A fresh watermelon grind flew from the crowd, hitting Ghost in the head. Price just waved them off to bed.

"I thought I could trust you both better than this. Especially you Soap. You're not a troublemaker. I'm very disappointed." Price said, causing Soap to hang his head in guilt.

"As for you're punishments, Soap, you're cleaning the mess hall top to bottom. Ghost, in addition to ten more days grounded from you're laptop, I'm putting you on laundry duty for the week."

Soap just hung his head, nodding at the punishment, but Ghost was now very alert.

"Laundry duty? Do you realize how much bleach it takes to get the watermelon stain's from Gaz's shirts?" Ghost complained.

"You're risking truck cleaning too Ghost," Price said.

"Oh no no no, I'll do all the laundry its alright!" Ghost said cheerily, chuckling nervously.

The next day, Ghost woke being poked in the side of the head by Kamarov.

"Uh, time for cooking my friend," Kamarov said nervously.

Ghost groaned and pulled himself out of bed. He threw on some clothes, and walked with Kamarov to the kitchens.

"What meal are we making today?" Kamarov asked.

"Well, next on the list is Ramen Noodles. It's real simple. All you do is put water in the pot, put the noodles in, and boil it on the stove." Ghost said.

A smile grew on Kamarov's face.

"That sounds easy! I can't possibly mess it up!" Kamarov said excitedly.

"Whoa! Let's not get to ahead of ourselves. Here, cook the noodles. I've gotta' go see Price," Ghost said. Kamarov walked into the kitchen happily, and Ghost turned and walked to Price's office.

Ghost knocked on the door to Price's office.

"Come in, and make it snappy!" Price called.

So, Ghost entered. Price motioned him over to look at a computer screen. On it was a brand new car.

"Nice, eh? Only ten thousand, that's a good deal right?" Price asked, stroking his stache.

Ghost shrugged.

"Whatever you want sir. I'm sure that'll be fun for the base to drive."

"The base? This car is for ME! I need to feel the wind in my hair, the steering wheel and the gas pedal as I tear down the street, all the ladies calling, Price! Price! Price..." The Captain trailed off, seeming to be reminiscing about something.

Ghost blinked. "Okay sir...anyway, I just wanted to report to you that Kamarov is onto Ramen Noodles" He informed the captain, quickly leaving the room.

About halfway down the hall, he heard a giant bang! "Shite" he muttered, quickly dashing towards the kitchen. This could only mean one thing. Kamarov.

"What the bloody hell happened?" Ghost yelled. Kamarov was shielded behind a counter, shaking from head to toe.

"I-I dunno! It just went boom!" The Sgt replied.

Ghost went over the the exploded stove, looking at the contents that had spilled onto the floor from the pot. He looked at it more closely.

"What did you put into that pot besides Ramen?" Ghost slowly asked.

"I...dunno. The sink was piled with dishes, so I thought there might be a jug of water under the sink" Kamarov confessed. Ghost was pretty sure he knew what Kamarov had done. He bent under the sink, grabbing a bottle of Wind-X.

"Is this what you put in the pot?"

Kamarov's face reddened, as he nodded. Ghost groaned, running from the room and muttering something about eating microwaved yam...

Meanwhile, Price had gone to the local car store. He bought a very shiny, neon blue car. It's windows sparked, and it had no roof.

"I'll take it!" He told the salesman, pulling out a couple thousand and giving it to him right then and there. And so Price hopped into the car, playing...pop music. He knew just where he was going...the bar!

"All right, it looks like I have to go now. With my lovely duties as a detective and all" Eric giggled, getting into his bright pink car.

"Now Kam, I'll come back soon so don't fret! I love you!" The detective yelled, driving quickly off base.

"And I don't love you" Kamarov said to himself, muttering under his breath. From the mess hall window, Worm watched, a little concerned now instead of angry at his boyfriend's expression.

Meanwhile, Price was at the bar.

"I...wanna buy anoooother" Price said, his voice slurred as he talked to the man behind the counter of Jarred's Beer Bar.

"Aw shit man, you've all ready had ten shots! Now get out of my bar!" The counter man yelled angrily, shooing Price out the door.

Price slowly stumbled to his car, falling about three times on the way to where it was parked, which was only ten feet away.

"Mmmm, I smell the smell of a new carrr. I wannnnt to drive this baby to her toppp miledge" Price said to himself, swaying back and forth as he got into his new car.

Price first only drove ten miles over the speed limit. He gradually kept speeding up though, and soon he was going 95 miles per hour. The speed limit was 35. The drunk captain was swerving from side to side of the long highway, and it was a good thing that not many other cars were driving as well.

Soon though, Price heard the sound of sirens blaring behind him. He grinned, still drunk, and talked to himself about the 'lovely music coming from behind'.

The cop car was getting closer, and Price finally got some, (not a lot mind you) of his senses back. At least enough sense to pull over. For a few minutes, the cop stayed in the car, writing down something. Price was pretty calm since he was drunk, though a part on his mind screamed at him that this was trouble.

"Sir dear, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car" The voice of Detective Eric said, tapping on the window!

"Eric? Whaaa...you doing here?" Price asked, hiccuping.

"Of my my, Captain Price. I never knew you were one for drinking" Eric tsked, feeling Price's pockets for weapons as the old Captain stood with his hands on the car.

"I'm afraid your under arrest for drunk driving, and speeding" Eric announced, putting handcuffs on Price's rough hands, before leading him to the cop car.

Ghost, Soap, Worm, and Royce were all playing go-fish. Royce was in the lead, with Ghost close behind. Soap of course was in last place, like always. That was when the phone hooked up in the lounge rang. Ghost got to it first.

"Hello, anti terrorist base of awesomeness" He said, holding the phone to his ear.

"Yes, this is Detective Eric calling from the local police station. We have Captain John Price here, for drinking and driving at a criminal speed" The girly detective said. For a moment, Ghost stood still. Then, he chucked.

"All right then. I'll be down to get him" Ghost replied, hanging up the phone.

"Who was that?" Soap asked curiously.

"What? Oh nothing. Price just got caught drunk driving, so I gotta pick him up from the station. Can you believe that detective Eric actually arrested him?" Ghost said mildly, preparing to leave out the door.

"Wait! Can I come with you?" Worm suddenly spoke up.

"Um..sure thing mate. C'mon, we have to hurry" Ghost answered. And so Worm followed, and they were soon on their way to the police station.

When they got there, Detective Eric was sitting at the front desk, reading some tween magazine.

"Ahem.." Ghost cleared his throat. Eric looked up, smiling.

"Why hello there. Are you here for Price?" The detective asked. Ghost nodded.

"He's in cell eight. Here" Eric handed him the keys. Ghost went down the hall, leaving Worm and Eric alone.

"So..." Worm asked lightly.

"So?" Eric replied.

"So yeah! I want you to stay away from Kamarov! Your harassing him, and he's MINE! We've been dating for over three months! Stay away!" Worm screamed at the top of his lungs, slamming his fist into Eric's eye.

"Eeeek! How dare you insult me so! Kam was mine once before, and he will be again!" Eric said, before going into a fit of sobs. Worm crossed his arms, smiling.

Meanwhile, Ghost had reached Price's cell. The Captain was sitting on a cell bench, his face in his hands.

"Hello sir. You picked a busy day to get arrested" Ghost said, smirking slightly. Price looked up at him.

"Not now Ghost" He muttered.

"Look at how the tables of turned" Ghost said.

"I get it, your punishment's over. Now can you please get me out of here?" Price asked. Ghost joyfully let his captain out, and they walked out to where a sobbing Eric stood, next to a triumphant Worm.

"I'm not even gonna ask. Here's your keys sir" Ghost said, handing them back to Eric. Then, the three soldiers turned to leave. Just as they were almost out the door, Eric said, "Mark my words, Kam will be mine someday"

"Just ignore him" Price said, as the three got into the car.

And so some things were good, while other things were bad. Ghost was now a happy man, because his dreadful punishment was over. Worm was happy, because he had Kamarov all to himself, for now. But Price was a very unhappy camper. Hopefully though, things would turn brighter for him.

Is it the end? Of course not, the fun never ends!

**Hello everyone! I updated pretty quick, didn't I? I'm proud of myself! And chapter 14 is all ready about halfway done. I've been on a roll typing this month! So anyway, how'd you like it? It's not as funny as some of my others, but still, I tried :p I feel bad for all the turmoil put on Ghost, but that's okay, cause he's all better now! It's Price we have to worry about. I'm very sorry for any spelling mistakes or anything. I got some great reviews for the real chapter 12, so I'll respond to them! Here we go:**

**Epsilon Team hande: Thank you! I always love your reviews! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed typing it. :D**

**TarTarIcing: Thanks, I've tried to improve the grammor mistakes more :) I hope you liked this chapter!**

**LittleDragonNeko: Ahhaha thanks for reviewing! I hope you liked this chapter, don't worry, chapter 14 is almost done as well :DDD**

**GriggsGoneWild: Ahahah I'm glad you liked it. Haha my brother laughed at the Macmillan email as well :)))**

**LovingTimeZone: Ahaha thanks for reviewing! Lol I knoww, Hobo rocks! Maybe we'll see him again in a later chapter or something :DDD**

**Mr. asdfghijkl: I'm glad you liked it! Actually, I was considering putting in those characters in as well. Maybe I will sometime :D I'll see how it goes :DD Thank you for reviewing!**

**Thank you also, for everyone who had read with my story! Happy Reading!**

**And just a good ol' reminder: I don't own cod, or any cod characters! I just own Detective Eric, since I made him up lol! But yaayyy! See you all soon!  
**


	14. Vacations, girlfriends, and watermelon!

**Hey guys! I know...it's been way to long since I've last updated. I know this isn't the longest, but just you wait ;) This chapter is going to be two parts; I just felt so bad since it's been months and everything, and I just felt that I should give you guys at least something! Anyways, onto the story!**

It was a boring day on the SAS base. Many of the soldiers were just doing hard work, or lounging about in the mess hall. It was freezing though. A huge blizzard was making its way to surface. That was because Christmas was three weeks away.

So right now, John "Soap" Mactavish and Simon "Ghost" Riley were trying to do a difficult task. Orders from their Captain, John Price, they were now out in the freezing cold trying to put up Christmas lights around base.

"I don't get it. Why us? It's like, below zero out here!" Ghost grumbled, trying desperately to untangle a jumble of lights.

"Beats me mate. Maybe the other guys are busy" Soap suggested lightly.

"Gaz is taking a NAP! And Meat's listening to rap music with Griggs!" Ghost yelled.

"Well there's nothing we can do about it. Besides, Price has seemed a little...down lately. I mean, you know how he's been feeling. And we just have to be there for him, even if it means following his commands of hard labor" Soap told him.

That was when Foley came outside, tripping and stumbling the whole way. He did a face plant into the snow, and didn't get back up, groaning. He was the one of the base with the worst coordination. He could be walking down a hallway, and the American would still fall over nothing at least five times.

"You all right?" Ghost asked, giving the man a hand and helping him back up.

"Ugh yeah, it's nothing some band aids won fix. Anyways, Price wants to see you Soap. He said you both could be done for today" Foley informed them, before limping his way back to the mess hall entrance.

Soap knocked on Price's office door. For a moment, nobody answered, but a few seconds later, the Scot was greeted by a large stache-faced man.

" Hello Soap. C'mon in" The captain said. Soap sat in the chair located directly across from Price's desk. Price sat in his chair as well, folding his hands in a business like manor.

"You remember awhile back when I was in Prison? You took over as Captain for me for a short while" Price said.

"Y-yes sir" Soap was a little taken back. He had no idea that Price would start the conversation with something like this. That event was barely even spoken of now, unless they talked of how much they hated sneaky lil Makarov.

"Well Soap, you know how old I'm getting. I've got so many things I've wanted to do, and so little time to do it" Price said.

"Sir, your really not that old. Shepherds at least five years older then you" Soap said, shocked that his 'Tough and rough around the edges' Captain would talk about such a thing.

"Well, it's made me decide something. From life in the army, I've traveled to just about any country or place you can name on the map. Every place but Jamaica" Price explained, pulling out a dusty old map from his desk drawer.

"So your saying that you want to go to Jamaica?" Soap asked. Price nodded.

"That's great then. I'm sure the whole base would love a vacati-" Soap started, but was interrupted.

"Oh, no no no. I don't mean the whole team. God only knows what sort of mischief you men would come up with there. I need alone time. I need to find myself" Price said, pounding his fist on the desk with determination

"Wait a minute...can you explain a little better? Find yourself? Price do you have any idea what your saying?" Soap was in shock.

"Yes, in-fact, I've thought about this a lot. In two days, I'm going to travel to Jamaica." Price told him.

"Excuse me? What the...for how long?" Soap asked, alarmed.

"Not for long mind you. Only for two weeks" Price said, smiling.

"Two weeks? B-but what about the base? You cant just leave us here! Your our Captain!" Soap shouted.

"Now now Soap, calm down. I've decided that since you did such a great job last time I was gone, you can take over as Captain for the time that I'm gone" Price said, smirking. Soap's eyes instantly widened.

"NO! You cant really be serious! I-I'm-It's, no I cant be captain again!" Soap said, going into panic mode.

"Relax Soap. It's only for two weeks. That's just 14 days" Price said comfortingly. "Now go take a shower while I inform everyone else!" He snapped. Soap stood there stuttering over nonsense words coming out of his mouth, before turning to run form the room without a look back.

At dinner, the whole cafeteria was talking about Price's 'Vacation'. Some said it would rock, some said it would suck, and some said it was going to be a nightmare. Or at least the last bit was Soap's words.

"Relax mate, this is gonna be fun. We can get away with anything with you being captain" Ghost said, smiling as he bit into a cheeseburger.

"Don't think that. Besides, Shepherd is still going to be here as well" Soap said.

"Pshh, that old grandpa? He spends half the day reading old adventure novels, and the other half sleeping or high fiving Meat" Ghost said, chuckling at the memory.

While they were talking about that, Gaz was having a heated argument about Price, involving his vacation.

"I don't see why you have to go. Who am I gonna sit with at dinner? And who's going to make sure I shower, and make sure we do all our work?" Gaz asked.

"Soap's going to be doing all of that" Price answered, in the middle of chewing a french fry.

"Can't I come with you? I promise to be good!" Gaz pleaded. Price spat his french fry out in disgust.

"YOU? Come on a vacation with ME? No Gaz, that's not the way it works. You have your responsibilities here, whilst I go and find myself. Notice how theres no plural in 'myself'? It's just me" Price said.

"That's not fair! We never go on vacation!" Gaz said angrily.

"...We went to Joe's Funland just three months ago!" Price shouted.

"Ahem. Might I suggest something?" Shepherd asked.

"Make it quick!" Gaz snapped.

"Don't talk to a General that way!" Price yelled.

"Stop telling me what do do!" Gaz shouted.

"Idiot!" Price muttered.

"Old!" Gaz shot back.

"MIGHT I SUGGEST, that we all shut out mouths and eat?" Shepherd said coldly. Price and Gaz both froze, before going back to eating.

"...old ma-" Gaz started.

"Enough!" Shepherd yelled. Gaz quickly shut his mouth.

Soon, Price was all packed and ready for his little vacation. Everyone on base was saying goodbye, as their captain climbed into his truck, getting ready to drive to the airport.

"Good luck on your trip sir"

"Have a good time"

"Bring me back a souvenir" Were all the things they said. Soap was still scared about being Captain again. Last time he was, it was like his own personal hell.

"Price, if you would just reconsider this. Make somebody else Captain! I'm not cut out for the job" Soap tried to get Price to change his mind one last time.

"It's only for two weeks. Besides, I put the number of the hotel I'll be staying in, right in my top desk drawer" Price said. "Call only if there's a major emergency that you, or Shepherd can't handle"

"Ugh, fine! But if the place ends up exploding, then it's not my fault!"

"Actually, it would be your fault, considering that your to be the Captain for the next few weeks" Price added.

And so then, the old Captain drove away, his next destination being the airport, and then Jamaica. For a brief moment, everyone just stood there, unsure of what to do.

"FREEDOM!" Ghost finally shouted. Soap shot him an admonishing look, but Ghost just ignored him. Soap grumbled to himself, taking out his small notebook.

"Okay, so I was thinking that for starters, the old warehouse next to the shed could use a coat of paint. Meat, you and Griggs get to that. And then we have-" He started to say, but he then realized that everyone had ran away!

"Why me? Whyyyy?" Soap screamed, falling to the ground in an overly dramatic manor. Nobody came to his aid. Not even his best friend.

It was now dinner time. The cooks were serving chicken and dumplings, along with broccoli, and apple juice. It really was quite good, especially with the homemade chocolate cake for dessert.

"Lets watch a movie!" Paul Jackson shouted. Everyone agreed, except Soap.

"Er, I really think Price had some stuff planned for you. He wanted you all to wash the military trucks..." He said quietly. Of course nobody paid attention to him.

"Let's watch a horror film!" Roach spoke up.

"Ooooh, can we watch Shutter Island?" Nikolai asked. Once again, everyone agreed, except Soap.

"What's the movie even rated? I bet it's rated R. Remember the last time Meat watch a rated R movie?" Soap pointed out. Everyone though back to that day,,,,

flashback

The night before, everyone had watched Wolfs Creek. Now Meat lay curled up under Price's desk, muttering about how he was never going to go to Australia. It took about three hours and forty minutes to get him to come out

End of flashback

"So maybe pick a...less graphic movie" Soap suggested.

"...You suck! We wanna watch Shutter Island, and there isn't anything you can do to stop us!" Gaz yelled.

"Were with Gaz!" Everyone else shouted. Ghost came over, clasping a hand on his friend's back.

"I guess this captain stuff is working out for you once again, isn't it?" He asked, smirking slightly.

"Shut up!" Soap growled.

"You shut up!" Ghost replied playfully.

"No you!" Soap said back.

While the two best friends were in that argument, Gaz put Shutter Island in, whilst Kamarov dimmed the lights. They then all sat in their movie positions, all ready for a terrific night. Soap finally realized what was going on, and decided to stay and watch it as well, since he had never seen it before.

Finally it ended.

"T-that was so amazing!" Foley said, wiping his eyes and tripping over nothing as he stood.

"I dunno. I thought it was a little creepy" Paul Jackson.

"Well, we should all get to the barracks. It's back to work tomorrow" Soap informed them. A few men sighed, but most of them walked to their beds with little complaining.

Price stepped off of the the plane. He had taken a first class seat, so the ride had been splendid, much to the Captain's content. Now he was headed for the airport security, so that he could then head off to the hotel he was staying at. The place was called, Pinky's Paradise, and despite the name, the place was a five star vacation spot to stay.

Jamaica was indeed a lovely place. The street's were a lit with dozens of people, and the sun shone brightly. Price breathed in the fresh air, smiling happily.

"This is the life..."

Back at the base, things were going pretty okay..so far. Some men were taking weapon lessons, while others just hung about. Take Paul Jackson, James Ramirez, and Foley for instance. They were standing on the roof of the mess hall.

"See how awesome my gun is? I just got a new red dot site attached, it's so beautiful!" Jackson said, showing his gun to his other two friends.

"Can I hold it?" Ramirez asked hopefully. Jackson gave it to him. The yank held it up high, tossing it into the air and catching it. Then it slipped from his finger tips, falling far down to the ground. Jackson stood seething, his fists balled up angrily.

"Ramirez...I'm gonna kill you!" He screamed, making a grab for the startled American. Ramirez screamed, making a mad dash for the ladder. After climbing down it, he ran wildly to the outside track, Jackson right at his heels.

"Help me! Heeellllp!" He screamed, running to where Soap, Gaz, Ghost, and Nikolai were standing.

"What's the issue Ramirez?" Soap asked, holding a struggling Paul Jackson.

"I-I-he...I accidentally dropped his gun and now he's going to kill me!" The American stuttered, shielding his face with his hands.

"Oh no he's not! If Jackson want's to hurt my pal Ramirez, he'll have to go through me!" Gaz stated proudly, stepping in front of Ramirez with his arms folded. Ghost observed the scene for a few seconds before going into a fit of laughter.

"C'mon you idiots, let's go eat lunch"

For lunch there was grilled cheese and tomato soup, sided with milk and watermelon. None of the other men got any melon, for Gaz went around grabbing the slices off everyone's plates. He then sat in his seat, eating watermelon by the dozen.

"Gaz, you'll make yourself sick eating melon that fast!" Soap exclaimed from his seat across from the Lt.

Gaz didn't reply, too busy eating. That was when the watermelon lover got an idea. He stood up, making his way over to where Ramirez sat with Griggs and Meat.

"Hey Ramirez, how would you like to go on a nice outing?" He asked.

"Outing?" Ramirez questioned through a bite of grilled cheese.

"Yes outing. We can go to Joe's Sprinkles and get some after lunch dessert" Gaz answered.

"Hey that sounds like fun! Can Griggs and I go? Can Shepherd come too?" Meat yelled excitedly.

"Yeah, that sounds awesome!" Griggs added.

"Sure thing! C'mon, let's go!" Gaz said, making way to Shepherd's office. Before he made it out of the cafeteria, he paused before bending over, and puking all over the table that Soap and Ghost ate at.

"Oops, sorry sir! Well, see ya!" Gaz said cheerfully, running out with the three Americans.

"I told him he shouldn't have eaten 100 pieces of melon. He would have listened to Price...how do I make people listen to me Ghost?" Soap asked.

15 minutes later:

"I can't believe your making me drive you all just for ice cream..." Shepherd grumbled behind the wheel of his silver Toyoda jeep.

"We really appreciate it Sir" Gaz happily thanked his general. "Hmmph" Was all Shepherd could reply with.

Soon they had arrived at the wonderful ice cream store, and the men quickly got in line, Shepherd just waiting in the car. Meat had promised him his favorite, coffee ice cream with two times the cream, one times the sugar.

Gaz got watermelon flavored ice cream with strawberry syrup, and green sprinkles in a watermelon colored bowl. Meat got a chocolate and vanilla swirl with rainbow sprinkles on a sugar cone. Griggs got moose tracks topped with whip cream on a waffle cone. Ramirez got a simple hot fudge Sunday.

They were all walking back to the car, Ramirez last. Little did he know that his shoe lace was untied. He stepped on it by mistake, and tripped forward. Before he knew it, his ice cream was out of his grasp, and went flying through the air. He heard a shrill scream.

"Um, Ew? This disgusting food landed on my new tank top!" A lady said, scrunching up her nose. Ramirez looked at her more closely, and his mouth dropped open. She was a Goddess, a model, an angel!

The woman had long blonde hair that had been clearly flat ironed. It went down to the middle of her back. She had bright blue eyes, outlined with a thick coating of eye liner and mascara. She also wore a tank top that showed her belly button, and the tank was clearly low cut.

The best part was her legs. She wore a bright pink minnie skirt, and her pale legs looked so beautiful. Of course the American could only stare for a moment, before realizing that his ice cream had upset her.

"Ma'am, I'm so sorry! I should have been more careful. Please let me go get you some napkins!" Ramirez said, quickly scrambling to his feet.

"Okay? Whatever. Gosh people are SOOO stupid these days" The woman said. Soon the American soldier returned with about twenty napkins.

"Ughh, you've totally ruined my new shirt! I spent like, forty dollars on this!" She whined.

"Oh no! Here, I can give you the money, it's the least I can do! By the way, my names James Ramirez" He said, handing her a fifty dollar bill.

"Tiffany Merlane" She answered, holding her chin up high.

"Yo! Get into the car Ramirez, we don't have all day!" Griggs yelled from Shepherd's car.

"Yeah, we have needs too! Get your ass in the car!" Gaz added.

"Well, I'd better be going. I really am sorry about all this" Ramirez said to Tiffany.

"Well obviously you should feel sorry! The least you could do is take me on a date!" Tiffany said, stamping her high heeled foot.

"Y-you want me to take you on a date?" Ramirez was shocked.

"Duh! That's what I just said, right? Here's my number, make it last" Tiffany said, shoving him a piece of paper. Ramirez could only stare at it until Shepherd's car beeped.

"Uh..see ya soon" Ramirez said, before running and getting into the jeep.

"What went on out there mate?" Gaz said, grinning whilst eating his ice cream.

"I just got that girl's number. She want's me to take her out on a date" Ramirez answered. The other men, including Shepherd, choked on their ice cream.

"That piece of trash? She is NOT your type dude!" Griggs said.

"Yeah! She didn't even have the decency to cover up her belly button!" Meat added.

"Some people are attracted to that!" Ramirez defended himself.

Price found his room at the hotel to be very nice indeed. There was a king size bed, a mini fridge with soda and various foods, and a perfect view of the Jamacia city below. After spending a few minutes getting settled in, Price was soon changed into his swim suit. His chest was coated with thick, grizzly hair.

"Ah..the beach. It reminds me of my younger days..." Price mused to himself while applying sunscreen to his nose and around his mustache. He was laying in a beach chair at the beach that was just in back of the hotel. He had a sun tanning thing over his face.

"Same here" A voice answered him.

He turned to look beside him. Another man way laying in a chair too, his face blocked by a huge hat-ish thing, resembling in a sunbrero, and he was drinking something in a coconut with an umbrella.

"I came here just to get away from it all, you know?" Price told the man, laying back into the chair with his arms behind his head.

"Ahhh, I completely understand. That's the reason I came too" The stranger answered. For a few minutes they were both silent.

'You know, you sound kinda familiar..." Price said, falling into a slight trance.

" You know what, you do too. Well,I guess I'll go get another drink" The man said, rising up form his chair, taking his hat off.

"Oh get me one too will ya?" Price asked, dropping his sun tan thing and reaching into his pocket for money. That was when he saw the man's face, and gasped.

"Sneaky Lil' Makarov?"

"Captain Price?" Bother men shouted at the same time.

"How dare you come and destroy my vacation!" The angry captain screamed.

"ME? Your the one ruining my vacation!" Makarov snapped back.

"This doesn't end here" Price said, snatching the hat off of Makarov's chair and storming away.

Soon they arrived back on base again, and of course Gaz was the first to tell everyone about Ramirez's 'date' wih Tiffany.

"Guess what everyone! Ramirez is taking some girl on a date tonight!" The watermelon lover shouted in between laughter.

"Really man? With who?" Paul Jackson asked, clasping Ramirez on the shoulder.

"Her name's Tiffany!" Ramirez stated proudly.

"Is she very ugly?" Ghost asked Gaz.

"I dunno mate. Didn't get a good look at her, but from what I did see from the van, she looked like a very high maintenance kinda person though" Gaz stage-whispered back.

"I don't think Ramirez could handle a girl!" Foley said, stumbling into the barracks.

"Can too!" Ramirez said defensively, blushing.

"Aw, go easy on the poor guy. I doubt any of you could get a date! You're all to ugly," Jackson said.

"Oh yeah? What do you call yourself?" Ghost said angrily.

Soap walked into the room, muttering about ranch dressing and pillows, looking very distressed.

"Hey Soap! I can handle a girlfriend right?" Ramirez asked pleadingly.

"Huh? Oh, yeah I guess," Soap said, shuffling through some papers in his hands.

"You're no help," Ramirez said, sulking out of the room, Paul Jackson at his back.

Soap groaned loudly as he flipped to another paper.

"What is it mate?" Ghost asked, a bit concerned about Soap's attitude recently.

"Price want's someone to rake the baseball field, change all the targets at the obstacle course, and help Meat with some fairy house project," Soap said.

"Sounds like you got a lot to do. See ya!" Ghost said, turning and walking out of the barracks.

Soap turned to Gaz, as everyone else left as well.

"Gaz, could you help Meat with that fairy house?" Soap asked.

"No way! I've got a brand new watermelon to eat. His name's Arnold," Gaz said dreamily, then turned to go eat Arnold.

Soap hung his head.

"How does Price do it?" he wondered out loud.

Ramirez looked at Tiffany's number, wondering if he should call her. He decided to, heading towards the phones. When he was there, he dialed the number, waiting a bit anxiously for the answer.

"Hello? Who the heck is this?" Tiffany's voice was clear as day.

"Tiffany? Hi, this is James Ramirez, we met at Joe's Sprinkles?" Ramirez said nervously.

Tiffany's voice went from bored to interested quickly.

"Yeah, your the guy who ruined my forty dollar shirt," she said.

Ramirez was surprised, not knowing what to say to something like that.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. Did you find a new one?"

"No thanks to you. Now, when is our date Jack?"

"It's James. And, uh, how about 7:30 tomorrow night? We can go to Nate's Restaurant," Ramirez said, praying she would say yes.

There was a moment of silence, then Tiffany spoke again.

"Sounds good. Here's my address."

Price sat in his hotel room, angry that Makarov had come to ruin his fun. He was invited to a party however, at The Juicy Coconut, a club about a mile from his hotel. He was even offered a ride in a limo by the guy who invited him!

"Hello, this is John Price, room 226? I'd like room service while I'm away please. I'll leave my key at the front desk," Price spoke to the kind receptionist over the phone.

"Of course. Have an awesome time at your party Mr. Price."

Price pondered the Makarov situation on his way out, wondering if he would show up at this party. He decided to ignore that thought however, leaving his key at the desk and walking out towards his limo.

Nates Restaurant was full of hustle and bustle. Ramirez wore a tight suit that didn't fit him to well, and the tie was tucked in all weird. He looked around for Tiffany, so nervous his face was green.

"Ummm, over here!" called Tiffany's unmistakable high pitched voice. Ramirez waved awkwardly and ran forward, tripping over his feet.

'God, now I know what Foley feels like all the time,' he thought as he straightened up. He sat down at the table, desperately straightening his tie and smiling lopsidedly.

"Hey goofball, wondered when you'd show up," Tiffany said, leaning forward on the table.

"Oh, sorry, it was a mess trying to find a car to use. I'm kinda new to this whole driving thing to. Shepard mostly does it for us," Ramirez explained, rather quickly.

"Is that that old guy who brought you to that dumpy ice cream place? What is he, your great great great great grandfather or something?" Tiffany asked, not really seeming to care.

"No, he's my- uh- boss," Ramirez said. At that moment, the waiter came over to the table. He looked old, and kind of scary.

"Your orders...?" he said, cutting off and staring at them intensely.

"Um, a cheese-burger with extra pickles please. And Tiffany will have, um..." Ramirez glanced at her nervously.

"A small salad please. Watching my figure," she said, tossing her hair behind her ear.

"Will that be all? I'll be right out with that." The waiter wandered off, saw this guy leave for the bathroom, stopped and poured his soda on his meal, then continued to the kitchen.

"So, do you have anything interesting to say?" Tiffany asked. As Ramirez opened his mouth, ready to tell her all about Gaz's antics, she cut him off.

"Actually, I'll just talk about me."

Ramirez sighed. This was going to be a long night.

Soap was panicking. Gaz had started a 'rebellion against the man' rally in the mess hall. The men were all currently shirtless, screaming at the top of their lungs as Gaz, who was standing on a table and only in his underwear and wearing black war-paint, was preaching about the evils of rules.

"Gaz, get off that table!" Soap yelled, but to no avail.

Gaz cried out dramatically, "Look here! The hater has joined us! Let us drown him in the sea of a thousand melons, and send a message to the skies by burning down the guard towers!"

Soap's eyes widened. He thought burning all the guard towers sounded a bit extreme, but he had no idea what the 'sea of a thousand melons' was. It turned out that the men had all filled a small kiddie swimming pool with watermelon juice. They all tied up Soap and threw him in, then set off screaming about eternal glory, carrying dangerous looking torches.

"You know the men haven't showered all day. Its getting bad again." Soap looked up to see Shepard, standing there in a bathrobe. Luckily, and rather oddly, he was wearing silk pajama pants as well.

"I know. How do I control them Shepard?" Soap asked as Shepard helped him up, untieing the soaked and sticky Captain.

"What you need is some soap," (Pun intended) Shepard said, sounding serious.

"Anyways, be harder on them. Start dishing out the punishments, and start getting loud. Make yourself heard, that will set them straight. Come on, I'll show you," Shepard said.

Soap followed Shepard out of the mess hall, quite interested in just how to control these savages.

Ramirez and Tiffany had a very awkward dinner-at least awkward for Ramirez, that is. Tiffany never seemed to stop talking. The trouble was, everything she said was so utterly unimportant. All about her dog, Trixy, and her cat, Toodles. How she walked them both at the same time, how she fed them the same meals, how she gave them daily baths and how they were so cute and fluffy. Sometimes, she would ask Ramirez a question, and when he started to answer, she would start talking again. At the end of their meals, which seemed to take forever to finish, Ramirez was almost happy it was over.

"Ug, now I've got to call a taxi home, those things smell so bad," Tiffany complained as Ramirez dug out the last of his money to pay for the meal.

"Well, I have a truck, I can take you home," Ramirez offered, trying to be nice.

"Sounds good. Come on Josh," she said. Ramirez tried to tell her his name was James, but couldn't, as she was already walking out the door. When they got outside, Tiffany gasped.

"Oh - my - god! You didn't tell me you were in the ARMY!" Tiffany said excitedly, pointing at the truck.

"Oh yeah, well it's kind of a secret task force thingy, but yeah, its kinda like the army, I guess," Ramirez said grinning, happy he was finally impressing Tiffany.

"Can you show me your base?" Tiffany asked, jumping in the passenger seat. Ramirez knew civilians weren't allowed on base, but Tiffany was so pretty, and he wanted her to think he was cool.

"Can't hurt."

**Dun Dun Dunnnn! Part two will be out soon, VERY soon in fact. By the way, you can thank my idiot brother for making me update. So yeah, thanks Eric. I would like to thank all of you for your reviews, they are what made me update. It motivated me, so even though my brother made me, the reviews were what really touched my heart. Aww now my brother laughing at this authors note. Mean Eric! *Slaps him across the face***

** So yeah, I'll be in touch! Stay on your toes, cause this story is going to be E-P-I-C with a capital E!**


	15. Mad with power, and the epic jailbreak

It was a bright and sunny night in Jamaica. Captain John Price was rocking out to the beat of some very interesting techo music, which he called the 'boop bop poop hop' music. Lots of neon lights were flashing all around The Juicy Coconut, a very big and fun night club in the Jamaican City. Captain Price was wearing a white t-shirt and shorts, which were covered in highlighter, making him glow in the dark light of the club. Before he left he had preened his mustache, combed what little hair he had, and shined his rented club shoes. Two ladies were dancing with him, as he made conversation over the loud beeping music.

"-So I told him, if you're not going to eat the watermelon, then you'll have to go shower!" Price yelled, causing the two pretty girls to giggle.

"Oh Mr. Price, you're sooooo handsome!" one tanned, black haired girl said, grabbing his arm.

The other girl, a blonde with really long hair, grabbed his other arm.

"Yeah, you dance really, like, awesome!"

Price grinned and danced faster, spinning and whirling, jumping and bumping out to the music. Suddenly, it stopped, causing all the dancing people to become confused, then begin to boo in anger.

"I was just getting my groove on! What's the deal?" Price yelled angrily, his mustache looking large and threatening.

A man dressed in a purple glittery suit and a large sombrero walked to the center of the dance floor. His head was hung, and his face couldn't be seen. He held out his hand and a microphone flew from the crowd, and he caught it with one hand, without looking.

"Captain Price. You certainly have the groove on tonight. However, MY groove is better," the man said in an all to familiar voice.

"Makarov?" Price said furiously.

"Yes Price! I challenge you to... a dance off!" Makarov yelled, throwing the sombrero off and into the crowd, revealing his sneaky lil face.

The crowd ooed and ahhed, then began to chant, "Dance off! Dance off! Dance off!"

Price hesitated, then nodded his head, then kept a nodding rythem as he walked onto the dance floor. The music began to play loudly and the crowd cheered. Price began to dance. He was a blur, spinning and pumping his fists. He pulled off a jumping twirl and landed in front of Makarov, folding his arms. The crowd cheered, but Makarov began to dance. It was really a pitiful sight, watching him try to keep up with the beat.

Price smirked, then tore off his shirt, earning an eruption of cheers and claps. He danced fast and matched every beat of the song. The music stopped playing and Price put up his hands in peace signs, relishing his victory.

"I wont let you steal my glory!" Makarov screamed, pouncing on Price.

The crowd screamed and cheered them on as they began punching eachother, cursing and screaming. Soon, everyone else had found someone to punch, and the crowd was in chaos. Security guards came in from the doors, but were soon dragged into the crowd. The guards were buried under fists and feet, helpless. In the center, Price was fighting, his adrenaline pumping, focused on one sole target. Makarov. He had been provoked, and he WAS NOT going to let this man ruin his vacation.

Suddenly, there was a hissing sound. Tear gas filled the room. Price stopped punching and Makarov released his leg from the death grip he had on him, and they both began to cough as they breathed the gas. Price looked up just in time to see security wrestling Makarov to the floor. He grinned victoriously before a security guard slammed him to the ground, putting handcuffs on his wrists. Price couldn't struggle anymore before he passed out.

**XxXxXxXxXxX**

The SAS base was in chaos. The men were running wild, shirtless and covered in war paint. Kamarov had refused to do this, and was hung by his underwear by the British flag in the middle of the base. They had lit the bottom of the flag pole on fire, and Gaz was now chanting something about Kamarov needing to learn the arts of being bad. That's when a very angry looking Shepard marched up to them, followed by a very timid looking Soap.

"GAZ! Knock it off before I strangle you!" Shepard yelled.

This succeeded in laughter from all the men, but Meat had stopped dancing, looking a bit scared. Gaz stepped foward.

"Oh yeah? How you gonna stop us... OLD MAN!" he yelled, laughing like a maniac.

Shepard's face grew very dark.

"I didn't want to have to do this Gaz, but you leave me no choice," Shepard yelled, then motioned to Soap.

Soap stepped up and looked at Shepard, a bit scared. Shepard nodded in reassurance, and Soap brought a backpack off his back. He unzipped it and brought out a very big, shiny watermelon. Gaz stopped, his eyes filling with fear.

"Wait! Not Marlin! Anything but that!" He cried, falling to his knees.

"Don't be a drama queen Gaz. Now get Kamarov down from there before I crush it," Shepard said threateningly.

Gaz paused, looking at the helpless Kamarov, then back at 'Marlin.' His face fell.

"Guys, get him down," he said.

The rest of the men groaned and lowered Kamarov, putting out the fire as well. Soap was amazed at how they all gave in. But it felt a bit... barbaric, threatening to crush a helpless melon, knowing it was Gaz's prized possession.

"That's how you do it Soap. Crack down on them, rule with harsh words and a firm hand. When it gets this bad though, improvise. Use their weaknesses. I wasn't really going to crush the melon, but Gaz didn't know that. Use it to your advantage..." Shepard was explaining to a wide eyed Soap, who was nodding in understandment.

Just as Shepard was telling them that they would listen to Soap or suffer the consequences, a truck pulled into the parking lot.

"Hey, Ramirez is back from his date!" Meat yelled excitedly.

Everyone abandoned Soap and Shepard, making their way to Ramirez. But they were all shocked when it wasn't Ramirez that stepped out of the truck. A gorgeous woman stepped out, with flowing blonde hair and a low cut black tank top. She had on skinny jeans. All the men could only stare in awe, except for Worm and Kamarov, who rolled their eyes and kissed eachother before going off to the barracks.

"Hey guys. Nice base. My dad's like, in the Army to," the woman said, smiling and tossing her hair behind her ear.

Ramirez stepped out of the truck grinning, then walked up next to her.

"Hey everyone! This is Tiffany. She wanted to meet everybody!" he said happily.

Shepard and Soap were the only ones who weren't pleased.

"Ramirez, civilians aren't allowed on base. It's a secret-" Soap tried to say, before Gaz cut him off.

"Ah stuff it Soap, you're not fooling anyone. She's only a freaking goddess, I mean c'mon!" Gaz said, before turning back around to stare again.

Shepard knocked Gaz hard in the back of the head, which caused him to groan in pain.

"Ramirez, she needs to go. This is a HUGE violation, you can't even imagine what Price would do if he found out about this. Take her home, and make sure she never returns. This is your only warning," Shepard said dangerously.

Ramirez hung his head. Tiffany didn't seem to mind, just smiling and waving.

"See you boys later," She said, winking.

Gaz kept staring until she had gotten in the truck, then burst out in happiness as soon as they were gone.

"She totally winked at me!"

The men all went off to the barracks, arguing about who she actually winked to, before Shepard and Soap exchanged worried glances. The two agreed to keep this quiet until Price came back, then they would discuss this Tiffany problem with him. Shepard went off to his office, and Soap went to Price's office.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

A sad, lonesome tune filled the air as Price walked down a cold rainy alleyway. The music made him feel trapped and alone, as if there were bars and concrete walls closing him in. He reached the end of the alleyway and found it was gated shut, locked. He groaned in pain and the alleyway faded.

"Wha- where...?" Price mumbled as he awoke.

Slowly, his surroundings came into focus. Concrete walls. A barred window and a big metal gate, locked shut. A lumpy, uncomfortable bed and a tray with a lump of cheese and some stale looking bread lay on the floor, half eaten. And there was music, some lonesome prison blues playing in the bunk above him. Price rolled out of bed and looked up. There was Sneaky lil' Makarov, staring at the ceiling, playing a harmonica. Price took it from his hands and threw it at the wall.

"Hey!" Makarov shouted.

"Shut up! Where are we? You, you rat, you, I'll kill you!" Price shouted.

"Stop! Were in jail, can't you tell? After the riot you started-"

Price grew infuriated.

"ME? You jumped me, you started that bloody riot!"

Suddenly, there was a loud clang against the bars. Both men looked to see a police man with a big club standing there.

"You both shut your faces! Listen up. You will be spending the night here, due for release tomorrow at noon. You will each be charged one hundred dollars for the public disturbance you caused, and you will both help to clean up The Juicy Coconut, is that clear?" The big man finished.

Price was upset though.

"That's not fair! This wanker started it, and now I have to spend the night with him? This is unacceptable!"

"Shut your FACE!" the big police man said, spraying spit everywhere.

As the guard left, Price wiped spittle off of his moustache. Then he rounded on Makarov.

"Were busting out of this joint."

Makarov seemed stunned, staring with a blank expression at Price's determined face, his moustache flaring, seeming to come alive with pride. Makarov shivered a bit at the thought of Price's moustache having a mind of its own, but quickly shook away the thought.

"Why? Were getting out tomorrow," Makarov said, but Price spoke right up.

"Admit defeat will you? God knows I, and YOU for that matter, need showers after that crazy party. They aren't giving us showers you hear! No phone call either, so we have to get out of this loony bin," Price reasoned.

"Fine. How do we do it?"

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

"GAZ! Get back here this instant, or it'll be your head on that stick!"

Gaz was laughing like a maniac, having just speared a stick through a fluffy pink slipper, that belonged to Kamarov. He was running across the tables of the mess hall, flailing the girly slipper all around.

"C'mon Soap, catch me if you can, you can't catch me, I'm-"

Gaz's rhyme was cut short as a blueberry hit him square in the eye. He howled in fake pain as Soap pelted him with more blueberries, until he surrendered. Soap ripped the slipper off the stick and tossed it to a sad looking Kamarov, before dealing with Gaz.

"You suck at being Captain!" Gaz shouted.

Soap grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and hauled him out to the track.

"Run it! Two miles, Ghost will supervise!"

Ghost watched Gaz run the track, glancing at Soap, a bit weary now that Soap had managed to get a hold of dealing with the troublesome men.

"Maybe you should let him off easy. If Price were here you probably would have just laughed at that," Ghost said, reading a punk/death metal magazine.

"Careful Ghost, you might be my best friend but you're still under me. I could have you out there next to that... lunatic," Soap paused, glancing menacingly in Gaz's direction, who noticed and tripped over his own feet.

Ghost closed his magazine and got up.

"You've gone mad with power mate," he said before walking off.

"Well you've gone soft! What happened to the days of punching people and throwing them into the back of trucks?" Soap yelled.

Ghost gave him the uncool 'thumbs down' before disappearing into the mess hall.

This went on for the rest of the day. Meat and Griggs had somehow managed to completely remove a toilet from the bathrooms and had mounted it on the roof, sitting on it and throwing water balloons down on unsuspecting men walking out of the mess hall. Soap had grounded them and made them reinstall the toilet, then clean the rest. Corporal Dunn had started a punch up with Foley over who thought Ramirez's girlfriend was hotter. Soap had handcuffed them to a flagpole outside, allowing the others to throw soggy bread at them for ten minutes.

Finally, Soap snapped. It happened to be Gaz, once again. Soap and Shepard were having a conversation at dinner, talking about how the men were probably retaliating because they missed Price. Just as Shepard had begun to convince Soap that the men needed a treat, and that he would treat them all to Joe's Sprinkles, Gaz had set off a firecracker in a bowl of rice, exploding it all over the mess hall.

"GAZ!" Soap roared, flinging himself over the table and chasing Gaz across the hall.

Gaz was nearly out the door when Soap had belly-dived and caught his ankle. Gaz howled as Soap dragged him back into the mess hall.

"Lick up the rice!" Soap screamed.

"But-"

"EAT IT! ALL OF IT!" Soap screamed, and Gaz hurriedly began to shovel the splattered rice into his mouth.

"I have had it with you men! Until Price comes back, I'm sending the cook's on another vacation! Kamarov will be cooking all of our meals, except Shepard and I's, until Price is home! Now shower and go to bed!" Soap yelled.

"But it's only six-" Meat started, but Soap cut him off.

"Shower and bed!" Soap snapped, then stormed back to his plate, calmly beginning to eat and maintain a casual conversation with Shepard.

The men all filed out, Gaz going as fast as he could to the shower, to avoid eating the rest of the mushed rice from the floors. Even Shepard looked a bit worried as Meat gave him a depressed look on the way out. It was going to be a week.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

"This uniform is huge!" Price complained.

"At least you're not still handcuffed," Makarov hissed.

Currently, Price was wearing a huge security uniform, leading Makarov out. They had knocked out the guard with his own club and stuffed him under the bed. Price had changed into his uniform and had decided to perform a 'prisoner transfer.' They were walking down the hall of the jail now.

"Once were out of this, were enemies again, get it?" Price said threateningly.

"Understood. Let's just get out of here," Makarov grumbled.

"So, how do you always manage to muck up things for me and my men?" Price asked casually.

"They don't call me Sneaky lil' Makarov for nothing you know," Makarov said, smirking.

"You're insane. Who's your boss anyways?"

"Nobody! But I'll give you a free tip. Zakhaev is not who he appears to be..." Makarov said in a foreshadowing manner, chuckling darkly.

Price gave a questioning look, but didn't go further into it. They had reached the front desk.

"I have a prisoner needing transfer. Need some car keys," Price said gruffly, trying desperately to mask his accent, and replace it with the deep, gravelly, guards voice.

"Don't got records on that, sorry." The desk man said, typing on his computer.

Price looked at Makarov, shrugged, and punched him square in the face. Makarov fell, and gave a shocked, "what the hell?"

Price leaned close and whispered to him, "Gotta' save my own arse. By the time they find out I'm not really..." Price looked down at his nametag, "Boco Berrythorn, I'll be in a new hotel, and you'll be cleaning up The Juicy Coconut in prison clothes! Bye bye Sneaky lil' Makarov," Price said, rushing out of the jail as the desk man took a yelling, cursing, Makarov back to his cell.

Price ditched the uniform about a half mile from the jail. He glanced back and saw that alarms and flashy red lights had been turned on. No doubt they'd found the knocked out security guard. Price reached into his pocket for the spare credit card he always kept on hand, just in case he ever needed to bail someone out of jail...

Price slapped his forehead, groaning in disgust. Now he was in to deep, and the Jamaica police would want him arrested. This vacation was becoming quite unsatisfactory. Price hated using big words if he had to, but unsatisfactory was about the only word he could use to describe his situation. When they let out Makarov, he would be another kind of angry, and ruin Price's vacation even more. He would also have to collect his things from his hotel and rent a new one, so they couldn't track him down. All this just because he was trying to have a relaxing vacation away from those crazy soldiers at the base... oh but how he missed them. He missed the fights, the drama, the romance and the food. He missed Gaz, Soap, Shepard, and all the other insane men who lived there. It had only been three days and he was going mad. Poor, poor Price.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

Ramirez and Tiffany sat in the back of a military truck in a parking lot about a mile from base. Ramirez was glad to be away from the men, but seemed a bit anxious. Tiffany repeatedly asked questions about the base, and about Gaz, not him. It got uncomfortable when she started asking who guards the base and all the security stuff, but Ramirez had made sure not to tell her anything too important.

"So, where does that Gaz guy sleep?" Tiffany asked.

"Uh, the barracks, with the rest of us?" Ramirez said, shifting around nervously.

"Yeah? What about that grandpa?" Tiffany asked, blowing a big pink bubble with her chewing gum.

"Uh, Shepard? He sleeps in his office. Captain Price has a bed in his office too, but since he's not here Soap- uh, Captain Mactavish, sleeps there instead," Ramirez explained.

"What bed does Gaz sleep in?"

"Number six, top bunk, above my bed... Now hold on, why so many questions about Gaz?" Ramirez tried to question.

"I just want to know about you!" Tiffany said, pretending to be shocked.

"Well it really seems like you want to know about Gaz, not me. You don't like him, right?" Ramirez asked sadly.

"Not at all! I like you Ram Ram," Tiffany said, smiling.

"Well, okay. As long as you don't fall in love with Gaz or nothing."

"Course not. Now, I wanna spend the night. That would be fun," Tiffany said, grinning.

"Soap- uh, Captain Mactavish will get mad!" Ramirez said.

"He doesn't have to know..."

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

Back at the base, Ramirez had managed to sneak Tiffany into the barracks. He was soon asleep, but she was not. She was quietly rummaging through Gaz's things, like a creeper. Gaz didn't notice her when he went to go to the bathroom, but she started messing with his mattress. When he came back, he didn't notice her staring at him from behind the door, taking in every last detail of his movement, his hat, his watermelon pajamas, and his tired eyes...

Morning came quickly, and Ramirez was starting the truck, Tiffany in the passenger seat, when a very furious Soap had stormed out of the office.

"James Ramirez!" he shouted, pulling him out of the truck, Tiffany watching in amusement.

"I'm sorry Captain Mactavish!" Ramirez pleaded as Soap wrestled him to the ground.

"Civilians on base are a bad, bad thing! I'm calling Price right away, and he'll straighten you out, oh yes he will! I am about sick of everyone disobeying, I am CAPTAIN!" Soap shouted, handcuffing Ramirez.

"You are going in the brig, and she is going home!"

The brig turned out to be an old, unused portable toilet that Soap had spent all night fashioning into a prison cell. He had lined the plastic walls with sheet metal, welded them together, and installed seven locks, including padlocks, number codes, and deadbolts. A small tube led to a dog bowl in one corner to poor in water, another to a plate for food, and one breathing tube. Ramirez sat sadly in the makeshift prison, handcuffed and cramped. Soap had insisted on taking Tiffany home himself. When he got home, he was furious. Ramirez could hear him at the track, yelling at the men to run faster. He was glad he didn't have to run, but it was hot in his prison. After an hour, some purple slop was dumped into the food tube. Ramirez heard Jackson whisper through the tube.

"Sorry dude, Kamarov sucks at cooking. Soap didn't say anything about letting you out, but I'll ask."

"Thanks dude, is Tiffany okay?"

"Yeah I think. Soap took her home- uh coming Captain Mactavish! Gotta go dude, sorry!" Ramirez could hear Jackson running away, and some distant shouting from Soap. That guy was insane with power. It wasn't until a bunch of shouting came from the barracks that Ramirez got worried.

"Don't move Gaz, you'll be okay!"

"Anyone know how to disarm them?"

"You cut the red wire right? Or the green?"

"Don't cut them!"

"Call Shepard!"

"Call Price!"

Ramirez began banging on the door.

"What's going on guys? Help!"

Everything went quiet for a minute. Then, the portable toilet's door swung open, Soap standing there, looking terrified and very, very angry.

"Barracks, now!" he said, pointing a shaky finger at the door.

Ramirez walked to the barracks, Soap following closely. When he got there, the scene was terrifying. Gaz was laying on his bed, holding an envelope. Underneath the bed, strung up in the mattress were several packs of C4 explosives, all beeping softly.

"Read the letter Gaz," Soap said.

Gaz was as white as a sheet, his voice cracking and squeaky.

_"Dear Gaz. Miss me? I miss you. Blowing up my business was a big mistake. That hospital was meant to help people, like you. Now, I don't particularly care for your addiction. This is personal. Which is why you lay here now, on your bed, explosives ready to detonate if you dare try and leave. They are on a weight detonator, if you move they will explode, you will explode, just like you tried to blow me up. Eat granola in hell for me, Dr. Shizzum."_

"You're girlfriend was working for Shizzum!" Meat yelled.

All of the other men began yelling and throwing things at Ramirez. He sunk to the floor, and began to sob. His first real girlfriend had been a spy for the evil Dr. Shizzum. That was why she wanted to know so much about Gaz. She had never wanted to date Ramirez, she had only wanted to kill Gaz. This was a disaster.

"ENOUGH!" A booming voice echoed through the room.

General Shepard walked in. He held a big black case, and stared at everyone threateningly.

"Look at yourselves. You've become animals. Soap, you let this happen. I'm relieving you of Captain duty," Shepard said, glaring at him.

"But I-" Soap tried to explain, but met the harsh glares of all the others, and fell silent.

"But it was Ramirez's girlfriend..." Meat said.

Shepard's expression softened.

"There was no way he could have known. I'm very disappointed in you all. I have tried calling Captain Price, but he appears to be missing and wanted in Jamaica. I am now Captain and General for until we either find Price, or get a new Captain. Now let me disarm that bomb," Shepard said, walking over.

"How did you know this bomb was on?" Shepard asked.

"I saw the envelope on the ceiling, and it was hooked on a switch. I think it turned on the bomb," Gaz said.

Shepard got to work. It took a full forty minutes, but Gaz was safely taken from the barracks and into the kitchen for some soup. Soap had retreated to Price's office to pack up his things and return to the barracks. The men pelted him with the last of Kamarov's cooking while he walked there. Soap just hung his head, accepting the treatment. If he was lucky, they would soon forget all about it and torment somebody else.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

In the week since his escape, Captain John Price had become a wild creature. He roamed the jungles of Jamaica, war paint on his face. He survived off the land, eating the exotic berries and fruits that grew there. He moved at night, following the light of the moon. By day he hid, as the law enforcement tracked him. Price had accepted the jungles as his new home. He could shower under the small waterfalls, drink from the freshwater streams, and eat the fruit and plants around him. He missed the men, but that was behind him now. The police wouldn't stop until they had him, and he couldn't get back to the UK if he wanted to. They would recognize him on the plane and haul him off to prison. He couldn't do the time, he couldn't pay those horrible fines. Price heard them talk as he hid.

"Highly dangerous..."

"Prison for a year..."

"No showers..."

Price might have imagined the last one, but he was sure it was what he heard. He wondered how Makarov was doing. Probably awful. He would have cleaned the entire Juicy Coconut by now, and was probably banned from the nightclub. Price lay in a muddy hole, leaves pulled over his head, thinking about his mistakes. The SAS base had been a good run, but this was his home now. He couldn't escape, so he wouldn't. Never, ever... Never...

**THE END FOR NOW**

**a/n:**

**First of all, I am SO so so so so so times a million sorry! You know what, even more than a million. PLEASE FORGIVE meh for not updating for so long! Actually technically I didn't even write this, it was my big brother Eric! You know, Cosmo17? SO yeah, thank him for updating, not me. I'm just the person here with an account...and the person who first wrote trouble...but I've been slacking. You all have permission to be mean to me, for I truly deserve it. Never mind, please don't be mean to me. ANYWAYS, thank you to all who have reviewed, for it made my heart sing with glee 3 because y'know, reviews are the butter to my waffles. Hehehehhh. SORRY, I'm getting off track. I would have been the person writing this, but my new story, A Little Taste in History, is a big hit! It's a Hetalia/Harry Potter crossover. Feel free to read it! **

** So yessah, I truly hope yeh enjoyed the chapter. Why the hell am I talking like this? Ahh anyway, leave meh some reviews, and I'll force my brother to write more. Jk, I might write some more too. But yeah, this note is getting very long and stuff...THANKS FOR READING!**

** I'll be back with you all soon!**

**From,**

**Gazlover/Kristen/Canada! (Only Hetalia people will understand why I am Canada)  
**


	16. Old friends, including a hobo

It was a cold day on the SAS base. Actually, the reason it was so cold was because it was nearly Christmas! In two days, presents would be opened, love would be shared, and Christmas cookies would be eaten. But all was not well. Captain Price had been missing in Jamaica for over three weeks, and the men were not happy at all. General Shepherd had completely taken control, and he was kind of strict. The men had almost completely forgotten about Soap's horrible Captain days, and were now tormenting Shepherd endlessly.

"Hey mate, got your coffee," Ghost said, handing Shepard his coffee.

The old General took a sip, then spat it out all over the table.

"Two times the sugar, one times the cream, right sir?" Ghost smirked.

"NO! Two creams, one sugar! This is all wrong!"

These minor things happened all the time, but most of the men were sad that Captain Price was gone. He had been such a great man, even if he did make them excessively shower. Shepard had started to talk about finding a new Captain, and that got the men wild! At first they had tried to barricade themselves, every man at the base, in Price's office, then they made the phone's die with thousands of calls to Jamaica. Shepherd had made sure that interviews for the new Captain position would start the day after Christmas.

Ghost and Soap stared at the poster on the wall that Meat had made.

_Captain interview after Santa day! We miss you Captain Price! Whoever wants to be Captain, come to General Shepard's office at noon the day after Santa day. General Shepherd says that Soap isn't allowed to be Captain, so don't even try. Bye!_

"That isn't fair!" Soap yelled.

"Well, you aren't a very good Captain mate," Ghost said.

"Then who else could be Captain?"

"Me," Ghost said, folding his arms smugly.

"YOU? You can't be Captain, you're a crazy man!" Soap said, panicking a bit.

"Well I'm gonna try. And I think you might want your brain checked, YOU were the crazy one," Ghost said.

They walked away to the mess hall, arguing about who could possibly be the best Captain.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

A scruffy man stalked through the jungle, and long knobbly stick in his hands. His eyes searched the forest wildly, and his beard and moustache were fully grown and bushy, full of little twigs and thorns. He wore no shirt, and was covered in mud. His shorts were dirty and torn, and he wore beat up boots. This man was Captain Price. Well, he was now convinced that his name was Jungle James the Fearless, but that could have just been those bright blue berries he had eaten. Either was, he was insane. He had cast away the memories of home, and replaced them with animal instinct. How horrible, the jungles had driven him mad. If only Makarov hadn't come to Jamaica, if only he had never gone to that party...

It was too late.

"I wanna tend the rabbits," Price said wildly, peering into a rabbit hole.

One darted out, and Price tripped over a tree root when he tried to grab it. Price just sat there and tore a piece of bark from the tree, nibbling on it for a bit.

"This bark will help me grow strong! I will be strong, and I will triumph!" Price yelled, then bit a chunk off the bark.

He really was insane.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Back at the SAS base, the men were all eating breakfast. The cooks had made breakfast pizza, with many toppings and hash browns on the side. Gaz was ranting on and on about how if he had gone with Price to Jamaica, then he would have been a hero, and rescued Price from whatever horrible monster was keeping him in Jamaica. Roach had had enough, punching Gaz in the stomach. Shepherd just nodded at Roach, who grinned and sat back down.

"Who do you think should be Captain?" Roach asked Nikolai, who was inspecting his hash brown thoroughly before eating it.

"Maybe you could be, my friend. Or Ghost. Or maybe even an outsider," Nikolai said, shifting nervously in his seat.

"What about you?" Roach asked.

"NO! I can't be Captain, I'm just a pilot. Anyways, it can't be me."

"Why not?" Roach asked, munching on a piece of breakfast pizza.

"I'm not the leader type," Nikolai said, blushing.

It was true. One time, he was picked as team captain for a game of tag. It did not end well, especially when both teams turned on him and tagged him hundreds of times until he fainted.

"Well, maybe I'll try signing up. It could be fun," Roach said.

The day went by slowly. Everyone helped to shovel the piles of snow that were all over the base. Gaz, of course, sat in the lounge, drinking hot chocolate, until Shepherd threatened to take his hat and seal it inside a big safe if he didn't scrape the ice from the roofs.

Just as the men finished shovelling, a huge snow storm blew in. Shepherd was annoyed, but had the men take a break. The watched A Christmas Story, laughing the whole way through.

"The Bumpus dogs was my favorite part!" Meat said.

"I liked the leg lamp," Ghost said, bringing his mask up just enough to take a sip of hot chocolate.

"I couldn't even watch it with Worm and Kamarov kissing the whole time," Paul Jackson said.

"Hey guys... you smell that?" Gaz said suddenly, sniffing the air.

"Yeah, Kamarov," Soap said.

"No! Christmas dinner!" Gaz shouted.

All of the men rushed quickly from the lounge, yelling and tripping each other. Soon, they were all in the mess hall, greeted with a fabulous sight. Piles of turkey, boats of gravy, peas, carrots, squash, bread, butter, cranberry sauce, and even a special watermelon bar.

The watermelon bar was mainly for Gaz, but is was soon popular with the others as well. The bar had watermelon wine, watermelon casserole, watermelon pot pie, and even a watermelon stir fry. The men filled their plates, eating happily. Even Shepherd looked happy as the cooks had remembered his coffee, and a special brand of turkey soup for echoed around the mess hall.

"Harry Potter would totally kick Yugio's ass!" Ramirez was saying.

"Well, what about The Terminator fighting Vash the Stampede?" Foley said.

"Vash, totally dude," Dunn said.

Across the hall, Soap and Ghost were talking.

"Wonder what Price is doing right now?" Soap wondered.

"Probably laying in a hole somewhere, thinking about how old he is," Ghost said.

Soap punched him in the arm.

"He's not that old!"

Soon, they all left, tummys full, to shower and go to bed. Gaz was particularly full, having eaten nearly half of the watermelon bar himself. They all went to bed. It was nearly 2:00 AM when Meat woke up Griggs.

"What is it man?" Griggs asked, rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes.

"Lets go to the lounge and see the presents!" Meat whispered.

"Hell yes!"

So they snuck out. in the lounge, hundreds of presents lay across the whole room. The enormous pine tree in the corner glistened with lights and tinsel. There was a loud snore from the couch. Both men stood still, terrified.

"It must be an abominable snowman!" Meat whispered.

"Nah, it's just Shepherd," Griggs said, creeping closer.

Sure enough, General Shepherd lay on the couch, dressed in a Santa suit. Who knows why he was wearing that! A half eaten cookie was resting on his stomach.

"Shepherd is Santa?" Meat wondered.

"I think he's one of Santa's helpers," Griggs said.

Meat and Griggs both crept out of the lounge, knowing that they would be in big trouble if Shepherd woke up.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Captain Price sat in his tree home that was made of vines and fern leaves. His Christmas dinner had been a small handful of raspberries he had stumbled across. Price sighed, staring up at the sky. He desperately wanted to go home, but he could never get out of Jamaica! He had been in Jamaica for a whole month. He had so much more to do! There was the Canes on the Moon festival in two months, he still had never searched Youtube on his computer, and he would never receive another copy of Showers Around The World Monthly in the mail. Price lay down and went to sleep.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Gaz screamed as loud as he could, ripping the nearest man out of his bed, who happened to be Soap.

"Ah! Gaz what the hell?" Soap yelled as he collapsed to the floor.

"Get up you turd, it's time for presents," Gaz said.

By now, everyone in the barracks was awake. They began filing out tiredly, some very excited to open gifts, some groaning in tiredness. When they got to the lounge, General Shepherd was laying on the floor, his Santa hat askew and his fake beard covering his eyes.

"Hey friend!" Meat yelled, poking his ribs.

"Arg, get off of me!" Shepherd rolled over, his back cracking a million times.

Ghost whispered to Soap, "It's quite pathetic really. This is our General, c'mon!"

"Yeah, he's way older than Price," Soap agreed.

"Go to the mess hall. Breakfast before presents," Shepherd mumbled.

With groans of impatience from some of the men, they all walked out. Gaz was the first to walk into the mess hall. The sight that met his eyes made him gasp in terror.

"Merry Christmas lads!" Captain Macmillan stood on a table in the middle of the room, dressed in his ghillie suit.

"Captain Macmillan?" Soap asked.

"Grass lump!" Meat shouted.

"Calm down laddys. I've got gifts," Macmillan said, pointing to the pile of lumpy presents that all looked the same.

"Uh, thanks," Ghost said, walking over to pick one up.

"Well, open it," Macmillan said excitedly.

The other men looked scared, and Ghost slowly tore open the camoflauge wrapping paper. A lump of grass fell out.

"Ghillie suit masks, just like mine! Now you will all be proper soldiers," Macmillan said, clearly proud of himself.

The men didn't know what to say, just simply opening theirs and thanking Macmillan. A few put theirs on, making them look like a cross between Chewbacca and a swamp monster. This made Macmillan very happy.

"This is the greatest Christmas ever. If only Price was here to see it," Macmillan said, wiping a happy tear from his eye.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Price's Jamaican Christmas had been pretty boring. He had managed to drag a fifty pound rock across a small stream, and now sat on it, wondering what color sweater he might have received from Gaz this Christmas.

"Stupid jungle," he said, kicking the rock.

"Ow!" Price hopped on one foot before finally sitting down again.

Christmas had always been a good time for him. Now, he was completely missing it, trapped alone in a jungle in another country. Price couldn't pity himself, no matter how much he wanted to. He decided he would make it home, that it was just another adventure ahead. Except this adventure would be alone.

Price stumbled through the jungle, following the moss he now called 'amigo.' After a half hour of walking, he stumbled upon a road. Just as he was getting the scent of the place, a car sped towards him. Price's eyes widened and he jumped, landing on the hood of the car and beating it with his fists. It swerved back and forth before driving into a ditch. Price jumped off right before it crashed, landing nimbly on all fours, snarling like a dog.

A man crawled out of the car, groaning and holding his head. Price stopped growling when he saw who it was.

"YOU!" Price howled, leaping at the man, pinning him to the ground.

"Wha-? I thought you were dead!"

Sneaky lil Makarov was looking more pristine than ever. He wore a (now dirty) suit, shiny black shoes, and his hair was cut nicely. Price, on the other hand, was shirtless, covered head to toe in mud, his chest was hairy, and he looked insane, his once proud moustache now a full beard, scruffy and full of twigs and small bugs.

"Why are you so... good looking?" Price asked in disbelief.

"I decided to stay here! I got a job, a house, and a car, which you destroyed!" Makarov said angrily.

Price just stared.

"Can you get me on a plane?"

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Back at the base, Christmas was in progress. Captain Macmillan and Shepherd sat on the lounge couch, watching the men open presents. Soap had run out to the armory and quickly wrapped up a sniper rifle, sneaking it in and giving it to Macmillan. He was very pleased. There were gifts from 'Santa' and gifts from all men to each other. Gaz was wearing a new winter hat with a British flag, Shepard was wearing a light up reindeer sweater from Meat, and Soap was holding a brand new iPod.

"Thank's for the coffee Foley. My favorite," Shepherd said happily, unwrapping a bag of two cream, one sugar coffee.

"No problem sir. Thanks for the knee pads," Foley said, strapping them on, falling backwards as he did.

Ghost got a new laptop, Jackson got a new gun, Kamarov got a copy of Cooking for Dummies, and Griggs got Fifty Cent's new CD. After everyone had opened presents, they all went to lunch in the mess hall. The cooks had made grilled cheese and tomato soup, with reindeer cookies on the side.

Macmillan sat with Shepherd, quite happy with the Christmas turnout.

"Now, have you considered any of these fine men for the Captain position?" he was saying.

"Yes, but what about you? You could do wonders..."

"No way! I'm retired lad. What about Soap?" Macmillan said, peering over at the mohawked soldier.

"He's not fit to be Captain. Crazy loon, that one. No, I was thinking Ghost, or maybe Roach. Though I have a feeling things may turn out badly with them in the leader seat," Shepherd explained.

"What you need is an outsider. Somebody with survival experience, who can influence these young lads," Macmillan said, stuffing an entire grilled cheese under his face mask.

When the men had finished lunch, they got to play outside in the snow. It had been Roaches idea, and the men all happily agreed, heading out to build snowmen. Ghost had the wonderful idea to put a grenade inside a snowman, then paintball it until it blew up in a shower of colors. Gaz buried Kamarov, while Meat and Griggs made snow angels around him.

"This scarf should keep you warm," Gaz said, stuffing it in Kamarov's mouth as a gag.

Nikolai went up to Roach just then.

"I know who can be Captain," he whispered excitedly.

"Who?" Roach asked.

"A friend."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Makarov's house sat on the beach. It had everything, five bathrooms, each with up to four showers, golden toilets, and six bedrooms.

"How did you afford this?" Price asked in awe.

He had showered, shaved, and preened his moustache. He had also borrowed one of Makarov's 'spare suits.'

"Well, after you escaped, I was cleaning The Juicy Coconut, when these guys came in to rob the place, and I locked them in the backroom. The owner was old, and said he couldn't deal with robberies and young people any more. He retired on the spot and was so greatful that I saved the club, he sold it to me for free! Business is booming," Makarov said proudly.

Price's face fell in horror.

"So, if I had cleaned the Coconut, and didn't break out of jail, I could have had all this, and owned the club alongside you?"

Makarov grinned.

"Yeah, you could have," he said.

Price sunk down onto the priceless polar bear hide sofa, his left eye twitching furiously.

"Now I have so much money, I almost have no choice but to sneak you out of Jamaica," Makarov said.

"Just get me out of here," Price said, his voice hollow.

Makarov had nearly reached the phone, but stopped.

"Unless..."

"Unless what?" Price asked irritably.

"Well, say I offered for you to become my co-manager. I could buy you an excellent reputation in Jamaica, and clear your criminal record. All I want is every last man on that SAS base to be my unpaid employees. I could get them a warehouse to sleep in," Makarov said, smiling at Price.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

It was morning, and there was no sign of Nikolai or Roach on the base. Shepherd figured that they had gone flying or something, and was interviewing the men for Captain. Ghost sat in front of him.

"Why would you be a good Captain, Ghost?"

"Because I'm tough! I'd put some sense into those lessers and make them all shower, just like Price, except I wouldn't have to shower, muahahaha!"

"Uh, thanks Ghost, I'll let you know," Shepherd said, scribbling some notes.

Kamarov stepped in next.

"I think these guys need some discipline! And I used to be a detective, so I'm perfect," he said happily.

"I'll consider it," Shepherd said.

This went on for several more men. Gaz's interview was interesting.

"As Captain, I would have many servants to bring me melon. Ghost could be my personal butler, and he would always have your coffee on time and prepared to perfection, two creams and one sugar exactly. Everyone would shower daily, but I would let them get away without one or two. Lastly, every week would have a melon and tater tots day in the cafeteria," Gaz finished, satisfied.

By now, all of the base had crowded around the interview table in the mess hall. They had been pretty satisfied with Gaz's interview, and were clapping.

"Well Gaz, you may have this thing down," Shepherd said, scribbling more notes on a sheet of paper.

BANG!

The door of the mess hall slammed open, and everyone turned their heads in surprise. In the

doorway stood Nikolai and Roach, holding a big sheet.

"My friends, I have someone I'd like you to meet!" Nikolai announced.

The flung the sheet away, revealing an extremely hairy man, wearing tattered rags and leaves, with big leaves for pants, and beat up, fingerless gloves.

"Hello there youngins!"

"Everyone, this is my friend Hobo!" Nikolai said, smiling.

Everyone gasped. They had heard stories of the Hobo, but nobody except Nikolai had ever really seen him. He scratched his chest and slumped forward, a few flies landing on him. He pulled Gaz out of the seat and sat down.

"It took us hours to find him!" Nikolai said.

"Was eatin' bark I was. Good meals in the winter," Hobo said.

Shepherd frowned.

"Why did you bring him here?" he asked.

"He would be the perfect Captain! He knows all about surviving in the woods, how to deal with raccoons, and he saved me didn't he? He surely will make a great Captain my friends!" Nikolai beamed.

"What about showers?" Ghost called out.

"What's a shower?" Hobo asked.

The men cheered, and Hobo smiled.

"Looks like you're our new Captain, Mr. Hobo. The men seem to like you the most, so welcome aboard," Shepherd said, holding out his hand.

"You wouldn't happen to have any paper clips do you youngin? They're good luck," Hobo said, inspecting Shepherd's hand.

"You can have all the paper clips you want in your new office," Shepherd said happily, grasping Hobo's dirty gloved hand.

Hobo was full of glee, rushing to Nikolai, who led him to the office. This was certainly going to be an adventure.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Captain Price sat in Makarov's home office, typing an email to the base. He had thought hard about his decision, and decided now was a good time to tell them. When he was done typing it, he hit send, much to Makarov's glee.

Dear Shepherd, after a series of extremely unfortunate events, I have had my name cleared in Jamaica. I am currently housed with a good friend, and have decided to sell the men of the base to my business partner. You are welcome to come as well. We will be running The Juicy Coconut, a famous nightclub in this sunny resort. They will be unpaid of course, but they will have free housing in a nice warehouse, as well as one meal a day. Thank you, Price.

"I am glad we could be partners Price," Makarov beamed, shaking the old man's hand.

"Well as long as I can keep that mansion, we'll be okay," Price said.

"Yes, you can. Goodbye Price, I assume you will be going back now?"

"In a day or two, yeah. Gotta pick them up and all that," Price chuckled nervously.

He had a feeling the men weren't going to be happy, especially Gaz. In the back of his mind, he couldn't help but think that Sneaky lil Makarov probably wouldn't have any watermelon for him. After a long ride in a limo to the airport, Price got on the plane, a free man. Thinking about his past, he shook his head. He needed to look to the future. The spa treatments, the money, the paradise, and personal moustache professionals. The good life.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Shepherd stared in horror at the email he had just got from the missing Captain Price. His head was spinning at the thought of Price still being out there, and wanting to sell these good men to some business guy in Jamaica. He walked into the lounge in a daze, finding all of the men watching a movie with Hobo, who was intrigued.

"It's been eleventy seven years and fifteen sixty days since I've seen moving screens. And with no jumper cables, now tha's somethin," Hobo was saying, tapping on the television screen.

"Yes my friend, all of our society is amazing!" Nikolai said happily.

"Indeed youngin, tis it tis. I don't suppose you have any C batteries? I collect them with my paper clips, I do." Hobo said, turning and sniffing the air.

"Ahem, uh, men?" Shepherd said, trying to clear his mind of the strange scene he had just witnessed.

Everyone jumped and turned to stare at him.

"Youngin, sit by the fire?" Hobo said, motioning to the live, burning camp fire in the middle of the lounge.

"What the hell? Why is that in here?" Shepherd asked.

"Hobo taught us how to build a non flammable camp fire!" Meat squealed excitedly.

Shepherd just slapped his hand against his face, then sat on the couch next to the fire.

"I have some very bad news to tell you all," Shepherd said, his face hard.

Instantly, the men erupted into questions and assumptions.

"They've run out of watermelon?"

"Macmillan is actually a swamp monster?"

"Soap is a woman!"

"Paper clips are extinct? NOOO!"

Shepherd had had enough.

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" He screamed in a fury that nobody had seen for quite some time.

"Captain Price just sent me an email. He's selling you all to a club owner in Jamaica. You

will all be heading there as soon as he arrives, I suppose. Hobo will have to leave, and... I have to as well," he finished, hanging his head.

He did not want to live in a warehouse for the rest of his life, and his mind was made up. He would escape in the morning on his hang glider. Shepherd looked up to see a teary eyed Meat, staring at him in shock.

"Look, I'm sorry. I don't know what's come over him, but Price is absolutely the leader of you men. I just supervise, and I have other priorities. Please..." Shepherd tried to explain, but was answered only with glares.

The only one who appeared not to give a damn was Hobo, who was furiously rummaging under the television stand, mumbling about paper clip shavings and the importance of daily gardening.

"That old man isn't our Captain if he's going to sell us. Hobo is," Gaz said furiously.

"Now Gaz, I'm sure he has his reasons. Money is very important..."

"Money is pointless if you don't have anyone to share it with! Why isn't Price thinking about us? Were like family," Soap pointed out.

Shepherd just sighed.

"I can't live in a warehouse. I'm not built for that kind of stress."

"A BLOODY WAREHOUSE?" Ghost shouted.

"Warehouse's are bad luck youngin," Hobo said.

The men had gone crazy. Gaz was yelling and beating the wall, Soap was jumping up and down on a chair, Kamarov and Worm were sobbing into each other's arms, and Hobo was watching in delight, apparently very excited by all the commotion. That's when Foley cried out a brilliant idea for once.

"HEY! I think that since Hobo is the Captain now, he should tell us what to do!"

The men went silent, thinking, before all heads turned to the hairy, smelly, Hobo. Hobo shifted uncomfortably at all of the intense stares, before speaking his mind.

"Ye are all my friends. Now youngin here (he motioned to Nikolai) has brought me here

to watch over ye munchkins. So I will. This mean sir wont take any away, cause I'm in charge," he said, proud of his speech as he smiled behind his bushy, bug infested beard.

"Then it's decided. Nobody is going to Jamaica. If your former Captain does turn up, Hobo and I will have a word with him. Now run along, we have things to discuss," Shepherd said, motioning the men out.

"Alright Mr. Hobo. Let me give you the long, sad story..."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Captain Price had landed in London. The SAS base was a long drive away, and he still had to stop at Joe's Sprinkles to get himself an ice cream. Staring at the wad of 100$ bills in his hand, he decided he didn't want to spend the money on getting Shepherd one. The man was getting rather chubby in his opinion, and he didn't want to encourage sweets. Price had on a nice suit, and cool shades. Ever since he had agreed to owning The Juicy Coconut with Makarov, he was living big. After awhile, he pulled up to Joe's Sprinkles. The crowd of people turned to look at him with ooh's and ahh's, and one little girl even began to cry, because his moustache looked scary. Price just patted her head and went to the counter.

"I'll have a triple supreme banana split with a splash of whiskey, and make it snappy!" Price commanded, and soon his whiskey covered ice cream was in his hand.

"Exact change," he said, slapping down a fifty on the counter.

The cashier didn't look happy, but Price waved it off. People just weren't used to his stylish appearance. That's when a blonde woman, chewing bubble gum and looking rather annoyed, approached him.

"Who do I owe the pleasure?" Price asked with a wink.

"Stuff it grandpa. Name's Tiffany. You must be John Price?" the girl said in an 'oh so important' attitude.

Price frowned.

"Yes. How do you know me?"

"Oh I know you well. I also know Gaz very well. I assume you'll be attending his funeral?"

Price's stomach dropped. Who was this girl? Had she hurt his best friend? Best friend... Price's mind flashed vividly from scene to scene, picturing the men sleeping in a warehouse, Makarov laughing as Gaz cleaned The Juicy Coconut, polished his shoes, and was forced to murder a melon... Price grabbed her arm.

"Who are you!" he yelled, causing some people to stare.

"Dr. Shizzum says hello," Tiffany grinned, and pepper sprayed Price's face.

He yelled in surprise, trying to wipe away the stinging spray. More visions popped in his mind, and he entered flashback mode.

**Flashback:** Gaz sat under a tree, contently eating his melon, spitting the seeds at a very unhappy looking Soap. Price simply laughed and patted him on the back.

**Flashback:** Gaz with a look of anger in his fiery eyes, staring up at the cold, grey Sunnyside building.

"I'm gonna make them pay. Shizzum will pay," he said.

"Don't worry Gaz. Were SAS. She doesn't stand a chance." Price said.

His friend would get his revenge.

**Flashback:** Gaz grumbling unhappily as he walked to the showers. Price felt a bit bad, but showers were of the utmost importance.

"Why do you always make us shower anyways?"

Price shook his head, smiling.

"One day, you'll understand..."

Price snapped to attention. Tiffany was nowhere in sight. He threw the ice cream back at the crowd of people, who started yelling. He jumped in his car and roared off, desperate to get to his friend. All he wanted now was to see them again, live at the SAS base, with the happy memories. Sneaky lil Makarov would pay, in time. Price turned on the radio, a sad country song blasting in the speakers. Price wiped away tears as Georgia Rain played, though the tears could have been from the pepper spray. Only Price would know.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"And that's how you ended up here. Any questions?" Shepherd was staring at Hobo.

He had just retold every last bit of trouble that had happened since he arrived at the base, and Hobo was looking very joyful.

"That was a wonderful story youngin! I've told many a story by the fire, and none so good like that. Your a good friend youngin," Hobo said, patting Shepherd's shoulder, who smiled a bit.

"Well, you know everything about them. I leave them to you then Mr. Hobo. I've got a hang glider to catch. If Price really does turn up, I want out," he said halfheartedly.

Suddenly, a loud bang came from outside. It sounded like someone had busted through the gates. Shepherd groaned and Hobo cackled with glee.

"The raccoons are here! Get ready for a fight," he said, jumping up and pulling a stick from his shirt, flailing it like a sword.

They ran outside to find the men all standing there in shock. A black sports car sat in the parking lot, before it turned off. The door opened, and out stepped a man with a big, intimidating moustache, a suit, and wild looking, red eyes.

"IT'S THE TRAITOR!" Gaz screamed as Price started walking forward.

Price found himself being pelted with an assortment of food, soiling his expensive suit. After a dusty old watermelon grind hit him in the head, he raised his hands in defeat, sinking to the ground.

"Price?" Shepherd asked.

"Shepherd, thank god. I-"

"Leave."

Price stopped, very confused. He gazed around at the cold, angry stares from all the men. He was in deep doo doo.

"Gaz, I thought you were..."

"What Price? Thought what? WE thought you were gone forever, lost in the jungles. Now you turn up in a suit, after Shepherd get's an email from you, saying you sold us? That we have to live in a warehouse?" Gaz spat.

"Oh no, Gaz that was-"

"Was what Price? You SOLD us! To who?" Gaz shouted.

Price winced at the rage coming from his friend.

"Uh, that's not the point..."

Now, Soap stepped up.

"I think you owe us that much Price. You left me as Captain, then disappeared. Now we hear you sold us. Tell us who," he said darkly.

Price hung his head.

"Sneaky lil Makarov," he said, ashamed.

"WHAT?" Everyone screamed at the same time.

"I can explain! I lost everything in Jamaica. They wanted me arrested, but Makarov bailed me out and offered me a deal! I knew it was wrong, but the man saved my life. He was in Jamaica too, and now he's rich! I could have had that, but I was wrong. Money can't buy friends. Or family. And that's what I have here. All of you crazy men, my family. Gaz, I met Tiffany. She told me you were dead and... I... lost it."

The men were silent as Price hung his head to the ground. He just sat there, letting the humiliation wash over him.

"Youngin, I think you made a good speech."

Price looked up, confused as hell. Was that... Hobo?

"After they made me their new Captain, I was their friends. These youngins need you. You be a good man, with a strong heart. Everyone has a moment of weakness. This was yours, but you'll be strong now. Good man," Hobo said, smiling.

Suddenly, Price grew infuriated.

"You replaced me with a HOBO!" He yelled.

"Well... sort of..." Shepherd said, a tee bit embarrassed.

"What the hell happened to Soap being Captain? Why not make Ghost Captain you bloody idiots? You let a damn Hobo sit in MY Captain chair, sleep in MY office, why I ought to ground you all for a month for this, this is an outrage! Bloody hell, you can't be fuckin serious!" Price swore loudly, causing the others to gasp in surprise.

He breathed loudly before narrowing his eyes at the now skittish looking Hobo. Suddenly, he pounced on him, and Hobo let out a squeal of terror. The two men fought, and Ghost began to cheer them on.

"Replace me will you? I'll knock your block off!" Price shouted.

"Sorry I had to do this..." Shepherd said, causing Price to turn in curiosity.

He was greeted with a hard punch in the face, and the world went black.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Everything was quiet, and hazy. Price woke up and felt his eye. It was rather sore, and he had a feeling it was probably black. He realised he was in the doctor building, in a small comfy cot. Suddenly, a stick was poking the side of his head. He looked to the right to see Hobo sitting in a chair, smiling brightly. Price scrambled back, horrified at the sight.

"Easy there youngin. You got hit pretty hard," Hobo said, still grinning.

"You- they- Shepherd- you-"

"Hahaha, oh youngin. I talked to the others already. In fact, they already forgave you. See there?" Hobo said, pointing to a pile of late Christmas presents on the table next to him.

Price was dumbstruck.

"Youngin, I've learned somethin' here. You have a good family. Those boys are in need of a good man like you. Only reason I came here was cause my good friend Nikolai said I should. Hobo's aren't meant to live in society, no sir. So, I just wanted to say goodbye. Now I think you have some catching up to do," Hobo said, poking Price in the ribs with the stick gently before turning and walking out the door.

He was gone as fast as he had come. Price was still dazed for a moment, before the noise of many men shuffling into the room got his attention. The SAS men stared at him, grinning. Gaz walked up slowly and hugged him. Price didn't know what to say.

"Let's just forget this whole thing ever happened, eh?" Gaz said.

Price just nodded. He would never understand these men, or himself. But he would most certainly never, ever, EVER go to Jamaica again.

"I need to send an email," he said. "And if you guys don't want to, then no showers tonight. Nate's Restaurant on me?" he asked timidly.

The men broke out into cheers. Price smiled as Ghost handed him his laptop, and he began to type a very emotional, rude email to a certain sneaky someone.

**Extra:** Dear Sneaky lil Arsehole. Miss me? I don't miss you. I took your stash of money from that safe in the back of The Juicy Coconut, and am going to spend it on a swimming pool for my men. That's right, CAPTAIN PRICE is back, and he still hates you. How dare you ever ask me to sell these men? You have a lot of pain coming your way Makarov, and prisoner 627 (my jail number in Jamaica) is going to kick your ass. Attatched is a computer virus that will never go away. See you in hell! -Price.

**a/n: I didn't get too many reviews...but whatevs. Once again this update is all thanks to my older brother, as he did it. I'll write the next chapter okay?:)**

**Review and you just might get some bacon...crispy and yummy bacon!**

**COMING UP NEXT:**

**_New Newcomers!_**

**The guys are going to have to welcome a whole new load of soldiers. One seems to know our sneaky little friend, and another seems very familiar with Price. What sort of trouble will the men get up to now?**

_hint: MW3_**  
**


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